Have you ever thought about things that you know happen in the world, every day, and you know it could happen to anyone but you never think it would happen to you? Things like getting mugged or being diagnosed with cancer, you know these things happen but you don't imagine it would ever happen to you. Or if you do think that, you think you will a victim of these horrible things, but you don't know how it will affect you.
You can imagine, anyone can, but you don't really know. You may think that faced with an armed man trying to rob you, you would kick them and run away or maybe just comply, but we don't really know. We don't know until we're right there in the moment. You could think that you would reach for your pepper spray, but when actually faced with that decision you could freeze up. We can never know until it happens.
Eiji was the type of person who thought these things would never happen to him.
He obviously knew it happened, he personally knew victims of those sort of things, but he never imagined himself in their place. Well, that wasn't completely true, he had thought about it a few times but his mind can't really capture the cruelness of reality.
Eiji Okumura was a Japanese transfer student in his first year at an American high school, living with his godfather and younger sister due to their parents passing, and ran on the track and field team. He has also somehow managed to befriend a group of delinquents and a pretentious rich boy who all manage to both get him into situations and also out of them.
Eiji had thought, only for a moment when his mind was reeling at the time, that maybe this wouldn't have happened if he wasn't close with them.
He never blamed any of them, though. Eiji truly believed that he, if he were friends with anyone else in his school, wouldn't have been as happy with anyone else and much preferred the people he had. He wouldn't trade them for the world. He did, however, find that it was almost funny that, after a long time feeling as though he did not belong in their "gang", something like this would act as some sort of initiation.
You must be wondering, what happened to our good ol' Eiji? Well...
It was a Thursday, Eiji and another track team teammate, James, had stayed back after the end of their meet to help their coach and were now alone in the change room together. James had finished getting dressed before Eiji and was hovering at the door, watching the Japanese boy in amusement as he struggled to untie his shoes.
"Did you want to walk together?" James asked, almost laughing as Eiji tried even more aggressively to get his laces undone.
"No, I am fine, I might also be here for a while," Eiji says, barely glancing at the other boy and glaring at his shoes that just did not want to come off.
James fully laughed at that. "Do you need help?"
"I will manage, you can go, thank you," Eiji said kindly, just continuing to struggle.
"Haha, okay, see you Monday," James chuckled, waving as he left.
Five minutes later, Eiji finally managed to get his shoes off, took off his shirt and pants, and was about to change into his other pants when he heard the change room door open.
"Did you forget-?" Eiji turned to the door, expecting to see James, forgetting his phone or something, but was caught off guard by who was actually there. Frederick Arthur. Star football player, stupid unnaturally yellow hair, and a huge grudge against Eiji's friends that he didn't understand.
Lucky for Eiji- or maybe unluckily -Arthur didn't seem to hate him, just the people he hung out with, so the two of them weren't on the verge of a fistfight whenever they were around each other which cannot be said the same for the rest of his friends.
Arthur had an odd glint in his eyes as he stalked forward.
"What are you doing here?" Eiji asked, turning away from him and desperately trying to keep his voice even.
"Football practice ran late today," Arthur said, as if it were obvious. Eiji glanced back at him and noted that the boy was wearing his normal clothes, also obviously lying since Eiji knew football only practiced on Wednesdays and Fridays, he wisely didn't comment.
"You are supposed to use the other changing rooms," Eiji said, growing tenser as Arthur drew closer to him, now almost leaning over him, making Eiji extremely uncomfortable as he was much shorter and only in his boxers.
"I know," Arthur answered, an almost teasing tone.
"W-what are you doing here?" Eiji asked, silently cursing himself for stuttering.
"Your little friends aren't here to help you," Arthur practically purred, shutting Eiji's locker and leaning against it, effectively pinning the smaller boy.
(You probably know where this is going, don't continue reading if you cannot handle this sort of thing, warnings are for a reason)
Eiji's breath hitched as Arthur grabbed his face and roughly kissed him, he tried to struggle against him but the boy's hold was too strong. Eiji attempted to kick upwards, trying to catch Arthur's shin or groin and escape but was blocked by the other putting his knee into Eiji's thigh and pinning it. He gasped when Arthur pulled away, struggling a little harder now that his face wasn't connected to another.
"Let go!" He yelled tugging extra hard on where Arthur had his hands pinned to the side, but still unsuccessful.
"Awe, don't be like that," Arthur cooed, pressing his face into Eiji's neck and littering it with sloppy, forceful kisses as he was still struggling.
It was hot and gross. Eiji was already uncomfortable since he was practically naked and hadn't showered yet, but Arthur's body pressed up so close to his and saliva wet against his skin was just made him feel another level of unclean and stuffy. Arthur slowly moved the both of them to the floor, still keeping a firm grip on the boy under him, and continued roughly kiss his neck.
Eiji started to really panic as he was pinned to the ground, looking around frantically and eyes landing on his phone on the floor next to him. 'When did that fall out?' Eiji thought to himself.
Arthur seemed to realize that Eiji had his attention drawn to something else, and spotted the phone. He smirked and shifted his weight and hold on to the boy so he could grab it, pop the back off, taking the battery out, snapping it in half, and throwing it off to the side. Eiji would have almost felt grateful that Arthur didn't just snap his phone entirely, instead of just the battery, if it weren't for the rest of the situation.
"Don't even think about it," Arthur nearly hissed, leaning down and blowing in Eiji's ear, kissing his jaw.
"Let me go!" Eiji shouted again, getting more and more panicked as this went on.
Arthur practically laughed at him, shaking his head. "Oh, but I haven't had any real fun with you,"
Eiji froze, tensing at the boy's words. 'This is happening' he thought. 'This is really happening, to me, alone, with no one to help me'
He let out a small whimper. "Please..." Eiji could feel tears of desperation welling up in his eyes and Arthur looked almost proud of himself. Disgusting.
"I'll let you go soon enough," Arthur said, grinning down at him as if he got off by the fear and struggle. He took off his belt, fumbling slightly since he was only using one hand, and used it to bind Eiji's hands over his head, attaching him to one of the benches in the middle of the room.
"Please don't," Eiji choked out, fighting against his tears and new bindings.
"Oh, don't worry," Arthur assured, still with a sinister smile. "I'll be gentle," he said, pulling his pants down just enough to take out his cock.
Eiji watched this and thought, only for a second, that his penis looked comically small compared to the size of the rest of his body but quickly shook away that thought as he pushed himself and desperately tried to get as far away from the boy as he possibly could. Arthur watched his poor attempt at a retreat in amusement, stalking towards Eiji menacingly. Eiji pressed himself as hard as he could against the bench, still trying to fight back his tears.
"No, please- you don't need to- I can-" Eiji was cut off as Arthur finally reached him and decided to just shove his dick in his mouth. Eiji choked, caught off guard, and tried to pull back but his head was held in place by Arthur who had one hand on the back of his head and one on his jaw, ensuring Eiji couldn't bite down properly. Despite Arthur's lackluster penis size, it still effectively filled Eiji's mouth as he attempted to reject it, at this point giving up on trying to force his tears from coming out and just letting them fall.
After roughly ten minutes of struggling to breathe and weakly fighting back against Arthur who just used his face as a problematic fleshlight, Eiji felt a hot, disgusting, and thick liquid fill his mouth. He gagged as it shot to the back of his throat and when Arthur slowly pulled his dick out of his mouth, Eiji went to spit but was stopped by the other boy grabbing his jaw and forcing his mouth shut.
"Swallow it," Arthur demanded, voice harsh. Eiji looked up at him defiantly and shook his head prompting Arthur to squeeze his jaw uncomfortably harder and glaring. "Do it." He spat. Eiji, seeing no other way out, painstakingly swallowed the bitter cum and when Arthur released his face, looking satisfied, he fell into a coughing fit.
"Don't die on me yet Samurai boy," Arthur coos. "I'm not done with you,"
Eiji looked at him, confused and frustrated. 'Not done with me? What more does he want?' He thought bitterly but quickly understood when Arthur grabbed him by his hips and moved to tug his boxers. Eiji frantically closed his legs and kept them pressed together as tight as he could to stop him.
"N-no-!" Eiji choked out, cutting himself off as he was roughly grabbed and Arthur pried his legs apart, skipping the niceties and just opting to rip Eiji's underwear to get them off. The Japanese boy tried to kick him again, push him back, but Arthur had pinned his legs down, putting a knee into both of the boys' thighs and effectively straddling him as well.
"Look at you~" Arthur crooned, running a hand from the base of Eiji's neck and down his torso, stopping halfway there to tickle his sides and watch him squirm.
Eiji no longer had a voice to beg with, he just kept his eyes screwed shut and thought desperately that this would end, someone would come to help him, or Arthur would just get bored. He wasn't that lucky though.
Arthur's hands continued their journey downwards and paused a second time to playfully stroke Eiji's dick a few times. If he didn't want to throw up before, Eiji definitely did now. These things should not happen this way, they shouldn't be taken. Sex was an intimate and loving thing that should be special for both parties, it is not something you get greedy about and just take from others without asking. Arthur's hands continued further down finally arriving down at Eiji's ass and asshole.
"Hmm, I bet you're a virgin, aren't you?" That wasn't a question, despite Arthur phrasing it that way, and Eiji just layed there. He hadn't thought his first time would be this way. When he imagined intimate touches and this closeness, it was special. He would have a girl (or boy, he still wasn't sure of his sexuality) and they would hold each other, kiss each other, touch each other, love each other, and feel good together. Eiji did not feel good right now and he knew that he would never be able to think of these touches again without this horrible experience coming to mind. He let tears fall down his face again.
Arthur passed a few fingers over Eiji's hole before leaning down and spitting. (spitting on him! Eiji was incredulous at this point) Eiji cringed as the saliva landed on his skin, not even where it was supposed to, and Arthur dragged it to the rim, spreading it around and using the spit as a lubricant before unpromptedly shoving two fingers inside.
Eiji let out a strangled, painful, and surprised cry and tried to tug his legs free again. Tears blurred his vision but Eiji will never forget that smile on Arthur's face at his reaction, as if proud of himself. Eiji couldn't do this anymore. He had thought that maybe, just maybe, if he stopped struggling and just let it happen, it wouldn't be so bad. He would just endure it and get this over with as quickly as possible, but he couldn't. The moment Arthur's fingers went inside him a flip switched and Eiji just couldn't. It hurt and he wasn't prepared for that, he wasn't going to be able to handle this so his best option was to desperately try and get away, which did him no favors.
Eiji thought bitterly, almost amused, to himself again about how 'if this was gentle then rough probably ended with one of them dying' but that thought didn't last as Arthur reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle of lube. His next thought was 'if this twisted mother fucker had lube, what did he spit on me for' but Eiji didn't get to be amused by his thoughts for very long as he watched Arthur put the lubricant on his fingers before promptly shoving them back into him.
Eiji let out another strangled groan at that, it hurt a little less this time but it didn't make it any less unpleasant. Arthur played around inside Eiji for a short while before he hummed and took his fingers out, as if he were contemplating what to do next with him.
"This should be fine," Arthur said, quickly covering his cock with lube and pressing it against Eiji's hole, grinning evily. "You ready?"
"N-no-!" Eiji sobbed, but that didn't matter when Arthur shoved his dick inside. His struggling didn't matter. His crying didn't matter. Nothing he said mattered. How much he thought, silently begging 'no no no no no no, stop, no no, please, it hurts, no' didn't matter. Arthur was there to take and take from him is exactly what he did.
At this point, Eiji had "checked out" of the situation. What happened next wasn't very clear in his mind since he got lost in his head after that. He vaguely registered Arthur pounding into him and being pushed harder and harder into the benches but he was just... out of it.
Eiji thought that this must be what people said disassociating was.
He never understood it before but he felt like he did now. He didn't know if he was even thinking in that moment, if he was really even in his body since he felt as though he was disconnected from everything whenever he thought back to it.
Arthur stopped eventually, he took his belt back, and possibly even said something too before he left. But Eiji wasn't there. He was vaguely floating around and hoping that maybe this was just some sort of dream.
It wasn't though, of course it wasn't.
When Eiji finally returned to his body, the first thing he registered was the ache in his body. He sat up and his body burned in protest to movement. The next thing he noticed was the passing of time and eerie silence, Eiji must have laid there for hours before moving.
He was numb as he picked up his phone, now significantly lighter without the battery in it, and standing up. He was numb as he put his clothes on. Numb as he grabbed his bag and left the changing rooms and found that it was dark outside, even more, telling of how much time had passed. Numb as he walked home, past all the stores and houses that look innocent in a normal route home, but distorted as the background in the image of a boy taking the walk of shame home after being raped. Numb as he exchanged a few words with his neighbors. Numb as he unlocked his front door and entered his house. Numb as he looked around his living room, completely dark, and just staying there for a long while. The feeling started wavering as he was just about to go upstairs to the bathroom and then do bed and a light turned on on the second floor, filling the staircase with light.
There was slight stomping as someone made their way halfway down the stairs and pausing and paused, looking at Eiji. Eiji saw his sister but she most likely didn't see him very well, which he was thankful for.
"Ni-chan? That's you?" She asked, tilting her head slightly.
"Yes, it's me," Eiji responded, cursing himself internally, hating how hoarse and sick his voice sounded.
Mika tilted her head again, this time to the other side. "You are late," she said, looking at a clock that Eiji couldn't quite see but was sure read as some time past nine. "Are you okay?"
Eiji nodded, despite his sister barely being able to see him. "I am fine," cringing again at the sound of his voice. Mika reached out to turn on the light and Eiji panicked.
"No don't!" He yelled, almost lunging at her. She immediately froze and looked at him with a shocked, confused, and concerned face. He desperately thought for an excuse. "Uh, my head hurts, the light will hurt my eyes, let us go to bed," he said.
Mika hesitated but nodded slowly. "We will talk tomorrow?" She questioned.
Eiji nodded."We can talk tomorrow,"
She nodded again, turning back upstairs, going to turn off the light, and then going to her bedroom. Eiji was left alone and went on auto-pilot mode. He droned to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror, glad his sister didn't see him in this state, being too lazy to do anything in there, going to his bedroom, and almost being too out of it to change into his pajamas. Almost doesn't mean he did it to its completion since all he did was change his pants, and then lay in his bed.
He lied in his bed and finally wasn't numb anymore.
Eiji felt again and felt everything. The numb shock that clouded his mind was gone and everything was right there in the bed with him. It wasn't just an ache in his body, it was real, hard pain that made him want to cry out as he moved in any way. The still quiet was still there, but it was miraculously all too loud and wild at the same time. This wasn't going to go away, he was going to see it at school the next day and every day, out when he was hanging out with his friends, and in the mirror of his own house because it was Eiji. This was going to change him. It was all too overwhelming and just took over Eiji's entire body. He did not make it to sleep.
He wept until tears stopped coming out and just continued weeping anyway until the sun shone in his window. It was Friday and on Friday there is school.