Katsuki Bakugou was struggling.
'Katsuki Bakugou doesn't struggle.' He thought to himself, scowling at his reflection in the mirror on the wall in his dormroom. It was a mantra he'd picked up from his mother. Born heroes didn't struggle. With anything. Ever.
Feelings. Ick. Before coming to UA, he'd never struggled. Everything came naturally to him. Everybody had always told him he was destined for great things. He was a prodigy. A genius. A talent.
He hadn't known it was ever going to be this difficult.
They'd barely known each other a year, but Eijiro was the best friend he'd ever had. Maybe the first.
The intrusive thought was unwelcome, and brought a sickening feeling with it, that stuck in his chest.
That's not true, he added quickly. Deku-
He stopped that thought right there. He didn't want to think about Deku. Or their childhood.
The sick feeling didn't ease.
He rolled over on his side on the bed, trying to make sense of increasingly racing thoughts.
He'd worn rose-print for that boy. It was pathetic, truly pathetic. This was not the image a Pro-Hero should be displaying. He groaned, cringing at the memory. He'd secretly enjoyed wearing that stupid suit. He'd enjoyed Eijiro's expression upon seeing him in it even more; so much so that he'd allowed him to take a selfie of the two of them in matching outfits.
The memory made the corners of his mouth twitch upwards, against his will. The night they'd shared that bed had been the best night of his life.
Why did the boy have to be so damn good. Nobody had ever looked right through him the way Eijiro had. Understanding implicitly what he was thinking, and what he was needed.
The way he refused to be intimidated and back off like everybody else did whenever Katsuki lost his temper.
The way his mere presence always seemed to make Bakugou feel calmer. Like coming home after a tough day training.
But dumb-hair was just so cool. His Quirk was strong as hell, and his personality made him popular with everybody; he was going to make such a perfect Hero, Katsuki knew it.
He never thought there'd come a day when he'd meet somebody that he considered an equal. A partner. There was nobody he'd rather have on his side, or to have his back.
But he still wanted more than what they had. He wanted Kiri to know.
He had to tell him - to his face - just how special he was. How important. How every minute they weren't together made him feel lost, empty, alone.
How could somebody as good as Eijiro ever feel the same way about him. He was intelligent enough to know that nobody was possible of feeling this way about him. He might be the next Number One Hero… but he wasn't good enough for Kirishima.