A/N: This is just a little Masha introspective something. And it's my first and probably going to be my only fic for this show. Wanna know more, read the postscript.
Spoilers: for everything up to and including 1x5 Sweet Surrender.
Disclaimer: I don't own this show, but I sure could use a spa treatment, and maybe even some micro-dosing, no just kidding, I don't condone illegal drugs. This took a turn, let's just say I own nothing.
She was looking at the monitors, like she'd done many times before. Each of the little boxes in the dark room illuminating a separate truth revealed just for her. What was it with these nine perfect strangers? She'd felt it from the very beginning, the different energy within this group. Could it be that it was the first group she'd done after the "incident"? Maybe it was the treats that got to her. Shifted her centered focus. Or the fact that one amongst them was an investigative journalist hell bend on exposing her. All she knew was something was off.
She had spent hours selecting each one, studied their backgrounds, their trauma, getting to know them beforehand, getting inside their heads. She wanted to be prepared for anything. But was that possible? They'd already uncovered that she'd been micro-dosing them, and that had been way faster than she'd anticipated. She'd upped the dosage a little too early maybe, and there might have been a stint of revenge in her doing so also. She didn't want to be outsmarted, but they had peaked behind the curtain too soon. So, she'd moved the process along, to see how superior they'd be then. She was supposed to be the calm and collected one, so she told herself that this was the only logical next step in the process.
She watched them religiously now, almost like a favorite show. Watched as they moved from one screen to the next. Or stayed put for hours in the same little square. Watched them as they interacted with each other. Making a mental note on adding microphones before the next group. Studying their body language at the same time. Tranquillum was indeed not only practicing micro-dosing but also micro-expressions. Experience told her that people were always quick to dismiss the small things. But in fact, you could learn a lot about another person from carefully observing them. The big picture of life often consisted of a lot of small moments; people you loved, experiences that had entrenched themselves into your being. All these little pieces were important, they all played a part, you couldn't just neglect one or more, or hide them away and present your life puzzle as being whole. We are all the sum of our experiences.
She had learned a lot about people even before Tranquillum. She had been a shark in her time. Going after what she wanted, and getting it. But back then she had exploited her gifts. Her intuition about people had been used to getting her way, now she used them to help. To expel other people's demons. To cleanse their bodies of the guilt, shame and sorrow they carried around. She herself had been cleansed by death, but not everyone had that privilege. A mere touch had brought back the innocent little girl she'd once been, before ambition set in, and greed took a hold on her. She had carried this virtue back with her to the land of the living. But life was corrupting, and the longer she stayed the more she felt herself slip. So, she meditated.
She recognized bits and pieces of herself in these people as she watched them unfold. She too had been angry, filled with rage and regret. Stressed and burdened, unable to let go of either. Her new found purity was freedom, but it had to be managed, taken care of, or else... she might end up where she started. And a bullet through the heart was not pleasant, not in the least.
That's why she had Yao and Delilah. They were her checks and balances, so to speak. A lot of the staff had been former guests that wanted to pay their new found peace forward, and she let them. But Yao had been there from the very beginning, he was the reason she was alive today. He'd held her bleeding heart between his hands, kept it beating and made sure she got stitched back together again. It was a bit like having her own personal guardian angel with her at all times. It gave her peace.
And that was all she ever wanted for all these lost souls that currently filled her world and her monitors. She was going to figure them out. And give them what they came here for. Not spa and leisure, not a fancy retreat or an escape from reality, but equilibrium and tranquility.
A/N: Well, that was a short fic, and I wrote it really fast, because I had to get it uploaded today. And I know I'm out of practice, but I hope you still like it.
If you don't know me/my writing you can just skip the rest. It's my 10-year fic-versary (anniversary) today, I haven't been writing for a while, because you know real life... but I'm currently watching this show, so I thought I'd just make a tiny little fic for today. And man, it felt good to be writing again. I really miss it.