Thanks everyone for the reviews, and sticking around through all the chapters. This has been my biggest undertaking by far and I'm truly enjoying it, I hope all of you are as well.
As the Black Hawk lifted off the ground, I couldn't keep my head turned out the window. Knowing there were charges in place to detonate and destroy everything and everyone, including Winter and MSgt Torres was too much. Letting my chin rest on my chest I let my eyes close, hoping perhaps I would wake up and all of this insanity was just an extremely horrendous nightmare. However, the nightmare didn't seem to want to end as the helo dipped dangerously to the left and my stomach was in my throat. All I could think was HYDRA somehow managed to reel me back in. As two bodies jumped through the opening where a door would have been on a commercial helicopter, I stared wide eyed half expecting to be attacked by Agent Rumlow or some other Hydra agent.
"Get us out of here!" The voice belonged to MSgt Torres, who untangled himself from the other person that had landed in a heap with him. Torres stood and tried to brush who knows what off of his uniform. The other person groaned as they slowly pulled themselves into a sitting position right there on the floor.
"ребенок…" It was Winter. He looked like the tussle with Rumlow had left him a bit worn down and beat up, but he was here. Literally right in front of me where I could get a closer look at him, closer than through the optic of my rifle the other night in Louisiana. He looked almost nothing like the man from the memories and videos, which were starting to run together in a chaotic jumble in my head. I was unsure what I remembered and what I had seen on video. His hair was short, and there were plenty of greys throughout. He no longer had a mask covering his face, but a full beard. His skin was beginning to wrinkle, which was fitting with the 20 year timeframe between the memories and now. And his arm was no longer shiny silver metal, the red star that had been prominent on his shoulder was gone. Now his left arm was the same dark metal as my own. Those eyes, the blue grey staring at me no longer cool and calculating, but they glistened with…tears? Winter continued to sit there, looking at me. The harness of the seat was the only thing holding me upright. Flexing my joints, I checked to see if my body had burnt through any more of the paralytic. Slowly my fingers moved, but that was about all I had going for me. My legs twitched, but the pain from the healing broken bones had me attempting to stop the movement in my lower extremities.
"Captain Barnes," A hand on my arm caused me to stiffen what muscles I did have control of quickly. I had barely heard the utterance of the name over the rush of air and rotor noise throughout the aircraft. MSgt Torres was standing beside me. "Once we land we will get you taken care of." He glanced down at his watch. "About forty-five minutes, sir."
"Is…is he with us?" I heard Torres's voice questioning Winter. Letting my eyes close and open again, I hadn't realized I had fixed my gaze during the flight and hadn't moved. We had landed and both men were watching me closely.
"Just zoned out." Winter patted my leg as he stood and gave me a small, brief smile. "Kid, we're going to get a doc to take a look at you. Get that muzzle off your face and get you taken care of." I shook my head, fear building in my gut as I thought of Dr. Zola.
"No…doc…" I spoke against the mask and Winter's face softened. MSgt Torres looked confused.
"Cap, you really need to…" Winter gave Torres a sharp shake of his head and the Airman stopped speaking.
"Alright kid, no doctors. But we're going to get you inside and I'll see what I can do to patch you up." Winter kept his eyes on me. "Can we do that?" I looked from him to Torres and back to him before giving a slow nod. "Good job, ребенок." Winter began to unfasten the harness of the seat. "Have any movement back?" I looked down at my fingers and moved them. "Legs still healing?" He looked down at the wounds that Zola had at least wrapped on my legs. I gave him a nod. He turned to look at Torres. "Can you go find us a wheelchair?" Torres nodded and hurried out of the helo. "He's a good guy, he's grown on me." I narrowed my eyes at him, so many questions I wanted to ask, but this fucking muzzle. "Here, let me take a look at it." His tone was soft and as frightened as I was that he would set the damn thing off, I leaned my head forward to let him get a look at it. "Damn, they really are outdoing themselves. But I think I just…" I braced for the electric surge. "Got it." Opening my eyes slowly I saw the muzzle in Winter's metal hand. "They've stepped up their keeping you quiet game. What does this do?" He was eyeing it carefully.
"Shock…" I cleared my throat and flexed my jaw, thankful to have it gone. "Right into the nerves at the base of my skull…if you try to remove it, or if they…" I felt slightly panicked as I talked to him, knowing I wasn't supposed to.
"It's okay, breathe. They're not here. I'm here and I will not let them get you kid. I will burn every single sleeper cell to the ground." The anger that washed over his face was much different than the stoic look I remembered him wearing. Looking at him reminded me…
"Samuel Wilson…is he…did I…" Winter gave a very small smile, perhaps to console me.
"He's very much alive. You didn't kill him. But he'll still be in the hospital for a while." I didn't like that answer. The man didn't deserve to be in a hospital, and I had put him there.
"You," He pointed at me. "You didn't do that. HYDRA did that."
"You say that like we're two different entities. They've always had me, I've always been with them…" I muttered, my eyes set on my bare feet. My clothes were filthy, my sweatpants and t-shirt coated in dirt.
"There are memories locked away in there that will tell you otherwise, kid." I looked up to see Winter's face softened, tears in his eyes.
"I thought you were dead." HYDRA had definitely alluded to it through my reconditioning, until I saw him on the mission. He had a sadness in his eyes as he looked at me. "I was your replacement and they…they said you were gone."
"That's becoming a far too regular thing…" He said the words, but in my current state of confusion, I didn't understand the meaning behind it.
"Got the chair!" Torres stuck his head in the door, his voice peppy and extremely unnecessarily loud. I looked at Winter, who smirked in response to whatever look was currently on my face.
"He'll grow on you. He can't help it. He's a happy guy." Winter chuckled as he explained it.
"Happy?" Even saying the word was foreign. Winter gave my shoulder a slight squeeze as he helped me up.
"We'll work on it, kid. You and me."
"Those bullet wounds in your legs could use some real medical attention." Winter had finished cleaning the wounds and had helped me change into fresh clothes. "The one in your shoulder looks to be healing well. And you need fluids and food. When did you eat last?" Picking at a loose thread on the hem of the brown t-shirt I had on, I gave him a slight shrug. "Need you to talk to me ребенок. You have to tell me what you know." I sat a little straighter on the cot they moved me to. MSgt Torres had left to give us the room, which I appreciated.
"I don't feel like I know anything." Sighing I saw Winter's forehead crease with frustration. "I know you trained me when I was a kid. I know that fucking chair takes whatever I manage to piece together and wipes it clear of my mind. I know HYDRA is the bad guys, realized that when I saw you come to Samuel Wilson's aid. Then I tried to get away and was shot in my legs for my efforts. They didn't get to wipe me after the mission yet, the injuries were too severe. Small miracles right?" My jaw clenched in frustration because I wanted to tell him more, but I had nothing else. "But about food…I probably had something prior to the mission. Usually two of those brown liquid things…the ones that taste like dirt."
"Protein shakes." Winter added and I shrugged.
"Whatever, they're horrible. Zola gave me fluids after the mission…and more fucking blue stuff…and a bunch of drugs. I think most of the drugs have been burnt out of my system."
"More serum?" Winter looked shocked, giving me another once over.
"Yea, he said way too much when I asked about it. Sounded like an upgrade? At least that's what I called it. The asshole didn't appreciate that." He chuckled as I explained it.
"The wipes sure didn't affect your vocabulary." There was relief on his face as he just stared at me.
"So you're my father?" The staring was getting awkward and I didn't have much else to say. My statement startled him out of his locked in stare.
"Excuse me?" His stare turned to a look of shock. "Did you remember that?" I was my turn to laugh.
"Did I remember? That's funny." It felt normal to roll my eyes, not that normal was something that I understood either. "I think Rumlow was the one that mentioned it first. It's been something rolling around in the empty cavern that is my head ever since. I guess he said it assuming I'd be put in the chair and wouldn't remember him telling me." Winter shifted uncomfortably in the chair across from me.
"Yea kid, I'm your dad." The words held disappointment.
"I'm supposed to know that aren't I?" I couldn't look him in the face as I asked the question, feeling like I took a punch in the gut realizing adult me and free from HYDRA Winter had had a father and son relationship. Thinking back to the photo of the two of us at some sporting event I had to sigh. There was a whole life I didn't recall and who knew if or when it would come back.
"Honestly, I'm glad you know what you do and that your 'stellar' personality is still intact Lance." Winter cleared his throat as he used my actual name.
"You pick that out? The name? When I was free from Hydra…the first time?" Looking down at my hands as I talked, I wished I felt more comfortable talking to people and of all people I was the most comfortable with Winter…Dad. But discussing stuff like this felt foreign, it felt wrong. Dad didn't respond right away, so I looked back up at him and this time the tears in his eyes were coming down his face. "I apologize…" I stuttered, the show of emotion catching me off guard. "I didn't mean to…" What had I done to cause this. "Whatever I did or said, I apologize. Just, just trying to put the pieces together. The beginning makes sense from a chronological stand point…I just…" I ran a hand over my face and heard him start to chuckle a bit. "Fuck…" I muttered and looked at the older man with tears still on his cheeks but a small smile on his face.
"It's not you…you did nothing wrong kid." He took a deep breath before getting to his feet. "There's just a lot to catch you up on. The most important thing to know is I'm with you til the end of the line." Something sparked with his comment, but there was no context, no memory with it, just a twinge in my brain that notified me that I SHOULD know what the hell that meant. "You need to eat. A proper meal and get some electrolytes in you. Go ahead and rest, you're safe here. And I will be back with food." He addressed the panic in my eyes as quickly as it hit me. "I can even see about finding something to give you to calm you down a bit?" Dad made the offer, but I instantly shook my head.
"No drugs." Shifting my position on the cot, I grabbed the blanket and rolled it up to place under my head. "I'll be fine, right here. Because you're coming back. No one else right? You." He nodded and stepped towards me to ruffle my hair.
"Just me kid. You're stuck with me…" The touch of his hand in my hair was comforting and not an off putting touch.
"Til the end of the line…" I knew I had used it properly when he gave me a smile.
"You know it. Now rest and I'll be back before you know it."