Author's note: Originally posted on Archive of Our Own on October 5th, 2019 as a gift for Fandom Growth Exchange.
Content notice: Contains nobles being classist (water being wet), off-screen violence, implied/referenced child abuse (not from any tagged characters), and the general anti-Lumen sentiment of a playthrough with a low magic reputation.
Any and all reviews are welcome, including critique.
When he and Corisande had decided to go through with their divorce, they fought over where their children would live. Corisande argued that Briony needed to live in Mead because she was her heir, Ignatius argued that Noll needed to live in Ursul because he was his heir, and they both argued that they shouldn't split them up more than was necessary (or that they already had).
So, Ignatius had asked his children if they wanted to come live with him in Ursul.
"Live in Ursul? I'm going to be Duchess of Mead, Father," Briony had said. "I have to live in the place I'm going to rule someday. And I just got home!"
Ignatius thought he should have expected as much, though he thought Briony's obvious distress at learning the truth about why she was made to stay at school would make her likely to want to spend the majority of her time away from Mead. Of course his daughter would want to stay home if she was intending to go to the Old Forest to get their attention (only talked out of it by the Queen - he supposed that was yet another thing he had to be grateful to her for).
And Noll had said "But I just got home..."
His son had been spending time off and on with relatives in Kigal and Lillah while things had been strained between him and Corisande. He was still too young to know the whole truth behind the divorce, so there was nothing he'd want to avoid in Mead. A young boy would want to be home with his mother, even if he was now the heir of his father's new lands.
At least he had been able to convince them to come visit him now that things were settled. They had been here for a couple of days, primarily having stayed in the castle so far. They were taking breakfast at the moment, Noll picking at his eggs, and Briony looking through a book on magic she had found in the old archives, her food untouched.
Briony slammed the book shut and sighed. Making a face, she put her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her hand.
"Briony, I know it's just a casual breakfast between the three of us, but try to not get in the habit of doing that at the table-"
"This one's all theory," she said, completely ignoring him. "Advanced theory, the sort of thing you'd have to have basic knowledge of what handling a crystal is actually like to even begin to understand."
"Oh, I know. My father had me read that same book when I was a young man. It's not the most accessible text."
"Yeah, but at least you had some experience around magic!" she said as she pushed herself upright. And before Ignatius could respond, she spoke again. "But forget that. I want to know: what's going on with you and Elodie?"
Ignatius had been dreading this question. "Her Majesty has asked me for my input on certain things regarding the duchy and national security."
"People are saying you're getting married!"
"You can't believe everything people say, Briony."
"So, you don't want to marry her?"
Ignatius really didn't. From what he could tell, she had grown into a nice young woman and a promising queen, but she still was younger than his own daughter. And besides, when he had divorced Corisande, he swore he would never marry again. Nothing was worth the heartache, the betrayal, the shame that your wife would prefer someone else's touch over his own (and that someone else was her own brother)…
At the same time, there was no appropriate way to reject the Queen. She had done so much for him. She was the reason that he was able to escape his marriage (and, he reminded himself again, the reason that his daughter was able to interrogate him about their relationship right now)…
"I want what's most appropriate for the domain, and for our Queen. Someday she will find an appropriate consort, and until then I am willing to offer her my support."
Briony sighed again. "You're always like this." And before he could ask what she meant by that, she continued. "I can't believe she's doing this," Briony said. "I didn't tell her that you and Mother were getting divorced so she could add you to her list of potential suitors! I mean, she's younger than me!"
"She has plenty of suitors closer in age vying for her attention. In time, the situation will sort itself out." Looking for a way to change the subject, Ignatius turned over to his son, who was still picking at his eggs. At least he hadn't been paying attention to their conversation. "Noll," he said with a smile, "Why don't we go down into town today? I can show you the mills where most of Nova's paper is made, and later the three of us can go out into the countryside."
Noll continued staring into his eggs for another few seconds, then slowly came to attention. "...Huh? Oh, I guess."
Ignatius's smile faltered.
To be honest, Ignatius still wasn't sure what to make of the fact that the Queen had expressed interest in making him her consort. To be honest, Ignatius didn't know what to make of the Queen herself. He had met her once during her minority, and that was the first time he had spoken with her. Her mother and father kept her sheltered from official court life and although her late mother still seemed to regard him warmly as a childhood friend, the fact was that he no longer ran in Fidelia's social circles as much. Most of the people he knew while he was married were people he knew through his ex-in-laws and he had no real opportunity to get to know Fidelia's daughter.
To be honest, Ignatius thought the girl was a bit mad. First of all, she threw Julianna into prison. His sister was Queen Fidelia's staunchest ally and would gain little from the Queen's death. Anyone paying even the slightest amount of attention would understand this. She hadn't even been near the castle when the news came that the old queen was dead, being in Mead discussing the issue of heirs with him and Corisande. And yet, within minutes of his sister arriving at the castle, the young princess had declared her a traitor and thrown her into the castle dungeons. Whether the Princess Elodie was overly influenced by her father's disdain for magic or not, she seemed too gleeful in stripping Julianna of her titles and giving them to Ignatius. Aside from that, there was the matter of immediately trying to intimidate the Ixionites out of Imbrium with bloody results, and then the dancing with Arisse at the ball (and not dancing well)...
But now? Well...Ignatius would still call her mad, but perhaps a mad genius? How else in the world could someone not only come up with the idea of singing to an invading leader, but also having it work? Certainly the King-Consort of Shanjia had been a musician, long ago before he married his way into power, but using the power of music to get through to him was a long shot and only for someone truly skilled. Apparently she was truly skilled, and not only had the war come to a bloodless end, but Nova now had a strong relationship with its former aggressor. Trade was flourishing.
And that was good, because Nova's relations with some of its neighbors were not as strong. Things with Talasse may have been as cordial as they had ever been, but Ixion was in no mood for positive diplomatic relations after the battle over Imbrium. And Tombula was still hostile. Ignatius knew too well that the Ursulian County of Sycorax shared the most vulnerable border in Nova with the domain. The Countess had been in contact with him almost immediately from the moment he received his title, and he had put many of his agents on the lookout for any suspicious activity. Over and over again, they reported hearing the same topic come up: Julianna. Where was she? Was she still alive? If something were to happen to Ursul, would she reappear with her magic to protect Nova? No one seemed to know, and neither did Ignatius.
That was the matter that Ignatius thought the queen had summoned him to speak with the first time he had been summoned to her presence. The border was, actually, one of the reasons.
"You are the ruler of Ursul, which contains our most vulnerable border with the Tombulans," she said. "I know you have spent many of the last years in Mead, but you still possess a more thorough view of the issue than many. What is your opinion on the matter? Do you think there might be a way to come to an understanding with their leaders?"
"In my honest opinion? I don't," he answered. "The ways the modern Tombulan government thinks is very different from our own. They do not think the nobility as the guiding hand that we are, only as their oppressors, who wish to make ourselves wealthier at their expense. They will undoubtedly see us as trying to take advantage of them, or as trying to reinstate what's left of their royal family. Our views of the world are too different to come to a mutual understanding, I believe."
The queen sighed. "I appreciate your input," she said. "Avoiding unnecessary bloodshed would be my first preference. After all, we have been able to come to agreements with nations who have priorities far different than our own in the past."
If she meant Shanjia, Ignatius wanted to say that the average Lumen was more similar to the average non-Lumen than the queen realized. He also wanted to say that, even if that weren't true, Shanjia was still a nation that hadn't discarded its nobility, so at the very least the two domains could understand each other on a level that Nova and Tombula could no longer do. But he kept silent.
"Still," she continued, "I understand that sometimes we have no choice but to fight. Regardless, Nova will be ready to handle the situation, however it develops. Your Grace, I would like to run one possibility by you, if you're willing to listen."
"Certainly," he said.
The Queen called for her maid, who returned a few minutes later with a small package. She set the package down in front of Ignatius and left the room.
Ignatius eyed the package carefully, but the Queen urged him to open it. He slowly undid the bright ribbon, removed the colorful paper, and opened the small box. Inside was another box made of mahogany. Ignatius opened that and a melody began to play.
Ignatius felt his heart drop into his stomach. It was an old love song.
"A union between us might cause those intending to cause trouble to think twice."
He was trying to find a response that wasn't disrespectful, but it was difficult when every fiber of him was screaming to reply with "are you nuts?!"
"Are you okay, Your Grace?" she finally said, after what must have been minutes.
"You are younger than my own daughter..." The words came out flat, without emotion.
"Yes, I know," she said.
"I am older than your father..."
"Er, yes. But isn't it good to have partners and advisors with experience, especially given my youth?"
"Your youth-" Ignatius stopped himself. He would not continue this thought. Continuing this thought would be a grave insult against the queen. "Yes, yes, that is sound reasoning." It was, actually. "And, as such, I am more than willing to stand by you and offer any sort of advice, support, or companionship you may need. But… I'm terribly sorry, Your Majesty. I simply cannot think of marriage at this time." He closed the music box. "I've been divorced for not even a year, and between that and managing Ursul..."
She nodded. "I understand."
Ignatius doubted whether she really could understand but held his tongue. "Please understand that my loyalty towards you is unwavering. You do not have to marry me to ensure that."
"I know. It's not about ensuring loyalty. It's about building a relationship that helps the both of us." Then, she added: "It's up to you, of course. Take your time in considering my offer."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"I will have to take you up on your offer to come around again, though. The situation with Tombula isn't going away any time soon. Would that be acceptable?"
Ignatius replied that it was. And that was how they had left it.
Ignatius's agents had reported something else interesting back to him. While the many in the north who could put two and two together about just what caused those freak storms and quakes that caused the Tombulans to turn back from their invasion years ago were nervous, more people were willing to say that they were glad that they had a ruler who wanted nothing to do with magic. The people of Ursul had a more realistic understanding of Lumen magic, having been ruled by them for centuries without experiencing the rumored mass abductions for blood sacrifice that was the popular perception in most other duchies, so this was a slight surprise to Ignatius. Then again, stories of the devastation wreaked by the Lumen King of Shanjia had spread far and wide.
At least he hadn't heard any reports of anyone suspected of having a crystal being ripped apart in Ursul like in other duchies. What would he do if that happened here? What could he do? Make sure that the officials at the local level were doing their part in punishing the wrongdoers? That was all he could do, he supposed. The people of Ursul would eventually forget what magic was like when they were without a Lumen ruler, but there was no crystal he could take. And even if there were, he wouldn't.
Briony, however, was not of the same opinion.
"What are you going to do about a crystal?" she asked him, while they were out in the countryside. She was laying on her back on a grassy hill.
"Pardon?"
"Ursul is supposed to have a crystal, but Julianna took it with her when she escaped the dungeons. What are you going to do?"
Ignatius paused. "Briony...times are different. The Queen rejected her own crystal for the first time in centuries. Ursul doesn't have the same role anymore."
She turned over and looked at him. "So when you go see..." she made a face, "Elodie again, you're not going to talk to her about that?"
What could he possibly say to her? "I wouldn't see what good it would do."
Briony pushed herself up. "I mean, the ruler of Nova always has a crystal. It's how we're supposed to stay safe if someone else attacks us with magic. Like that Lumen King of Shanjia. I mean, sure she was able to find a way around fighting that time, but what if she can't the next? Then what are we going to do?"
Ignatius wasn't sure himself. "That's up to the Queen."
"And if she had a crystal, she might be able to get us through the Old Forest. There are probably a lot of them left in the Old Palace, so she could get you one."
Again with the Old Forest? She can't possibly be serious!
"If you still don't want one, then Noll or I could-"
"Briony," he said, sternly. "The life of a Lumen is unbearable - you will be hated and feared all your life. And no matter what you do, no matter how benevolent you are, that will never change."
He had been Briony's age exactly when he had rejected the life of a Lumen. Or rather, when the path of rejecting a Lumen had been set in stone for him. When he was that age, his father had caught word of what he had been telling his schoolmates, come directly to school, and told him outright that he better find someone else that would take his pathetic and cowardly self in, because it certainly wouldn't be him. It was horrible but, until he had become trapped in his marriage, it had been worth it. He no longer had reason to fear his schoolmates; instead they came out of the woodwork to tell them they supported him. For once, an heir of Ursul had been brave enough to reject the allure of magic's power, free of the stain of disloyalty that had plagued the House ever since Duke Augustus refused to do his part and sacrifice his life and crystal to aid the Crown in destroying the Doomshadow. In actuality, if anyone other than his father and sister understood at all the situation, he felt they would know that the person who was really cowardly and disloyal was him.
His stomach tightened and Ignatius put his hand on his daughter's shoulder. "I tell you this for your own good, Briony."
Briony scoffed. "I'd be a Duchess, Father. No one could-"
"You don't understand. When Julianna left Ursul, it was not uncommon for her to be pelted with rotten vegetables. This was done despite both her being a Duchess and having the support of the queen. You would not have the support of the queen, and people are even more hostile to Lumens now than they were when Julianna was in power. Haven't you heard what's been happening to people thought to be Lumens in the other provinces? Besides, the Queen won't give you a crystal. And-" he started when Briony opened her mouth," you don't need to go looking for one yourself! You'd die if you went to the Old Forest, or anywhere else that might still have an old crystal!"
Briony scowled and turned away with a "hmph!"
Why is she still like this? Ignatius thought. She's an adult; she should be acting like one.
The dark, furious face of his father on that day flashed in Ignatius's mind, and he immediately felt terrible. No, if there's a reason Briony's still so immature, it's because I failed her. I wasn't there for her or her brother for so many years.
He put his arm around her. She squirmed.
"Darling," he said, much softer, "I'm sorry. I just want you to be safe."
"I'm an adult, Father. I can make my own decisions."
"I know you can. I just want to make sure you understand."
She didn't respond to that. A few minutes later, Noll came back over from where he had been and the rest of the evening passed without major incident, just Briony giving him the cold shoulder. It was the same for the rest of the visit.
As much as he didn't want to deal with his ex-wife, he figured he should send a message about what Briony had told him so that Corisande could have her agents keeping a close watch on their daughter. He certainly would.
Things had gotten hairier. There were no reports of soldiers on the border, but Ignatius's agents had told him there was a campaign drive in Tombula. Something about the "liberation of people worldwide". Between that and the reports of what kinds of materials the government was said to have been stocking up on, it was clear what their intentions were. Queen Elodie had been recruiting more soldiers, but it would take time for the Novan army to reach the numbers had before the Shanjian invasion. Ignatius didn't even have to inquire: it was obvious to everyone.
"We were very fortunate the last time we had this issue," the Queen told him, troubled, "that natural disasters managed to incapacitate Tombulan forces. I am as faithful as anyone else in Nova, but we can't guarantee the gods will show favor on us a second time."
Especially since the people who made those disasters happen are no longer here, Ignatius thought.
He must have had some sign of what he was thinking on his face, because the Queen then asked him, "What's on your mind? Do you know something?"
Ignatius started. This wasn't the conversation he wanted to have, but she was looking at him with great interest. He didn't know what else he could say.
"My Queen," he said. "I understand you were very young when the last conflict between Nova and Tombula took place. Do you remember much about it?"
"I don't," admitted Elodie. "But the reports state that the Tombulans were driven back by quakes and powerful storms."
Ignatius took a deep breath. "The royal crystal cannot call proper "storms", but its powers of light could emulate a lightning storm. As for the quakes...Ursul's crystal is tied to the earth."
She blinked. "You're saying my mother and Julianna used magic to drive them away?"
"I wasn't in your mother's confidence, but…that is the impression I got."
Her face darkened, and for a moment Ignatius thought he recognized the young princess that he had met before her coronation. "So you're saying that I should take the crystal."
"I am only letting you know what has happened in the past! There is no one way to deal with a problem and times are different now. If you wanted to take the crystal, the castle priestesses would be the best equipped to guide you, but I can support you with what I know. If you wanted to deal with them only through military or economic sanctions, I am here to support you just as much. I am not tied to the idea of using magic."
"No… No, I don't suppose you are. Forgive me, Your Grace, if I seemed overly hostile. Magic is still a rather raw subject." She brightened. "Let's talk about lighter matters. How is Briony? I haven't seen her in ages."
Though relieved, Ignatius wanted to say that the matter of his daughter wasn't much lighter at the moment. "She spends most of her time in Mead, so I haven't seen much of her myself."
"What about your son?"
"The same."
"They don't write to you?"
Ignatius sighed, "My son occasionally does, but he's pretty adamant about staying in Mead for the time being."
"Briony doesn't?"
Ignatius could only figure she was still upset with him regarding the conversation they had had in Ursul. He wasn't sure if he should tell the Queen about this, but at the same time he wasn't sure who to talk to. There was Corisande, who actually was likely to take his side on this one, but he both doubted how much that would help anyone.
So, he relayed a shortened version of the conversation to her. About how Briony had some ideas but didn't really understand what she was saying.
"Oh." It was quick and it was slight, but he noticed her draw back a bit, as if she thought that had been a poor idea.
"Your Majesty?"
"Oh, no, it's nothing." She turned a little pink. "Well, we talked when she was in the castle those years ago. Do you...want to hear my thoughts on her?"
At this point, what could he lose? A peer might understand her better than he did. "I would."
"The impression I got from Briony from the time we spent together was that she was very intent on being taken seriously. Her way of expressing herself is...a little different, but she talked about you and her mother, and the pride she wanted to instill in you both. You're very important to her."
When Corisande was expecting Briony, he told himself over and over that he would never make any child of his feel the way his father had made him feel. He supposed he let himself off too easy because he never told Briony he was unsuited for the duchy she was going to inherit, or yelled at her… He supposed there were other ways he could have made her feel small and insignificant even without resorting to the things his father did. Now Ignatius felt even worse.
"All right," he said. He sighed. "Well, I cannot soften my position on her going to the Old Forest."
"Oh," said the Queen. "She still wants to go?"
"I think the possibility is on her mind."
Queen Elodie looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'm not against the idea of reconquering the old capital," she finally said, "but it would be something that would take a lot of our resources - ones that might be best spent elsewhere right now. If she's up for it, I have no qualms with having her be part of the process, since..." she looked very grave, "we can't keep letting Novans be killed by the creatures that live there."
"What has your fath- What has the Duke of Caloris said? Ah, I only mean-" Ignatius added hurriedly, " it's his duchy, and the House of Caloris is usually well-versed in the lore of the past, and he might have some insights."
"We've discussed the matter. I can't say anymore at this time."
Ignatius nodded. He didn't know the King-Dowager well, but he seemed to be a typical member of his house in his (admittedly well-founded) mistrust of magic. He had been too young to be at school at the time when Ignatius was still Lord Ursul, but he and his mother had still given him the cold shoulder at official events and had only acknowledged him after he had been disowned and engaged to Corisande. He father might be difficult to convince if the Queen wanted to challenge the status quo.
After a minute, the Queen said "You can tell Briony I said that, by the way. About wanting her for any campaign we might have to tackle the Old Forest, I mean. I can't promise her there will be a campaign, let alone the kind of one she's probably imagining, but I'm definitely considering it."
Ignatius wasn't sure if he felt better about that suggestion or not.
"I just think focusing on a potential official campaign might cause her to focus on training herself and discourage her from making ill-advised attempts on her own. And..." she smiled. "A recommendation from you to me will make her think that you think highly of her."
Ignatius had to admit that her logic was sound. "I think you're right, Your Majesty."
"Good." She took a sip of her tea, then suddenly put down the cup and added "just so we're clear, this is a separate issue from what we're working on. I'd want the best possible people for something like that, so as long as she's loyal and competent, she will have a place."
Ignatius smiled. "I understand. Thank you, Your Majesty."
"You're quite welcome." The small clock in the room chimed. "It's already five…I know you're probably busy, but we are having a performance tonight. Are you sure you don't want to come? It's scheduled in just another hour."
"I..." Ignatius thought for a moment. "I think I could make time."
She smiled at him and, to his surprise, Ignatius felt his heart skip a beat.
Corisande, however, was not terribly enthused with the suggestion.
...May I remind you our daughter could have been easily KILLED if she had actually gone to Old Forest? Why you and Her Majesty would want to encourage her, I don't understand...
The rest of her letter was similarly chilly. As much as he could understand her frustration, Ignatius wasn't sure how to respond. He didn't think she'd be won over by the Queen's explanation.
Briony's letters had been much warmer. He was still going to keep an eye out to make sure she wasn't doing anything reckless, but at least she was talking to him again. And she seemed so excited, it was hard not to feel happy for her. He just hoped there would be a campaign in the future, one where she could stay safe.
As for the Queen, Ignatius found that he enjoyed spending time with her away from official matters. That night there was a classically trained singer from Elath at the castle to perform, and afterwards the singer came to meet with the Queen's private party, and there they had sung together. Like the rest of the domain, Ignatius knew of the queen's beautiful voice, but this was the first time he had heard it. He was immediately enchanted. It was no wonder that the King of Shanjia was swayed by her.
When Ignatius received another invitation from the Queen, he felt excited. But the coded message gave him pause:
Please come. I want to discuss our other option.
"Welcome to being a Lumen," his father had said. "For your entire life you will be feared and hated for the power you have, for having the gall to support your queen when the domain is in danger, for having the gall to ensure that her command over the power that will protect our domain is at the strongest and safest it can be. This is the burden you were born to bear. If you cannot accept this, you're not fit to rule Ursul."
The last time Ignatius had seen the royal crystal this close was many years ago, when Queen Ladesh used her magic to summon it from her breast. Like with any Lumen crystal that had been attuned to a user, Ignatius was not sure if a summoned crystal was actually solid but would dissolve if someone tried to touch it, or just an image projected of what the crystal looked like. Either way, now the royal crystal sat solidly, heavily, in the hands of Ladesh's granddaughter.
The young queen was doing her best to keep herself looking neutral but, being this close, Ignatius could see the slight tells in her body language that revealed her discomfort: the tightening of her jaw, only broken by a quick, slight chewing of her lip; the barely visible movement of toes in her shoes…
"I can't," she said. She set the crystal back in the box and snapped it shut. "I won't. Take it away. Put it back in the vault. I never want to see it again."
Slowly, the priestess picked up the box, covered it in the shroud, and left the room.
Ignatius looked back over at the queen. Her composure was failing her. He could see her shaking, tears falling from her blue eyes.
"Forgive me, Your Grace," she said, "for bringing you back into this, the power you sought to get away from all those years ago."
He pulled out his handkerchief, stood up, walked over, and handed it to the her. Elodie looked at him for a minute, then gratefully accepted the handkerchief and dabbed her eyes with it.
"This is so...you shouldn't have to see me like this."
"If you need me to leave or to stay, I will do whatever you need."
"You...don't need to leave. Unless you want to."
In truth, Ignatius didn't.
"Yes, well, thank you," she said, later that afternoon, over tea. The clouds had parted, and the autumn sun hovered heavy and golden in the western sky. "I appreciate your patience and your good humor. You are always so very good regarding both."
Ignatius blushed. "I assure you, it wasn't a bother. I just prefer not to see my queen in such distress."
"Well..." She stopped, then turned to the maid. "Alice, please excuse us for a few minutes. Leave the tea kettle here."
The maid bowed, and then turned and left the room.
After waiting a few seconds after the door was shut, Elodie spoke again. "Well... It was an endeavor worth trying out. Still, we have many options on dealing with our 'Northern Problem'. And with Julianna of Ursul still on the loose, it wouldn't be wise to take a route that would make me more vulnerable."
Ignatius paused midway through bringing his cup to his lips. "Pardon?"
"The crystal would make me more vulnerable to her magical attacks," she repeated. "To hear my father tell the story, the crystal overwhelmed my mother, causing her heart to stop. It is my understanding that Lumens can pool their magic together in one user to grant them immense power. It would stand to reason that a method of one Lumen killing another might be overwhelming them with power." Elodie took a dainty bite of one of the chocolate biscuits on the table, swallowed, then continued. "Taking the Royal Crystal would be a way to put an end to some of our problems and defend Nova against others, but there still remain ways of protecting Nova that don't leave me vulnerable to any attacks by a rogue Lumen that gets too close."
Ignatius sat his cup down. She'd obviously learned more about Nova's Lore since the last time they had discussed the crystal, but the conclusions she was drawing were still so very far off from the truth.
"What are your thoughts, Your Grace?" she asked, clearly confused.
That's not right, were his thoughts. That is not the way in which Lumen Crystals work. Julianna could not have killed your mother in that way. But how to say this to his Queen, to the girl still so very clearly in mourning for her mother?
Ignatius closed his eyes and willed himself to take a sip of his tea before meeting Elodie's expectant gaze.
"Your impressions about Lumens pooling their powers together are correct," he began, slowly, deliberately. "Growing up in Ursul, I saw my father and Queen Ladesh combine their powers multiple times to achieve feats they could not do alone. I was always cautioned that I had to have absolute control over my powers whenever I joined with another, or else the consequences would be fatal.
"You'll just have to forgive me if seem a little surprised, Majesty. It's only that my father and my tutors made sure to impress on me that sharing powers was something exclusively voluntary and that Lumens had to be in close proximity to one another to share powers..."
He felt the sour bile pooling in his stomach, felt his heart beating so fast he thought it might burst out of his chest. But at this point, he had to keep going. He had said too much now, and hiding the truth was so unfair, to both of them...
"Your Majesty, my sister was in Mead at the time your mother died."
Elodie looked like the wind had been knocked out of her.
"In Mead?" she repeated.
"Yes." It was true: Julianna had paid them a secret visit on short notice. If the Queen could not confirm her location, that was why. It was incredibly inconvenient to have visitors and to have to play nice with Corisande, but Julianna wanted to talk about Ursul's succession. Certainly, she agreed with their father that Ignatius wasn't fit to be Duke of Ursul, but that shouldn't bar his children from inheriting if they had what it took.
"So…what you mean to say is…"
"What I mean to say is that I... I have reason to believe my sister had nothing to do with Queen Fidelia's death. The truth of the matter was that Julianna and your mother were close friends and always had been. Queen Fidelia was the House of Ursul's strongest ally. Removing her would do no favors for a house seen as suspicious by the rest of Nova unless her heir was guaranteed to be even friendlier."
"So why did my father…?"
"The House of Caloris," he explained, "has historically been opposed to magic, ever since all the Duchies but Ursul gave up their crystals and their lives over two hundred years ago. It is said that too many magic users in one place bring calamity and..." he sighed, rubbed his face, "that's not wrong. The reasons why are often misunderstood."
After a minute she said "…I see. I will consider what you've told me and look into it." Then: "...You came to me within weeks of your sister being imprisoned and did not make this argument then."
"I only said I was here to serve if she had displeased you-"
"But the reasons why she had displeased me were public knowledge by this point, were they not?" she pressed. "If a subject of the realm has information on a traitor, is not their responsibility to come forward with that information to their sovereign?"
He replied that it was. "I have no good excuse for why I failed in my duties, Your Majesty."
This time she kept her queenly composure, but even still he could see the hurt and anger burning in her eyes. But also, in her gaze, he thought he saw traces of a knowing pity.
Suddenly, he remembered something Briony had said ages ago. "I didn't tell her that you and Mother were getting divorced so she could add you to her list of potential suitors!" Did she tell her anything else about what she had learned when she came back home? Did Elodie know about his situation back in Mead?
Elodie closed her eyes and took in a deep breath through her nose. When he opened her eyes and spoke again, her voice was quiet, strained, and fragile.
"If Julianna didn't kill my mother...then who did?"
"...I don't know. I'm sorry." He wished he weren't being honest.
Elodie nodded and turned away from him. "Thank you. You may go."
Winter passed without a word from the Queen. Ignatius guessed that he should have expected as much. At least he hadn't heard word, official or otherwise, that she had decided he was the real traitor to the realm.
He had, however, heard the official proclamation that Julianna was no longer considered a suspect in Queen Fidelia's death and that all royal charges against her had been dropped. And then, in Northern Ursul, a small earthquake. It was near a place that had many natural quakes, so Ignatius wasn't sure what to make of it. His agents said that the Tombulans were seeing it as a sign, but with no further sign of Julianna, Ignatius couldn't know.
With the dawn of spring came the Festival of the Good Lady and the annual gala. He had a lot to be thankful for this year, truth be told. He was free from his marriage. He had lands of his own, and there hadn't been any sign that they were going to be taken away from him. His daughter was finally communicating with him again, and with any luck his son might do so, too. And Julianna was cleared, and the weight of having wronged her was off his shoulders. With his all relatively good fortune, he could bear an uncomfortable gala. He could bear further uncomfortable galas, further uncomfortable political meetings with the queen, an eventual uncomfortable royal wedding...
In time, he wouldn't have to bear anything. It wouldn't be uncomfortable; it would just be a fact of life. It wasn't unbearable – it was nothing like having to live with your own wife choosing her own brother over him. When he broke off his marriage in the first place, he had already decided that he wouldn't marry again. He would be keeping to his plan after all.
"Your Grace," she said, "may I have this dance?"
It took Ignatius a minute to realize what she was saying to him. Why would she want him as her dance partner? She couldn't possibly still enjoy his presence after what she learned about him.
Ignatius was brought back to reality by the weight of an entire ballroom's stares upon him. He meant to decline, but seeing again her outstretched hand, her sweet smile...
Ignatius stepped forward and put his hand in hers. As the band began to play, she put her other hand on his shoulder, and he put his on her waist.
They danced in silence for a minute. Ignatius could not find it in him to hold her gaze.
"Are you enjoying the ball?" she asked.
"Ah, yes," he replied. "Yes, it's wonderful. You'll forgive me if I'm a bit distracted this evening; it has nothing to do with the festivities..."
"What's on your mind?"
How to broach this subject, especially when the eyes of the court were all upon them, ears trying to hear any word that might be said? He couldn't help but glance aside to see that Briony was gaping at him.
The Queen must have noticed her too, because she said, "We can discuss this later in the evening, if you like. Away from prying eyes."
They met after the ball was over, in a side room.
"What's on your mind?" she asked again.
Ignatius thought about the various ways he could phrase his response, trying to find the most tactful way of phrasing. "I suppose I've been...I suppose I've been unsure of how to proceed after our last meeting."
The Queen's face became more serious. "I looked into what you said, and I determined that I agreed with your conclusions. Julianna of Ursul likely had no hand in the death of Queen Fidelia and I have pardoned her. Since she is the only known magic user in the domain, I will need to ask her questions regarding what she thinks of my mother's death, but she's no suspect."
Ignatius nodded. "I've heard."
Silence. Both he and the queen stared at each other for several seconds. One of them was supposed to say something, and Ignatius felt like he was going to burst with a thousand variations of the one question he wanted to ask, but none of them felt right for a Duke to address his Queen with.
Ignatius was about to excuse himself with a polite "I respect your mercy and wisdom. Thank you, Your Majesty" but the Queen spoke first.
"As far as our partnership is concerned..."
A weight dropped down Ignatius's throat and reached his toes, and he felt that he couldn't move even if he had wanted to.
"…I apologize for not being in contact these past few months. It was not appropriate, and I should have sent some sort of word, but I had some serious decisions to make. But I want you to know you're not in trouble from me."
She smirked. "After all, there's no sense in punishing someone loyal for being loyal, is there? Besides..." Her face softened. "You're clever - shrewd, even" Ignatius felt his face grow hot at this and it took all his willpower to keep from looking away from her, but the queen continued. "And yet you still wanted to do the right thing, even if it could cost you dearly."
"I wouldn't confuse the need to be free of guilt with being a genuinely good person-"
"Would a bad person have ever said anything? Or would they have worked their whole life to keep the other person in the dark, eliminating any threat to their secret, and only coming clean when their hand was forced?
"I understand there are shades of grey, Your Grace, but your actions over the past few years have shown more loyalty than not. I think loyalty – to someone who treats you right - is something that means a lot to you.
I'm sorry you don't get a lot of appreciation for those qualities, Ignatius, and whatever our relationship I don't want to be another person who makes feel like you're expendable. And I hope I never have. "
She was getting a little personal, but he couldn't help but respond.
"You haven't."
She nodded. "I'm glad. And... I want to ask: going forward, what kind of relationship is it that you want us to have?"
As this question washed over him, his heart began to race. He knew what he wanted to say. She's going to say no. You're so much older, such a coward-
No, he told himself. It wouldn't make sense for her to say all this and to turn you down. Just trust in her.
"I…think I'm ready to accept your suit."