At last, the long awaited next chapter! This was a fun one to write, as I wanted to delve more into how Lyra's inner thoughts are evolvoing over time, and how that's translating into how she interacts with Eren. I also want to post a warning here, as this chapter deals with thoughts and discussion of suicide, and more mature content. Just something to keep in mind when reading this is to consider where Lyra is, as she's been on her own for quite a while, and is constantly surrounded by danger. As always, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, as it will likely be a while before the next one is posted. I've been working on some more artwork and some commission work on the side, so some more art for this story may start popping up here and there as well.
In the dangerous abandoned territory of Wall Maria, certain necessities had turned into luxuries.
Bathing was one of them, as not only did it require a suitable pool of clean water, but also, to lower one's guard. Yet Lyra was at her breaking point–unable to withstand the caked dirt, blood, and sweat that clung to her skin any longer.
"I'm going down by the lake. Wait here." Surprisingly, Eren heeded the order, though he appeared more than reluctant to let her out of his sight. And narrowed eyes paired with an abrupt grunt only seemed to support her suspicions.
"I'll only be a few minutes." She reassured him, though it was more for her own benefit. Regardless of his size or even species–she still valued her privacy. "If you want to make yourself useful, go patrol the area." She suggested, already starting her walk. "Make sure nothing dangerous gets past you!"
While she didn't receive a reply, when her ears failed to pick up the sound of thundering footsteps the further away she got, a sigh of relief escaped her lips. At least now I can bathe in peace for a few minutes…
It took less than ten minutes for her to reach the small body of water. While not impressive in terms of size or wild game, the abnormally clear water could at least serve one useful purpose whenever the need for cleanliness arose.
Setting her clothes down on a nearby rock, Lyra slowly waded through the cold waters, allowing her body to adjust to the change in temperature. A pleased sigh escaped her lips. Not only did it feel nice to no longer be caked in sweat and dirt, but the cold temperature provided temporary relief to any scrapes or cuts she had received over the past few days.
But she didn't indulge in it for long, and forcibly cut her enjoyment short. She was here for a specific purpose, and couldn't afford to remain outside the safety of her cove for too long. Thus she began her repeated ritual of rinsing and scrubbing.
Her hair had always proved to be difficult, as by this point, it was nearly down to her waist. She made a mental note to track down a pair of scissors the next time she was out hunting for supplies. Holding her breath, the teen dipped below the water's surface, allowing the cold liqud to rush through the oily and matted strands. She could hardly see anything apart from the rocky bottom and tall underwater leaves. But the bright sun above did reveal a few turtles and small fish moving around, much to her delight.
Exhaling through her nose, Lyra closed her eyes, allowing the water to carry her once more. This was one of the few places outside of her cove that she at least felt somewhat safe. She recalled several occasions in the past where she and Willow would not only seek out the lake to bathe in, but to also just have fun. Titans didn't fear water, but the further out they remained, the more difficult it was for any of the mindless beasts to get to them.
Her chest ached as the painful memories began flooding back. Keeping track of time was difficult, but judging by the shifts in temperature that she had experienced since her best friend's death, she assumed around three or four months had passed.
It was just the two of us against the world. For months we lived out here, hopping from place to place in hopes of eventually finding a safe place to call home.
And a safe place she found, though Willow had little time to enjoy it with her.
Suddenly, the water around her violently shifted, as something came crashing down next to her. Startled, she reflexively opened her mouth to scream, though all the action did was flood her mouth and lungs with suffocating water. Desperate for air she began to struggle, fighting against the churning current as she tried to claw her way to the surface. But–whether it was a spout of good or bad luck–something had wrapped around her torso and forcibly pulled her up and out of the cold depths.
Coughing, Lyra greedily took in mouthfuls of oxygen, dispelling the remaining water from her burning lungs. Dammit! What now?! Anger and confusion took priority over fear as her one peaceful moment was suddenly ripped away from her. Aware of the warm and almost scalding fingers around her bare torso, the brunette opened her eyes, glaring at the titan who had so rudely interrupted her. And that anger only escalated when she recognized the worried and equally angry eyes glaring back at her.
Is he really incapable of leaving me alone for more than twenty minutes?! "Why did you pull me out?!" She demanded, sick and tired of his apparent overprotective nature. "I was just swimming!"
Much to her shock, she was answered with a loud and bellowing roar to the face.
Reflexively she squinted her eyes shut, as the titan's hot breath forced her hair back. Sheer terror coursed through her veins. Though she suspected his response was simply his way of yelling at her, it also reminded her that Eren was still a titan, regardless of how human he acted. The fingers curled around her torso were capable of literally crushing her bones if she truly pissed him off.
It wasn't until her ears were left ringing from the silence that followed that she opened her eyes again, staring at the beast who had been both her savior and a ruthless killing machine on more than one occasion.
She was so terrified that she couldn't even speak.
The fierce anger slowly began to fade from those burning teal eyes as he took in her reaction. Realizing that his outburst had done more harm than good, Eren took a step back, as her fear now reflected on his own face. Quickly he stepped out of the water and lowered himself onto one knee, placing the drenched girl back on solid ground again.
As she was reminded of her lack of clothing, Lyra quickly tried to cover herself, frantically looking around for her clothes.
As if he knew that's what she was after, Eren reached behind him, grabbing the crumpled up pile of dirty fabric. And extending his hand towards her, he placed them at her feet, before swiftly turning around.
Blinking, it took Lyra a minute to process what had just happened. You pulled me out of the lake naked and now you want to give me privacy? She was more confused than anything else. But one thing that she was sure about was that she didn't want to continue to stand completely naked out in the open.
Hastily she pulled her clothes back on, squeezing the excess water from her tangled hair and drying herself off as best she could. Why did he pull me from the water? The brunette couldn't rid the question from her mind. I was perfectly fine. It's not like I was–
For a brief moment, her train of thought paused. It was still difficult for her to understand why Eren often acted the way he did, especially when it came to her own safety. It was almost like an impulse–a reflex for him to jump in and save her from any threat they came across. The theory floating around in her head was borderline absurd, but she couldn't dismiss it entirely.
She had to be sure.
Pulling on her last piece of clothing, Lyra took a step forward, hastily tucking her black tank top into her pants. "Eren?"
The titan's pointed ear twitched at the sound of her voice. Slowly he turned, glancing at her over his shoulder.
"Did you…" She swallowed, still debating on whether or not to even ask him. There was a chance he simply thought she was drowning. After all, she had nearly died the first time they met, and somehow he knew that the freezing waters posed a threat to her. But the anger that had followed when he saved her just now made her really think. Was there more to it? Was what she perceived as anger really anger?
"Did you pull me out of the water...because you thought I was trying to kill myself?"
The giant's skeletal mouth opened slightly, his eyes widening. At first she wasn't sure if the look of shock was brought on by her correct or incorrect assumption. But as he turned around to face her fully, the creature lowered his head, and nodded.
His confirmation had caught her by surprise, though there was a part of her that felt that she honestly couldn't blame him. For the past few weeks, she had taunted death on more than one occasion, even in the presence of Eren. She recalled a situation where the two had ventured further up the mountain from her small cove.
At one point, she had chosen to walk along the steep edge of a cliff, even going so far as to dangle her leg over the edge. The dangerous and daring action really hadn't affected her, but as for the titan that insisted on following her, it was another story.
It started out as a worried whine, though he made no move to approach her.
Glancing lazily over her shoulder, Lyra gave the towering behemoth a questioning look. "What? Afraid I'll fall off?" Her foot shifted closer to the edge, which, much to her surprise, warranted her newfound companion to flinch towards her, hand outstretched to grab her and pull her away from the ledge.
"Heh." She laughed, though her face was as void and vacant as ever. "Won't let me croak, will you?"
Death was something Lya defied daily, and often provoked. At this point, she honestly didn't care if she lived or died. After all, was there really anything for her to look forward to anymore? With Willow gone, her dream of living a semi-peaceful life with someone within the walls was crushed. The devastation of losing the one person she cared about weighed on her mind almost constantly, and there were no shortages of occasions where she debated on simply ending her miserable existence.
I even asked him to just flat out eat me once. Never thought a titan could replicate a look of pure disgust before. But still, despite all that, she couldn't help but ask.
Why care?
Even if this titan simply sought companionship, surely there was someone else he could find after she was gone. Test subjects from Project Immunity were dumped into titan territory all the time. Not to mention that the Survey Corps often made routine expeditions into the titan infested wasteland. She wasn't the only person he could reach out to.
Once again, she found herself looking into those enormous teal eyes of his, always looking at her as if she was the only thing in the world to watch. It was almost as if this titan was fascinated by her in some way–that he had formed some kind of attachment to her.
And that was something she didn't want.
Her confusion turned to a scowl. She was putting an end to this here and now. "Hey, you shouldn't be concerned with the likes of me, alright? It's every man for himself out here. If death wants to take me, then it's going to. I've been wishing I was dead for a long time so...don't make it your sole mission to make sure I stay alive, alright?"
Her words only appeared to irk him further. Nostrils flaring, he growled again. Those deep burning eyes of his were practically staring into her soul, screaming in protest.
The scowl on her face only deepened. Why do I feel like I'm being scolded? Of all the things that could grow attached to me, it's a goddamn titan that decides to give a shit of whether I live or die. Yet amidst her anger, she couldn't help but feel...guilty.
He had acted out of concern for her own well being–nothing more. He had saved her life countless times already, even when she would've been perfectly capable of handling certain threats herself. I'm not just indebted to him for that. The way I acted...Sighing, the brunette closed her eyes, taking a deep breath in order to get her anger under control. "Look, I'm sorry that I worried you. And from this point forward, if it makes you feel any better, I won't intentionally try to off myself–even when you're not around. So you can take me off suicide watch, alright?"
The intense glare remained on Eren's face, as his fierce eyes looked her over cautiously, trying to determine if she was indeed telling the truth.
Why are you trying to console a titan? Taking a step forward, she continued. "You have my word. Think of it as repayment for all the times you've saved my sorry ass."
He snorted, grumbling to himself. But, eventually he nodded. And although he couldn't speak, his eyes said everything. "I'm trusting you on that."
"Good," She nodded, and pushing a few stringy strands of hair out of her face, she gestured towards the cluster of trees. "I've had enough scares for one day. I'm ready to go home."
Walking past him, she paused at the forest's edge, glancing over her shoulder. "Well? Are you coming or not?"
The trek back through the dense forest was a long one, but for the most part, Lyra didn't mind it. She enjoyed the birds' sweet songs mixed with the warm breeze and scent of pine, taking it all in and savoring it with each passing moment. While her cove contained the occasional wandering animal and bird's nest, it was still somewhat of an enclosed space. But out here? Although danger was rampant, freedom was something she cherished and craved.
The calm and otherwise peaceful moment was suddenly cut short, as the familiar tingling sensation running up and down her spine grew stronger. Immediately she came to a stop, her wide and alert eyes scanning the area. The ground stopped shaking as Eren came to a stop as well, pausing just a few meters away from her.
"Did you spot any titans on our way here?" Lyra asked, listening intently for anything out of the ordinary. She stole a glance at the towering behemoth behind her, searching his face for any kind of answer.
The titan's muscles tensed and his pupils contracted, though his gaze didn't settle anywhere in particular.
Can he not see anything? His response was unusual, in the sense that he didn't take off towards the obvious lingering threat. Usually, should an unfortunate mindless titan wander within Eren's line of sight, it would be dead in less than a minute. Never did he hesitate to kill another one of his kind, especially when it got too close for comfort. So why was he simply looming over her like some kind of guard dog? Was it a smaller titan? An abnormal that was hiding somewhere amongst the trees?
She wasn't entirely sure. All too soon, what had been a slight vibration deep within her core and spine had grown, transitioning into pins and needles beneath her skin.
There was more than one.
She grew more frantic, her eyes darting across the maze of trees that surrounded them. Just where were they? Were they close to the wide open field that lay between the dense forest and her cove? Were the titans slowly surrounding them from all sides? She looked to her titan companion for advice. "E-Eren?"
But he didn't answer, instead, the low and constant growl that had rumbled in his chest suddenly ripped through his skeletal maw in an angry roar.
No sooner did the deafening sound course through the air did two large titans come stumbling through the trees, both of which had their vacant eyes focussed on Lyra.
The brunette was quick to dart out of the way, turning to her right and taking off in the opposite direction from whence they came. Yet as her luck would have it, another three titans emerged from the shadows, their wide and sinister grins making her blood run cold.
Skidding to a halt she pivoted and turned again–heading back towards the lake. If I can just make it to the water! I might be able to lose them there! Blood pounding in her ears and skin electrifying with her awakening powers, she took a chance and shot out a stream or blue electricity towards the closest titan. With a loud boom, it struck the naked beast in the face, causing it to shriek in pain and slow to a halt.
Not dead but stalled! Amidst the sound of her own thundering heartbeat and heavy pants, she could hear her companion fighting in the distance. Though she was a good distance away already, she could see at least three more heads towering above the treeline, all of which were nearly identical in height to Eren. Just where did all these titans come from?! It had been months since she came across a horde of this size. And even then, she had disposed of most of them. Swinging her arm out, she shot another bolt of electricity at the two remaining titans, managing to strike both of them at once.
But just as she was about to break through the treeline and make a dive into the lake, she stopped.
The furious roars of her titan companion had shifted. No longer were they simply bellows and snarls of untamed fury, but were now mixed with shrill and painful cries.
The sounds were unlike anything she had ever heard before. Had he failed to kill all of them? Was he hurt? Her body began to tremble, both out of fear and a surprising surge of rage.
"It's every man for himself out here."
Her own words spoken just minutes before came back to haunt her, making her flinch. She had meant what she said. For a long time now, she had relied only on herself and her own abilities. It was the one thing she had going for her in this living hell.
Swallowing the lump forming in her throat, Lyra took a step towards the treeline, only to stop as another furious and ear splitting roar ripped through the air.
It practically ripped into her soul.
She wasn't sure why she had suddenly turned around and started running towards imminent danger, or why her fear and self-preservation had all but vanished, replaced by a mounting rage with each step she took. But one thing she did know was that the tingling of electricity along her skin was practically burning now. A huge surge of power began building in her core, begging to be discharged and aimed at something.
It was a direct repeat of what happened when she fought Cade–after he had so callously crushed Willow in his very own hands, and tossed the girl's lifeless body onto the muddy ground like trash–the power that was rising with each step fueled her rage and thirst for blood. How dare these monsters attack him. How dare they try to kill someone as intelligent and as good as Eren.
How dare they attack my companion.
So overcome with anger and lost to her own powers, Lyra didn't even notice that the three titans she had injured, were suddenly writhing on the ground in absolute agony, resorting to clawing at their own napes to escape the painful electricity that was already burning them from the inside out.
With a loud battle cry, Lyra entered the active fighting zone, launching herself at the nearest titan.
Headbutting one of the titans that had latched onto him, Eren managed to free one of his arms–which was already desperately trying to regenerate a few bitten off fingers. Grabbing hold of the fourteen meter gnawing on his shoulder, he pulled the mindless beast away, roughly taking hold of its short blonde hair and pulling off its head with one swift tug. And moving to the twelve meter gnawing on his left arm, he clamped his skeletal jaw over the naked monster's nape and tore straight through it, discarding the disintegrating corpse onto the ground.
But just as he was free, another titan had latched onto him, wrapping its stubby arms around his torso as it took a big chunk out of his side. Roaring angrily, he was about to drive his regenerating fist into the creature's skull, when suddenly, a streak of blue light spiraled through the air, striking the naked beast's nape.
Immediately the eleven meter titan let go, falling backwards onto the ground with a dying shriek.
Shocked and confused, Eren sought out its source, only to stare in awe at the sight playing out before his very eyes.
Blinded by rage and oblivious to what was even going on around her, Lyra had used her powers to quite literally launch herself off the ground, hopping from titan to titan as she tore out their napes with streams of burning electricity.
One...two...four...six...one by one the naked beasts, both large and small, fell to the ground in twitching and disintegrating piles of steam and blue volts.
Kill them. Kill them all! Grinning sadistically as the power went to her head, the brunette moved to drawing out each kill–targeting the eyes, the mouth, or simply just the surface level of skin of each titan. She didn't just want to dispose of them efficiently. They needed to be punished. So many of her fellow test subjects had died by their hands. So many of her own kind had been ruthlessly hunted and devoured by these man-eating and soulless beasts. They needed to pay for hurting Eren. They needed to pay for their sins.
They needed to suffer.
With a quick slice of her hand, the teen brought down the last remaining titan, riding its falling and disintegrating corpse all the way to the ground.
The silence that rang out was deafening. The hissing clouds of steam that rose from the array of giant corpses gradually began to die down, though their sound seemed permanently engraved in Lyra's ears.
Panting heavily, the flickering electric charge that had covered her entire body slowly began to vanish, receding beneath her skin once more. The eerie blue glow remained in her eyes, as her powers subsided, but still remained very much active.
It's done. It's over.
She repeated the thought over and over again in her head, hoping it would help her calm down. Remembering just what had caused her powers to ignite in the first place, her glowing gaze drifted up towards the regenerating titan in front of her.
His eyes were wide, a clear sign of shock evident in those endless pools of green. Fear, confusion, awe–all seemed to swirl around in those expressive irises, rendering him completely still.
The two seemed to stare at one another for a few seconds, before the onset of exhaustion began to creep up and cover Lyra like a heavy blanket.
Eerie glow fading, blue eyes rolled into the back of her head as her legs gave out beneath her.
She was unconscious before she hit the ground.