her.

If only Addison had been warned that family and couple reunions will welcome her as she alights the plane, she would have declined the invitation. Who was she kidding? Of course, she knew. Holidays are for returning to families, for spending time with the ones you love. In a way, she's also visiting her family. Ex-husband's family . It has been three years since their divorce. No slip of the tongue should have occurred. Still, seeing someone being greeted into a hug or a kiss left a bitter taste on her mouth.

The soft chattering of the people around her was no match for the sound of her heels clicking on the marbled floor of the airport. The falling of her Louboutins gave her the sense of power she ultimately lacked as of the moment. She should have never taken the phone call from her former sister-in-law.

But she did, even entertained her nieces and nephews for a while. His, Addison. Not yours. And now, she's on a plane back to Connecticut for Thanksgiving. She did miss having a family to go home to on holidays.

The cab halted in front of the large, white bungalow in a residential area a few miles away from the city. She knew the house perfectly well as if it was her own. After all, she did spend a majority of the eleven Thanksgiving and Christmases of her marriage to Derek in this house. Addison had been able to memorize every silent and unknown corner to keep it together when Derek bails on them. If she had been completely honest, she was more of a Shepherd in the last eleven years than he was.

The faint sound of the doorbell matched her ragged heartbeat and the syncopated foot taps she had made on the wooden front porch. A bunch of tiny footfalls grew louder as they ran to the door, all waiting to see her. The door opened and soon, she was tackled with hugs from the children.

"Aunt Addie!" One of them cries, before launching herself to the red head's embrace.

Then another one stomped his feet, "I saw Aunt Addie first!"

A little kid with dark, unruly waves argued with his cousin, "I did!"

In came Nancy, ushering the kids inside and out of Addison's hair. "You're all going to get your turns with your Aunt Addison. You can go back to watching your show now, kids." It earned the eldest Shepherd a few groans from the children but eventually agreed, convinced that Addison wasn't leaving anytime soon. Not for at least three days, anyway.

"How was your flight?" Nancy grabbed her suspiciously small suitcase Addison brought with her. It wasn't small, per se, but it was inadequate, knowing how Addison normally packed her clothes.

She carefully entered the house, feeling quite out of place. "It went well. A little turbulence on the way, but nothing too bothersome."

Not a lot has changed, she decided. Pictures hung at different parts of the house, books shoved in shelves near the fireplace, and the scent. It had always smelled like home. "I've missed it here." She quietly says, taking in everything she never thought she would see again after their divorce.

"We missed you here," Nancy reassures her before wheeling her suitcase to the bedroom she'd be staying in. Right before she steps into the bedroom, she knew she should have checked in at a hotel instead.

It was his old bedroom.

Addison can remember his bedroom clearly. Light blue walls adorned with sleeves filled with medical books and paraphernalia. On the right side of the bedroom was a window covered in sheer curtains--Addison's choice. She had stayed in his room countless times during holidays and birthdays. Had even made love in the very same bed even before they were pronounced husband and wife. It was very much hers as it was his.

Accepting her fate, Addison took her suitcase from her former sister-in-law's hand and started hanging her dresses on her side of his closet. It was ridiculous to leave space for him but she did it anyway. Another tradition that was hard to break.

Nancy kept her distance as she allowed her favorite sister-in-law (not that there were any other Mrs. Derek Shepherd to choose from) to unpack. "We missed you here."

"I missed it here." Addison turned to Nancy and gave her a soft, appreciative smile. It has been years since she last stepped foot into any of the residences of the Shepherd family. "When is everyone getting in?"

Nancy paused for a minute to recall everyone's schedules. "Liz will drive here tomorrow and Kathleen and the kids will arrive tonight if she could get her two lovely children in the car." A chuckle escaped Addison's painted lips. Kathleen's children were angels in front of Addison, a part of the silent competition to who will be Aunt Addie's favorite, but she knew her children can be difficult to deal with when they want to.

"Where's uh, Mom?" Addison wondered as she hung the last bit of clothing on her side of the closet. It was a black embellished dress from Prada, one of her latest purchases in Los Angeles before flying out to Connecticut. Satisfied with how she arranged her clothes, she gently closed the closet door and strode to where Nancy was standing.

The pair made their way downstairs, the smell of apples and cinnamon greeting them. "Kitchen. Probably baking something. You know how she gets during the holidays."

"It's not a holiday without her pastries." Addison smiled at the thought. Carolyn Shepherd makes the best apple turnovers on the East Coast. "Is she... mad at me?"

"Addie, Mom may be very protective of her only son, but she knows that marriage takes two people for it to work. And for the longest time, you've been the only one working on it."

"Well, that marriage ended three years ago," Addison noted as she climbed onto a stool, honored to witness the great Carolyn Shepherd in the kitchen. "It ended way before he moved to Seattle."

Nancy sat beside her. "There's no need to feel bad about it, Addie. You may not be a Shepherd by name anymore, but you're still a part of this family. My brother? He left this family the moment he moved into that trailer of his."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Has he really not spoken to you, since?"

Addison waited for her former sister-in-law's answer, but Carolyn stepped in for her. "No. Not even during the holidays. Only you could drag him back to this household. Welcome home, Addie."

The older woman pulled the redhead into a hug, one that Addison quickly molded into. "Hi, Mom. How are you?"

Carolyn gave her a smile. "As well as an old lady can be."

Addison shook her head in disagreement. "You're not that old."

"Don't be polite." The older woman reprimanded her. A wooden spoon on her left hand, pointing at her former daughter-in-law.

"I'm not," Addison defended. "I'm just complimenting you so I can get an extra serving of whatever is baking inside your oven." The younger Shepherd laughed and the older one groaned as their guest added a wink to her attempt at a flattering remark. Addison soon left the kitchen and searched for the children who had been nagging at her feet from the moment she arrived.

him.

It's been years.

That was the first thought that popped into Derek's mind as the exterior of his childhood home came into view. He almost sped up to the nearest curb to take a U-turn before anyone could even see him and his rented car, but the moment he saw his nephews in the front yard, all doubt disappeared. Derek could only hope that his sisters and mother would give him a welcome better than the one he knew he deserved.

His nephews ran inside before he could even get out of the car, so he grimly walked in front of the door and softly pressed on the faded doorbell. A faint buzzing noise was heard followed by Nancy's familiar voice shouting, "Just a minute!"

He patiently waited on the porch, slowly taking in the neighborhood he grew up in. The Millers still lived next door, along with the Andersons in front of their home. A slight wave of nostalgia hit him.

The neurosurgeon turned as he heard the familiar creaking of the door. "Der—what are you doing here?"

Derek gave her sister a dreamy smile. He wasn't called McDreamy for nothing. He only prayed that it worked on his cranky sister. "Happy Thanksgiving?"

Nancy raised her eyebrow. Damn it, it didn't work. Derek thought her sister would welcome him with open arms and a grateful sob. "Thanksgiving is tomorrow."

"I have a calendar," Derek informed her. "Am I not allowed to see my family?"

Nancy glared at her brother. "When you left us for that rainy city and shut us out for the past five years, you forfeited that right. We stopped waiting for you to come home, Derek."

He gulped at his sister's remark, knowing that he deserved her harsh words. He did deliberately choose to disappear from his family, but they also failed to reach out to him when he moved to Seattle. Derek shrugged it off, the more important thing was that he was present, right?

Derek was about to make amends with his sister when he found a familiar coat inside. There was only one person in his family that he knew would willingly wear such luxurious clothing. "Are you telling me I'm not welcome here, but the owner of that expensive coat hanging over there is?" He averted his gaze to the khaki-colored trench coat.

Nancy stepped in his line of sight to block his view of the coat. "Did you know she's here?"

He sighed as he shook his head. "No. I was hoping I wouldn't see her again."

"Well," Nancy firmly said. "She's welcome here. I invited her."

"This is mom's house," Derek said matter-of-factly.

"I consulted Mom before inviting her here." Nancy justified, folding her arms in the process.

"Are you not going to let me in?" Derek pushed, already annoyed with his older sister.

The children had probably noticed that their mother had been speaking to the person outside longer than she usually would. Ben, his seven-year-old nephew, ran to him, his little arms wrapping around his leg for a moment or two before running back inside. "Uncle Derek! Thank you for the remote control car you gave me for my birthday! It's so cool!"

Derek smiled at his nephew before turning to Nancy. "Remote cont—"

"Addie," Nancy supplied as if Derek was the stupidest person not to figure that out. It seems that his ex-wife still sends gifts to his family. That meant that she probably sends them gifts on their birthdays and holidays and calls them more than he did in the past years he had been staying in Seattle. What's worse is that she still signs the cards 'Aunt Addie and Uncle Derek' not because she didn't want to hurt the children's feelings, but she knew he wouldn't make an effort for his family.

"Look," Nancy started, breaking his reverie. "I'm not going to stand guard here all day, but I need you to swear that you will not pick on a fight with your wife."

"Ex-wife." He corrected.

His sister feigned not understanding his previous sentence. "Not one petty remark from your equally petty ass."

"No petty remarks from my pretty ass." He repeated monotonously.

Nancy stared him down. "Derek, I'm serious."

"Fine," Derek raised his two-million-dollars-a-year hands in forfeiture. "I'm an adult. She's an adult. We're both perfectly civil, professional adults here. Now can I go inside?"

"Okay." His sister did not give any telltale that she believed him, but she opened the door wider to give him entrance. "Welcome home, Derek."

He enveloped his sister in a hug. "Thanks."

There she was—beaming as she walked down the staircase, four wrapped gifts in hand. Probably for the kids, he mused. He was content on staring at his ex-wife and her Prada-clad body when she noticed the presence of Derek. A visible scowl formed on her face.

Derek dropped his bag to the nearest couch. "It's a surprise to see you here."

"You being here is a surprise," Addison countered. "What are you doing here?"

"I missed my family. Thanksgiving in Seattle is a little lonely." Since his first Thanksgiving in Seattle, the one where he purposefully spent in the operating room just to spite his then-wife, it had become a tradition for him to spend the holiday in the hospital. At least his patients were grateful for him at Seattle Grace.

"Where's your 12-year-old intern?" His ex-wife queried.

"She's a 15-year old now," Derek answered smugly.

"Aren't you supposed to celebrate with her? Is she here?"

"We broke up," Derek supplied dismissively. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to celebrate the holidays with Ma—a boyfriend?"

Addison narrowed her eyes. "Don't you dare bring him up. I'm here because your sweet, charming sister who learned how to look past my mistakes invited me."

"Ever the peacemaker, I see." He shrugged before saying what would surprise them both. "You look beautiful." She bobbed her head slightly to her left, confusion painted on her face. When was the last time he complimented her? Was it in Seattle? The cursed prom? Was it in New York? Honestly, he couldn't remember. A pang of guilt washed over him.

"You look better than what you looked like in Seattle," Addison replied. If there was anything she felt save from confusion, she hid it well. Derek couldn't read her as well as before.

Derek smirked, sitting on the armchair of his mother's old couch. "You know what, I'm proud of how we're acting very neutral and civil. We're making progress here."

"Can I stop you there?" Addison put a hand on her hip the way she did so many times before when they had their arguments. "We've been divorced for three years. The last time we talked was when you pushed me out of Seattle. There is no progress here because we," she pointed to Derek then herself for emphasis, "are not trying to be friends here."

"I'm sorry." What else can he say, really?

Addison sighed. "You could have said that years ago."

Derek huffed, already tired of this conversation. "We're going around in circles, Addison."

"Let's just...keep distance from each other, okay?" She placed a hand on his arm and gave him a soft smile. He made a mental note to not push her buttons for the next few days, except for when Addison starts the argument. Which he soon realizes that it was rarely the case.

"Fine." Derek left his ex-wife standing in the living room. He felt her eyes trailing behind him as he moved to the kitchen, elated to greet his mother.

her.

The Shepherd family dinners were always a delight to be in. Good food paired with good conversation was a rare occurrence for Addison. Growing up, she may have been surrounded by five-Michelin-star cuisine on a regular basis, but she had no one to share it with. The Captain and Bizzy were barely around. It was only in medical school when she had first experienced that good food wasn't meant to be devoured alone.

"So," Carolyn turned to her former daughter-in-law. "How is LA?"

"Warm," Addison automatically replied. It was her default answer when people ask her about her new place of residence. "I live beside the beach and I have a practice there. It's a little slower than usual, but I'm doing great."

"A beach?!" Emma, one of Nancy's children, brightened up at the mention of living by the ocean. "Can we go with you, Aunt Addie? I want to build the biggest sandcastle ever!"

She smiled, not wanting to disappoint the child. She may still be a Shepherd to the eyes of her nieces and nephews, but there was an evident barrier between the adults. Addison didn't need any more ties to Derek's family than she already has. "You'll have to ask your mom, darling."

At her reply, all the kids in the dining room turned to their respective Shepherd mothers. A collective sound of 'Moooooom!' paired with the best puppy dog eyes they can manage was heard in the room. Addison chuckled lightly but abruptly stopped after seeing the look Derek was throwing at her.

Nancy pinched her daughter's nose lightly. "Maybe we'll go on your birthday if Aunt Addie says it's okay."

Addison winked. "I'll see you on your birthday, then."

"Yay!" Emma cheered! "And we'll see Aunt Amy too!"

The joyful sound in the room was cut short when Derek spoke. "Amelia is in LA?"

"Yes," Nancy irritatedly answered. "She's training at St. Ambrose. As a neurosurgeon. Which you would have known had you kept contact with your family." It was no secret that she wasn't fond of her youngest sister, but at least Amelia had the courage to call them on their birthdays, despite her estranged relationship with her family. Derek, on the other hand, had been completely absent.

Carolyn softly reprimanded her eldest daughter. "Nance—"

Addison butted in before Nancy could say anything else. "She's one of the best there is. We meet up for dinner twice a week."

Her former mother-in-law smiled at her response. Amelia had always been fond of Addison, had been a large part of why she pursued medicine. "So. Los Angeles. Have you bumped heads with any Hollywood actors?"

"I have, but I'm still hoping that I get to see Russel Crowe." She glanced at Derek, who threw her a knowing look.

"West Coast, huh?" Derek remarked absentmindedly. "Nice tan."

And as if it answers every question Derek has in mind, Addison replied, "It shines differently there."

Dinner went on successfully; if you could count awkward glances between a divorced couple and the occasional glares from Nancy to her brother, successful. Addison retired to Derek's old room after volunteering to help clean the kitchen and the dining room. The three-hour time difference did nothing but tire her out faster than a usual day would. With an exhausted yawn, she bade the children her good nights.

Stepping out of the shower, Addison heaved out a sigh of exhaustion. She had accepted Nancy's invite after her former sister-in-law promised her that talks about her ex-husband would not surface. And in a cruel twist of fate, Derek is present in the flesh, after 5 years of cutting ties with his family.

What's even worse is that said ex-husband is now standing by the doorway, his arms crossed. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" Addison screamed, tightening her arms around her robe-clad body.

"This is my room," Derek said matter-of-factly.

Addison glared at him. "Don't you at least have the decency to knock?!"

"This is my room!" Derek pointed to different paraphernalia around the room. "You see the books on that shelf? Mine! The pictures on the table? Mine. That bed and the sheets on it? Mine!"

"This also became my room when I used to visit during the holidays and you weren't there!" The redhead sighed, unsure of how she would win against a petty Derek. "No one expected that you'll be home, Derek! They gave me the room so I have a place to stay. Now, can you please leave? I need to change into my clothes."

"It's not like I haven't seen you in less." Addison groaned, but he turned to the wall, giving his ex-wife the privacy she needed. "I'm still staying here."

"Go sleep on the couch!" The neonatal surgeon hurriedly wore her black underwear and lace bra. A red tint painted her face as she realized that she was wearing what could pass as lingerie while she was in the same room as her ex-husband. Shaking the thought out of her head, she grabbed an old pair of sweats and an oversized shirt (which was probably his).

"One of the kids spilled juice on it earlier. I'm not sleeping on that couch!

"Sleep on the floor!" Addison exasperatedly said. "Outside this room. God, can't I have a moment of peace without you disrupting it?" After a pause, she added. "You can turn around now."

"Right. I also had my peace in Seattle until you barged in the hospital and the trailer. I'm staying for a night, not a year!" Derek did as he was told and now he was eyeing the familiar print on the shirt. The letters on the shirt may have faded, but it was clear that it was his shirt—the crest on the middle of it proved it. Truth be told, Addison stole it from his closet when he left for Seattle. It was his favorite shirt, and it quickly became hers as well. It was her only comfort for the two months that he had disappeared.

She rolled her eyes at him, not wanting to pick up a fight with Derek, who was acting like a six-year-old at the moment. "Why don't you save us the screaming match and just book a hotel?"

"We're going in circles. This is my room. I grew up here. This is my family. You're—"

"I'm what?" Addison challenged him. "Not the fifth Shepherd sister anymore? Not a part of this family?"

Addison should have known better. The manchild in front of her never backed from a fight. "Not after you slept with Mark!"

She narrowed her eyes. "You also lost that right when you pretended that your own family did not exist and weren't waiting for you to come home to New York!"

"Which wouldn't have happened if you kept your legs closed or at the very least, locked the door!" Derek shouted. Her only prayer was that their little screaming match wouldn't be heard outside. She doubted it. After all, they've almost always been caught in bed when they stayed at the house.

"You still don't get why your family still treats me as if I'm one of their own, after all these years, huh?" The redhead furrowed her eyebrows. "It's because I'm strong enough to admit to my mistakes. You're still on your high horse, thinking that you're a saint and was not half the reason our marriage failed."

And for the first time, not just in ten minutes, but in years, Derek Shepherd's tongue was caught in his throat. He turned to her with a look—something that used to be familiar but can't recognize anymore. It could have been a concoction of guilt and anger. Of remorse and disgust. Of repentance and indifference. Not that Addison would know—the man in front of her was a stranger, after all.

Addison sighed in defeat. "Just let me pack my bags and the room is yours."

"N-no," Derek stammered. "You're right, they invited you, I wasn't expected here."

She waved her hand in dismissal as she grabbed her empty suitcase and lay it open on the bed "No, it's fine. I'll just book a hotel."

Derek couldn't find the courage to leave the room or say anything. Instead, all he could do was watch his ex-wife pack her bags. She waited for him to say something. Anything at all, but nothing came.

The sound of the suitcase rolling on the wooden floor reminded her of the day Derek had left her in the brownstone, and somehow, with Derek's eyes trailing after her, she knew it reminded him of that day as well.

She turned around before she reached the staircase. "I know I cheated. I know that I'm probably the worst person in your eyes. You can't even look at me without disgust in your eyes, but I've paid my debt to society. I've paid for it emotionally and physically. I know that you've not forgiven me for whatever happened in New York, in Seattle, but you don't get to treat me like a piece of crap, Derek."

Without waiting for a response, she dragged her suitcase to the front door and called a cab. Maybe coming here was a mistake, after all.

him.

It had always been a wonder to Derek how Addison could drink at any time of day. He curiously eyed the contents of the glass she held in her manicured hand. Red wine filled half of the glass. It was only 10 in the morning. Too early for any drunken muses from his ex-wife.

He strode to where she stood in the kitchen—she was leaning beside Mom's expensive vase (a gift from him and Addie for Christmas), looking ethereal in a dress and her fiery copper hair. To say that she was beautiful would be an understatement.

"I'm sorry about last night."

Addison rose an eyebrow before taking a large gulp from her glass. "Can we just celebrate the holidays without burning half of my lungs from screaming at each other?"

He grabbed her glass and set it on the table, earning him a deathly glare from Addison. She may have a high tolerance for alcohol, but she never knew how to handle her drinks. "Mom almost kicked me out of the house when she found out that you booked a hotel."

"I expected it from Nance, but not Mom. You must really have pissed her off for the golden son to be kicked out." Addison laughed heartily. He could only stare at her.

Embarrassed for staring at the woman before him, he looked down at the floor. "She almost threw a shoe at me after I grumbled when she told me to call you. I was about to, when your cab arrived."

"Saved by the bell, it seems." She trailed off, cutting the conversation short.

Before she could even walk away from him, he grabbed her wrist softly. What was he doing? "Where are you staying?"

"The Marriot," she replied nonchalantly.

"Figures." Derek mused. Addison wouldn't stay at a place that had less than four stars. Only the best for a Forbes-Montgomery like her. Except for the time when she stayed at this dingy inn just to stay closer to you. Or when she stayed at the trailer for almost a year.

"I like what you did to your hair." He blurted out suddenly. A faint pink shade covered Addison's face. Derek tried his best not to hide the smile that was creeping onto his face.

"What?" Addison touched the tips of her hair—it was longer than he was used to and it only reminded him of how long he last saw her. "I just curled it. I used to do it all the time."

"Oh. I guess I didn't notice it before. It suits you." Addison gave her a small smile. He used to tell her that she was beautiful all the time—in the morning on their bed, after stepping out of the shower, in the hallways of Mt. Sinai. Even when she thought she wasn't worthy of the compliment, he told her that she was beautiful. Because that is what she was. An ethereal beauty. Somewhere along the way, he stopped telling her that.

God, he was an ass.

The shrill of two women laughing pulled Derek back to reality. His ex-wife no longer stood in front of him and was instead back at the front door, greeting another guest.

"It's so nice to see you here, Addie!" He heard her sister gush. Why was everyone happy to see Addison and not Derek? Being the only son in the Shepherd household warranted him to feel left alone, but he did not expect this.

Addison pulled her into an embrace. "Kathleen! Where are my nieces and nephews?"

Kathleen pointed to the front door. "In the car with their father. They were fighting during the drive so we put them on time out. I'm so glad you can make it! When Nance told me she invited you, I doubted if you'd accept, but I am so glad you did."

"I'm not sure about that yet," Addison replied. Her voice turned softer, but he still heard the entirety of it. Taking it as his cue, he trod across the room to his ex-wife and sister.

"Why? Oh—" Kathleen stopped as she saw her only brother walking to her.

"How is my favorite sister?" Derek pulled her into a tight hug. "Don't tell anyone I said that."

Kathleen patted his cheek in affection. "How is my only brother, then? What made you fly out here? For Thanksgiving, no less."

He gave her a look. He also noticed that Addison had moved back into the kitchen, probably drinking her red wine up to the last drop. "Don't psychoanalyze me, Kathleen. I have a shrink back at home."

His sister rolled her eyes and put up two fingers before Derek. "One, I am not psychoanalyzing you. Not in front of you, at least. Two, don't say the word shrink in front of a psychiatrist."

"Duly noted, sis," Derek gave her a salute. "It's nice to see you! Now where are the kids?"

Kathleen groaned at the mention of her kids. "They're on time out. Can you go get them?"

"Sure." Derek beamed and kissed her sister on the cheek before heading out to surprise his sister's children.

her.

Addison glanced to the door where Derek was being hogged by Kathleen's son. He had always been good with kids—a natural, she could even dare say, and that was saying a lot, considering she worked with babies and kids. At times like these, fragments of her old visions come to shore—imagery of her and Derek and their kids.

Kathleen sat beside her, glancing at the scene with her brother and children as well. "I can see why this arrangement is not viable for you."

She glanced at Kathleen, shrugging. "He just showed up. Unannounced. No one knows why he's here, and no one has the heart to turn him away. I don't have the courage to go back to L.A. Not yet at least."

"There's something wrong with him." The psychiatrist wondered aloud. "Have you heard about him and his girlfriend back in Seattle?"

Addison shook her head in response. "I've been avoiding any news about Seattle. He said they've broken up if it helps you psychoanalyze him."

Kathleen grinned, making a mental note to talk to Addison about Derek's behavior later. "But are you okay?"

"Don't turn this into a therapy session," Addison warned, "but I'm not. I've missed everyone, though. Especially the kids."

Kathleen nudged her lightly. "You'll always be a part of this family, Addie. Even if you're no longer a Shepherd on paper. I'm surprised it took you this long to visit. We were expecting that you'd cave in sooner than you did."

The comment surprised Addison. If it weren't for Nancy's non-stop nagging for her to come to visit, she wouldn't have come. Truth be told, she even thought that the whole Shepherd clan would greet her with pitchforks and torches, but they were warm. Warm enough to still call her family even after everything.

"I know." Addison beamed. "Do you need help with the bags?"

There must be some unspoken rule during the holidays that makes everything simpler—all bad memories forgotten, all mistakes forgiven. With the way Derek was tethered to Addison (or was it Addison to Derek?), everything felt like the last five years did not happen.

You see, it's very easy to fall back to old habits when what surrounds you reminds you of your good times together. Maybe that was the reason Derek had absentmindedly rested his palm on her back when they conversed with Liz and her husband. Maybe the wave of nostalgia hit them too hard that when Derek's tie and hair had been disheveled after playing with his nephews, Addison quickly fixed his appearance like she always did before. Maybe, for the first time in years, they had forgotten about Mark, the prom, the divorce, that when Addison pierced a forkful of pastry for Derek to try, neither of them (or any of their family, for that matter), minded.

They could both argue that muscle memory was the only reason they were acting that way. Eleven years of marriage was hard to forget, after all. But no one dared to spare them a worried, knowing glance. No one dared to speak about how Derek and Addison were no longer a married couple. In fact, other members of the family left them alone to talk, to touch, to bask in each other's presence.

Addison knew it was dangerous. Derek was dangerous. It took her years to finally get over her ex-husband—to be able to finally talk about him without shedding a tear. She didn't need any reminder of how for the most part of their marriage, they were actually happy. A part of her wanted to flinch at his every touch to drive him away. The same part wanted to pick up a fight with him, to bring up their affairs and the demise of their marriage, if only to return to their comfort zone. But a part of her, the Derek-sized part of her, wanted nothing but to stay where she was right now. Addison was simply not strong enough to win against the part of her that wanted Derek.

The road that leads to him is calling her name and without a shadow of a doubt, she answers it. She lets the regret come later.

him.

There was something with the way Addison sat on the couch, a glass of wine in one hand, and a photo album in the other that made Derek smile. Seeing her with his family after the divorce was something he never thought he would witness, but then again, he also wasn't expecting that he'd be home for Thanksgiving.

Perhaps marriage had tied both Derek and Addison together. Despite the fact that they both signed the divorce papers, they were just too closely tied. The medical world was a small one, and sooner or later they would meet each other at a conference. Their friends in New York and medical school were one and the same, and when you spend a third of your life with someone, everything that is yours becomes theirs. It's just the way it is.

The only thing that brings him comfort was that Seattle was his as LA was hers. New York was just a common ground they were both unfortunate to be in at the same time.

Yet, there was something in the way Addison sat on his family's couch, her face illuminated by the dim glow of the fire, that stirred something in Derek. Maybe it was how she smiled to herself as she flipped through the Shepherd's photo albums. Maybe it was how she still fit in his family even after everything. Maybe it was the way he saw the Addison he fell in love with earlier that day when they had been too close to each other to be referred to as a divorced couple.

Derek pried the thoughts away from his head as he walked towards his ex-wife. "Hey."

She looked up from the photo album. It showed a picture of Derek and his toothy smile in middle school. "Hey. Why aren't you upstairs?"

He took a seat next to her and took a sip from her wine glass. "I don't want to meddle with my sisters putting their kids to bed. I'd rather not get dragged inside their rooms to read them some bedtime story."

Her only response was a hum of acknowledgment and a small smile.

"Why are you drinking? Aren't you supposed to go back to the hotel?"

Addison shrugged. "I can always call a cab."

Derek raised a brow. There's no chance that he'll allow his wife to take a cab after she'd had enough wine to drink. "I'll just drive you home."

Surprisingly, she didn't pick up a fight. "Oh. Okay. Why are you being nice?" Addison narrowed her eyes.

Derek shrugged, "I'm just being a decent human being who wants to see his ex-wife safely home."

"Thank you."

And there was a pregnant silence.

"Do you remember when we invited the family for Thanksgiving at the brownstone? The one when Nancy caught salmonella?" Derek said after a while. How does one talk to an ex-wife after three years?

Scratch that. How does one talk to an ex-wife after forcing her to leave the state?

Addison groaned at the mention of that certain Thanksgiving. "Ugh. Thanks for the reminder. Of all the good things that happened that night, that's all you can remember?"

He paused to think. "I do remember grilling hotdogs for everyone and the hot sex that came afterward."

"You smelled like grilled hotdogs. It wasn't very pleasing." He turned to see Addison scrunching her nose as if the faint scent of grilled sausages were still in the air.

Derek flashed a grin. "Hence, the hot sex in the shower."

She turned to him in a swift movement and playfully slapped his arm. "Pervert!"

"Hey! I'm just reminiscing good memories!" He let out a laugh. As much as Addison thought that that year's Thanksgiving was a disaster, he actually found it endearing. Not because of how he played hero, but how they were able to laugh it off after Addison's initial embarrassment wore off.

His ex-wife glared at him but a smile soon broke out, causing both of them to laugh at their trip down memory lane. "That doesn't entail fantasizing about me in the shower!"

"I'm not!" Derek put his hands up in surrender. He noticed Addison was suddenly quiet, now staring on the couch. "Now you're thinking about it?" He teased.

"No!" Addison faked a scandalous gasp. "I just—we had lots of good memories."

He found himself nodding. "I know. The best ones are with you."

She looked up at him with an unreadable expression. Maybe that was what he got for being indifferent. Not even your ex-wife would believe you find memories with her significant. Derek took her silence as a cue to elaborate his statement. "Like when we graduated from medical school. After our first surgeries. The first solo ones. Getting an apartment together. Moving into the brownstone."

"After the divorce…" Addison looked up at him. "It was difficult, you know. A third of my life ended on a whim, and I didn't know how I'd move forward. I had to keep you in a box and all the memories that came with you, and moved it to the back of my mind. But it's hard, when I owe a part of what I am today. You were everywhere and I let you consume me, and when we ended things, I was just lost."

Derek put a palm over her hand, surprised that theirs still fit like it was molded for each other. "You're still Addison, and a Forbes-Montgomery at that. What you are now is because of you. I'm just the man who was lucky enough to witness that."

"Thank you," she whispered. Her eyes flickered up to meet his and he was taken back to their first year in medical school, where her fierce green eyes met his blue ones as they were cutting up a cadaver for a class.

"For what?" He asked, even if he had an idea of what she was about to say.

"For the eleven—twelve years," Addison corrected herself. They had made it just a few months past twelve before they decided to sign the papers. "Even if the final years were hell for us."

"It's not just the eleven years, you know. We'd been a pact for far longer than that." They both said nothing after that. He knows that he should have left their conversation at that, but something slipped his tongue before he could even stop himself. "If I'd have to do everything again knowing how we would end up, I'd still want to get married to you."

His ex-wife turned to him in surprise. He also noticed her expression falter a bit. "I do too," she blurted out after a while.

There wasn't anything left to say after that. He figured it was for the best, before he could say anything that would cause consequences later on.

Addison stretched her feet on the couch, her calves resting on Derek's lap. "Can I take a nap before going back to the hotel?"

"Sure." It's not like she gave him a choice. Her feet were already propped on his lap.

She flashed him a drowsy smile—one that he knows bore the most meaning even in half slumber. "Happy Thanksgiving, Der."

He placed a palm on her knee. "Happy Thanksgiving, Addie. This is the best one I've had in years.

He can't remember the last Thanksgiving he enjoyed. Perhaps it was the last one he spent at home. It was three years before he moved to Seattle. The last three, he had spent in the hospital, waiting for patients who went overboard in the holiday fun. That was how he spent it in Seattle too, with no family to celebrate with. Save from the year when he forgot Addison was waiting for him in their spot with the viewfinders.

Without a doubt, Derek had just celebrated the best Thanksgiving he's had in six years. A lot had changed, yes, but when you've spent the holidays alone, even the most awkward of companies can bring you comfort.

Derek debated whether to leave the couch or carry Addison's sleeping form to his bedroom, but decided against both. He knows that Addison won't take it lightly that he moved her from where she fell asleep. The neurosurgeon settled with drawing small patterns on her skin as he fell asleep next to his ex-wife.

her.

Addison stirred about an hour later, her head throbbing faintly due to her holiday drinking earlier. At the other side of the couch was Derek, leaning against the armrest as he slept peacefully. Smiling at the vision, she carefully slipped from the couch to grab her purse. There was no need for Derek to drive her to the hotel.

She was about to head out when Derek fluttered his eyes open, confused at what Addison was doing by the door. "Sneaking out already?" He smirked. Even in his half-awake state, he still had the audacity to channel his playful antics.

"Go to sleep, Shepherd. I'm taking a cab." Addison firmly replied.

"I'm driving you. Just let me get coffee." Not in the mood to argue, not after their most civil conversation in years, Addison swallowed back her retort and waited for him to get his fill of caffeine.

No one bothered to talk during the drive. Addison was fully awake now, but she decided that taking the cityscape in was better than talking to the man driving beside her. He didn't seem to mind either.

The familiar exterior of the Marriot Hotel came into view and within minutes, Derek stopped the car in front of the hotel. He followed her inside the lobby and gave the keys to a valet. Addison found his action curious, but decided not to overthink it. He might be getting a drink at the bar hotel after he drops her off. Addison expected him to press the button to the floor where the bar was located, but he just leaned at the wall of the elevator.

"Thanks for driving me home, Derek, but you didn't have to see me off at my door." Addison swiped the key card to her suite, feeling a sense of comfort when the light turned green. Derek was nearing her space and he needs to leave before she allows him to consume her again.

"I wanted to," Derek assured her. "The last time I went inside this hotel was at Liz's wedding."

"Please don't mention anything about—" the time where they had sex in a room that is definitely not theirs. Addison flushed pink as the memory came back to her.

"My lips are sealed!" Derek laughed, dragging his fingers over his mouth and throwing the theoretical key away.

Addison leaned against her door. It was open, but neither moved. "That was a fun wedding. I wish I could have talked to her earlier."

"You'll be around for the next few days, right?" He asked, his hands inside his jean pockets.

"Yes," she confirmed. "You?"

"Maybe. Depends."

"On what?"

"I'm not sure yet." Derek searched her eyes, scurrying behind those stormy orbs. He's looking for something and she hopes she's hidden it well enough for it to never be found.

"I don't want this day to end yet," she blurted out.

He placed a palm on her cheek. "Ask me to stay, Addie." He whispered so softly, it hurt her to listen to his words.

The words escaped her lips before she could stop them. It seemed that her tongue and her mind were two separate entities at the moment. "Stay the night, Derek. Stay the night with me."

A lopsided grin broke on his face. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

No one knew who leaned in first or who kissed who first, but who cares really? All that mattered was how kissing Derek felt like coming home. Nothing too revolutionary and nothing too extravagant. Just a simple homecoming for someone who got lost in her way for years and years on end. He kissed her ferociously, already making up for the years they hadn't kissed each other. Addison was sure that her mouth would be sore—if it's not already bruised with the way he captured her lips.

Pulling away to take a breath, she glanced at him, searching for any signs of regret in his face. A wave of relief (and something else) washed over her as she realized that he wanted her, and only her. She smiled wickedly as he pulled her inside the suite and flipped them around so he could kiss her hungrily against the door.

Mistakes, doubts, and sins were left outside her hotel room. For the first time in years, they called it even.