Chapter Twenty-One
The evening sun bled through the tall magnificent windows of the foyer of the castle. Beatrix wandered lonesomely, trying her best to pick up the slack Steiner had hurriedly left to her. She hadn't been outside for so long for quite some time. She wore her peacoat despite it being just a bit too warm. She kept her hands in her pocket, her sword forlornly beating against her leg. Without having to worry about the revolving visits from Steiner, she was free to preoccupy her mind in all the questions and dilemmas she faced head on. The baby had kicked last night. It was the first time Beatrix had ever felt something move. Steiner had called it the quickening. Beatrix shivered at the thought. There really was something growing inside of her. The very idea blew her mind away. How was she capable of growing life when she had been the ender of others? She paused beside a tall statue of knights armor. It had been freshly polished and gleamed in the sherbet light swirling into the room. Carefully, Beatrix reached into her coat and felt the growing bump. The quickening was an important moment, Steiner had told her. Was it official, she wondered. Was she now truly a mother? The very label still felt so very foreign to her. She was trying, she truly was. Beatrix could tell Steiner was disguising his mass excitement. He remained cool and passive for her sake. She pursed her lips together. In a way, Beatrix felt like she was inadvertently punishing Steiner. That sweet man did everything for her and his shy, awkward ways were the most charming and comforting thing to the general. She knew she needed Steiner. Why was it so hard to love the small version of him growing inside of her? What held her back? These were the frustrating thoughts she always cycled back to. This was supposed to be natural, Beatrix thought. Every woman she'd ever known who had children naturally loved it, even before it was born. But the general blinked rapidly as she thought back on her own childhood.
Beatrix didn't see her father very often. He was quite busy working for the military. Despite being a high ranking, revered General, he never sent money home to her and her mother. Beatrix's mother did everything she could and the young girl watched her struggle. She sewed and stitched dawn to dusk. Their meals were always on time and warm, but the portions were never enough. Beatrix learned at a young age to never ask for seconds. She was always teased at school by the girls in plaid and satin dresses. Beatrix's mother was only able to make her meager dresses from the leftover scraps of her clients projects. If she wasn't being teased, Beatrix was avoided by everyone as if she had a plague. The war stories, victories and losses, cycled around endlessly. During the great conflicts of her childhood, her peers would listen to their parents discuss her father over supper. Some of the stories were quite frightening. Beatrix heard snippets of her father carrying a stick with an enemies head stuck to it. How he was a no-mercy general who even ordered the frightened mother's and babies to be killed. The local barber dubbed him Peter the Butcher. And in turn, that had children nicknaming the young girl Beatrix the Butcher, the absolute brute not a single child wanted to know. And her mother couldn't do a thing about it. The woman had no backbone, Beatrix had decided in her adolescents. She let people push her around and keep her on her knees for just a few coins a day. She was unable to combat clients who decided not to pay her for her time. She allowed for Beatrix to sleep in a cold, musty attic, remaining friendless and withdrawn. Beatrix's mother never spoke a bad word of her father. When he was home, for just a few days at a time, he would drink mead all day with his friends and then come home and be callous to his faithful wife. Beatrix sat in the attic during those times. She didn't even go to school. Her mother would climb the rickety ladder twice a day to place her meals beside her cot, just to save Beatrix from the choice words her father would have for her. He had wanted a son. The day came, when Beatrix was eleven, that her father had been defeated. It was rumored his head was on someone else's pike. The cruel children of the courtyard only teased her more. She was fatherless with a basket case for a mother. For a man who did nothing for the family, Beatrix's mother seemed lost without his meager presence. Beatrix was filled with a rage as she reached her teenage years. She stopped going to school when she was twelve. Instead, she went out to find oddball jobs while her mother laid on the ratty couch, staring at the exposed beams of the roof. Beatrix delivered newspapers and baskets of vegetables. She'd steal squash and cucumbers to fill her belly with in a hidden alley. When she turned sixteen, her mother succumbed to a broken heart. And when she was seventeen, their poor little house burned down after their neighbor spilled an oil lamp. Beatrix watched it all dissolve to ash. Her entire life was in the confines of that cottage. And she watched it become nothing. And that fire caught her belly alight and she left for the heart of Alexandria, where she vehemently swore by the sword, became quite skilled, and vowed to change the name of fear within generals. She forgot everything she knew of family life. She forgot if she even knew anything about having a family. All she could trust was the cool steel of her sword.
Beatrix lifted her eyes to the window. The sunset was slowly waning, conceding to the purple sky. The baby would know nothing of that life, Beatrix reminded herself. Her parents couldn't get to the baby. They couldn't get to her. She had shrugged their haunting presence away quite some time ago, but with the recent news of the pregnancy, she could feel them slowly creeping back over her mind. Beatrix always wondered if her parents ever truly loved each other. What was her mother like when her father had first laid eyes on her? Where had they met? How quickly had Beatrix come along? These were things that were never talked about. And she never asked. Her mother dutifully wore her gold band until the day she died. It had been her anchor and perhaps also her shackles. If her father had wanted a son so bad, why had they never tried again? Why was Beatrix an only child? Sometimes the woman wondered if she only helped fuel her father's rage. Just as he had when she had been in the midst of a battle, slashing and hacking, ducking and dodging, as if it was second nature. Many days, she was no different than her father. She was beginning to believe, however, she was just as much like her mother as well. The feelings of fear, being misguided, unprepared, at the mercy of it all only reflected the inner version of her mother Beatrix held. The general had always sworn to never let herself be that frightened again. To never let someone push her around or demean her. But as her hand caressed the growing bump in her belly, she could only wonder if her mother had been this frightened when she had become pregnant.
"Beatrix?" The general immediately shut her coat and turned to see Garnet holding a large manila folder to her chest, her eyebrows raised. Beatrix had been so wrapped up in her mind, she hadn't even heard Garnet's heels to the polished marble floor. "What are you doing inside this late? You should have been off hours ago."
"Steiner is away on business," Beatrix told her coolly. She pressed her hands into her pockets, being sure to push the coat closed. "I'm just making sure everything is in order."
"Mm, I suppose he took Zeke with him on this business," Garnet hugged the folder and for a moment, Beatrix saw pink come into her eyes. Perhaps it was just the waning sunset. "I suppose they will not be back tomorrow? A shame… Zeke is excellent help at the hearings."
"I'm afraid not, Your Majesty," Beatrix replied, her heart thudding in her chest. "I will be sure someone else of equal value is with you tomorrow morning."
"I am sorry to say, but Zeke is the most capable soldier on the Knights of Pluto," Garnet smiled, though it was quite small.
"Yes, he is," Beatrix could only nod. How dearly she wanted to shout, Zeke is only Zidane acting like a jackass! "Where is Sir Liam?"
"Oh, he is meeting with someone in town," Garnet told her. "Which reminds me, I need to ask Delta to ready some tea for us. I imagine it's quite chilly outside from the coat you're wearing."
"Summer is coming to an end," Beatrix nodded. "The weather guru's say we can expect the first frost in just two weeks now."
"That will be nice," Garnet said. "Don't be out patrolling too much later. The night shift will be switching on soon."
"Yes, Your Majesty," Beatrix replied. Hesitantly she brought her hand up to salute. It looked rather awkward as she twisted her body to conceal her bump. Garnet nodded politely before she turned and headed around the stairs to find the meeting room. Beatrix let out a long sigh after her departure. She pulled the coat back again and pressed her hands to her belly. The baby had moved again. Just the smallest little nudge. Beatrix could only stare as Steiner's words about the quickening echoed through her mind.
…
"… I didn't know what else to do, so I enlisted in the Knights of Pluto under the name Zeke Tisdoll. And it worked… for a week maybe," Zidane said. He was sat on the floor, leaned up against the side of Vivi's bed. A forgotten cup of tea sat beside him. Mikoto sat at the table, absolutely mesmerized by his tale. Steiner only watched him painfully recount it from a stool he perched in. Zidane had Vivi's attention the whole time. The small, crumpled Mage held his tea delicately and hung onto every word Zidane said.
"Wow… after all this time," Vivi shook his head, placing his tea on the cluttered nightstand. "We've all blamed ourselves for so long… maybe even each other. But you came back, just like you promised Dagger."
Zidane was quiet for a moment, his arm dangling off his bent knee. "Dagger doesn't actually know I'm alive, Vivi…"
The cabin was quiet a moment and only the hooting owls could be heard through the door they had left open to allow the draft in. "Even after the months that have passed?" Vivi asked. His voice seemed so full of wisdom, it had a purpose. He sounded much different than the Vivi he had asked to leave him behind. "You've seen her nearly every day and that still doesn't make you want to take the helmet off? Don't you want to hug her?"
Zidane sighed and stretched his legs out, feeling rather pathetic on the dirt floor. "Yeah, I know Vivi. I've heard it all before and I've been down that road a dozen times. Now it's starting to feel like I have to be Zeke. With each day passing, it's harder and harder to go back. It's like a river washing me downstream. I don't know how I'd explain all of this to her. And now with an impending revolution, I think I need to be another faceless soldier in the fight if it means I can protect Dagger."
"Revolution?" Mikoto and Vivi echoed at the same time.
"It's nothing to alarm you," Steiner held his hands up. "Revolution may be too strong of a word, Zidane."
"Okay, you're right," Zidane ground his teeth together. "A coup d'etat sounds more reasonable."
"What is a … coup d'etat?" Mikoto asked slowly, lowering her tea cup into her lap.
"It means some people want to remove Dagger from power," Vivi said from his bed. He shivered beneath his quilts.
"But that is unreasonable," Mikoto shook her head. "Why did you not send word sooner? Is this not something we should be concerned about? What… what about Her Majesty's safety?"
"I mean," Zidane huffed. "I think we got it under control."
"I can't imagine crowds of people unhappy with Dagger's ruling," Vivi propped himself up on his elbow. "She's a great queen. Are you sure, Zidane?"
"I'm sure," Zidane said, staring forward at the bushes across the walk path from the door. After a moment, he looked to Vivi with milky eyes. He hadn't slept in nearly two days. "You gotta trust me, Vivi."
Vivi's eyes traced Zidane's face before he nodded. "I trust you, Zidane."
"Master Vivi, I have an alchemy question I'd like to ask you," Steiner said, setting his tea on the nightstand. He leaned forward and Vivi only nodded to prod him on. "What kind of potion would have someone grow a pink ring in their iris that comes and goes?"
"A pink ring?" Vivi sounded surprised and he propped himself up against the headboard, clearing his throat. Steiner was quick to fluff his pillows. "Usually some kind of mind control potion…" He ran his hands together for a moment. "Mikoto, on the shelf behind you, there's a green leather-bound book called Alchemy of the Mind. Could you bring it to me?" Mikoto was prompt in running her fingers along the mass collection of books Vivi had foraged from all over the world. Zidane only watched tensely, his hands curling against the dirt floor. Liam had done something. Vivi would know. And he only found himself on pins and needles as he realized she was probably all alone with him, making eyes from behind her magical lenses. He only felt himself sinking deeper into mud pit he had created for himself. Mikoto brought the book to Vivi and seated herself on the foot of the bed, keenly interested. "You said pink?" Vivi asked as he carefully thumbed through the crumbling pages. "Not orange or red?"
"Definitely pink," Zidane said from the ground.
"Hmm…" Vivi paused on a few pages before skipping ahead a couple more. He went back a handful of pages, consulted something, and then flipped ahead again. "Huh, I suppose that should have been obvious," Vivi said, lowering the book in his lap. "Someone with a pink iris has drank a love potion. Let me guess… Eiko?"
"Her Majesty," Steiner told him with a somewhat rhythm-less voice. Vivi paused, only looking between the two of them.
"How do you reverse it?" Zidane asked, sitting up on his knees now. "We need to get Dagger clear minded again. This is all part of some ploy."
"Well…" Vivi still seemed quite perturbed as he looked over the page of squiggly writing and adept sketches and measurements. "There are several ways to make a love potion. The ingredients are all relatively easy to find. Mostly because people don't really make love potions anymore… it's a very outdated type of alchemy. Did you see the potion? The color could help us narrow it down." Steiner and Zidane looked to each other with pursed lips before they simply shook their heads. "The most common base of a love potion is buckweed. It grows along rivers and streams- anything with a rich fertile bank. If that's the case, Dagger needs to eat mint."
"That's simple enough," Steiner smiled, sitting up straight. "She loves lamb and mint sauce."
"But what if it's not that?" Zidane shook his head, raining on Steiner's parade. "I'm telling you, this is more intentional than Liam just trying to cozy up to Dagger."
"Are you suggesting Liam is part of this?" Steiner furrowed his brow.
"No…" He said, slowly, pressing his lips together. "I just think he's too lovesick to realize he's a pawn."
"Well," Vivi piped up again, running his finger along the page. "Another way to make it is with raw honey. That would mean Dagger needs to eat a peach." Zidane looked around the room before he went to the table, ripping a piece of parchment from a journal and scribbling with a quill across it. "A love potion with the base of toad skin will require an oglop."
Zidane scrunched his nose up and paused from writing. "Like… she has to eat an oglop?"
Vivi nodded. "You could… grill it, I guess, to make it taste better."
Zidane finished the sentence. "Okay, what else?"
"The rest of these potions start getting a bit more advanced," Vivi told him, turning the page with his delicate fingers. "Are you sure whoever made it would have the means to pull it off? It requires quite a bit of gear. You need the most perfect crystal vials and, in some cases, diamond beakers to sustain the potency."
"Might as well tell me so I have options," Zidane said, collapsing in the chair and impatiently dabbing the quill in a jar of ink. "I have to try everything I can. I'm running out of time."
"Okay, well, if the potion is made with oglop, Dagger will need the rib of a griffin."
"Oh, for gods sake," Zidane dipped his head as he painstakingly wrote it down.
"And if it's made with bonnet flowers, she will need Cactaur juice." Steiner's face seemed to lose hope with each line Vivi read from the book. "This one says if it has beets in it, then she will need to eat duck. Oh, and if it uses Chocobo's blood, then she needs lemon juice." Zidane nodded as he quickly jotted it all down. When Vivi did not speak again, the young man looked up from his notes, watching as Vivi pored over the book.
"Is that all?" Zidane asked, reviewing the list. It was a bizarre assortment of possible fixes.
"There's one more," Vivi said slowly, his eyes still darting across the writing. "It's not reversible with anything she ingests. It's made with sleeping weed, but the oglop blood reacts with it in a way it does not physically affect her, but only actively counteracts a portion of her working mind." Zidane grew cold. Sleeping weed was an easy commodity to find amongst the underbelly of Lindblum. Zidane always had some with him in his youth.
"What do you mean it's not reversible?" Zidane furrowed his brow, his heart thudding in his chest. "If that's what it is, is that game over? She's stuck like that forever?"
"The book is kind of vague…" Vivi shook his head. "It says there's nothing known that could reverse the effects. But if you know the subject well enough, perhaps there's a way to jar that part of her working memory back." Zidane sighed and rubbed sorely at his face. Steiner took a sip of tea, dismayed it had gone room temperature. Mikoto sat as straight as an arrow on the bed, looking between everyone in the room with her large eyes that still exuded an almost innocent curiosity.
"Perhaps it is like those books you gave me, Master Vivi," Mikoto said, holding her hands out. "The ones about the Cornelia-girl and the Marcus-boy. True love?"
"I'm sorry, Mikoto," Zidane sighed, keeping his flushed face turned towards the window. "Real life isn't like a love story you see on stage. This isn't Lord Avon's world."
"But she may be onto something," Steiner said, reaching for the book in Vivi's lap. The captain paced a few steps, cradling the old text in his arms. "It says 'Though there are no known herbs or foods the subject can ingest that assuredly reverses the effects, the sleeping weed interacting with the oglop blood is a known affect stemming from hallucinogenic alchemy. Subjects under this influence may be open to the feelings of familiarity or deja vu, as noted on subjects under the affects of hallucinogenic stimulants'."
"So, what, I just take off my helmet and suddenly she's normal again?" Zidane shook his head and furrowed his brow. "It won't just go back to normal."
"Of course it won't," Steiner held his arms out at his side. "You deserve to be slapped upside the face before you can expect a kiss."
Zidane sighed and sunk down in his chair. "Vivi… what was the most common love potion base?"
"The buckweed," Vivi told him.
"Then all Her Majesty needs is some lamb and mint sauce," Steiner grinned.
"I hate to burst your bubble, but she needs raw, wild mint," Vivi said. The captain paused. "Alchemy is very finicky. You can disguise potions in all kinds of things, but you need one ingredient, and one ingredient only to reverse them. If the love potion could fail from someone's diet, no one would ever make them."
Zidane looked out the window again at the waning evening light as a headache began to loom on the horizon of his skull. His mind was only filled with visions of Garnet with her polite smile, her rosy cheeks, her dark round eyes. But it only grew sour as he thought of Liam with his dark curled hair, his bright eyes, and knowing smirk. How dearly the young man wanted to beat the lights out of him, but he knew it would be wrong. He ground his teeth together as he thought about all the dilemmas laid before him. He was a coward, he told himself. He had made such a mess of things. He didn't know what to do anymore, though. He felt like he was backed into a corner and it was all his fault. Garnet was slipping through his fingers. Why couldn't he just show her his face? What made him so fearful to be caught licking his wounds and covering the bruises and scars? Why couldn't he just them all see his broken heart? Was it pride? Was it shame? He raked his hands through his hair and let out a sigh, keeping his face twisted away from the company in the room. If he couldn't save Garnet, he didn't deserve to be Zidane anymore.
"Master Steiner, Zidane," Mikoto stood from the bed and ran her hands along the quilts to smooth them over Vivi's legs. "Perhaps I shall show you where to find a warm meal. Master Vivi probably needs a good rest. We will just take the book and discuss our other options later."
"Yes, of course," Steiner nodded, having to remind himself not to salute. "Master Vivi, we will be here after your rest."
Vivi wriggled beneath the quilts, his hat crumpling as he pressed himself into the downy pillow. "Yes, please find me soon… I want to help Dagger, too."
"You already have, Master Vivi," Steiner smiled quite woefully.
…
Garnet sat prim and poised in the quiet sun room. The sun was slowly sinking behind the mountains. It was a beautiful evening. Garnet placed an elbow to the table in her lonesome, cocking her head to look over the bursting city below with its red thatched roofs and windy cobblestone paths. How she wished for absolutely everything of prosperity to come over Alexandria. Her head faintly throbbed as she thought about her kingdom. Though the houses had been rebuilt, the stones had been replaced, the fences erected, Garnet couldn't help but sense a feeling of anxiety, a riveting sense of being broken, never to be whole again, plaguing the city of Alexandria. They made reparations and life had seemingly moved on… but not entirely. She knew for every one good deed she was able to do for her people, there were only ten more things to be solved. It was a hard and tiring time as a Queen and every day, things seemed to grow bleary for Garnet. She was overworked and exhausted she told herself. But it never seemed to get better. Garnet let out a sigh, glancing to the tea that was growing cold now.
She figured Liam would have returned by now. Garnet pressed herself into her lap as she pursed her lips, carefully watching Alexandria. Sir Liam Winters. She wasn't sure what it was about that man, but she found herself quite fond of him. He had been there for her during a hard time in her life. Liam had actually made her birthday enjoyable. The young woman now only found herself dreading her birthday each year. It would only be another winter until the next one. All it did was remind her of something she felt she had lost. But he had made it bearable for her. It was obvious he cared for her. Garnet needed that, she thought. Her heart had been so guarded for a year, hanging by a thin thread that only made her bleed. Her hero of prevailing peace would always be there for her, somewhere deep in her heart, to make her thankful for the life she could go on to lead. But Liam was here for her now. Her hands twisted in her lap. Could she really believe that? She felt something stirring inside her. But she couldn't determine what it was actually telling her. Was she feeling something legitimate? Did she even know what she was feeling?
The door opened and Garnet came to her feet and straightened her shoulders. She put on a grin and turned but was surprised to see a soldier from Squad Beatrix at the door. Her long red hair had been braided into a plait that fell from her helmet. She must have been a new recruit, Garnet didn't recall her face. "Sir Liam will see you on the west garden balcony for tea."
"Oh, I have tea right here," Garnet told her, pressing her hands to the back of the chair. "I believe there was a mix up in communication."
"Sir Liam insisted," The soldier replied. Garnet was hesitant a moment before she began towards the door. "It's getting chilly, Your Majesty. Take your cloak."
Garnet reached for the green velvet cloak that laid across the dresser by the door and followed the soldier out. Down the stairs they weaved. The soldier occasionally glanced to the side of Garnet's face, but the young ruler was used to it and kept her eyes forward. The soldier stopped by the french doors and saluted. Garnet was slow to shrug into her cloak, the soldiers eyes never leaving her. Deftly, Garnet tied the satin bow off before she stepped out on the balcony, bathed in oranges and golden rays of waning sunlight. The garden table had a piping hot kettle of tea on it, along with fruit tarts glazed with a sweet syrup. Candles lined the balustrades and cluttered the table. The flames warmly illuminated the balcony as the light continued to fade away. Liam stood beside the table with his dashing smile, his dark curls bouncing in the cool breeze.
"Good evening, Your Majesty," He greeted, pulling a chair out for her. Garnet was still beside the doors, but a grin had come to her face. "I apologize for the last minute change in plans. I do hope I haven't inconvenienced you by bringing you to the garden this evening."
"What a lovely evening to change the plans," Garnet said, coming across the balcony.
"What a beautiful coat, Your Majesty," Liam gently ran his hands along her shoulder as she gracefully seated herself.
"I told you, you don't have to call me that," She watched as he seated himself. Her tea had already been served and sat enticingly before her, steaming on its handmade saucer.
"Oh, but I like to," Liam flashed her a pearly grin over the flame flickering between them. "It's who you are, after all. Look, Garnet, at the city in the last of the day's light. This is all yours."
"Yes… it is," Garnet's eyes sparkled as she gazed over the castle walls. "Alexandria is so beautiful. It's as beautiful as I remember when I was a child. Though, things seemed much bigger back then. I worry sometimes, Liam, that I'm not right for this kingdom or these people. How do I ensure what's right, like all of those before me, when the world is changing so rapidly? The world is so different now, even more so than just a year ago."
Liam was quiet as the frogs began to croak. The last of the sunlight was glancing off Garnet's round porcelain cheek. He shifted in his seat, reaching across the table to gingerly take her hand. She was surprised by his touch. Her big brown eyes seemed so unsure. "Garnet… you know I care about you, right?"
"Yes, you have made your intentions very clear," Garnet turned her hand to graze her fingertips along his wrist. "All of it has not gone unnoticed, Liam."
"And… do you trust me?"
She fluttered her eyelashes for a moment. "Yes, of course I do. Why are you asking me all of this, Liam?"
Liam smiled gently as he caressed his finger over her hand. "It's nice to hear the reassurance. I suppose I haven't been too secretive about my feelings. I think you're wonderful, Garnet. I want to spend as much of my time as I can with you. You're brilliant. I could listen to you talk all evening. You don't give yourself enough credit. And I just want to shower you in all the praise and love you deserve, Garnet." She felt her heart accelerate and a flash of blood come over her forehead. Garnet pulled her hand back, her cheeks emanating in the cool night that now surrounded them. "I'm sorry, was that too forward?"
"No, I apologize…" Garnet shook her head, hunching in her cloak. "I've just never done something like this before. The courting, the getting to know each other… it should all come so naturally and yet I haven't got a clue. The first time I ever felt anything like this before was… rather unconventional."
Liam watched her closely as she stewed in the orange flicker of the candlelight surrounding her. He ran his hand along his jaw. "What made you… love Zidane?"
Her dark eyes darted towards him and there a flicker of pink that was dashed out just as quick. It seemed like she had to think and she looked out over the garden where the fireflies began to dance between the velvet, waxy leaves. After a moment, Garnet shook her head and grinned, her eyes becoming glossy. "He jumped for me."
Liam was quiet before he cleared his throat. "Let's drink our tea, sweet pea. Let's enjoy this beautiful evening together."
"You're right," Garnet said as she untangled herself from the past. Momentarily, her headache intensified, but she reached for her cup. "Thank you for putting this all together, Liam. Such a sweet and wonderful gesture."
"I'd do anything for you, Your Majesty," Liam told her, watching as she tilted her head back and drank the tea. Anxiety riveted against his skin. She set the tea cup down and the pink began to sink through her dark eyes. Garnet looked across the table at him, somewhat still. "Is your tea alright?" Liam asked, keeping his voice steady.
Garnet grinned with her brightly streaked eyes. "Everything is fine, thanks to you." They were quiet for a moment in cool summer night. "I think… I love you, Liam. I've never said it to anyone before. Not even Zidane." This time, she felt nothing when she spoke his name. Liam could only he smile when he saw the way her face looked. All her angelic features were lifted up and she looked so genuinely happy. It squashed the guilt he felt and he reached across the table for her again. Garnet was accepting of the touch, offering both of her hands to him.
"With the first frost approaching, I'm not scared," Liam said with his smoldering smile. "Our love will keep us warm, my darling."
…
All kinds of creatures hooted and rustled just beyond the foliage that burst against the porch. The night sky was littered in stars that formed a collective milky belt scattered above. Zidane sat on the edge of the porch, his feet dangling just above the rhythmic creek. A bowl of noodles and veggies steamed beside him, but he wasn't hungry. Instead, he watched the stars. His feelings washed over him in bursts. He went through sorrow, frustration, anxiety, and exhaustion over and over again. Next to him, Mikoto had her back pressed to a beam. She had been watching the young man for quite some time as she sipped her tea. Steiner wasn't far behind them, sitting on a bench and eating his noodles slowly. Zidane sighed, gripping the edge of the porch.
"That is your fourth huff in twelve minutes," Mikoto said, swatting a bug from her face. Between the large fanned leaves, fireflies twinkled. "Something is on your mind."
Zidane lowered his head and his dark bangs dangled in front of him. He ran his tongue along his teeth. "That's an understatement."
"Is your meal not up to your standards?" Mikoto sat forward, her green jacket bagging on her thin frame. "I can tell the Mage to relight the fire."
"No, it's fine…" Zidane shook his head. But still, he didn't reach for the bowl. Mikoto's fingers tapped to the side of her mug before she sat back again, looking to the stars she watched every night. She took a timid sip, her eyes never leaving the sky.
"You said that life was not like the love stories Lord Avon wrote," She said. Zidane was still. "But I am sorry, I am failing to see how this is different. You love Her Majesty and she loves you. Why can you not be together?"
"Well, you've read the books, haven't you?" Zidane looked to her with pursed lips. "Cornelia and Marcus could only be together when they both died beside each other. And no matter how many times you read the book or watch the play…" Slowly, Zidane's eyes trailed towards the dark winding paths sprawled before them. "… you can't change any of it. All you can do is sit there and watch, knowing Marcus must die before the ending." Mikoto was quiet as she watched her tea steam. "Besides…" Zidane's voice cut through the night again. "If I can't reverse the potion, then it's really over, Mikoto. She'll love Liam for the rest of her life."
Behind them, Steiner's armor rattled as he came to his feet to lean against a beam, dabbing his face with a napkin. "Magic may be powerful and absolute, but it has its flaws, Zidane. It cannot control destiny."
"Yeah, well, what if she was destined to love Liam?" Zidane shrugged, shaking his head. "And fate had a funny way of making it happen."
Mikoto's slender fingers came to gently grab his arm and he looked to her serious blue eyes. "You know that is not true, Zidane. Why do you speak such lies to yourself? You and Her Majesty were meant to be."
"What makes you say that?" Zidane asked, furrowing his brow.
"Because you both love each other," Mikoto said, tightening her grip on his arm. "Anyone could see that by being around the both of you for a little bit. And if there is one thing I have learned about this strange new planet, it is that love is a force. Love makes all things possible, even for the most basic human. Without love, the humankind of this planet would be baseless and without cause. Is that not why you are doing all of this? If you did not love her, would you have even come back to us, just to watch from the shadows?"
Zidane was quiet again and looked through the canopy of trees, spying the full moonlight leaking through the foliage. An owl hooted and Zidane felt himself tense. "I do love her," He finally said without looking to anybody. "I'd do anything for her, but…"
"But what?" Mikoto asked softly.
Zidane shook his head and, surprisingly, smiled. "I don't know," He laughed. "Maybe I'm not right for her. Maybe Liam is. I love her, but I don't want to be king. But he'd gallantly wear the crown." He slid from the edge of the porch and stepped into the creek without a care. He sloshed through the water, the chilliness washing along his ankles. "That's what is so messed up about all of this. Damned if I do, damned if I don't, right? Even if she knows it's me, what would even happen? I can't be with her if I'm not the king. So what the hell am I even doing?!" He ground his teeth together and kicked through the water.
"It is love," Mikoto told him, setting her mug on the porch. "Love makes us do crazy things, so I have been told."
Zidane turned towards the porch, the water rippling away from his boots. He looked to the captain, who was only staring back at him with his arms crossed over his chest and his shoulder pressed against the beam. "Well? What do you have to say?" Zidane asked, holding his arms out at his side. "Are you waiting to call me a bumbling idiot, 'cause nows your chance."
"In a way," Steiner sighed, tilting his helmet back. "It's almost fascinating watching the way you bumble on. A year ago, you were quite the cocky and sure man. Now a year later, you doubt so much of yourself and practically everything you do. You're really going to let Liam win this, Zidane? You're going to force me and Beatrix to serve Her Majesty for the rest of our days knowing she's been duped by a potion into loving that wrench monkey?"
"Steiner-" Zidane arched his eyebrows.
"After everything I've done for you. And Master Vivi and Her Majesty, too," Steiner shook his head. "You weren't the only one putting your neck on the line for the people you cared about. We all did. Now you're sitting here telling me you can't be with her because she's a Queen? What has gotten into you? Planet to Zidane, are you in there? You're letting too much Zeke come out."
Zidane stared at Steiner with stony eyes before he sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets, feeling rather pathetic in the creek. "I deserve that…" He muttered. Beneath his hand, he heard the crumpling of parchment and slowly he withdrew the list he had hurriedly made earlier. Lemon juice. Oglop. Griffin ribs. Zidane held the letter tensely before looking back to Steiner. "I won't let her be under the influence of that potion the rest of her days. But… she's free to love him."
Steiner watched Zidane carefully. "She's not going to if we reverse the potion, Zidane."
On the path up ahead, the trio heard boots to the gravel and a Mage with a ball of fire in their palm emerged from the dark twisty forest beyond the central entrance. "Miss Mikoto, Master Vivi is awake."
"Excellent, I shall be there momentarily," Mikoto said, standing and forgetting her tea cup. She cast one more glance over Zidane, watching how the water divided around his legs. She then turned and left. Steiner grabbed the thick, aged alchemy book from the bench and approached the edge of the porch. After a moment of only staring at each other, Steiner threw the book towards Zidane. The young man caught it deftly, though he staggered and splashed through the creek because of its size.
"Study up," Steiner told him. "We cannot allow ourselves to be so easily out-witted."
The two were quiet, nearly solemn, as they walked side by side on the dark paths. The gentle breeze made the forest seem so alive. Splashes of milky moonlight came across their trail as they went to Vivi's cabin where the door had been left ajar. Carefully, Steiner pushed it open, where they found Mikoto on her knees beside the bed with her hands folded together. When she heard Zidane's dusty books come in through the door, she looked over her shoulder with a face that was gravely worried.
"He grows weaker with each rest."
Steiner was slow to come near the bed. Vivi's golden eyes were not their normal intensity and he laid in the bed sorely, resembling something rather broken. Zidane clutched the alchemy book against him with shallowed breaths as he dumbly entered the warm cabin. The captain dropped to a knee beside the bed, pressing a hand to his chest. "Master Vivi, your heart of pure gold, the exquisiteness of your character, will never flounder in a cruel world such as this. I am honored to know you-"
"Please, Steiner…" Vivi whispered from his pillow with his crumpled hat and wrinkled faded blue jacket. "Don't say goodbye to me."
"Master Vivi, I…" Steiner pursed his lips together. Numbly, Zidane set the book on the table and came to the foot of the bed. Tiredly, Vivi's eyes looked to him.
"We all really did it," Vivi said. Zidane's eyes grew wet at the sound and he struggled to control his breath.
"We did what, Vivi?" Zidane asked as the first of his hot tears began to streak his cheeks.
"We all survived, Zidane," He replied. "We didn't let Kuja or any of his tricks take us away. For so long… I had this feeling of failure that we didn't really do it… because we had to sacrifice you. But it wasn't all for nothing because you're standing here right now. You're broken… but you're still the Zidane I remember." Zidane lowered his wet eyes as a sparking tear glided off his jaw. "And Steiner, I know you'll keep doing what's right for Dagger and Beatrix… and all of Alexandria. I'll never forget how kind and accepting you were of me, even from the beginning of our travels." Steiner's face pinched in pain and he watched Vivi with eyes that regretted everything. "Take the book. Save Dagger."
"I will, Vivi," Zidane told him.
"And there's one more thing I need of both of you," Vivi said.
"Anything," Steiner reached for the edge of the quilts but stopped short, as if it were hot. Zidane watched him as the warm tears made his sight bleary.
"I want both of you to leave."
There was silence in the cabin besides the rustling foliage and hooting creatures. Zidane pressed his lips together and shook his head. "What…?"
"I don't want either of you here when it's my final moment," Vivi told them, slumping his head back against the pillow. "When you think of me, I don't want you to remember me like this. The world still needs both of you. Alexandria and our friends need you. It seems it's the end of the road for me but… I can't be sad. And I can't let you two be sad either. I may be scared, but I can't forget all you two taught me about being afraid. And whatever you're afraid of now… I hope you think about me and then do it." Zidane turned away from the bed as the tears fell down his cheeks faster. He approached the book, watching as his tears dribbled across the tired old leather. Even Steiner's head had dropped and he trembled before the crumpled Mage. Mikoto watched soundlessly. Zidane's hands curled into fists and he looked out the window of the cabin, wanting to scream. "Zidane." The young man was slow to turn to his dear friend. "You'll fix things. I trust you, Zidane."
Mikoto carried a torch ahead of Steiner and Zidane as she lead them back towards the dark forest. The Mages lifted their hands in respect as the two men bobbed past with red, scorching eyes. Zidane's fingernails dug into the book as they approached the opening of the forest that was so dense, moonlight could not find its way through. The owls hooted at Zidane openly and he felt his blood throb against his skin. Steiner was so numb. He was surprised his legs were even capable of carrying him. Mikoto turned towards them, the orange flame illuminating the side of her porcelain skin.
"I trust you know the way back to your ship," Mikoto told them. "I will… send word once there is something more to report." No one replied. "I will make sure he is comfortable and remain with him as he passes on to the other side."
Zidane's raw eyes looked into the forest that was as dark and twisty as his own future was forging out to be. "We'll be in contact."
He took a step forward, but Mikoto reached out, pressing a hand to his chest. "Please… take care of yourself, Zidane." He was quiet as he only nodded to Mikoto, brushing past her in the next moment to ford the sprawling forest before him. Steiner turned to take one more glance at Black Mage Village. The cabins looked so warm and inviting against the backdrop of a cold, rigid forest. The village was quiet and at peace. The creaking of the mill caught his attention and the captain's eyes followed the weaving, peaceful creek as it languidly washed by.
"Will you… send me Master Vivi's studies?" Steiner turned to Mikoto. The young girl seemed surprised, tilting the torch away from her face.
"You will continue Master Vivi's work?"
"I'll try to… for him," Steiner nodded. "If I cannot, there is always someone else that can. It's our turn now, Mikoto, to help give theses Mages the lives they deserve. Master Vivi is a testament to it. They were not somebody else's fool or little toy. They're fragile lives with feelings and dreams, just like the rest of us. They deserve more… like Master Vivi."
Mikoto looked over the flame of her torch to watch the moon as it sailed towards the center of the sky. "When you receive his letters and his favorite books… you will know what to do, Master Steiner."
"Thank you," Steiner bowed to Mikoto before quietly, and almost hesitantly, he began to brush into the forest. The twigs ground off his armor and he walked with stiff shoulders, willing himself to only look forward. Up ahead on the path, he could see Zidane's deflated figure ducking beneath the branches. The captain was determined to make things right. Unfortunately, he didn't know just how wrong everything was.