WARNING!
This is slightly… Spoiler-ish in nature? Kinda? If you don't want any kind of spoilers for My Master Ed, you should probably skip this one. If you're like me – and never hesitated to dive into spoilers head on – then you're welcome to it.
Read at your own discretion!
He was given a copy of the letter when he was twenty years old. The original had crumbled to dust long ago. But with alchemical methods, it was the same penmanship, scratched-out words and all. Even the smudges looked authentic. A letter from the legendary alchemist, Fullmetal of Xerxes, addressed as followed:
To Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist…
It was so bizarre, thought Roy, to read his name on paper alongside titles he had never earned and realize: in another lifetime, this was him. He was a Colonel once. A war hero. Or war criminal, depending on perspective. Just how insane was that? He couldn't picture himself killing anyone, ever – unless in self-defense. Or defending someone else, he supposed. Fighting in a war, though? Participating genocide? Roy got sick to his stomach just thinking about it.
But it was true. He had seen too much evidence to doubt. Over four hundred years ago, a time-traveler wrote a letter addressing Roy Mustang as his commanding officer.
It was crazy. It was also real.
There was so much personality in the letter. It just screamed 'teenager'. This was another unbelievable thing – Other Roy recruited a kid into the military? Was he brain-damaged? How could he not see how horrible of an idea it was?
Granted, after hearing some of the stories, he doubted Other Roy (as he mentally called that person) could have stopped the personified force of nature once called the Fullmetal Alchemist. But actively supporting it? That's just twisted.
I bet you would have overthrown the monarchy and installed democracy in Xerxes within six months from coming here. You'd probably even be the Goddamn president of this place by now. You sneaky bastard.
It was weird to be complimented and verbally bashed at the same time. But a blind person would be able to tell that the person who wrote this letter respected Other Roy a great deal. The amount of faith Edward Elric used to have in him was astounding.
You were always the strangest, most contradictory person I've ever met, you know that? The most dependable person in the entire government, and you irritated me to no end…
Reading his words, Roy had no doubt he would also be irritated by the bratty teen if they ever met face to face. And yet, he already felt strangely fond of this absolutely baffling person. Underneath his prickly surface, Edward Elric turned out to be a surprisingly kind and loyal individual-
...the second time we met and I tried to attack the Fuhrer for show during my State Alchemist practical exam…
-oh, and also completely insane. What the hell, kid?! How did Other Roy allow this! Not to mention his threats of sending a minor to a human experimentation facility! Although thankfully that, at least, appeared to be nothing more than an empty bluff:
...I was annoying enough to get me locked up. But Al? Nah. He was too sweet and nice. You were never even rude to him once, at least not that I can remember.
Every time Alphonse Elric came up, Roy felt a subtle ache in his heart. It was incredible how much pure, unadulterated love Edward poured into his his words as he spoke of his little brother. Clearly, Alphonse was someone really special. It was impossible to imagine Other Roy not being fond of the kid.
That's the weird part. I can't believe it took me four freaking years to figure out that under all that annoying, arrogant posturing, you were actually a decent person.
That… Roy honestly did not know how to feel about that part. Obviously, Other Roy would be… much different from him, personality-wise. Much more jaded, from his experiences. Wearing masks, as Edward put it. But acting so well that his own subordinate had no idea he was a decent person?
...You weren't that bad of a commanding officer. I probably would have picked you over all of these other assholes there, even if you weren't the one who found us. Even before I realized how much you were actually protecting us both.
But perhaps Other Roy simply preferred to speak through actions instead of words. Roy could see himself doing that, in dire circumstances. If he felt like every single thing he said was under the surveillance of his enemies. Still, he couldn't deny it was kind of sad.
You were a really good actor though, I'm not gonna lie. Playing a womanizing idiot and an arrogant bastard at the same time, and you did it perfectly.
That was just… uncomfortable to think about. Roy, playing a womanizer? While he had no doubt that in theory, he would be capable – he was charming enough, he supposed – that still would be… just, wrong. Not to mention embarrassing. And especially awkward in context of what Edward wrote about his relationship with Other Riza.
Were you secretly married to her? Was that another thing you didn't tell me because I was supposed to figure it out? I'd say she deserves better, but… I can see it.
Roy had to admit, he was curious about that bit as well. Were Other Roy and Other Riza together romantically? The two of them were currently dating, but he had no idea how their relationship could have progressed like if they were both in the military – especially when Other Roy was Other Riza's commanding officer. He doubted they would have risked their careers for a fling, so either they were serious about each other and really, really good at hiding it... or, more likely, they never crossed that line out of sheer pragmatism.
It made sense. Riza was independent and strong like that. And Roy would have never disrespected her decision.
...I didn't know how much Hughes meant to you. He really was your best friend, huh. Do you think you felt about him the same way I feel about Al?
Now, that was a humbling question. Of course, Maes Hughes was a good friend – even at his most annoying moments. Roy cared about him a great deal. But to be compared to Edward's practically legendary devotion to his brother? The one where he was willing to literally rip his own arm off to keep him safe?
Roy did not feel worthy of that statement.
...You were so annoying and smug and wore that idiotic grin like a freaking theater mask. And in reality, you were a guilt-ridden, suicidal veteran with a bleeding heart for two orphaned kids who committed the taboo. Just how many masks did you wear? How many of them did I ever see? And how did you hide that you actually cared about us?
Way to make it hurt, kid.
Roy could no longer lie to himself. Edward Elric clearly saw him as a parental figure, or at least an older-brother kind. It was both a very heartening and incredibly upsetting revelation, because Other Roy clearly failed in the father department in every conceivable way, except for not letting their evil government lock up a couple of kids for trying Human Transmutation out of sheer desperation.
Which honestly was a pathetically low bar as parenthood went.
I'm so lost, Colonel. I have no idea what I'm doing here...
...I lost count of how many times I wondered how you would have handled it. That alone should tell you just how desperate I am.
It just wasn't fair. None of the suffering Edward Elric went through was fair. He was just sixteen at the time. A sixteen-year-old is not supposed to be responsible for saving the world from destruction.
...Al is gone. He is not coming back. And now I have Van to take care of. I'm so scared I'm going to fail him...
This was ancient past, it happened four hundred years ago and Roy had never even met him, and yet he almost wished they could switch places just so the kid wouldn't be so Goddamn miserable!
I guess I have to swallow my pride and say it. I miss you, Colonel Bastard. You were always there for Al and I when we needed you.
Obviously I weren't, Roy thought bitterly. He wasn't there at any of the most crucial points. He was too late every time.
...I'm sorry I failed you.
Edward Elric had been given an impossible task, and considered himself a failure because of circumstances entirely out of hands made him responsible for single-handedly resurrecting a long-lost civilization.
He was clenching his fists in frustration. Other Roy – Colonel Mustang – was clearly the one who had failed him.
I'm just sorry.
Kid… you're not the only one.
Suddenly, despite being only twenty, Roy knew exactly what direction his life was going to take. Now, all he had to do was convince Emma Elric... and he had six years to do it.
Author' Note:
You know, I wrote this almost a year ago, and suddenly decided to post it just because? I was thinking to myself: no, I can't post it, it's too big of a spoiler! ...Then again, is it really?
I guess you guys can decide!
Take a wild guess what the spoiler I meant is in this! If you guess right, you get rights to privately ask a spoiler-ish question of your choosing! You pick, whatever it is, I'll try to answer – as long as you promise to keep it to yourselves! ;)
Thank you all for reading, please review if you liked it, follow and add to your favorites if you can, but most importantly – read on and enjoy!
Once again, Happy New Year everyone! Stay safe!