If you are reading this, good. It means I didn't end the universe. I never asked to become a time god. I never asked to be experimented on, maimed, and branded a temporal anomaly.

Wait, I am going too fast. If you *are* reading this, let's go back to the beginning.

July 03, 2003. On this day, in New York City, I was born to a normal, human family. Everything seemed to be going swimmingly for my two parents. They wanted a baby boy, and they got one. They would never have imagined what terrors would come in store for them in just a short while. My first 18 months or so were not that unique. I passed all of the major growth milestones and was developing quickly.

This is where things begin to get out of hand. You see, I was developing too quickly. I mean, what 18-month-old child is reading the daily post before he can even use the toilet? My parents were concerned with how quickly I was catching up in language, intelligence, and wit. This is when they had the idea to take me to the foundation.

"You know Jason, we really should take our son to the Foundation to see what is wrong with him. I am worried that he is becoming too hard to manage. I read an article saying he might have autism."

"Well, Shoshana, if our son has a medical condition, we should take him immediately to get cured! No matter how much it costs, we must do this."

This is where problems begin. Firstly, having autism is not a medical condition, but rather a difference in genetic expression. If they had known that at the time, I would not be in this mess, to begin with. Ranting aside, they took then two-year-old me to the Foundation, where reality as we know it would begin to change forever.

The Foundation is a horrible place, and I would never, ever recommend anyone go there. It is hell incarnate. The building itself is rather neat, with its classical structures, hospital-level sterilization, etc. but what they do inside is the stuff of nightmares. I was quickly brought into a room that belonged to a prominent physician. This physician's name was Luna.

She looked rather strange, I had never seen a purple human before, but she said that it was a medical condition. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith. From the diagnostic tests done by your son, it seems to me that he has a rather typical case of Asperger syndrome. Worry not, with the latest advances in technology, I can fix up your son in no time, and he won't be the retarded kid in class. I need two weeks to do my work, and then you can pick up your son."

"Sounds fine with me," both of my parents said in unison. Poor mom and dad. They signed me off to an otherwordly goddess, capable of many horrible things.

"I was trapped on the fucking moon for a millennium by my bitch of a sister, and now I have my weapon. Harmony elements? Try entropy. Once I tell Tirek about this discovery, we can both rule Equestria and even this pitiful reality." Luna thought to herself.

"Well, what do we have here little one? You must be smart. Here, play with this, while I begin to make you feel better. My name is Dr. Luna, and I will be fixing your sickness for your parents. You are in good hands."

Luna hands me a Rubik's cube that was on her desk, next to a picture of two unicorns. "Why would she have a picture of two unicorns? She is a doctor". I thought to myself. Even at 2, I knew that certain things seemed off. Must've been the autism, I guess. Anyways, after solving the cube in a mere 30 moves, Luna came back with a juice box and an obsidian pill. The pill looked like it came straight out of a horror movie.

"Take this pill, child. It will enhance the effects of what I am about to do." Luna said.

She carefully opened my mouth and inserted the pill. I took the juice box and drank since I remembered taking a pill before when I had an ear infection. The pill tasted like dark chocolate. I thought it would have done something as soon as I took it, but it did nothing.

The phone rang. "I have to take this, kid, one minute". She walked over to her desk and picked up the telephone?

"Well, Tirek, I was waiting to talk to you. I just hit a fucking gold mine. After setting up this "foundation" 30 years ago, we have finally found the Terran candidate we were looking for. He is a two-year-old human male, with the perfect brain frequency humans have this disease called autism, which enhances their intelligence exponentially, this kid had the alpha variant of it. His body won't reject the time dragon DNA, and he will become a god. I gave him the initiation drug, and once I put him through the temporal field, we have our weapon. After 990 years of having my true body on the moon, and figuring out how to possess a human body, we might finally be able to do what we wanted 1000 years ago."

"So your telling me a two-year-old child with a disease is our guy? What a world we live in. You think Tartarus would have taught me anything, but I am stuck with this idiot Discord. Hate him. That guy was the first experiment you did, and that turned out EXCELLENT for everyone involved. Anyways, don't fuck this one up." The line went flat.

Even for a smart kid, I didn't know what happened on the phone, I was too busy drinking the juice box to pay attention.

"All right, time for the treatment. Come with me." She pushed a hidden button on her desk and the bookshelf on her wall slid down, revealing an elevator shaft. Luna grabbed my hand and went into the elevator with me. She pushed the button for the bottom floor, labeled "Authorized Personnel Only". The elevator began to descend, and I was wondering what exactly this treatment was going to be. My mother told me it would be something called ABA therapy, where I learn certain social scenarios through practicing them. Guess not. After an awkward moment or two in the elevator, we reached the bottom floor. The door opened, and we walked out. In front of us was a very strange contraption. A giant circle, possibly a gate, some 10 meters high, connected with wires and a lot of fancy technical equipment. In front of the gate was a chair the size a toddler can fit in. Luna put me in the chair and strapped all of the restraints onto me.

I asked, "What exactly are you going to do to me?"

Luna chuckled. In a sing-song voice, she responded: "I am going to open a magic door, and when you enter this door, you will feel better."

She quickly changed tune: "Start the temporal generator!"

Nothing happened at first, but I heard a loud whirring sound, possibly a motor working. A giant screen lit up above me, showing the progress left before the temporal portal would open.

"5% complete"

Luna put on safety goggles and went behind a screen.

"15% complete"

The gate began to spin, rapidly, but no portal appeared.

"33.3% complete"

All of a sudden, my blood began to boil. I didn't know why, but it hurt, really badly.

"50% complete, starting portal"

Sparks began flying everywhere as the portal began to activate. At the same time, my skin began to harden and it looked like I was getting scales.

"66.6% complete, transformation in progress"

My back began to hurt. A lot. I reached back, and I felt wings.

"80% complete, imbuing time power into the subject"

I began convulsing rapidly in the chair, blood running down out of my nostrils. I heard a ticking noise inside my head, but I wasn't sure if anyone else heard it.

"95% complete, an EMP will fire, disabling all electronics once the portal is ready, please be careful."

I am so fed up.

"Wh-what are you doing to me. Why do I feel like I am on fire? I feel worse, not better!"

Luna snapped: "Shut up you punk kid, I am the doctor, remember? I know what I am doing."

"100% complete, we have a time god"

As soon as the robotic voice ceased, the chair lunged me forward into the portal, which was orange and red in color. I felt like I was burning inside. The portal exploded upon my entry, killing everyone in the Foundation, except for Luna, whom I could have sworn looked like the unicorn in the picture. Everything went black.