Gordon's vivid green eyes stared out the window. Alyx watched him carefully, as he seemed to be able to see far out beyond the horizon. She watched as his chest rose up and down with each subtle breath he took. His hands rested on the arms of the chair, his trigger finger twitching ever so slightly.
He suddenly seemed so... small. Sure, his frame was smaller without the HEV suit on, but as he sat across from Alyx, it dawned on her how... average... he looked, like he was just some normal, nerdy looking guy.
Just a guy.
Just a guy who had carried the weight of the world on his slender shoulders.
Her heart ached thinking about all he must have seen and done to survive. She couldn't say she wished it had never happened, not now, not since it all had brought him to her. But what now? With the destruction of the Borealis and the apparent "peace" that followed, what would they do now? What would Gordon do? He couldn't exactly just go back to being a theoretical physicist in this post-apocalyptic world could he?
Could he?
Alyx noticed Gordon's hands ball up into fists suddenly, his brow furrowing.
"Hey," she said softly. "You ok?"
Gordon turned his head and looked at Alyx, blinking as though breaking from a trance. His hands relaxed once more as his glance fell to the table. "Yeah." He said, barely above a whisper.
Alyx wasn't convinced, but decided not to press further. She watched him as he looked down at his right index finger as it scratched at a loose thread on the arm of the chair. He seemed lost in thought. Alyx wished she could get inside his brain and know his thoughts. He shared so little of them, and those thoughts he did share never seemed to be the full story. Everyone around knew Gordon was intelligent, more so than any of them, but because he couldn't make pointless small talk like the rest of them they looked down on him somewhat, like he was a social pariah. It was good social awkwardness, nay, disinterest that was a kind of magnet for Alyx. She was naturally curious, always wanting to tinker with things to find out how they worked. Gordon was the ultimate puzzle to be solved. Since the start of their relationship she had been able to peel back a few layers of the Gordon Onion, but each layer left her even more curious and intrigued. She wanted more.
"You're more quiet than... normal." Alyx hesitated.
Gordon looked up at Alyx, his gaze meeting hers. "Mm." He grunted, throwing a quick glance out the window before letting his gaze fall on Alyx once more.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Alyx hesitantly proposed, more or less knowing what the answer would be. She watched as Gordon leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. He sighed. Alyx had told Gordon time and again that he could talk to her, she could be his safe place... if he let her. He ran a hand through his short auburn hair, leaving scraggly bits of hair out of place. He lifted his head, not meeting Alyx's eager gaze. Biting his lower lip he shook his head slowly to indicate no.
A lie.
He looked away with a worried expression on his face. Alyx watched as his Adam's apple moved up and down as he swallowed. "Gordon," Alyx started, wanting to press further but knowing that if she did he just shut down at the pressure to speak. "You can talk to me." She added weakly.
Finally, Gordon looked up, his eyes meeting hers. He briefly hesitated before he whispered, "He's still here."
To Be Continued...