Chapter Fourteen:

I looked down at the red dress I'd put on, much tighter than anything I'd usually wear, and took a deep breath. I was filled with nerves as well as anxious butterflies, and I didn't know if I was doing the right thing, but Gemma seemed to think that I was.

She'd gotten sick of me crying, sick of the pity-party that I'd been throwing myself for months, and she'd finally lit a fire under my ass and told me that she'd set me up on a blind date with someone that she knew. As she'd put it, I wasn't going to get over her son if I wasn't going to put myself out there, and at least try to get 'under someone else', so she had done it for me.

I walked into the nice restaurant and looked around, then locked eyes with a handsome brunette who was sitting at a table by the corner in a button down shirt and a pair of black slack pants. He was the opposite to Jax, well put together and clean cut like he was a business man, something that I never would have expected for Gemma to pair me with for an evening out.

When I got to the table he stood up and smiled. "Are you Ellie?"

I nodded my head and shook his outstretched hand. "Michael, I'm presuming?"

"That would be me." He pulled my chair out for me, a kind gesture that told me that his parents had raised him to treat a lady nice, and I sat down. "You look beautiful tonight, Ellie."

"Thank you." I looked around at the candle-topped tables and listened to the sound of light jazz playing through the background. "Wow, this is fancy, isn't it?"

When he agreed and sat back down at the chair across from mine, I thought about how it was the exact opposite of my first date with Jax. Then I cursed my brain for thinking about him when the whole point of the date was to try and forget about his existence.

"So, Gemma tells me that you're a singer from Georgia?" Michael asked to break the easy silence we'd found ourselves in.

I chuckled. "I sing a little."

"She said that you left Georgia because a producer heard your band, only wanted to sign you and you broke up because they got ... well she said something that I won't repeat." He prodded lightly.

I frowned. "Woah, for someone who doesn't like her secrets bein' shared, doesn't she have a big mouth?"

"Sore subject?" He cringed.

I smiled at the waiter who bought us a bottle of wine that Michael had ordered when I'd first arrived and waited for him to pour our glasses so I could chug it before I answered. "Not really, what she said was true. We were big in our little town, a producer came to one of our gigs and liked my voice. He tried to sign me, I was loyal to my band, and we broke up anyway because they were hurt that they weren't offered the contract with me."

"Even though it wasn't your fault?" He raised an eyebrow. "How does that make any sense?"

"People do strange things when they're hurtin'." I waved my hand to signal that it wasn't a big deal. "It worked out in the end, anyway. I moved to Charmin', opened my own shop, the rest is history."

"I do have a question about that. How does a good girl from Georgia who's the lead for a band move to a new town and open her own tattoo parlour?" He grinned.

"I was an apprentice back at home, just did the band on the side for fun." I explained. "Everybody at home hated it, but mama and daddy always supported me. Apparently I didn't look like I should own a tattoo shop, since I didn't have any tattoos."

"Oh, so you've got one now?"

I felt my Crow burn on my ribs and cringed. Michael noticed the change of attitude right away and changed the subject, and I would forever be grateful that he didn't pry.

Michael was lovely. He was kind, held my hand and laughed at all of my terrible jokes. He asked all of the right questions about my family back in Georgia and how I'd grown up, he'd even asked to see photographs of Larry and had told me about a pitbull that he'd rescued from a shelter when he was in his teens. He was lovely.

And he was boring.

He worked a normal nine-til-five job at an accounting firm, saw his parents every week for dinner, had a little sister who was the cheer leader at her high-school. He'd been the captain of the football team, something he didn't gloat about but mentioned in passing like it wasn't a big deal.

I knew that, if I hadn't met Jax, he would have been the kind of guy that I would have settled down with. Mama and daddy would have loved him if I'd taken him home, he would have been the perfect son-in-law and given me a safe and stable life.

But I had met Jax. And the excitement that he'd brought to my life was something that, as I sat in the restaurant that was plagued by upscale guests and fancy food, I didn't want live without.

After he'd paid for our bill he walked me out to my car and smiled down at me. "I had a wonderful time tonight, Ellie, I'd like to do it again."

"I did, too." I said honestly. "I'm thinkin' of headin' back to Georgia to see my family in the next few days, but I could call you when I come back into town and we could set somethin' up?"

He was eager to give me his phone number, was respectful and didn't even try to pull a move when he kissed me on the cheek, and shut the door to my car for me.

As promised, I drove straight to Gemma's house after I left the restaurant to give her all the gossip about how my night had gone and what had happened. She answered the door with a disappointed frown. "I really thought he would knock you off your feet and you would be on your back in his bed right now."

"No, I ain't on my back in anyone's bed right now." I huffed when I walked past her and beeline for the kitchen where I knew she would have at least one bottle of wine in the fridge.

She got the glasses out while I opened the wine, then followed me back to the table so that we could sit down. "How was it, apart from the lack of sex?"

"It was great." I mumbled after I'd taken a sip. "He's lovely. He's probably the most charmin' man I've ever met. The whole time he just asked me questions about myself. He even laughed at my jokes."

She nodded. "But?"

"But the whole time I was with him, I couldn't get your stupid son out of my fuckin' head." I shook my head and groaned. I'd noticed that the more time I spent around Gemma, the more I cursed.

Before I'd moved to Charming and met her, I would have gone blood red and my mama would have smacked me with a rolled up newspaper if she heard me say anything worse than 'heck'. Gemma had brought out a rebellious side to me when she'd introduced me to a world that wasn't ruled by church and sweet tea, and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.

"Baby." She gave me a comforting smile. "You've got to stop going around in circles here. You either have to forgive him and make it work, or you've got to let Jax go. You can't just let him rule your life forever."

I knew what she'd said was the truth because I'd told it to myself a hundred times over the course of the months that we'd been apart, but it didn't make hearing it any easier and I drained the rest of my glass. "I know. I do know that. I just wish that I could tell my heart that and make it listen, the stubborn thing."

"Yeah, well the heart knows what it wants." She refilled my glass for me. "Unfortunately, it doesn't always listen to your head, even when you know-"

The front door opened and she frowned in the direction of the noise, footsteps echoing down the empty hallway as whoever had come over made their way towards us.

I knew who it was before he even stepped into the room, and I felt my shoulders tense when I was met with the sight of gelled-back blonde hair and big blue eyes.

"What are you doing here, baby?" Gemma got to her feet and greeted her son with a kiss on the cheek, but there was a cold tone to her voice that wasn't hidden.

Jax didn't take his eyes off me. "I was just out on a ride, saw El's car so I thought I would stop in."

Gemma snickered something under her breath, then pointed towards the door. "Well you've got to go, we're having a girls night and-"

"It's okay, Gem." I ignored the look of relief on Jax's face, he'd obviously misunderstood and thought that we would have a conversation. "I should get goin', anyway. Larry will be waitin' on me to get home."

The older woman turned to me with a frown on her face. "You just got here, we've only had two glasses of wine."

"I had some at the restaurant." I got to my heel-clad feet. "If I have anymore I won't be able to drive."

I made sure not to touch Jax when I gave Gemma's cheek a kiss goodbye, and avoided his eyes when I pushed past him and made my way to the front door. I should have known that not even Gemma could stop her son when he had his mind set on something, because he followed me out to my car and stood in the driveway while I fished my keys out of my handbag.

"You look beautiful, El." He said softly. "Where've you been?"

The defeat in his voice told me that he already knew where I'd been without having to speak, but I did anyway. "Gemma set me up on a date."

He sighed. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yes." I answered and tried to pull my door shut behind me when I got into my car. "He was very lovely."

"Are you going to see him again?" He held the door open.

For the first time since the kitchen, I made eye contact with him and saw the way that his eyes pleaded with me to say no. He was silently begging me to tell him that I wasn't going to go on a second date, and part of me wanted to call Michael and apologise for leading him on when my heart was buried elsewhere.

But not even his blue eyes were enough to make me forget what he'd done, and the image of Tara's face swam to the surface of my mind. "Yes. Now get out of the way."

"El, you're my Old Lady." He didn't budge. "You need to talk to me, you need to let me fix this. I fucking love you, and I know that you love me, too-"

"I do love you, Jax. But I need to get over you, don't you understand that?" I snapped. "You broke my fuckin' heart. You broke me. I'm not your Old Lady, I'm not your girl anymore! You didn't accidentally smash my favourite lamp or stay out later than you were supposed to without calling, you fucked someone else. You can't fix that."

Jax's eyes began to water and I looked away from him because I didn't want to see him cry, but saw him light a cigarette out of my peripheral vision. "I know I fucked up, baby, and I'm so sorry. And I'll do anything, but I need you to forgive me. I need to make this better. I can't fucking sleep without you, I can't think, I'm going crazy, Ellie. Happy won't even talk to me if it's not about the club. Please."

I tugged my door again and he let it go, but bent down to look at me through the opened window. "Please, El. Please just give me the chance to make it up to you and fix it."

"No." I put my car in reverse. "Jax, you broke us. There's nothin' to fix, it's over."