Fuzzy. Peaceful. Calming, yet overwhelming. The overly sensitive feeling of kissing over and over again fills up my head like it would in a dream. I never thought of myself as a romantic type, but in this moment, all I can think about is how good it feels. Izuru Kamukura's kisses that I so rarely get to recieve. We've been officially dating for a couple months now. Even in this despair inducing city, it feels like everything will be fine as long as we're together, as cheesy as it sounds. Not much has changed. Izuru is slowly but surely getting better at showing and understanding emotions. The warriors of hope are still having their fun. Our pet cat is being cute. Everything is strangely routine in it's chaos.
Izuru and I don't do much different than we did when we first started dating. Talking late at night, cuddling treatments when Izuru is comfortable with it, and overthinking everything. However, for once in my life, I'm not worried about my luck cycle. Around him, I'm safe. His good luck far outweighs mine. That's just another reason that I've fallen for him. Admittedly, it was just his talents and hope at first, but now I know it's him as a person that's caused me to feel like this. I don't understand why he puts up with me. He says I'm not as boring as the others, but I don't know how far that can go. Of course, Izuru knows how much I overthink. He tells me that he loves me more often, then apologizes for not knowing how to show it. Seriously, I'm so lucky to be with someone as perfect as him. I couldn't pray for anyone better. After everything, I never expected to find romance in a place like this.
Right now, we're in that fluffy bed of his. Kissing repeatedly while our cat is probably hiding. I'm not sure when it'll end, but I'm trying to stop from running out of breath. Izuru is rarely this affectionate physically, so I have to savor this moment. I'm getting too excited. Any second now it'll be over, and we'll go back to talking like nothing happened. That's how it usually goes. Maybe he gets too overwhelmed or bored? I wish he wouldn't stop. Izuru's overly warm hands hold my cold ones above my head while he's on top of me, sweetly deepening the kiss. Either part, I can happily play. I don't care what role he chooses, I just want more of him. Although, I shouldn't. I should be appreciative that I got this far in the first place. In a gentle manner, he pulls away. That entire interaction has me gasping for air. "Sorry. I got carried away." His monotone voice speaks softly while taking his hands back. Yeah, I knew that wouldn't last much longer.
"No, it's okay." My voice shows how out of breath I am. God, how annoying. I'm not sure if it's my bad health or lack of experience that causes it. "Perhaps we should sleep. It is getting late." Izuru spoke after a minute. Hm... Instead of that, I want to keep going. He knows that, right? Maybe he's testing to see how much I can endure. I don't want to ever stop feeling wanted by the Ultimate Hope himself. Especially not now. Gently, so that he can stop me if he wants, I kiss him again. Feeling that soft hair in my palms as I hug him closer. Just like that, we continue like we were. Next thing I know, he's got me on top of him. Is he aware of what he's doing? Without even trying, he's making me lose myself again. Trying to hide my overthinking, I keep kissing with my hands in his hair.
I'm gathered up in his lap, safely yet freely. My hands playfully pull on his tie, tightening it around his neck. Just as a tease. "Mm-" His sudden movement got me in the right place. That's when I feel it; he's... hard now. Heh. "Oh, what an interesting noise. Are you really excited because of me?" I look in his pretty eyes while speaking. He's not expressive at all, but I can read him better than anyone else. Those warm hands gently lay on my thighs while he looks away. Probably thinking of what to do. God, he's so cute. Without much thought, I start moving my hips to tease him. He gasps and holds back another noise. We still have our clothes on. He's got to be almost as frustrated as me.
"Komaeda." Izuru saying my last name still brings a smile to my face, although he knows he can use my first name. We're working on being more casual. "Yes?" I reply sarcastically, I can tell he's holding back his reactions. "You make it quite difficult to hold back." He speaks somewhat quietly. "Still trying to hold back after all this? I don't know if I should be impressed or annoyed." I answer with that smile still on. Red eyes look back at me. Again, they have difficulty emoting, but I'm picking up something. Embarrassment? Hm, not quite. "I don't want to hurt you." Stopping my movements, I sense the worry hidden inside him. Hm... Can't believe he's actually worried about that of all things. Strangely sweet. I put my freezing hand on his cheek, something I've learned he likes due to being so warm. "Hey, you're not going to hurt me, hon. You shouldn't worry about that."
Izuru put his hand over mine, holding it over his cheek. "I..." His free hand pet along my back. "I love you." Although he's been saying that more often, I still get surprised every time. I understand how difficult it is for my lovely to express his feelings at all, especially things as complicated as love. So every time he says it, I know he wouldn't be lying. "I love you, too!" With that, I kiss his forehead and leave a trail down his face to his lips. We start kissing again. This time, the knowledge of being wanted, genuinely wanted, creeps back into my heart. It causes the mood to transform from sexual frustration to belonging. His hands go under my shirt, the feeling making me even more blissfully at peace. "Will you get too cold of I take it off?" He asks while pausing. "Haha. No. You're overthinking this." I take it off myself before he can answer.
I move so Izuru is on top again. Something tells me I'm not going to have the chance to be in full control. Not now. Pulling at his tie again, only this time it's to take it off. I'm so happy that my hands are lightly shaking while I unbutton his shirt. God, who knew it would end up like this? I always thought I would lose my virginity in some pity fuck situation, but luck is on my side this time. I never thought it would be with someone who cares about me. To be honest, I thought I'd die before ever getting the chance. Now I'm here with someone that I know I could spend my entire life with, regardless of how long I have left. I'm in love with him. I know it's cheesy, our relationship is young and I'm definitely not worthy of it, but I'm in love. Sometimes the feeling and knowledge of it overflows my heart again and I can't stop smiling.
Right now the feeling is there, possibly stronger than ever, but instead of smiling or crying, I just can't stop kissing him. He wants... me? Out of all the people he could have, which is just about anyone, he chose someone so below him. Instead of making me worry like usual, I know that he means it. Especially now that he's willing to touch me. Izuru is playing with me. Teasing me, through my pants. Probably as punishment for earlier. "A-ah." That sweet sensation of knowing he wouldn't do this with anyone else makes it so much better. I'm his first, he told me before. Soon he takes off my pants and plays with me for real. So weird having someone else stroke me, but definitely not a bad feeling. "So skinny." My mind doesn't have time to comprehend what Izuru said before he starts kissing up my chest to my neck. Oh god. Surely this is what heaven is like. Being close to my chest, I'm sure he can hear my heart pounding. I grab onto his hair, pulling it lightly. Only to mess with him.
Without much warning, Izuru put his fingers in my mouth while leaving tiny marks on my neck. A feeling I wouldn't guess that I'd like. All of this is like a dream. Being touched by him. I couldn't be happier. "Relax yourself." He says as he takes his fingers out. I understand what he means. I'm trying not to be nervous. Oh wait, I haven't done anything to him. Isn't he getting bored? Before I can ask, he starts fingering me. Part of me was expecting pain, but it was quite the opposite. Surprisingly fun. Teasing me and fingering me at the same time? Izuru is making me lose it. I don't hold back any noises, even if I wanted to, I don't think I'd succeed. All I can think to do is to go back and kiss him when I get too loud. It's too good. All of it. I can't take anymore. Izuru is just teasing me at this point. God, I can't even tell if its on purpose, but it's still working.
"I-Izuru." I barely manage to say between groans. Being sure to use his first name, mainly because I can't manage to get out his longer last name. "Hm?" His face has a bit of hunger in it. Like he just found out what lust feels like, which is definitely possible. I don't think anything could prepare me for that look. That look almost sent me over the edge, but he stops before I get there by taking his hands completely away from me. Huh? Is he trying go drive me crazy!? I can feel my body crying for more. The look in his face is still there to egg me on. "Please..." I manage to breathe out the word. Grabbing onto his shoulders in an attept to calm my body down, I bring him closer. "I... I want you." His cheeks turn a light red after a second to comprehend. Hm? Is he really blushing? No, maybe I'm imagining it. "I want you so bad, I can't take it anymore."
Izuru's face has that blush, imaginary or not, and the lustful eyes. It's weirdly fitting, yet so foreign on him. My fabtasies couldn't come up with that. "Tell me if anything hurts, okay?" He asks so sweetly, even now. Instead of answering him with words, I pull on his hair again. That does it. Without a second's hesitation, he starts kissing me and taking off his pants. My body is wanting this so bad, but I'm partially worried. Well, there's no turning back now. Holding my knees to my sides, he lines himself up. Using more spit as lube, it gives me time to mentally calm myself. I don't care if it hurts. All I want is for him to enjoy it. Although, I've been selfishly doing nothing this whole time, I truly just want him to have fun. He deserves it.
"Ready?"
"Yeah. I've been ready."
Carefully, slowly, Izuru pushes himself in. Surprisingly, it's not nearly as painful as I thought it'd be. He's really in. Inside... me. Before moving, he holds one of my hands, lacing our fingers together. "Are you okay?" He asks. I nod, having that loving feeling wash over me all over again. "You can start moving." I say while holding his other hand in the same fashion. Obeying almost immediately, the thrusts start coming. As soon as they did, he starts hitting that spot like he automatically knew where to hit. Over and over again, causing my eyes to water from the overstimulation faster than I ever expected. Again, I can't help but moan, probably annoyingly so. I never knew that love and lust could mix together in real life, yet that's what I'm getting overwhelmed with. The careful yet fast thrusts amplify that.
The overthinking from before all gets drowned out by this pleasure. It feels better than I thought. The mix of positive emotions make the physical pleasure even better. "N-Nagito." Izuru groans my first name almost out of nowhere. His face actually showing something; pleasure. Hearing him groan at all, but especially that, is better than I ever imagined. The thrusts, our hands still connected, his subtle groans, all of it is making me go over the edge. I can't stop moaning. God, why am I so loud? "I-Izuru! I... I'm close." No warning, he starts moving as fast as possible. Hitting that spot so much, I don't stand a chance. His hot hands on my hips now, he moves so fast my mind can't keep up. I end up cumming so hard, my ears start ringing.
After a minute of trying to catch my breath, I realize the cum itself got all over my stomach. Izuru also ended up finishing and it's dripping everywhere. God. I was so out of it, I didn't even notice. Talk about a mess. "Are you okay?" Izuru asks again while handing me some tissues. "Okay? I'm estatic! I'm so lucky to not only go all the way, but I also got to see you look all excited. Bet no one has ever seen that before!" I start cleaning myself up while saying that. I probably should just bathe this mess away. My hair is being ruffled before I can bring it up, one of his favorite things to do. "Truly, I'm the lucky one here."