A/N:
Hello Lovelies!
I'm so happy to be back to writing! I have most of this story outlined and I'm so excited to finish writing it!
I know this first chapter is super short, but I wanted to get this published while I continue working on it. I promise future chapters are going to be much longer!
This story will contain lemons later in the story, just a warning!
A lot of the events from Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse are the same, but a few things are different. I wanted the characters to be a little older, so Bella and Edward met in a college class. Edward was 19 when he was turned. Bella and Jacob are the same age, but 20 at the start of this story. A few of the previous events may be altered a little bit, but not much.
As always the disclaimer: I do not own any of the original Twilight characters, this is just a work of fiction for entertainment.
Please read and review! I would love everyone's honest opinion! I hope ya'll enjoy!
Chapter One: Edward Cullen
My heart stopped for a moment and then restarted, beating rapidly in my chest. My mouth went dry and a low drumming sound had started in my ears. I couldn't believe I actually did it. After so many restless nights, trying to ignore what my heart was saying. After so many exhaustingly long days of faking a smile and pretending. Always pretending. I thought that I could go through with it, for the sake of those I cared about. But I knew, a small part of me feels like I always knew, I couldn't go through it. So I had finally done it and I felt ill and elated all at the same time.
I had finally told Edward Cullen I couldn't marry him.
I don't know how Alice didn't see it coming, but I'm glad she didn't. She would have tried to convince me otherwise. She and Edward would have worked up a scheme to get me to go through with the wedding.
My heart wasn't in it. It hadn't been for a long time. After the chaos of Italy and then the fight with Victoria and the newborn army, I hadn't had time or allowed myself to really process what I wanted. But after Edward proposed, it really solidified that he was not what I wanted.
I wanted the sun and the warmth. I wanted comfort and strength but also passion. I wanted the one person who built me up and never let go. The one person who made my heart weep with happiness and accepted me, faults and all. The person who supported me but allowed me to be my own person.
Jacob.
At first, I had pushed my feelings aside. After the promise I made to the Volturi, I knew I could not drag him or the pack into my mess. The mess I had willingly stepped into because I did not Edward Cullen to die due to a miscommunication. That vow I had made to the insufferable Volturi was a constant reminder hanging over my head that my time was limited. When we came back from Italy, I felt distanced from Edward but I felt like I had no other choice. I had gone across the Atlantic to save him, and hurt Jacob in the process. And then not long after that disaster, Victoria and her vicious army decided to strike. I didn't want the wolves fighting, but it wasn't my decision to make.
The night with Jacob in the tent was when I knew. Being in the sleeping bag next to his warmth was the most at home I had ever felt. I couldn't give Jacob up. I had been trying to do the right thing. Let Edward turn me into a vampire so the Volturi would not come to Forks and attack those I love. I did not want them finding out about the wolves. But for once, I wanted to be selfish. I wanted the Cullens to find a way to get the Volturi to back off and let me stay human. I wasn't sure how they or I were going to do it, but I knew I couldn't stay with Edward.
Tonight I had finally told Edward I couldn't marry him. I felt sick to my stomach that I was hurting him. I felt sad that his family wouldn't be my family anymore. But it was a sacrifice I had to make. The devastating look he gave me cracked my heart but I knew I had to stay strong. I was doing this for me.
For Charlie.
For Jacob.
For us.