If she was doing this 8 years ago, she would've taken a glance and run back inside the castle.
8 years. She's been imprisoned here for 8 years.
8 years ago, she lived in a quiet little village in Silesse. Tailtiu tries to recall its name, but years of walking the same corridors and rooms made it slip from her mind. Tailtiu still remembers bits and pieces of her life there. With Arthur, with Tine, with Azel.
How was Azel doing? Did he get taken away to Velthomer, like she did Friege? Did he kill himself? What about Arthur? Maybe Arthur got taken away in place of Azel instead. Whatever happens to Azel, Tailtiu hopes he isn't dead.
The day where she was taken away with Tine is still fresh in her mind. At least most of it. It's the only memory from her old life that hasn't gone entirely hazy. She was cradling a young Tine, shushing her as she would cry and tug at Tailtiu's long bangs as Tailtiu continued to neglect a haircut. Azel and Aruther were out collecting herbs for medicine and foraging, as the cold snap of year was approaching. The crackling fire was fed every so often, offering both light and warmth, with no threat of reducing the small home to ashes. The scent of burnt wood overwhelmed by the sweet smell of the baking huckleberry pie. It would be ready soon, lest it becomes a huckleberry pie with charred crust.
Just when the young infant reduced her sobs to sniffles, the sound of shouting and footsteps from outside rushing closer and closer until the door was kicked open. Tailtiu was barely hit by the door, now a broken wooden slab with a barely functioning knob. Tine was now wailing, but this time in confusion rather than from just having recently wetted her diaper.
From there, it was all a haze. All she can remember was screaming and kicking, Tine being ripped away from her arms, being tied up, and an all too luxurious carriage for a prisoner.
Tailtiu used to wonder how the huckleberry pie would've turned out. She hopes that it would be sweet and buttery with a tang, that tang being a small reminder of what the huckleberry pie would've tasted like if not for the copious amounts of sugar mixed with it. Azel learned it the hard way (Ever since then, he would refuse to taste test anything until the other villagers assured him that Tailtiu did in fact, finally learned how to cook something edible).
The first days she spent in Friege were her best. Ironically at the time, they were her worst. They were still miserable of course, but the best nevertheless. Why were they the best though? Simple. Hilda.
Hilda of House Velthomer. Oh, that cruel and damned woman.
Tailtiu remembers when Hilda would prevent servants from feeding Tine, how she would drop Tine, how she would take away Tine's blankets. Tailtiu begged Hilda to stop, and beg she did. Sometimes, the faint and unpleasant taste of leather would grace her tongue.
She remembers the chains, the whip, the roses, the rock path she would walk barefoot in summer, Hilda's flames, the thunder, everything. She did it all for Tine, yet Tine still couldn't live a good life. After all, Tine was the daughter of two traitors.
During her time in Friege, she met Ishtar. Ishtar was a sweet child, it was hard to believe she and Hilda shared blood at all. Ishtar would often come up to Tailtiu's room for comfort, as Hilda was always too busy doing 'really really important stuff only adults can do' (of course Hilda would neglect her daughter).
Despite Hilda tormenting her, she was still able to smile. She forced it on many occasions for Tine, Ishtar, Ishtore, and the other few children that came to visit. Many of them may have been forced, but she was still able to smile genuinely.
Eventually, all of those smiles were forced.
Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore.
That was her life for 8 years. That's the past, but this is now.
Tailtiu is like a bird without wings.
Tine has her red ribbon.