Roguey, Roguey
"Ugh, I can't believe we have to do this," Rogue grumbled folding her arms. "This is the absolute worst."
"C'mon, Rogue. It's not that bad," Kitty said. "It's not every day we get to take a field trip to an old-fashioned theater for our Women's Studies class."
"At least it gets us out of school," Amara added. "And we get to go to a buffet lunch afterward."
"I know that," Rogue gestured at the rest of their all-female class seated inside a small auditorium. Everyone else had noticeably distanced themselves from the three mutant teenagers. "It's being cooped up for the next few hours with a bunch of people who hate our guts that I'm really not looking forward too."
"You have a point," Kitty sighed as the rest of the class ignored them or shot them scornful looks.
"Alright, settle down," Their teacher Ms. Lathrap strode in front of the seats. She was a strict, stout, middle-aged woman with thick glasses and dark hair. "Ladies, and whatever else is here," She sniffed shooting the trio of mutants a disdainful glance. "You are about to see a play depicting the struggles of several famous figures of the Women's Suffrage movement. It is a lesson about how a specific section of the world's population was scorned, mistreated and denied basic human rights solely due to being slightly genetically different from those in power."
"Wow," Kitty blinked. "History really does repeat itself."
"Talk about hypocrisy," Rogue rolled her eyes.
"Quiet!" Lathrap snapped glaring at them. "Another word out of you three and all your assignments will be doubled for the rest of the semester. Understood?"
The three mutant students silently nodded. "Good," Lathrap gave them one final look before taking her seat.
"Hello, everybody!" A young, perky man strode onto the stage in front of the closed curtains. "Welcome to the Golden Times Theater! It's our pleasure to be putting on a special performance today for Ms. Lathrap's visiting Women's Studies class from Bayville High…aaaggghhhhhh!" A clawed hand suddenly shot out and yanked the man behind the curtains.
"What's going on?" Amara asked quietly as sounds of a brief scuffle were heard. "Is this part of the play?"
"I don't think so," Kitty whispered.
"Oops, sorry about that, sheilas!" An amused Australian voice called out from backstage. "We were experiencing a few minor production difficulties, but they've all been sorted out!"
"Huh?" Kitty blinked. "Hey, that voice sounds really familiar…"
"There's been a slight change in today's program," The chipper Australian voice went on. "Here for your viewing and listening pleasure is a number dedicated to a certain special sheila from the Prince of Thieves himself!"
"Who? Huh? What?" The crowd of girls looked at each other in confusion.
"Oh no," Rogue blanched. "He wouldn't…"
"Ta-da!" The curtains parted revealing Remy's beaming, uniformed figure sans trench coat taking center stage. Pyro stood off to one side holding a tambourine while Piotr manned a makeshift collection of audio equipment and speakers in the back. "Bonjour, femmes! Ready to be entertained?"
"What?" Kitty gasped. "Oh no! Not them again!"
"You know these guys?" Amara asked staring at the three Acolytes on stage. "Who are they?"
"You don't want to know," Rogue groaned.
"This is for a certain special femme out there," Remy flashed a charming smile. "Who knows who she is!" He motioned for Piotr to begin playing a selection of background music over the speakers. "Roguey! Ah, chérie, chérie!"
"Oh no," Rogue covered her face with her hands and sunk down into her seat. "This can not be happening!"
"You are my Southern girl!" Remy grinned strutting around the stage. "And you got me wanting you!"
"What is going on?" A scandalized Lathrap gasped in horror. "This isn't the performance I sighed the class up for!"
"Chérie!" Remy smiled as Piotr released bunches of floating bright red and green balloons in the background. "Ah, Roguey, Roguey! You are my Southern girl! And you got me wanting you!"
"This is so embarrassing," Rogue looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. "Somebody kill me!"
"Relax, Rogue," Kitty tried to reassure her. "No one else here knows that this performance is meant for you."
"Yeah, they don't even know your name is Rogue," Amara pointed out. "They just call you 'that creepy goth mutant with the white-striped hair'."
"Great, that really helps my self-esteem," Rogue moaned. "After this, I doubt I'll have a shred of self-esteem left!"
"I just can't believe the loveliness of loving you! I just can't believe it's true!" Remy crooned as Pyro happily skipped behind him shaking the tambourine. "I just can't believe the wonder of this feeling, too! I just can't believe it's true!"
"I wish none of this were true!" Rogue moaned.
"This is disgraceful! I want the school's money back! I'll sue!" Lathrap yelled and ran out of the auditorium. "Help! Where's Security?"
"AAAHHHHHH! SAVE ME!" A terrified male voice was heard screaming in the distance. "YEEEOOOWWW! HELP! I DON'T WANNA BE A SECURITY GUARD ANYMORE! I QUIT! I WANT MY MOMMY! WAAAHHHHHH!"
"Aw, shaddap punk!" Sabertooth's growls accompanied the guard's shrieks. "And stop crying into all the doughnuts!"
"Ah, Roguey! Ah, chérie, chérie!" Remy grinned and began tossing handfuls of foil-covered chocolates into the audience. "You are my Southern girl! And you got me wanting you!"
"Make it stop!" Rogue begged. "Make it stop!"
"We can't. It's too dangerous," Kitty told her. "We can't risk anyone getting hurt if we start a fight."
"I don't think we need to worry about the girls being in danger," Amara commented studying their classmates. "Actually, some of them are getting pretty into it."
"Oh wow!" One pretty, popular senior openly ogled Remy's form. "That lead singer is so dreamy!"
"Yeah! He's hot!" Another girl swooned.
"WHAT?!" Rogue yelped. "HE IS NOT!"
"Oh, chérie!" Remy struck a pose causing all the non-mutant girls to scream wildly. "Ah, Roguey, Roguey! You are my Southern girl! And you got me wanting you!"
"We want you too!" The class of Women's Studies students whooped. "Whoever you are!"
"Stop! Don't encourage him!" Rogue shouted at them. "Just sit down and back off!"
"Hey, what's gotten into you?" Kitty glanced at her questioningly. "Why are you so upset about what other girls think of that guy?"
"Yeah. Are you jealous?" Amara asked.
"NO!" Rogue shouted.
"When I kiss you, Rogue, you'll know how sweet a kiss can be!" Remy purred. "You'll know how sweet a kiss can be!"
"Oooh!" Pyro giggled flailing his tambourine.
"Like the summer sunshine I'll give you sweetness for free!" Remy winked in Rogue's direction. "Then 'you' and 'I' will become 'we'!"
"Don't count on it!" Rogue hissed sinking lower into her seat.
"Rogue? Are you okay?" Kitty looked down at her in concern. "Hey, are you blushing?"
"NO!" Rogue yelled quickly hiding her face.
"Oh, Roguey! I'll pour a little love on ya, chérie!" Remy grinned and danced around as a flurry of flower petals gently rained down around him. "Give a little love to you, Roguey! Make your life so sweet! Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
"Oh wow! This is the best field trip ever!" The crowd of female students cheered. "I'd kill to have a video camera right now!"
"I know who I'd like to kill," Rogue twitched.
"I'll pour a little love on ya, oh yeah! Give a little love to you, chérie!" Remy tossed more handfuls of small glowing objects into the crowd. "Cover you with loving, Roguey! I'm gonna make your life so sweet! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Give a little love to you, chérie!"
"Look out!" Kitty warned as several of the glowing items landed on them.
"It's okay. They're not dangerous," Amara picked up one of the objects. "They're actually kind of pretty. In fact, they look and feel just like…diamonds?!"
"Really?!" Kitty's eyes widened as more lightly charged gemstones harmlessly exploded among the audience. "Wow, that's so romantic!"
"WHAT?!" Rogue yelled at her friend. "WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?!"
"Ah, Roguey! Ah-ah-ah, chérie, chérie!" Remy crooned. "You are my Southern girl! And you got me wanting you!"
"You know, the girls are right," Amara smiled at Remy. "That guy is pretty hot."
"He's not the only one," Kitty grinned at Piotr quietly working in the background. "That big guy has a really nice figure too!"
"Oh great, they're both gone!" Rogue moaned. "I think I'm gonna be sick!"
"AAAGGGHHHHHH! HELP! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Sabertooth dashed past the auditorium doors with a look of sheer panic on his face.
"OOOOOOH, GET BACK HERE CUTIE!" Ms. Lathrap giggled chasing after him. "COME TO MAMA YOU MANLY BEAST!"
"Now I know I'm gonna be sick," Rogue groaned.
"Don't worry, Rogue. Help has arrived," Xavier and Ororo suddenly entered the auditorium.
"Girls, are you alright?" Ororo asked dressed in civilian clothes.
"Storm? Professor?" Rogue stared at them in shock. "What are you doing here?"
"Cerebro detected the presence of several mutant powers being used in the vicinity," Xavier explained. "They didn't correspond to any of you students so Ororo and I came to investigate."
"You seem highly agitated, Rogue," Ororo said worriedly. "Is something bothering you?"
"What do you think?" Rogue indicated the stage.
"Oh, chérie!" Remy wailed prancing in front of the crowd of very excited girls. "Roguey, Roguey! You are my Southern girl!"
"I see," Xavier blinked at the sight. "Well, this certainly isn't the kind of disturbance I was expecting."
"Though someone here certainly appears to be mentally disturbed," Ororo sighed.
"No kidding," Rogue moaned. "This is so humiliating! I'm gonna have nightmares about this for years!"
"Don't worry, Rogue. No one here will remember anything about this incident," Xavier promised placing his fingers to his temples. "Except for the instigators of all this. Their minds seem to be mentally shielded somehow."
"More likely they don't have any minds to alter," Rogue grumbled. "Still, it's better than nothing. Thanks, Professor."
"Are you sure about this, Charles?" Ororo looking at him in concern. "I thought you swore never to do this kind of thing again after straining yourself covering up all those instances with the Brotherhood."
"I know, but I will make an exception in this case," Xavier said as he prepared to alter the minds of all the non-mutants present. "Please call Hank and ask him to have an icepack and plenty of aspirin ready when we get home."
"I presume you'll be wanting something a little stronger and more medicinal than aspirin as well?" Ororo gave him a look.
"Wouldn't you?" Xavier sighed.
"Alright! Wohoo!" Kitty and Amara cheered as Remy continued to strut around on stage. "That's it, hot stuff! Shake that thing!"
"Do me a favor, Professor. Erase this incident from both of their minds while you're at it," Rogue moaned pointing at her two friends. "Not to mention my own!"
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the song "Sugar, Sugar".