A/N: Don't own anything Avengers…..This is just a little one off for the 4th of July…using the(Y/N) out line, hope you enjoy all the soft and fluffy feels and maybe a tissue or two.
**THANK YOU TO ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO HAVE SERVED AND CONTINUE TO SERVE! HOPE EVERYONE HAS A HAPPY AND SAFE 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND!**
Grace
It was early morning when (y/n) made her way down to the communal kitchen of the Avenger Tower. Being the 4th of July weekend, it is well known that Mr. Stark will be hosting a large party later this evening and it will be a catered affair so (y/n) cooking services will not be required and was given some time off to join the party if she wished, but that will be later on in the day and (y/n) still has time to think about going or not. Right now (y/n) was thinking that it's too early to start breakfast even though Captain Rogers is most likely awake and already in the gym doing his morning workout and Mr. Stark most likely never went to bed to begin with, a very typical morning at the Avenger Tower that (y/n) has gotten quite used to over the last few months.
(y/n) knows she has a few hours before she really needs to start prepping for breakfast including the coffee or tea pot for Dr. Banner, so she makes her way over to the common room, lit only by the city lights below and the fading star light from the ceiling to floor windows.
(y/n) lets out a deep sigh as she looks out across the sky line, "Beautiful, so peacful"
It goes unnoticed by (y/n) that someone is sitting in a dark corner of the room watching, woken by nightmares of their own and was hoping to find solus in the peace and quiet of the common room, not expecting to have company this early but continues to watch silently.
(y/n) releases another deep sigh before calling out, "Jarvis"
"How may I assist you Ms. (y/n)?" Jarvis replies.
(y/n) continues to stare out the window when she sees movement in the reflection of the glass and a quick glint of metal before it disappears, knowing now that she is not alone.
"Jarvis can you play 'Pentatonix' version of Amazing Grace on a continuous loop at volume level four please, begin when I give the signal thank you"
"Of course Ms. (y/n)" Jarvis replies simply causing (y/n) to smile softly at Mr. Stark's creation before taking a seat on the floor in a lotus position to meditate in front to the windows when she calls out into the darkness.
"You are welcome to join me" (y/n) states keeping her back to the room as she closes her eyes and begins her deep breathing giving the signal for Jarvis to start the music unsure if her guest will join her or remain hidden in the shadows.
Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My Good, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing Grace
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, oh, Amazing Grace
The Earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My Good, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing Grace
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see**
The song has always brought comfort to (y/n) especially now after the death of her younger brother John, who came home after serving two tours in Afghanistan to only kill himself six months later, her tears fall unheeded down her cheeks as the lyrics wash over (y/n) and memories of her brother begin to over whelm her.
The song begins again when (y/n) hears soft padded footsteps coming closer to her then the sound of someone sitting down in front of her. As the music and lyrics plays through again (y/n) relaxes back into her meditative breathing once more and there they remain for the next hour as the song continues to loop and (y/n) allows her tears for her brother's memory to continue to flow freely. (y/n) has a pretty good idea who has joined her but remains quite as he obviously came to the common room for a reason and now neither of them have to bare their heart ache or trauma alone.
It is in the second hour when Bruce appears in the kitchen to find Steve standing very still at the thresh hold of the common room and decides to join him and see what has caught his attention when Bruce finally hears the music playing, one of his and his Mom's favorites as it brings memories rushing back of his childhood, attending church with his Mom before things went so terribly wrong in his life.
"Steve?" Bruce says quietly not wanting to disturb the man clearly lost in his own thoughts and memories, when Bruce finally sees what Steve is so focused on.
(y/n) and Bucky, sitting together so closely that their knees are almost touching, both in deep meditation, both with tears track running down their cheeks as the song begins again.
"Steve?" Bruce says again looking up at the blond man and noticing his eyes are pooling and ready to fall.
"Bruce" Steve whispers not wanting to break the quite softness of this moment, but his voice betrays the emotions that are so clearly trying to break through.
"Steve, I'm sure they won't mind if you join them" Bruce states gently.
"Mm….He's been so lost since he's come back, I worry…." Steve says but is afraid to finish his thought as the news is constantly reporting about service men and women coming home from their tour of duty unable to assimilate back into civilian life and Steve fears losing his best friend again.
"Hey…He's been responding well to Tony's B.A.R.F program and is doing his therapy twice a week with no push back or complaint; it just takes time, you know this as well as anyone. Why don't we go join them, it's been awhile since I've meditated and I've always found it very helpful especially when dealing with the Hulk" Bruce says hoping to give Steve some comfort and a gentle nudge to join his friend.
Steve nods his head and begins to toe off his shoes before slowly making his way over to the pair and sitting down next to them copying their positions, closing his eyes and just lets the music waft over him thankful his best friend is here with him again, knowing they can get through anything together.
Bruce watches for a minute before toeing off his own shoes and sits down across from Steve and begins to empty his mind, thankful that Tony and the Team look past the monster inside him and just see him, a friend and team mate.
It was about thirty minutes later when (y/n) was pulled from her meditative state by a growling stomach, whose she's not quite sure. When she opens her eyes it is to find herself staring back into Bucky's beautiful but sad ocean blue eyes and (y/n) gives him a soft smile as she reaches up to gently caress his check rough with morning growth and gently thumb his tears away.
What surprises her more is Bucky mirrors her action as he cups her cheek with his metal hand to wipe at her tears as well.
"Thank you for joining me Sergeant Barnes" (y/n) whispers now noticing the other two that had joined them as well.
"Thank you for inviting me doll….and it's Bucky" He says just above a whisper.
Bucky continues to caress (y/n) cheek, "Why?"
(y/n) tightly squeezes her eyes closed and takes a deep breath before opening them again, "my brother was a soldier, but even more important he was a good man and needed help when he came back from his tour….but…but nothing seemed to help and….and he….I miss him every day but this holiday is the hardest. He loved the fireworks and food." (y/n) chuckles a little to herself, "god he could put away the food…he would give you and Captain Rogers a run for your money…I always complained about him having two hollow legs and a spare tank on him" (y/n) chuckles again as more tears run down her cheeks as Bucky takes his other hand and cradles her face gently.
"He sounds like someone that we would have gotten on with" Bucky says trying to sooth (y/n).
"Mm…he would have enjoyed meeting all of you, swapping stories, talking strategies with Cap or mechanics with Mr. Stark" (y/n) chuckles again remembering her brother, "he probably would have taken one of Mr. Starks suits apart just to see how it operates and then put it back together with some improvements….Tony would have liked him alot" (y/n) says with a sad smile as she lowers her head to pull out of Bucky's grip, his hands lay limp in his lap.
After a minute (y/n) reaches out to take both of Bucky's hands with hers, giving them a tight squeeze, "What about you, why were you lurking in the dark this morning?" (y/n) asks gently all the while Steve and Bruce remains in their positions and quite with their eyes closed giving the allusion of meditating but really can't help but overhear the private and very personal conversation.
Bucky looks down at their joined hands, "I…I still have nightmares…about what Hydra…about what was done to me….and what I've done" Bucky says quietly as he lets out a deep sigh, (y/n) squeezes their hands together again.
"Bucky…Bucky look at me" (y/n) asks gently, "Time Bucky….you have time and support and friendship, more than most veterans will ever have, don't waste it. You will have bad days just like the rest of us, but one day your will realize you are having more good days than bad and won't that be a thing of beauty"
"I'm a monster…a killer (y/n)" Bucky says as he tries to pull his hands back but (y/n) holds on tightly as neither of them see Bruce flinch at Bucky calling himself a monster or Steve's chin tremble as he bites his lip to remain quiet and not jump to Bucky's defense.
(y/n) drops Bucky's hands and rises to her knees to cup Bucky's face in her hands, pulling his head up to look at her, seeing the hopelessness in his eyes of a desperate man.
"No Sergeant Barnes" (y/n) hisses at Bucky, "You are not a monster, just like Dr. Banner is not a monster, you and he are human. You live, breath, eat, sleep…most of the time, you cry and laugh and you make mistakes and then you fix them. You sir were a prisoner of war, tortured and abused for decades…you are no monster and the red on you ledger belongs to Hydra and Hydra alone"
Bucky stares at (y/n), lips part like he wants to argue with her but he can't make the words move past his lips.
"Please Bucky…please…I know Steve cares for you deeply, there is a brotherly love there that has transcended time and the Team cares for you a great deal as well. Please, I couldn't save my brother…please fight…please…we all know it's hard…but we are here" (y/n) quietly begs before wrapping her arms around Bucky's neck. Bucky hesitates for a brief moment before wrapping his arms around (y/n) pulling her onto his lap and just holds her as they both quietly cry for each other's loss of life.
Bucky and (y/n) remain like this till the sound of a clearing throat is heard and the moment is broken for all four of them as Tony stands staring at the group in his grease covered jeans, Black Sabbath t-shirt and a very empty coffee mug.
"Um…if there are orgies going on in my common room it should be known that I don't want to know about it, but you better clean up the mess when you're done" Tony says as he goes to take a sip from his mug and remembers that its empty.
"Oh crap" (y/n) says as she buries her head in Bucky's chest.
"What?" Bruce asks as he and Steve release their positions and stretch out since their silence is no longer needed.
"I forgot to make the coffee…he's going to kill me" (y/n) says with a dramatic sigh as all three men chuckle at her.
"Well he did give you the day off doll" Bucky states as he loosens his arms around (y/n).
"Yeah I know but I wanted to make a special breakfast for everyone this morning, I guess time just got away from me and more important things came up" (y/n) says quietly as she gives a light kiss on Bucky's cheek before climbing off his lap to stand and heads off into the kitchen to get the coffee brewing and Dr. Banner's tea pot going as well.
All four men just shake their heads at (y/n) as Bucky, Bruce, and Steve get up off the floor and stretch their limbs before joining Tony at the kitchen table.
"Blueberry pancakes, Mr. Stark?" (y/n) asks.
"Like you need to ask (y/n)" Steve says as Bruce and Bucky chuckle. Tony's huffs and rolls his eyes at Steve as he looks longingly at his empty coffee mug.
By the time (y/n) had the pancakes, eggs, toast and bacon ready, Clint and Natasha had also joined the group at the table and Tony was working his way through his second cup of coffee and feeling human again.
"So (y/n) you coming to the party tonight, Stark promised to put on a show this year with some awesome fireworks" Clint asks as he stabs two more pancakes from the platter and plops them down on his plate.
"Sure, it will be nice to be with friends" (y/n) looks over at Bucky and gives him a wink.
Later that evening after the sun had gone down and the party was in full swing, Tony did indeed put on a fireworks show that was breath taking as the Avengers and guest all stood out on the balcony to watch. Bucky stood next to (y/n) as Steve stood next to Bucky and Bruce stood on (y/n) other side. Clint and Natasha found a spot in a quiet corner by the railing as Pepper, Agent Hill, Rhodey and Sam found their way to another open section on the balcony. Tony of course was out front as the music plays Stars and Stripes.
Bucky leans down to whisper to (y/n), "Thank you"
(Y/n) looks up at Bucky, "For what?"
Bucky smiles, "for your Amazing Grace"
A/N: HOPE EVERYONE HAS A SAFE AND FUN 4TH OF JULY AND REMEMBER OUR SERVICE MEN AND WOMAN WHO FAUGHT AND DIED BUT ALSO FAUGHT AND HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO SURVIVE WHEN THEY COME HOME. PLEASE PASS ON SOME AMAZING GRACE…IT JUST MAY SAVE A LIFE INCLUDING YOUR OWN.
** Pentatonix- a Capella of Amazing Grace is beautiful, powerful and haunting and can be found on YouTube**