5.

Chad bursts into the music room at a run, then doubles over, panting, because their school is pretty big and the sprint from the gym to the music wing is not short. When he catches his breath, he looks up.

The room is almost completely empty, and for a moment he panics, but then he catches sight of a lone figure at the piano. It takes him a second to place the guy, and then he remembers—Ryan Evans, one of the blond twins who arrived at East in a flurry of sparkles and song. He sits next to Chad in homeroom, but they've never spoken, because Chad does sports and Ryan does theatre and those two groups don't really interact. Ever.

Right now, though, he kind of needs Ryan really badly, and it's not helping his case that Ryan is staring at him like he's grown a second head. "Um," Ryan says slowly, but not nearly as condescending as Chad would have expected, "the gym is in the other direction, I think."

Chad nods, forcing a smile. "Uh, yeah, I know. But listen, you sing, right?"

Ryan blinks. His eyes, Chad notices, are kind of ridiculously blue. "Um. Yes."

"Good!" Chad explains, and dashes across the room, grabbing Ryan by the arm and hauling him off the piano bench. "Come on."

"Wait—what?" Ryan goes along with him remarkably willingly, stumbling slightly awkwardly as Chad drags him into the hallway and then pulls him into a run. "Where are we going?"

"The girl who usually does the national anthem for our games is sick," Chad explains quickly. "We need an emergency replacement."

Ryan looks panicked for a moment. "But I'm not—my voice isn't warmed up, or anything, and—"

"Whatever, doesn't matter," Chad says. "Can you run any faster?" Ryan obediently quickens his steps and Chad has a momentary thought of hey, he's actually not in bad shape before tightening his grip on Ryan's arm and guiding him toward the gym.

Coach Bolton's face breaks into a massive smile as they come into the gym. "Good work, Chad," he says cheerfully, clapping Chad on the shoulder. He turns to Ryan. "I have you in gym, don't I? Evans, right?"

"Yeah," Ryan confirms. He's barely winded, and Chad is absolutely not jealous of that. "I heard you need a singer?"

"Indeed we do." He eyes Ryan thoughtfully. "Do you need time to catch your breath or anything? We're already a bit behind schedule."

Ryan shakes his head. "I think I'm fine. Do you have a mic or anything?"

Coach Bolton nods and takes Ryan by the shoulder, guiding him away, and Chad pads over to the rest of the team, plopping down on the bench next to Troy and taking a swig from his water bottle. He's still a little breathless and suddenly he's glad that he's a freshman and not starting this game.

A moment later, Coach Bolton's voice rings out through the gym. "Please rise for the singing of our national anthem by freshman Ryan Evans."

Chad gets obediently to his feet with the rest of the gym as Ryan walks to the center of the gym. He takes a slow, deep breath and raises the microphone to his lips.

"Oh say can you see by the dawn's early light what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?"

His voice is clean and pure and not at all what Chad expected. To be honest, he usually looks at Ryan and thinks "prissy white boy", and he doesn't know much about music, but he knows enough to realize that Ryan is good. Really, really good.

"…were so gallantly streaming." Ryan pauses, and Chad prepares to wince, because this is the part where something musical changes and people's voices crack awkwardly. But Ryan is easy and confident as he continues. "And the rockets red glare…"

He moves through the words like they're second nature and Chad is kind of in awe of that. Because even Melanie, the senior who usually sings for their games, is kind of hesitant, but Ryan has a confidence that he must have been born with, what with how comfortable he is up there.

"O'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave."

The applause starts before Ryan's voice ends, and he holds the final note for a few moments more before lowering the mic. He smiles around the gym and walks back to Coach Bolton, handing him the microphone, and leaves the gym.

He doesn't look back, and Chad kind of wishes he would.

4.

Ryan becomes their backup singer for games, but other than that, Chad doesn't really see him. They don't have any classes together (Chad eventually learns that this is because Ryan is in Honors classes, and who gave him the right to be so smart, anyway?) and of course there's no reason to talk to him, because…no. But still, Chad can't help kind of wanting to hear him sing again, wanting to hear him really sing.

So when he's walking by the theatre after practice sophomore year and he hears a soft voice from inside, he pauses. Just for a moment. And then, because his body has clearly grown a mind of its own, he slips inside.

"…I will go the distance just to find where I belong."

He knows it's Ryan before he even sees him, standing onstage and singing to the empty theatre. And there's something different in his voice from when he sings the national anthem, there's something more…heartfelt, genuine. There's emotion, pure and simple, Chad can hear it in his voice.

"But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part. For a hero's strength is measured by his heart…" Ryan's voice is climbing, both in volume and intensity. As Chad watches, he takes off his hat and lets it fall to the floor, running his hands through his hair.

"I don't care how far—I can go the distance til I find my hero's welcome waiting in your arms." Ryan does a somewhat complicated spin and when he turns he sees Chad. Chad meets his eyes and Ryan freezes, and even from the back of the theatre Chad can see his eyes widen. But Ryan doesn't stop singing, only holds Chad's gaze.

"I will face the world," he sings softly, "I will face its harms. Til I find my hero's welcome waiting in your arms."

Chad stares at him until the note dies away, and then he runs.

3.

Christmas carols are usually pretty annoying. Because yeah, Chad loves Christmas just like any other middle-class Christian kid whose parents love giving presents and hate going to church, but he doesn't see any reason to sing about it. He doesn't actually see any reason to sing about anything, but that's a whole other issue.

But his younger sister is in the fourth grade chorus and there's a town-wide Christmas concerts with singers from kindergarten through high school, and Chad sighs, slumping back in the bleachers of the East High gym next to his parents.

His mother grabs his arm. "Oh, look! There's your sister's group."

Chad isn't looking at his sister. He's looking at the slender figure arranging the girls on the risers. Chad knows it's Ryan before he even turns and introduces the group to the crowd, and for a moment, all Chad can think is Jesus Christ, he's wearing a Santa hat.

Ryan conducts the girls through their song, and Chad is barely listening. All he can think about is that when Dionne said she had a really, really cute after-school chorus teacher, he had no idea that Ryan was what she meant.

And Ryan—Ryan looks happy and smiling and kind of gorgeous as he directs and supplies a few lyrics when the girls struggle over them. And Chad can't take his eyes off him, because he's just that beautiful, and it terrifies Chad because he's never used the word beautiful to describe anyone. Especially not a boy. Especially not Ryan Evans.

It's really kind of scary.

When the girls finish, Chad claps along with everyone else and smiles at his sister.

"Great job, fourth grade," the mayor says cheerfully, waving them off the stands. "And thank you to your director, East High School junior Ryan Evans. What do you think, can we interest Ryan in singing something for us?"

Even from the bleachers, Chad could see Ryan flushing. "Oh, I really couldn't—"

Ryan really shouldn't attempt modesty. It's not a good look for him. "Come on, Ryan!" Chad yells from the stands, and Ryan's eyes snap up to him, but before he can say anything the rest of the bleachers are cheering for him.

Ryan sighs and takes the microphone from the mayor. The high school jazz band strikes up a song and Ryan smiles, his shoulders relaxing from the easy comfort of performing.

"Oh the weather outside is frightful. But the fire is so delightful. And since we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…"

Somehow Ryan's got the whole damn gym singing—except for Chad, of course, because he doesn't sing ever—and Ryan's eyes are locked on his. He's flushed and smiling and Chad grins in spite of himself.

With the last verse, though, the crowd dies down so Ryan can finish by himself. He doesn't take his eyes from Chad's, and as Chad listens to the words, it strikes him that that should be the slightest bit weird, but it's not. "The fire is slowly dying, and my dear, we're still goodbyeing. But as long as you love me so…"

He holds the note. Chad tears his eyes from Ryan's.

"Let it snow, let it snow…" Ryan's slowed the song down, it's soft and smooth and sweet. "Let it snow."

The room erupts in applause, and Chad can't look up, because he's half-scared of what he'll see.

2.

Chad honestly has no idea whose idea it was to have karaoke at this party—it sure as hell wasn't his—but when Ryan Evans steps up to the mic, Chad actually has to resist the urge to sigh.

Because so far this party has been really good. Dance music, hard, thumping bass, and Chad has two East High cheerleaders wrapped around him. He glares up at the stage, because if Ryan starts up with some bouncy showtune Chad will probably kill him.

But the music starts up and it was a light, easy dance beat, and Chad suppresses a grin as Ryan grabs the mic, hip popping in a jaunty fashion. "Let's do this," Ryan sings, half-speaking, his voice light and cheerful. "You got it. Oh, you got it."

Chad can't help but raise his eyebrows, tugging Britney the Cheerleader back against him. But for some reason, he can't think of Britney's hips when Ryan's are moving onstage, he can't think about Britney's hands in his hair because all he can see is Ryan's hands caressing the microphone like it's a…uh, okay, yeah.

"You know you got it so good," Ryan sings, "Come on, now, make this dance floor hot."

He punctuates the last word with a jerk of his hips against the mic stand, and Chad's mouth goes a little bit dry. Ryan is wearing those black skinny jeans that never cease to make Chad's breath hitch when he sees them, and with the way Ryan's moving, Chad kind of envies the microphone stand. Just a tiny bit.

"Come on you've got it so good," Ryan runs his fingers over the microphone and Chad swallows, hard. "Give it all that you got. You got it…"

Chad knows he's half-hard and judging by the look Britney sends him, she knows it, too. "Well, hey," she purrs. "Want to get out of here?"

He jerks her closer; she squeezes him through his jeans. "No," he whispers in her ear, soft and husky, "I want to listen to the rest of the song."

Britney raises her eyebrows. "We can compromise," she murmurs, and pushes him back, against the wall. He starts to say something but she presses her hand harder against his groin, attacking his neck with her lips, and he bites down a groan. Part of him wants to watch her, because public hand jobs are pretty fucking hot, but all he can look at is Ryan, across the room, singing what might be the hottest song Chad has ever heard.

"Come on now," Ryan sings, "make this dance floor hot. Make the dance floor hot, the dance floor hot, the dance floor hot…"

Britney's hand is moving faster and Chad stills his hips with a considerable effort. His mind is replacing Britney with Ryan, curly brown hair turning short and blond, and Chad bites his lip hard enough to feel it hurt, unable to stop himself from thrusting hard and rough into her hand.

"Make the dance floor hot," Ryan hits an impossibly high note and Chad comes hot and heavy inside his boxers. He slumps against the wall and feels Britney laugh against his neck, and after a moment he lifts his head and searches across the room for Ryan.

He's halfway off the stage and he's staring at Chad. There's something in his eyes that Chad can't quite place and his lips are parted very slightly—Chad feels the unexplained twitch of arousal at the sight and it's way too soon and it almost hurts—and one look shows that Ryan knows exactly what just happened. Ryan arches an eyebrow and Chad holds his gaze, daring him to object, to challenge, anything.

Ryan shrugs and heads off in the other direction, and Chad can't help but be a little disappointed.

1.

Chad is more than slightly stressed. He knows he's pacing and he knows it annoys the hell out of Ryan, who is watching him from the stage with just the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes.

"It's just—" he says finally, running his hands through his hair, "everyone has these big plans, you know? You, and Troy, and Taylor, and it's like—all I want to do is play basketball. And everyone's going off in these huge directions, and in the end of it, I just…" He breaks off, pacing again, and Ryan sighs.

"It's just what, Chad?"

Chad slumps against the piano, scowling. "I miss having people being there for me, but now everyone's all…just worried about themselves, I guess. And it sucks."

He's really, really not expecting Ryan to laugh, which is kind of annoying, actually. But suddenly Ryan is just smiling, hopping of the stage. "Is that really all you're worried about?"

Chad nods sullenly, and Ryan's smile broadens, and Chad can't help but wonder what kind of advice he's about to spew out. But of course Ryan, being Ryan, breaks into song.

"There's a hill we've gotta climb," he sings cheerfully, tugging playfully at one of Chad's curls. "There's a treasure we must find. The two of us as friends, we're ready to take on the world." Chad rolls his eyes and Ryan takes his hands, pulling him up, singing something about adventures and touching the sky, and Chad sighs.

"I don't want to touch the sky, Ryan," he says, halfheartedly attempting to tug his hands from Ryan's.

Ryan holds him fast, lowering his voice slightly. "And through all the ups and downs," he sings quietly, soft and sweet, "I'll always be around, you know when nothing goes your way—when nothing goes your way, you know I will."

Chad tries to look annoyed, but he can feel the slightest tug of a grin on his face.

"I'll stand between you and your darkest fear," Ryan sings, and then, teasingly dragging a finger over Chad's cheek, "I'll be the shoulder for your fallen tear."

"I don't cry," Chad retorts, and Ryan laughs.

"I'll be behind you til you're in the clear, you know I will."

He takes Chad's hands again and attempts to make Chad dance for him, and Chad rolls his eyes, pulling away from him as Ryan keeps singing, going on and on about being heroes and taking over the world, just the two of them.

"That's the problem, Ry," Chad says desperately. "I can't keep up with that, all of that crazy stuff you want to do. I'm just…falling behind you."

Ryan smiles, cupping Chad's face in his hands. It's way too close and way too intimate, but for some reason, Chad can't even think of pushing him off. "And if you slip and fall off track," he murmurs, still singing, but not really, "I'll carry you on my back, you know when nothing goes your way—when nothing goes your way…"

And he's off again, singing and spinning and twirling around, and Chad can't even try to be annoyed anymore.

0.

"I thought I'd find you here."

Ryan glances up and Chad grins down at him, holding up a bottle of water. "Want?" Ryan smiles and Chad hands him the bottle, sitting down next to him. Ryan's smile doesn't make it to his eyes, and Chad doesn't fail to notice it. "You okay?"

"Of course." Ryan unscrews the cap of the bottle and Chad raises an eyebrow at him. Ryan sighs. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Chad rolls his eyes. "Let's see. We're graduating in an hour, and you're up here on the roof garden, lying around in the flowers." He takes a sip of his own water. "Cough it up, Ryan. What's going on with you?"

Ryan looks at him. For a long, long moment, they just stare at each other, Ryan's blue eyes boring into his, and Chad can't even think about looking away. Finally, Ryan blinks and looks away. "I'm going to miss you, that's all."

"Is that it?" Chad laughs and slings an arm around Ryan's shoulders. "Ryan, friends don't disappear just because we're going off to college." Ryan smiles very faintly, his lips thinning, and Chad lets his arm fall. "Ryan?" Ryan stares straight ahead, and Chad hesitates. "Ryan?"

Ryan is quiet for a long time. When he finally speaks, his voice is soft. "I know friends don't disappear," he says quietly. "But I…I want us to be more than that. I've always wanted us to be more than that."

It should be more of a surprise. But thinking about it…it's really not. Chad sighs. "I know."

"I know you do." Ryan's smile gets softer, sadder, and Chad looks at him. "I'm sorry," Ryan continues. "I didn't want—I shouldn't have said anything. We lasted this long as friends without me saying something to screw it up. I should have…"

He trails off. His lips are trembling, and Chad opens his mouth to say something, and then closes it. And then, after a moment, he opens it again. "All I wanna do," he sings softly, reaching for Ryan's hand, "is be with you. Be with you. There's nothing we can't do, I just wanna be with you. Only you."

Very slowly, Ryan turns to look at him. "Chad," he says quietly. "You don't have to…"

Chad swallows hard, but shifts, turning to face him. Ryan's blue eyes are wide and beautiful. Chad reaches for his hand again, and this time, Ryan lets him take it. "No matter where life takes us, nothing can break us apart. You know it's true. I just wanna be with…"

Ryan's smile is gorgeous, and Chad reaches up with his other hand and curls his fingers around Ryan's cheek. "You," Ryan murmurs.

They kiss, and it's slow and sweet and it sounds like the most beautiful music Chad has ever heard.