*Jason the Forest Scout enters his house brushing dirt off of himself*
Jason: Stupid bird! *sees a bearded man in a scout master uniform*
Man: There you are.
Jason: Dad? I'm sorry I'm late! Got stuck in a hole. This bird that belongs to somebody lead me into it.
Man: A bird?
Jason: Yeah, it belongs to some girl named Kelsey who hangs out with Craig.
Man: Wait, did you say Craig, as in, Craig Williams?
Jason: You know him?
Man: Let's just say I have history with his family...
*flashback to 20 years earlier*
*12-year old Nicole is with Jason's father*
Nicole: Oh Siegfried, you are a riot!
*Duane walks in*
Duane: So is this one of those quickie deals, cuz I'm totally ok with waiting my turn?
Nicole: Did you think I was askin' you out? *chuckles* If I wanted to date a kiwi, I'd go to the produce section at the supermarket!
Siegfried: Oh, ha ha, burn!
Nicole: I asked you to come so you could see what a REAL man looks like, a man with glorious hair...
Siegfried: I know she's just using me for my hair, but I really dig the food here...
Nicole: It's just so thick, I could get lost in there... *scratches Siegfried's head* Who's a good boy?
*Duane walks away*
Nicole: Oh wait, I nearly forgot. *takes out a kiwi and tosses it to Duane* I'm sure you two'll get along swimmingly...
*Duane grunts and walks away*
Duane: Hm, so she likes hair, huh?
*5 days later*
*Nicole and Siegfried are on a hill together and laying on a picnic blanket, with Nicole stroking Siegfried's hair*
Siegfried: I think you'll like the ballad I wrote you, the bridge is totally inspiring... *takes out an acoustic and strums it*
Nicole: Oh, honestly, you and that thing... your music interests me alot less than your hair.
Duane: Well...
*Nicole and Siegfried look over and see Duane, who now has a large afro*
Duane: Maybe it's time to ditch that hair guitar and get ready for a disco show of epic proportions...
Siegfried: Hey, you can't just come in here and parade your new hairstyle around and expect to get anywhere with my girlfriend! *sees Nicole has rushed over to Duane and now has her arms around him* Ohhh... unless you can...
*flashback ends*
Jason: No wonder I never liked him that much...