As much as Mouse didn't want to admit it, he actually felt settled with his life for the first time in a long time. But admitting that felt like he was going to jinx it and some catastrophe was going to befall upon him. Plus, Jay had been right about pulling Mouse up to Intelligence and Mouse just hated to admit when his best friend was right.
Not that Halstead needed to be told he was right more right now anyways. The guy was practically buzzing with happiness since Erin came back to Intelligence after her 'furlough'. Jay had been awfully tightlipped about the status of his and Lindsay's relationship, no matter how much Will tried to pry. Mouse was a little bit curious too. Call it being nosy or just concerned about his best friend after the wringer Erin had put him through with her quitting. No matter what though, it was hard to begrudge the brunette's place in Jay's life when Mouse could see just how happy her mere presence made his best friend. Mouse might've hated to admit when Jay was right but he sure liked it when his best friend was happy.
But he should've known better that things didn't stay calm and easy for too long. There was trouble lurking around every corner in Chicago. He just didn't expect to get caught up in the middle of it.
So when he was taken hostage by a desperate father searching for his daughter, Mouse was put in the position to step up and take charge. He saw how worried Jay was for him through the cracks in the blinds and how quickly the scene turned chaotic with the whole district going on lockdown. But instead of being worried for his life, Mouse was strangely more concerned about the father. Mouse knew the guy didn't want to hurt him, he just wanted to find his daughter. That was why it had been a no brainer for him to lie to Voight and everyone else about the gun not being loaded. But Jay saw right through him, as usual.
"Wasn't loaded, huh?" Jay gave him a knowing look as he passed him a beer.
Mouse just chuckled and took out the bullets he had hidden from his drawer. "You, uh… you remember when Hollingsworth, he got kidnapped by those hajis?" He saw Jay stiffened when he brought the subject up. Jay always did that whenever Mouse tried to talk about the things they've done and seen back in Afghanistan. "When we finally tracked 'em down, what did we do?"
"A lot worse than putting a gun to someone's head," Jay replied, his eyes closed off than they had been moments earlier. "Hey, to extenuating circumstances."
Mouse lifted up his beer to join him for a toast. "So why are you still here?" Jay frowned and tossed him a look that said where else would he be? "So," Mouse began, trying to keep his voice casual. "Where's Lindsay tonight?"
Jay tilted his head, confused. "I don't know. Why?"
Mouse shrugged. "Just thought you'd be with her tonight. You guys have been hanging out a lot lately."
Jay narrowed his eyes. "We're partners." Mouse just gave him a knowing look. "It's not like that."
"Like what?" Mouse was yanking his chain. Really, he just wanted Halstead to admit to him that he and Lindsay were more than just partners. Mouse doubted that they were ever just partners. Ever since he had learned of Lindsay's existence back in Charlie's shady apartment a couple of years ago, he knew that Jay had interest in the girl more than just partners.
Jay finished off his beer and stood up. "I'm not going to talk about this with you."
"Ah, so there is something to talk about." Jay looked exasperated, giving Mouse amusement. "I'm just saying, it's clear that you like the girl and you two are more than just 'partners'". He added air quotes around the word. "So why haven't you gathered your balls and just tell her how you feel yet?"
Jay huffed and leaned against the desk. "It's not that simple," he admitted quietly.
"Seems pretty simple to me," Mouse returned. "You like her. She likes you. You said Voight gave you his blessings. What's complicated about that?"
Jay crossed his arms. "First of all, I don't need Voight's blessings." Mouse just shot him a look. "Alright, I don't need it but Erin does," he corrected himself. "Second, yeah I like her a lot but I don't know how she feels."
Mouse wanted to knock the guy upside the head. Jay must've been blind if he didn't know how Erin felt about him. "You're kidding, right?" He looked at Jay incredulously. "You're seriously telling me you don't know how that girl feels about you?"
"We were together months ago, Mouse," Jay replied with a strained voice. "Even then I liked her way more than she liked me. Erin's…."
"Fickle?"
"Complicated," Jay chose the word carefully. "She's been through a lot in her life and she doesn't really let anyone in." Mouse held back his comment of how they were two peas in a pod then because Jay was exactly like that too. "She's been through hell this past year and she's finally back on her feet. She's good right now and she's exactly where she belongs. As much as I want to be with her, I won't jeopardize her well-being with my selfishness. I won't."
Mouse just looked at his friend in awe because from where he was standing, Jay more than liked Erin. The guy sounded like a lovesick fool over her. He wasn't sure if it was something Jay had even realized about himself just yet or if he was just deluding himself that his feelings for his partner was just at the 'like' stage to protect himself.
"I think she's tougher than you give her credit for, man," Mouse replied. He had seen some of that toughness with his own eyes, especially when Erin had marched into his cave one night and demanded to see the ransom video of Jay. Mouse couldn't watch Jay being tortured by Derek Keys more than once but Erin had stood there with her fists clenched and her eyes unblinking and watched the whole video. Almost like she was punishing herself or making herself to not forget just how close they had come to losing Jay.
"I know she is." Jay sighed. "We're good right now. She's back, she's healthy and she's smiling again. That's all I want. Everything else can wait." Mouse wondered if Jay would wait forever if he had to.
Luckily, it turned out that Jay wouldn't have to wait forever because just a few weeks later, gossip began spreading like wildfire through the bullpen and the district that Jay had finally manned up and kissed Erin in public.
Mouse might have been a little annoyed that he wasn't there personally to witness the monumental moment but the new couple certainly made it up to him by being so shy about the latest status of their relationship. It was oddly adorable how shy the two of them were being about boyfriend/girlfriend. It was a side of Erin that Mouse had never seen before and of course, the guys took advantage of it by teasing them relentlessly. Mouse, included.
"I heard that it was a pretty hot kiss there, you two," Adam said suggestively, a huge grin on his face. Jay and Erin were pretending not to hear but they were both blushing furiously. "Hermann said he almost had to throw water on you guys to cool you guys off."
"I heard that too," Kevin chimed in.
Mouse held back his laughter when he saw Jay dropped his face in his hands. "You know I think I can hack into the security feed at Molly's and get the footage of when it happened."
"Yeah, let's do that!" Adam and Kevin approved.
Erin pointed her finger at him. "You do that and I'm turning you into the FBI for illegal hacking." Jay joined in, also pointing his finger at him.
"I doubt the FBI would care about little old me. I'm not the big fish they're looking to catch," Mouse replied.
"Don't worry, Mouse. I'll vouch for you and say that it's research for a case," Adam offered. "We both will." Kevin nodded, confirming.
"I hate all of you guys," Erin grumbled, causing laughter in the bullpen.
Adam went over to Erin with his arms held out. "And we love you, Lindsay. Come here." He pulled her into a hug even though Erin was trying to push him away at first but she quickly gave up and let herself be hugged by the blond.
Jay glared at the scene of his girlfriend being hugged by another man and he tossed a balled up paper right at Adam's head. Mouse laughed at seeing the jealous side of Jay come out, even though the hug was just totally platonic between Erin and Adam. He made a mental note to not to mess with Erin, not as though the detective herself wasn't scary enough anyway. Because she was.
"So you two are official now." Mouse approached Erin when he found her alone in the break room. She was intimidating, for sure, but she was also now his best friend's girlfriend. He didn't know Erin that well and he wanted to know her better.
Erin took her eyes off from the coffee machine and gave him a smile. "Yeah," she nodded her head, almost bashfully. This was a new side to the detective he hadn't seen.
"I'm happy for you guys," he relayed to her honestly.
Erin looked a bit taken aback by his words. "Yeah?" Mouse wondered why it seemed surprising to her. "It's just...I've put Jay through a lot and most of the time, I just think that he can do a lot better than me. I don't even know why he puts up with me, sometimes."
Mouse wasn't expecting to hear that confession. "You're not serious, right?" he found himself blurting out. Erin's mouth parted in surprise at the ferocity of his tone. "Lindsay, do you even realize how Jay feels about you?"
Erin stammered, her mouth closing and opening a few times. "Yeah."
"I don't think you do," Mouse retorted. "Because if you did, you wouldn't be questioning why Halstead is with you." Mouse didn't think Erin knew the depth of Jay's feelings for her or how far gone he was over her. "Halstead is the most loyal person I know. But if you think he's with you because of some misplaced loyalty then you're not giving him or yourself enough credit."
"Mouse, I don't think he's with me because of loyalty," Erin defended herself. She wasn't expecting him to be so confrontational and frankly, neither was he. But as much as he was happy that the two of them finally got their shit together and did what everyone saw coming a mile away, it didn't mean that he was going to stand by and let Erin doubt Jay's sincerity.
"Good."
"I just don't know why he wants to be with me," Erin confessed with a small voice. She sat down at the break table and he found himself sitting down next to her. "Jay's...amazing. We both know that." Mouse followed her eyesight, looking outside to the bullpen to where Jay was sitting at his desk. There was a soft look that took over the normally serious face of the female detective and Mouse grinned inwardly. He wondered if Erin even realized how she looked at Jay. "I know that his feelings for me are genuine. I would never doubt that. I just—"
"You don't feel like you're good enough for him," Mouse supplied. Erin nodded. He understood how she was feeling because that was how he felt most of the time. Like he didn't deserve a loyal friend like Jay.
"Yeah," Erin admitted, shaking her head like admitting that was embarrassing. "He's been there for me through everything, even when I try to push him away."
"Yeah, that's Halstead for you," Mouse chuckled. "Tenacious to a fault."
Erin cracked a smile. "I can't help but think that he deserves someone less...messed up."
"I think Halstead knows exactly what he deserves, Erin," Mouse said, calling her by her first name. He rarely addressed her as Erin but he figured that if they were having a heart to heart in the break room then first name basis was warranted. "He's a pretty smart guy so if he knows that he wants to be with you, I'd trust that. Besides, don't tell Halstead but if you ask me, I think you're the one that's out of his league."
That got her to laugh and Mouse could tell just why Jay had fallen for her. She was beautiful when she laughed. "It'll be our secret, Mouse." She mimicked zipping her lips with her fingers and pretended to throw away the keys. "Thanks."
"Anytime." He gave her a genuine smile. He was never good at talking one on one with anyone other than Jay but Erin was pretty easy to talk to. Plus it was nice to get inside the detective's head for a bit and find out where she stood when it came to her feelings about Jay.
That was why when Jay tried to grill him about what he and Erin had been talking about in the break room, Mouse just patted his friend's chest and told him that he was a lucky bastard. Jay's face lit up and a huge grin broke out on his face as he sheepishly agreed with 'I know'.
"Hey."
Mouse looked at Jay quizzically as the tall detective arrived at Molly's. Not that Jay at Molly's was a strange sight but Mouse just wasn't expecting to see him at the bar tonight. And certainly, not alone.
"What are you doing here?"
Jay took off his jacket and sat down. "Are you kidding me? After a day like today, I need a beer or two." And he did just that as he flagged down a waitress and ordered a beer and a shot.
"I'd say you earned yourself something stronger tonight," Adam spoke, passing his full shot glass over to Jay who didn't even try to refuse before downing the whole shot.
"How's Lindsay?" Mouse asked as Jay grimaced from the strong taste of the whiskey.
"Yeah, where's Lindsay? I didn't think you'd be letting her out of your sight today," Kevin added.
Jay's face turned somber as the event of what transpired earlier today was brought up. It had been a close call today when Erin got kidnapped by Tawny and her crew. Intelligence had done some pretty crazy shit and had come dangerously close to being buried six feet under before but Mouse had never been scared as he had been today when Jay had barked out that Lindsay was with Tawny without knowing that the latter wasn't a victim but one of the people responsible for the home invasions.
Adrenaline had pumped through him as he tracked Lindsay's phone on the computer and shouted at Jay that she was still at Tawny's house. He knew his friend was frantic, he had seen Jay's face drained of all color before he had stormed out of the roll-up to go rescue Erin. Not to mention, how clipped and strained Jay's voice had sounded on the phone as he tried to get Erin's location, like he was about to lose it. The last time Mouse had heard Jay like that was when Hollingsworth had gotten taken as a hostage and even then, Jay didn't sound as scared as he did today.
It was torture to have to stay behind in the bullpen, out of the action, by himself. He didn't know whether Jay and the rest of the guys made it in time before something happened to Erin. He didn't know if it was too late. Mouse didn't know. That was the part he hated the most. As grateful as he is for the job and how it allowed him to get his life back on track, having to stay behind while everyone ran out to action was a bitter pill to swallow.
And it was a pill that didn't dissolve easily. Not until he got a call from Jay almost an hour later telling him that they had the culprits in custody and that Erin was okay. Only then did Mouse felt like he could breathe. He had come to care about everyone in Intelligence over the months he began working there but he knew that his worry over Erin was more than just concern for a team member that he was coming to regard as family. It was more when Erin was involved. Because he knew that if something ever happened to her, Jay wouldn't survive. He wouldn't come back from that.
That much was obvious when everyone came back to the bullpen. They all looked tense and still shaken even though they had the perps in custody and the case was closed. Jay, especially, looked tortured. Erin was safe and they had gotten to her in time but Jay was taking it hard. Mouse saw him hovering around Erin all day and saw the two of them having a private conversation in the break room that looked pretty intense. Which was why Mouse was surprised to find Jay joining them at Molly's without Erin attached to his side.
"She's at the Cliffords' house, giving Carolyn the good news," Jay filled them in after taking several gulps of his beer.
"And you're here." The three of them looked at Jay, confused before realization dawned on their faces. "Lindsay didn't allow you to go with her, did she?" Kevin theorized, a knowing grin on his face.
The look on Jay's face was enough confirmation. Mouse chuckled, already seeing Lindsay getting annoyed by the doting and the hovering. Jay had good intentions but he and Lindsay were one and the same— they needed their space.
So Mouse just patted Jay's back in commersiating, trying to cheer him up. Despite what had happened earlier today, Erin could take care of herself and delivering the much needed good news to a family that was hurting was something she didn't need Jay's company for. But Jay was obviously sulking about it, hence him finishing his beer in record time.
And he was especially quiet the rest of the night. Adam and Kevin were being boisterous and life of the party as usual. Mouse liked being around them. They were so loud that the noises in his head were drowned out. They reminded him of being back overseas with the rest of the squad, just guys being guys. He suspected Jay felt the same way, which was why he chose to join them at Molly's instead of sulking and hiding away at his apartment while Erin was away.
Adam brought his arm around him. "So what's your type, Mouse?"
"Yeah, no offense man but I've never seen you with a girl before," Kevin spoke. "I think it's time we change that."
"Yeah!" Adam rubbed his hands and immediately started looking around the small bar to play matchmaker. "Oh, how about that brunette by the bar?"
Mouse snuck a look at the woman Adam was pointing at. "She's pretty." She was pretty but she wasn't Mouse's type. He wasn't sure he even had a type. It had been a while since he was actually interested in dating. He and Jay had been the single loners in their units, no great love waiting for them to come home. Obviously, things had changed for Jay but Mouse was still in that place— not knowing whether he wanted a relationship or not.
"Not pretty enough for you? Alright, it's alright. How about her blonde friend then?"
Adam just wasn't giving up, not getting the hint that Mouse wasn't interested. "You know what Ruzek? Why don't you look for a woman yourself?"
"Yeah, do that and have Burgess beat him up," Kevin reminded him of Ruzek's status. "After I beat you up for dogging my old partner, of course."
Adam held his hands up. "Hey, nothing's wrong with just looking. Right Halstead?"
"Just leave me out of it."
Mouse laughed at Jay's reply. He had gotten glimpses of both Jay and Erin's jealous streaks and even though they had been playfully joking those times, he could just imagine Erin turning real scary if she caught Jay joining in on Adam and Kevin's mission of finding him a girlfriend.
"How about we focus on Kevin then?" Mouse suggested, shifting the attention away from both himself and Jay. "He's single too."
Kevin shrugged. "Work your magic guys."
"The brunette. She's been looking this way a couple of times already," Mouse observed her eyes on their table before turning back to whisper to her friends.
"Alright, now that's what I'm talking about." Kevin fixed his shirt before approaching the women and soon enough, he was being invited to join their friends' group.
"Okay, I've yet to see that guy get rejected by a woman before," Adam groaned, sounding a little put off that Kevin was just charming. "Not once."
Mouse laughed. "Maybe next time then."
"Maybe next time what?" A new voice joined the group and they all turned to find Erin finally arriving at Molly's. "Is Mouse offering to buy the next round? Because if so, I can use a beer."
She sat down at the empty seat next to Jay and Mouse saw her give Jay a small nod, silently answering Jay's question that she was okay. Jay brushed his hand across hers for a brief second— the most PDA they allowed themselves in public— before he was getting up to get Erin a drink.
"So what are we talking about?" Erin asked as she watched Jay walk over to the bar. Then she noticed Kevin chatting up the group of women. "Is that Kev?"
"Yeah." Adam pivoted his body to stare at them. "We're trying to hook them up."
"No, we're not doing anything. It's all Adam's idea," Mouse corrected him.
"Come on, Mouse." Adam wrapped his arm around him again and shifted his body around so they were both facing the bar, their backs to the table. "Plenty of beautiful women tonight and most of them are into the badge."
"I'm not a cop."
"Eh, close enough." Adam wasn't deterred by Mouse's lack of enthusiasm, like he was living vicariously through Mouse's life of being single. So Mouse just let him be, letting Adam get his enjoyment. His focus was more on Jay and Erin behind them, Jay softly asking Erin what happened at the Clifford's house and Erin quietly telling him. Everytime Mouse turned back around to take a sip of his beer, he saw Jay and Erin's hands on the table, close enough to touch but not too close to look like they were holding hands.
They were a mystery sometimes to Mouse. Their feelings for one another was all over their faces and Mouse had caught them just looking at each other so intensely with their eyes. Yet they were so careful not to slip up in front of other people and show any sort of normal PDA that couples usually share. It was a far opposite of Ruzek and Kim who had no qualms about letting others know and see that they were together, even if discretion was called for in some cases.
On the other hand, Jay and Erin—-heck, Mouse wouldn't blame anyone if they didn't know that the two partners were together off the clock.
But tonight though, Jay was having a hard time keeping his distance and maintaining that professionalism. The concern was written so clearly across his face as he regarded Erin with what Mouse deemed 'besotted' eyes and Erin was allowing his attention, indulging Jay. Probably because she realized a while ago that Jay was only hovering because he was still scared of what happened earlier. That the fussing was also for his benefit too. If Mouse had any lingering doubt of Erin's affection for his friend, then this would've completely squashed it because Erin had to love Jay very much to allow herself to be showered with attention.
"I'm glad you're okay, Lindsay," Mouse told her genuinely when they got a second to themselves. Jay was at the bar, grabbing Erin a glass of water while Adam had joined Kim and Roman at another table after the patrol cops got off of their shift.
Erin just returned a stiff nod, probably because she was tired of hearing people tell her that the whole day. Mouse didn't take offense to that. He'd probably react the same way if he was in her shoes.
"Part of the job, right?" he added, trying to lighten up the mood.
That got her to smile. "Yeah, I guess it is." She laughed softly as her eyes drifted over to the bar where Jay was staring at them as he waited to be served. "Although I'm this close to killing your best friend if he doesn't stop asking me if I'm okay every five seconds."
Mouse laughed. "He's just worried."
"Yeah, I know." Erin sighed. "I guess I can't exactly fault him because I'd probably be worse if I was in his shoes."
"You scared him today, Lindsay. You scared all of us," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper. Mouse had never been good at talking about his feelings or letting people know that he cared about them. Admitting that to Lindsay was hard for him.
Her face softened, like she knew and understood what it took for him to say that. "I know. I'm sorry. I promise Jay that I won't go in without back up again."
"Good. Because you have the best back-up you can ask for."
"He's alright," Erin joked, causing them to laugh.
"What's funny?" Jay asked after he returned to the table with two glasses of water.
Mouse and Erin exchanged glances, agreeing to keep Jay in the dark knowing that it would drive him crazy. "Nothing,," Erin responded, earning a glare from him.
"Alright, I see how it is." Jay griped.
"Lindsay was just telling me that she's tired and wants to go home but you were too busy flirting with that bartender," Mouse joked.
"I wasn't flirting!" Jay immediately denied, his blue eyes bulging as he looked at Erin. "It's Gaby!"
"Oh, you mean the Gaby that you've hooked up with before? The same Gaby?" Erin questioned, playing along. Jay stuttered before he caught on that they were just joking around and he narrowed his eyes at both of them.
"Yeah, real funny guys."
Erin smiled. "I am tired though and ready to go home."
Jay stood up and dropped a couple of $20s on the table. "Yeah, let's go then." He looked at Mouse. "You need a ride, man?"
Mouse shook his head, not wanting to interrupt them. He knew his best friend would want all the alone time he could get with his girlfriend tonight and Mouse could find another way home. "I'll catch a ride with Ruzek, man. Just go home already."
Jay just nodded and led Erin out, who gave him a small smile as she left. Mouse just observed them leave the bar, Jay's hand on the small of Erin's back. A touch that was not too showy but intimate enough so everyone knew that they were together.
Mouse joined Adam at his table. "Okay man, maybe the girlfriend thing isn't such a bad idea." It would be nice to have something like Jay and Erin had.
Adam's face lit up, like Mouse had just given him a Christmas present. "Oooh, we're gonna have some fun!"
Mouse gulped, second guessing his decision and wondering just what he had signed up for with Ruzek.
Mouse was having a hard time concentrating. Then again how could one concentrate on his work when there was a grown man pacing back and forth just yards away from him, boring a hole on the ground with his boots.
"Okay, Halstead. If you're just going to keep doing that, I'm gonna kick your ass," Mouse complained, annoyed.
All that earned him was a sneer from Jay before he started pacing again.
Mouse sighed. "You making a hole in the ground isn't going to magically take you to New York. You can't dig your way there." His attempt at a joke went ignored. "She'll be okay." Mouse decided it was finally time to address the elephant in the room.
"I should be there. I should be in New York with her. Me. Not Antonio!" Jay hissed, frustration mounting in his voice.
To be honest, Mouse was also surprised that Voight didn't assign Jay to accompany Erin to New York to deal with Yates. Instead he had tagged Antonio with the task, a fact that had Jay seething. Which might've just proved the point that Voight was trying to make. Jay was clearly way too emotionally invested and his relationship with Erin could cloud his judgement. Erin was already an emotional mess as soon as Yates' name came up, even though she was trying her best to control herself. They needed someone that could think clearly and could actually say 'no' to Erin. He wasn't saying Jay was whipped but let's just say that he had never seen Jay actually refuse Erin anything she wanted.
The bullpen was eerily silent the whole time Erin and Antonio were off in New York. There was no case just in case something jumped off with Yates. Everyone was on edge, knowing exactly what Yates did to their little family. It was hard for Mouse to forget since he was literally sitting at Nadia's desk. It was still hard to believe that she was gone sometimes and that someone so full of life had her life cut short.
Mouse tried to get absorbed into his work, clicking and clacking away at his computer with mundane things he tasked himself with. Anything to pass the time until they got more updates about Yates and his victims. However none of them were prepared for the update they got instead.
"Yates escaped from prison!" Adam jumped up from his chair. "It's all over the news."
Everyone jumped into action immediately at Adam's announcement. Mouse got back onto his computer to get any new updates that the new websites didn't have while Voight was already on his phone to call SVU to get confirmation.
They were kept in the dark for hours, not knowing what was going on other than Yates and some guy named Carl Rudnik had escaped from the prison and were on the run. SVU was too busy to give them constant updates and keep them loop in. They had two serial killers to catch after all.
"Fuck!" Mouse looked up to see Jay slammed his phone on the desk. They had been trying to get Erin or Antonio on the phone for hours but neither of them were picking up. And it looked like Jay was getting more angrier with each unanswered call. "They're not answering." Jay shook his head, frustrated. "How come no one's fucking answering?!"
They all watched helplessly as Jay stormed off into the break room and slammed the door. Everyone's eyes fell on Mouse since he was the closest to Jay, wondering how to approach the guy who resembled more like an angry lion stuck in a cage right now. After Adam filled them in on the latest update that 2 men were found dead— their necks snapped— Mouse got up from his chair to approach Jay.
"She was supposed to be coming home right now," Jay spoke as soon as Mouse entered the small break room. "Voight told them to get home today."
"Maybe they're already on a flight. That's why they couldn't pick up their phones," he suggested, although he already knew otherwise.
Jay wasn't buying his act. "No. I know Erin." He rubbed his face, already conceding to the fact that Erin wouldn't give up the chance to go after Yates. "She's gonna go after him."
"Antonio's with her. He's not going to let her run off alone."
Jay didn't look convinced. Jay didn't have to say it. Both of them knew that if Erin was dead set on going after Yates, no one would be able to stop her. Not Antonio. Not Jay. No one.
"I should be in New York with her instead of sitting here, twiddling my thumb like a dumbass!" Jay growled, slamming his hand on the table.
"You think Erin would listen to you?"
It was clear that Jay thought that he was the best person to talk Erin down. Maybe he was. But the one thing Mouse knew about Erin was that when she had her mind set on something, nothing was going to change her mind.
"Jay, maybe you should—-"
"She made a promise to me," Jay suddenly spoke, his eyes staring out the window at nothing in particular.
"A promise?"
"After what happened with Tawny and her crew, she promised me that she wouldn't go anywhere without back-up." Mouse nodded, understanding. "Yeah, Erin's stubborn and she's not going to let Yates get away but I'm her back-up. I'm supposed to be there with her."
Their talk was interrupted when Voight knocked on the door and opened it. Mouse was actually surprised that Voight would actually knock in the first place.
"Got in touch with Benson. They need all the help they can get there so Erin and Tonio are gonna stay and help them out." Voight told them what they pretty much already suspected. "We're gonna call it a night here until they need us."
Mouse watched as Voight left and he turned back to Jay. "Maybe you should go home and get some rest."
"I can't sleep," Jay quickly refused.
"Okay, so we won't sleep. We'll watch some movies. You know how you're always talking about getting me to watch all of the Fast and the Furious movies. We can do that," Mouse suggested. He hated those movies but if sitting through 14 hours of mindless drivel about race cars and family was going to help Jay then he'd gladly do it.
It took more coaxing and pleading but he finally got Jay to agree to go back home. Mouse joined him, ready to keep his best friend company and keep him from jumping off the ledge. Or better yet, booking a red eye to New York without anyone knowing.
As much as he cared about Jay, there was only so much Vin Disel and poor acting he could take before he fell asleep on Jay's couch. WHen he woke the next day, Jay was already up and watching some documentaries on television. The dark circles underneath his eyes told Mouse that he didn't get any sleep last night.
"There's coffee," Jay told him when he noticed that Mouse was awake before going back to watching the documentary while his phone was clutched tightly in his hands.
Mouse yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "You get ahold of Lindsay yet?"
Jay responded with a stiff nod. "Only briefly. She couldn't really talk." His tone was clipped, unhappy that Erin hadn't been in a talkative mood.
"Yeah, I'm sure it's just pure chaos over there right now."
Jay didn't bother responding back this time. Mouse knew better than to push so he just got up and grabbed himself a cup of coffee. He'd offer Jay one but he had a feeling that it wasn't the first pot of coffee Jay had put on this morning.
Since Intelligence didn't have a case and they were still waiting to be called into action, they had the day to themselves. And since Jay hadn't kicked him out yet, Mouse didn't bother going back to his quiet and small apartment. He had an inkling that despite being silent the whole day, Jay didn't want to be alone with his own thoughts.
So they sat through another one of Fast and the Furious, Jay's attention more on his phone while Mouse was too busy trying to figure out what was the difference between the 5th and 6th movie in the franchise. They were all starting to melt together into one mindless glob for him. He was just about to ask Jay if 'family' was really the answer to all the problems when Jay's phone rang and Erin's name flashed across the screen.
Jay jumped up and immediately answered the phone, going to his bedroom to talk to his girlfriend. But his place was tiny and the walls were thin because Mouse could hear everything despite not really wanting to eavesdrop on their private conversation.
"How you holding up?" He heard Jay ask. "I'm worried about you." A lull on Jay's side while Erin was probably trying to tell Jay not to worry. "Babe, I know that he's a monster and he doesn't deserve to make it to a jail cell but you got to keep your head on about this."
Mouse tried to keep his attention on the Rock but it was hard to with how Jay's voice carried.
"Remember that promise— I want you to be safe— don't go after him alone, Erin. He's not worth—" Mouse tuned the rest of the conversation out as best he can. It seemed way too private for him to be overhearing.
A few minutes later, Jay came back, looking a little bit lighter. Mouse guessed actually getting a chance to talk to Erin helped him a lot.
"How's Lindsay?"
Jay plopped himself back down on the couch. "Okay, I guess. As much as she can be under the circumstances." He covered his face with his arms. "They found another body. A female trooper."
Mouse's eyes widened. "Yates?"
"Yeah. Erin thinks he's going on another spree. Like he was when he killed...Nadia."
"Oh man. She got to be freaking out right now."
Jay sucked in his breath, his worry radiating off of him. "Apparently they got everyone in on the manhunt. Cops, ATF, State Troopers. They're not letting him get away."
Mouse gave a comforting pat on Jay's shoulder. "They'll get him, Jay. He's not gonna get away with it and he'll be back where he belongs. In a maximum cell for the rest of his life."
Mouse spoke too soon because apparently, Yates had one more stop to make before his final destination.
Chicago.
After his brief call with Erin, Jay seemed a bit more calmer and in control. They had even gone into the bullpen, ready to take on another case in the meantime. But it all went to hell when Antonio called them in a panic, shouting over the phone that Dodds, the guy Erin had been working with, had been shot and that Erin had run off after Yates alone.
Jay lost it, nearly throwing his chair through the window of Voight's office. Probably as revenge for the Sergeant being the reason why he was still in Chicago while Erin was off to who know where.
No one dared make a noise and they could cut the tension in the bullpen with a plastic knife. Everyone was waiting for the phone to ring, for Antonio to give them an update. Hopefully with good news about Yates being caught and Erin coming back safe. But Mouse knew they all had the memories of what happened the last time with Yates playing on their mind in a loop. Yates was a dangerous sociopath and he had already taken one person they cared about. A member of their family. If he took another…..
The ringing of the phone rang out in the silent bullpen and they all gathered in a huddle, bracing themselves for whatever Antonio had to say to them.
"Lindsay's here," was the first time Antonio said. They all breathed sighs of relief and Jay nearly toppled over with the way his body sagged. "She's a little banged up but she's ok."
"Banged up, how?" Jay asked.
"She took a tumble in the woods while chasing Yates and hit her knees. All things considered, she's lucky."
Mouse saw Jay's hands turning white the way they were clutching the back of his chair.
"And Yates?" Jay gritted out, pure hatred in his voice.
"Still on the loose." Antonio went quiet for a beat. "There's something else." The tone of his voice let them know that it wasn't good news. "Yates left a note before he got away."
"A note? What did it say?" Voight questioned.
"It was addressed to Erin," Antonio replied. "It said 'see you at home, Erin."
Mouse heard Jay growl after hearing the information that not only was Yates still messing with Erin, he was on his way to Chicago. He looked at Voight and saw the older man clenching his jaw while identical looks of rage were both on Adam and Kevin's faces also.
Yates was practically begging to be killed at this point. A Hank Voight special had his name on it.
"We're coming home after Lindsay gets her knee bandaged up. We got a flight overnight and we'll be there first thing in the morning," Antonio relayed to them and hung up.
"Yates is coming here," Adam said, looking around the group. "We got to be ready for him."
"We got to take the son of a bitch down," Kevin growled, anger clouding his voice.
They all had the look of determination on their faces. They didn't have to speak the words out loud. They all had the same goal— Yates wasn't going to leave Chicago alive.
Mouse didn't even bother trying to get Jay to get some rest, knowing that it was a futile effort. The lines of worry on his friend's face seemed to have gotten deeper overnight. It was a perfect match to the tired and exhausted look on Erin's face when she and Antonio got back to the bullpen.
Mouse saw Jay restraining himself from reaching out to Erin. His hands were clenched into tight fists like he was physically stopping himself from pulling Erin right into his arms. They were at the bullpen after all and Mouse knew the two of them weren't going to let anything shatter their professionalism. Not if they could help it.
So Jay had stepped closer to Erin, their faces just inches away. The rest of the guys busied themselves, allowing the couple to have the small moment to touch base with each other.
"I'm fine," Mouse heard Erin's voice. She sounded like a tightly wound spring, trying her hardest to stay in control of her emotions. Jay heard it too because Mouse noticed that Jay didn't push his girlfriend any further, just accepting her answer with a nod.
But it didn't mean that Jay was any less worried. He remained close to her, his eyes never quite leaving her— quietly assessing how she was. Mouse kept in distance and stayed in the background. Erin looked like she already had enough people hovering over her and one more, she might just snap.
After the fifth time in an hour that he caught his friend asking Erin how she was doing, Mouse was in awe of the restraint that Erin had. He expected her to blow up already and demand Jay to stop coddling her. Mouse would've lost it if he was in her place.
So before Jay could ask Erin if she was okay again, Mouse stepped in and pulled Jay to the side before he sabotaged himself.
"Okay you got to stop," Mouse told him after Jay asked him what the hell was he doing.
"Stop what?"
"You fussing over Lindsay, asking her how she was every five seconds? You have to stop."
"I'm just worried," Jay defended himself.
"Yeah no shit." Mouse didn't think 'worried' was enough to describe how Jay was feeling over Erin. Overprotective. Suffocating. Stifling, more like. "I'm surprised that she hadn't bitten your head off already."
"She knows that I'm just concerned," Jay asserted.
"Yeah and that's probably the only reason why she hadn't lost it on you yet. But I have a feeling that if you ask her how her knee is one more time, it'll do it."
Jay sneered. "So what? I'm just supposed to stand by and do nothing? I can't be worried about my girlfriend?"
Mouse held his hands up. "Hey, I'm just saying you're close to the case so take it from me. You and Erin? You guys are the same. So tell me how you would feel if you were in her shoes and someone kept on asking you how you were every five seconds?"
That seemed to do the trick as realization dawned on his face. "I'd bite their head off," he admitted quietly. He rubbed his face, tiredness and exhaustion all over it. "Yeah, I get it. I have to give her space."
"She's back in Chicago. She's okay and we all know that Voight's not going to let her out of his watch. She doesn't need you adding to it too. You can worry, just do it at a distance," Mouse advised him. It was strange that he was the one giving Jay relationship advice, considering the last relationship he was in was before he shipped off overseas. But Mouse knew how Jay felt about the girl and sometimes all a person needed was some outside perspective.
Jay seemed to take his advice to heart because Mouse saw him give Erin the space she needed but didn't want to ask for. Voight, on the other hand, had her on the short leash. Jay was doing his best but Mouse saw several moments where his facade cracked before he reeled himself back and kept his distance.
Like when Jay slipped up and told Erin not to touch the severed hand holding a note from Yates that was delivered to Erin. Erin, unsurprisingly, didn't heed his advice. Not when the note was from Yates.
Mouse had to give the sick bastard credit because he really knew how to mess with people. It was a sick twisted game to him, messing with people's lives. He had already killed so many women and Yates still wasn't satisfied.
Yates was focused on Erin— a fact that Mouse knew drove Jay crazy with rage— and Yates was determined to get her alone. So it had been unsurprising when Erin had him pinged the phone and got the address where Yates was at.
It was also unsurprising when Erin had gone after him alone. Again.
It was another instance where Mouse wished more than anything that he was out there with the rest of the team, in on the action instead of being stuck in the bullpen, waiting for any sort of news. He hated feeling useless but he couldn't help it. The most he could do was ping a phone or two and not for the first time, he was left wondering just what kind of purpose his life had.
But all thoughts of self-loathing was pushed to the side when everyone came back to the bullpen.
"The bastard's dead," Kevin filled him in. "Lindsay shot him."
Mouse's eyes widened and he hated that brief moment when he questioned if Yates attacked first or not. Not that Erin shooting Yates wouldn't be justified either way. He was learning that things were not so black and white like they were back in Afghanistan. There was room for many shades of gray here and they all had one thing in common— Yates deserved to die.
Of course, just because the shooting was justified didn't mean that it wouldn't have a heavy toll on Erin. Yates was dead but the aftermath of his terror was still very much here. Erin might be the one who felt it the most but it didn't change the fact that they were all feeling it. Every single one of them.
Antonio and Al were the first to leave, probably eager to get back to their family after a day like today. Adam and Kevin took off next, probably off to shake off the events with a couple of beers. Erin had been whisked away by Sergeant Benson and Mouse watched as she gave Jay a small smile and a silent promise to meet him after. Voight had taken off after that, leaving only Mouse and Jay in the bullpen.
Jay put the last of the papers into the case box. "You're not going home yet?"
"Soon," Mouse replied, the unspoken answer of how he'd leave when Jay left went ignored. Mouse turned off his computer and headed over to the front of the bullpen, leaning against Erin's desk.
Jay exhaled and gave him a shake of his head, like he couldn't believe everything that transpired these past couple of days. Yates was dead. Nadia was avenged. And Erin would finally get some peace.
"Lindsay seems fine," Mouse approached the subject slowly.
Jay just nodded. "Yeah."
Mouse frowned. "You don't think so?"
"Would you be?" Jay shot back. Mouse just shrugged, knowing Jay had a point. How could anyone just shake it off that easily? Despite Erin trying to come off as fine and okay as she claimed to be all day, she must be a wreck right now.
"I guess not," Mouse replied. "But she's strong. She'll get through it."
"Yeah." Jay crossed his arms, his whole body language screaming how tense he was.
"How about you man? You okay?"
Jay just replied with a shrug. "I'm not the one who went through hell today," he mumbled.
"You went through your own version of hell. Can't be easy watching someone you lo-care about go through something like that."
It spoke to how occupied Jay's mind was that he didn't notice Mouse's almost slip-up. Usually he was a lot sharper.
Instead he just chuckled humorlessly. "It's harder when someone you care about is Erin Lindsay," Jay returned. Mouse furrowed his eyebrows, wondering what Jay meant. "It's just...ugh!" Jay growled, fisting his hands through his hair. "She just frustrates the hell out of me sometimes! She's just so set on putting on a brave act and pretending that she's okay when she doesn't have to. I want to be there for her. I've tried to be there for her. I keep trying and trying to let her know how important she is to me yet I feel like I keep running into a wall."
"I'm sure she knows, Jay." In fact, he was certain that she did. But Jay looked like he needed to let some steam off after the past couple of days. He had been bottling his fear and worry over Erin up that it had to burst at some point.
"Yeah," Jay conceded. "I was scared man," Jay admitted with a small voice. "I was terrified when I heard that she had gone after Yates." Mouse kept quiet because he knew it wasn't easy for Jay to admit it. For him to voice his thoughts out loud to someone else. "If I lost her tonight…"
"You didn't," Mouse asserted. "She's fine, Jay."
Jay closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. "Yeah." It seemed like he needed to keep reminding himself of that. "She promised that she wouldn't go in without backup."
Mouse nudged Jay's foot with his, wanting his friend's attention. "What did you say to me when I took out the bullets from the gun when I was held hostage?"
Jay frowned before he remembered and he rolled his eyes. "To extenuating circumstances."
"To extenuating circumstances," Mouse repeated.
Because Jay had been right then just like Mouse was right in this case. Each circumstance was different. As much as it would've been great for Erin to keep her promise and not go after Yates alone, they all knew that there was no way it would happen. Just like if the shoes were on the other foot and Jay had a chance to go after Ben Corson's killer if he was still alive, there was no way Jay was giving that chance up.
Jay's phone chimed, signaling a message. And by the way his face lit up, Mouse had a clue who it was.
"Erin?"
Jay nodded. "Yeah. She's done getting talking with Olivia. Want me to pick her up." Jay smiled as he pocketed his phone. This was Erin's way of reaching out to Jay because there were plenty of ways Erin could've gotten herself home if she really wanted space. But apparently what she wanted was for Jay to take her home. She wanted Jay.
"Get out of here, man," Mouse shooed him out.
Jay chuckled. "I'm out of here and I'm telling you, I'm not letting her out of my sight again," Jay promised. "Do you need a ride? We can drop you off?"
Mouse shook his head. "Nah. I can get myself home. Go! Go home with your girlfriend."
Jay didn't need to be told twice as he ran out of the bullpen, Mouse shaking his head with just how happy Jay looked at Erin's reaching out to him. It was like his frustration and fear from just minutes ago was gone the instant Erin asked for Jay.
His friend was so whipped.