Asriel went toward Jason. One of the humans Sans absolutely hated for messing with Papyrus. An idiot who probably kept using his petals to bring Frisk and Papyrus closer. The things I have to do just to keep these souls. "Hey." He started to kick his leg playfully. "I need a favor from you."

"A favor?" Jason answered. "Wait, who are you?"

Mm. Yeah. He was in the not-so-bright point of things. "Where is the other idiot? I mean, human?" Asriel asked. "And why is any monster really hanging out with you so much?"

"We get kind of . . . lonely." Jason looked over toward Bratty. "That's all."

"Doubting that," Asriel smiled knowingly. "Really did want it to be Frisk and Papyrus though, didn't ya?" Asriel sort of shuffled himself around. "I wonder what would happen if I told Sans . . . there was actually another way to-"

"We're actually married!" Bratty blathered out. Jason tried to calm her down, but she couldn't seem to help herself. She even showed Asriel a very, very small ring. "Once we exhaust all the ways to get Sans with Frisk or Papyrus or whatever, then we'll have to -" Jason covered her mouth.

A baby monster alligator. Asriel knew it. From day one since those monsters had been hanging on. It wasn't the most tasteful thing, but those humans must know how to change the 'lock' too. Interesting. What was more interesting though, was this marriage thing. "How'd that happen? Did you have a cute little ceremony and express your feelings?" Bratty opened her purse and gave him a letter. It looked official. Real official, except for a couple of things?

It was typed with different names on it, and they were crossed out. On the bottom was a date, signed a week ago. The first name of the person? "Freddy can marry?"

"Yeah, poor Catty. She was mad about it," Bratty said. "I picked the right guy. He can't marry himself."

Asriel decided to just join them at their table. He slid in beside Jason. "So, let me guess? Somehow, Freddy 'married' you, so you could have a cute baby alligator? Just in case?"

"Yeah, somehow," Jason answered. "Whatever. What's the big deal? Love is love. Can't we go with that?"

"He wanted it to be legal on the human side. The humans have documents and official ceremonies with certain people who can do it," Bratty said to Asriel willingly. "Freddy had gone through it for his sister, Lisa. She apparently wanted him to learn the marriage so she could have a quiet marriage. Whatever that means."

"He got paid for it by her," Jason said. "It was supposed to happen before this. He just crossed out her and her fiance's name. Put in ours."

Oh. So? "Still living with your parents?"

"Judge so harshly, Man? I can't have a baby with someone I'm not married to, my parents would kill me," Jason insisted. "Even if Bratty's a monster, they'll accept that until they accept anything else."

And he fully intended to go back home. "So? How are you in the baby department, Bratty?"

"Eh? I like the marriage department!" She showed off the ring again. "I don't know about the other. He doesn't know either. That's why this is, like? Why Papyrus has to get with Frisk first. Motherhood really doesn't wow me yet."

"Can we stop talking about this?" Jason insisted. "We have really been trying to get Papyrus with Frisk. Fatherhood with a baby alligator is not gonna be sweet. If Sans knew though? I would have no choice. He would only keep me alive to fulfill this deal."

"If Sans could take you out, he would have a long time ago," Bratty said.

Well? It didn't much matter anymore. Sans would not want that anymore. In fact? "I need you to marry Papyrus and Frisk."

Jason looked at him a little oddly. "I can't do that. Freddy is the only one who could."

Asriel grinned. "No. You are going to marry Papyrus and Frisk,a Freddy marries Sans and Frisk." He waved his paw with a warning. "If you don't want a baby gator, you're gonna help."

" . . . weird," Jason said. "Does Sans want Frisk for real or something?"

"Knew there was something there. He like, probably wanted to hide it from his brother," Bratty said.

Asriel would not confide the truth in him. He would not even confide in Frisk or Sans about it yet. "Do you want a baby gator or not?"

"No. Okay, fine, but what are you going to say to make it happen?"

Farrah answered the door to a strange invitation. Toriel was trying to explain something to her. Sand and Papyrus did not look at all happy with it. The suggestions. "Are you sure it is necessary?"

"Yes," Toriel smiled. "Asriel, my wonderful child, came up with it. The concept is sound, and it will help out with your image."

"The whole me saying 'I was just an overprotective brother' should be good enough," Sans complained. "We don't gotta overcomplicate it."

"Agreed, plus I don't want to get married!" Papyrus complained. "No way, no mutual ceremony, it complicates so much!"

There is no way it is legal, Sans. It's more likely I will eat a spider donut than those two being official priests. They can't, it is illegal.

It's for show. Got it. The monsters must not know it was all for show. They were not all knowledgeable about the human world. Sans went ahead and communicated with his brother telepathically.

"Of course, I know you do not know the real father, but you are saying it is Papyrus'," Toriel said. "Until it is born, this strategy is best. You and Sans can go through the human ceremony upstairs in secret, and Papyrus' will be public. That way we are covered both ways."

"Is it . . .?" Sans would have said something else, but he caught that look on Toriel. She didn't want a doubt in any monster's mind that Farrah wasn't an upstanding princess. Although she wasn't, just part of her soul. Chara. "Can we not get married on like Wednesday?" He asked. "Mettaton is having a two hour special."

"You are not taking this very seriously," Toriel warned him. "Do not try to skip out on this. Alphys and Asriel are helping the humans with the official speech words. This will be a lovely ceremony." She smiled at Farrah. "Dress nicely for your big day on Tuesday."

Farrah looked back toward Sans, and then back at her. "Tuesday is taco night and it always gets clothes messy."

"We can move taco night to Wednesday," Papyrus said to her. "We will all look nice, without taco stains, for the ceremony on Tuesday."

"We are just saying taco stains, and not stains in general?" Sans asked.

"Dress appropriately for an important day!" Toriel was not liking the way it was being handled. "Each will stay married until the father is found. There won't be any saving face if it is Sans', but ... At least we will not have to go through another embarrassing human ceremony." She stood up. "After it is found out though, we will plan on a monster ceremony."

Huh?! "Not necessary, yo!" Sans insisted.

"Marriage should be done both ways, for humans and monsters." Toriel bid them good day and left.

Geez. Farrah looked toward Sans and Papyrus'. "Maybe we should tell her it is just a bone?"

"Nah. Same plan. Once the barrier opens, all three of us are taking out."

"Agreed, I am not going through a monster ceremony for a bone." Papyrus looked nervous. "It is bad enough we have to go through a fake one. Let's just admit that it's a bone to her."

"Voting with Papyrus," Farrah admitted. "She and Asriel know the truth."

"No one else does," Sans insisted. "I didn't judge the situation wrong. Toriel will have to follow protocol when we get out, and Asgore? He won't let us live."

"Oh. Right." Papyrus sighed.

"It makes sense why Tori is doing this too," Sans said. "Once she tells Asgore about Farrah's secret? He just couldn't murder a monster that ended up with his daughter. At least, that is what she thinks."

It wasn't what Sans thought though. "You don't think even that would save you guys?"

"Anomalies in the world can't be allowed to live. Final word. It's too dangerous. Once we have that bone, we are splitting out of here. I will come back later for my stuff to try and help Stephan."

"But if Toriel tells Asgore, then certainly they will think to find us with Girlfriends mother?" Papyrus pointed out.

"I don't think if we are there, that she will be itching to tell so we die. That and Asriel owes us a little. We can yank our soul from him," Sans said. "Easily, so he knows not to mess around. This marriage thing might even be his idea. Tori does think of Farrah as her daughter. He who marries her? Kind of a prince."

But not really. But. Psychologically. "Like a son-in-law." That would sway Toriel.

One and a half weeks into the birth of the bone. Farrah was trying to become more like her old self. At least the Skeletons helped her feel more at home. She was either a stranger, a murderer or a messed up combo of the people others really wanted instead.

This wedding that made them move their taco Tuesday was just another reminder. Monsters actually gathered around the property to witness it. Why? Maybe some knew the truth about her. Maybe some didn't believe she really made one choice. Maybe they were bored?

Either way. I want this done and over with.

Me too, Farrah. Sans came around her first for the small, secret fake wedding. "Won't take long, then we can go do our own thing. But hey, I get to see you in a pretty red dress again."

It was the nicest thing she had owned. The dress she had come back in from the other timeline. Sans dressed up well too. Not something he did very often. "Well you look nice too."

"Rings." Freddy came around the corner and shoved it in both their hands. "When I say so, exchange." He got behind the bed area of Sans.

Farrah sighed. Hopefully he tried hard enough that it wouldn't look fake. Toriel and Asriel were coming. They were the only witnesses. Counting on these humans? Toriel does not know it's fake. She thinks it's just by correct words though. I hope he studied the words.

I don't know. These guys aren't uh, the best? If I were an aggressive monster, they'd be dead already. "So we ready for this little shindig?"

Farrah watched Freddy. He was receiving the standard fair well. More than 'in sickness and in health'. He was using paper in front of him though. He was smart enough to get it typed out. Toriel did mention Alphys helping. That made it look much better.

Freddy even had some fairly decent rings. Real decent. Farrah stared at the ring for a time before it was time to slip it on Sans finger bone. Toriel made sure they had nice rings? She wanted the best for Chara.

Aw, good enough for a princess? Thanks, that's a hell of a compliment.

Farrah tried to hide her chuckle. Pretty sure the ring I am trying to slip on your finger is what I am talking about? Really trying.

Sans tried to jam it on his bony finger to stay in place. "Glue maybe?"

"Hold your hand up so it doesn't fall off during the ceremony," Freddy answered. "Afterward, slide it on a necklace and wear it."

Huh. Freddy thought ahead. Sans slipped on her ring and it stayed there. It is so sparkly. It almost blinded her. She put it back down. This would make a great distraction weapon. If I ever needed it.

Getting married and the ceremony pretty ring just got dubbed a weapon. Only you. "Uh, I didn't do it. Do what?" Sans spoke to Freddy, losing track of what he said. "Oh, I get it. I do."

"I do too," Farrah said. Oh yeah, last part. She playfully kissed Sans on his bony cheek. An odd look from him, but at least it was over. Oh? Freddy had papers to sign? Signing too? "Is this necessary?"

"Last part," Asriel insisted. "Then it is over."

Just? Really authentic. Of course, it wasn't. There was no way it could be. Maybe he was someone who was focused on a good job. Maybe royalty was paying him for a job well done?

Either way, it was done. Everyone headed downstairs for the public ceremony.

Farrah glanced at Papyrus. At Sans. Then at Jason. He was not convincing at all.

"And you take the girl right there in sickness and in health'."

"Where do I take her to?" Papyrus asked. "A hospital if she is sick. If she is well, where should we go?"

"Uh?" Jason looked confused. "On a date? Anyhow. Sickness and in health' as long as you both shall live."

There were supposed to be some rings and some word exchanges there typically. Jason clearly didn't study as well as Freddy.

It looked like the monsters didn't pick up on it though. They all seemed to think it was a nice ceremony.

"Okay. Um. So, Papyrus, you say 'I do' to her, and then you say it back," Jason insisted.

Farrah and Papyrus' both said 'I do'.

"Okay. Your married," Jason said. "Go and . . . Be one to your . . ." Struggling to end it. "Shit, rings." He just remembered. "Rings are? Have a special ring of friendship to make marriage more successful."

He was so lucky monsters didn't know the human tradition ceremonies half as well.

But, at least it was over. She got some congrats before everyone left her and her new husband alone.

"Hey, finished early," Sans pointed out. "Hey, Papyrus? Let's make our new misses some tacos."

Yes! Farrah smiled. Early wedding meant Papyrus' taco Tuesday was on again.