Conquest.
The story of human history.
Since time immemorial, great leaders have risen from humble beginnings to…
Do shit.
And so it was with the Third Street Saints.
Since conquering Stillwater, the once small-time street gang has evolved into a media empire.
A Saints movie in development. Kanji Tatsumi and Ann are pop-culture icons. And Yosuke…
Well, who gives a fuck about Yosuke?
The point is, the Saints are on the world stage and every criminal organization wants their crown.
It was only a matter of time before one of them took the fight to the Saints.
At a basketball court in an empty neighbourhood, we see a bunch of goons beating up Yosuke, until a giant purple soda can drops down from the sky and gives the him a can of a soft drink called "Saints Flow". After Yosuke drinks the soda, he gets super powers and beats the goons up, after all the goons are beaten he takes a basketball and dunks it into the net.
"Supa Excellent!" says the Yosuke while holding a can of Saints Flow.
The video becomes blurry as it turns out that it was playing from a man's cell phone in an elevator, with two other people there with him, those people are Kanji Tatsumi and Ann of The Third Street Saints.
"Japanese commercials, easiest money you'll ever make" says a man
"Ha, grand larceny's right up there, you ready for this?" says Kanji
"No worries, I do my own stunts" says the other man
"Hey! You're just a ride along man, so don't get all Hong Kong style in there" says Ann with her voice distorting by the voice changer around her neck
"I am a method actor, if I'm gonna a scene with any emotional truth. I gotta make it real" says The Unknown Man
The elevator door opens
"Trust me Yuuki, it'll be real" says a masked man as he enters the elevator
"You're robbing a bank dressed like yourselves?" asks Yuuki
"Hell yeah! who doesn't wanna be Kanji Tatsumi?" says Kanji
"Ultra post-modernism, I love it!" says Yuuki in a distorted voice as he puts on his mask
Kanji, Ann, The masked man and Yuuki all enter bank with their guns.
"I'm good with the Saints movie, but do we really gotta drag this asshole actor around?" asks Ann
"Cut Mishima some slack, he's just researching his role" says the masked man
"Ugh, I hope he signed a waiver" says Ann in a disgusted tone
"All right people" says Masked Man as he shoots two shots in the air
Mishima jumps on one of the teller's tables.
"Nobody moves, Nobody dies!" says Mishima
"Yuuki!" shouts Ann
"Sorry, jumps his line, can- can we go again?" asks Mishima
"You all know the drill" says Masked Man
"Can I get a picture with the boss?" asks a man
"Say Sleaze!" says Ann
Mishima walks up to one of the bank tellers and points his pistol at them
"Get in line bitch!" exclaims Mishima
"Hey don't be a dick!" says Ann
"You call yourselves gangbangers? You're a bunch of pussies, you should be all up in their shit like-" says Mishima before he turns around and sees the bank teller pull out a gun.
"FUCK!" Mishima exclaims
The bank teller tries to shoot Mishima but misses and hits a cardboard pop-up, the rest of the bank tellers get their guns out and start shooting.
Kanji, Ann, The Boss and Mishima all begin running and get to cover behind a desk.
"You got a plan or are we just shooting all these motherfuckers?" Kanji asks The Boss
"That is my plan" says The Boss
"Works for me" says Kanji as he leaves his hiding spot and starts shooting
Kanji, Ann, The Boss and Mishima start heading towards the vault mowing down anyone that got in their way
"Oh my god, couldn't you wait to kill him until we found who these guys are!?" Ann exclaims
"No" says The Boss
"Uh we're gonna die?" says Mishima
"What happened to I do my own stunts?" The Boss asks Mishima
"Hey-Hey do these look like squibs to you?" says Mishima
"Alright people lets find that vault" says The Boss
Kanji, Ann, The Boss and Mishima finally make it to the door that leads to the vault.
"I..I can't breathe" says Mishima while running out of breath
"No way we're gonna crack this thing. Ready for plan B?" asks Kanji
"Yup" says The Boss
"Mishima come over here" says The Boss
"Got the tools right here homes" says Mishima as makes his way towards Kanji and The Boss
"So what's Plan B? We drill it?" asks Mishima
"Fuck no! We blow it" says Kanji
"What!? Not cool man!" exclaims Mishima
"Time to get to work" says The Boss as he's holding a sticky bomb
The gang and Mishima make their way up to the room above the room and set the charges.
As the charges go off the gang run to a nearby desk and cover, after the charges blow up the floor and reveal the vault the gang makes their way towards the huge chasm left on the wall from the charges, Mishima sees a red button under the table.
"Lets get the chopper and lift this baby outta here" says The Boss
"Hey guys, you can call off the helicopter, I found a way to open the vault!" says Mishima
"Don't touch it!" Kanji exclaims
The alarm begins to go off.
"Mishima, are you trying to get us all jail time!?" shouts Ann
"What? I don't wanna be some dude's bitch!" says Mishima
Mishima then runs away.
"Do I have to go after him?" asks Ann
"Forget about it he'll be fine" Kanji replies
The gang then get's ready as a group of SWAT guys start pouring into the room
"How long till the chopper gets here?" Ann asks
"I don't know probably like two waves of SWAT guys?" The Boss replies
"Sounds about right" says Ann
The gang defend themselves as more and more SWAT come into the room
Just when they were about to lose hope and think that their trapped, the chopper arrives.
The Boss begins to latch the chopper to the vault and tells the pilot to go as Ann and Kanji go out the back.
The Boss then starts shooting at the endless wave of SWAT and Police on the roof until unfortunately a police helicopter hits the chopper and the chopper falls down, The Boss jumps out of the chopper just in time and hangs onto a nearby broken window, The Boss climbs through the broken window and lies down on the floor only to be surrounded by SWAT guys aiming their guns at him.
"Well…shit" says The Boss