[A/N: I have no idea why I wrote this (actually I do, I have a weird sense of humor, haha); the topic had popped up when I had Googled 'Victorian Hobbies' and of all the things on the list, this one caught my eye…

Azucar, thank you so much for your lovely review! Your compliments really touched me, and the reviews really do keep me going! Since I can't PM you, I'm just sticking a note here, that a lot of what you brought up will be addressed in future stories! Almost all of it actually, haha! :) Hang in there and keep reading!]

A Beginner's Guide to Anthropomorphic Taxidermy

She barged in, flinging the door open, as was her custom. Will only had a moment to hide what he had been looking at under a pile of papers on his desk. "Lizzie! I've asked you a hundred times to knock first!" he exclaimed, completely exasperated.

Lizzie sighed, "Your door was partially open, why should I bother?" Then she paused to look at him more closely. "Why is your face red?" She asked as she approached him and studied his face, they were almost nose-to-nose.

"Do you have a fever?" She asked concerned. "Worried about me?" He asked, thinking that was kind of her. "I need you to take me somewhere, but you won't be able to if you're sick." She touched his forehead. "I think you feel warm." Before he could assure her that he was quite fine, she pressed her lips to his forehead. "You are definitely hot. Do you need medicine? Will? What's wrong?" He had stood up quickly upon feeling her lips on his forehead, his desk chair toppling behind him.

"I said I was fine Lizzie!" His voice went up an octave. He swallowed, "I'm fine, I'm not ill." She peered up at him, "Hmmm…" He didn't sniff, so she knew he wasn't lying, but he was up to something. She just knew it.

"Anyway, where do you want me to take you?" He asked, hoping to change the topic of the conversation, and lead her away from his desk. "Did you want to go get chocolates or cake?" He knew her love of sweets would definitely distract her. She shook her head, "No, I want you to take me here. Father is too busy." She had come in holding a flyer, and she now held it out, in front of his face. He squinted, it was too close for him to read, so he took it from her.

He wrinkled his nose in distaste, "An Anthropomorphic Taxidermy Exhibit?" He sighed, "Lizzie, this looks absolutely revolting, why would you want to go there? Are you planning on doing this to Skip?" He asked, semi-hopeful, he wasn't particularly fond of the dog, it would nip at his ankles and yip at him.

"WILLIAM!" She shouted, slapping him on the arm, "NO! I want to go because…" she hesitated, she didn't want to tell him that she thought it would be good practice to examine dead bodies, like a coroner. "Well, there's nothing else to do. And it's raining so we can't go outside. This is indoors." She crossed her arms, "Well? Will you take me?" Will groaned and Lizzie cheered, "YES! I'll go get ready." And she ran off. Why can't that girl take up a respectable hobby like flower arranging? Or embroidery? He sighed with dismay and put away his papers.

Will snapped the umbrella shut and shook it off. They had made it to the exhibit, after he had nearly lost an eye, because Lizzie had initially insisted on holding the umbrella. He practically had to wrestle it away from her, "Will, I am perfectly capable of holding an umbrella!" She had said. "Lizzie, this is the second time you've hit me in the head with it, I'm taller, just let me hold it." He said, not bothering to hide his ire.

She begrudgingly conceded, he did have a point, so he had taken the umbrella from her. "Come here, so you won't get wet." He took a step closer to her and angled the umbrella over her head. His left shoulder was getting wet, but at least Lizzie would stay dry. She sighed, she had wanted to make sure he wouldn't get wet, every time he had gone out in the rain, he seemed to catch a cold.

Now that they stood in the entryway to the exhibit, Will looked around in awe, This is definitely weird, but maybe it'll be more interesting than I had thought. He smirked as he caught eye of a tableau of two mice, seemingly copulating.

"Lizzie, we should get tickets… Are you alright?" He asked, looking down at her. Her face had turned slightly green. "We can go if it's too much for you." He said. She shook her head, "No, I have to get used to these things." She took a step forward to the ticket booth, leaving Will perplexed in her wake.

I don't think I will ever have a hope of understanding her, he thought as he purchased two tickets for them. They entered and took stock of the exhibit.

All around the exhibit hall were small diorama's, depicting every day scenes from life. The major difference being that small taxidermic animals had replaced the humans. Each of the little creatures were dressed in the appropriate attire for the scene in which they were eternally frozen in a moment of time.

Will chuckled, "Hey, Lizzie, have a look at this one!" It was a scene of rabbits cheating on a math quiz. She came over to see what he was pointing at, "You can even see the math questions… hey, he didn't even solve it correctly… they're both going to fail!" Lizzie giggled, she had gotten over her initial shock and had decided it wasn't so scary. Although the glass eyes were still slightly disconcerting.

"Will! This one should go at Scotland Yard!" Lizzie called out to him from one exhibit over. He came over to see what she was looking at and laughed, it was a rats' den being raided by the police. "Do you think your father might want that in his office?" He asked her teasingly. She wrinkled her nose and walked further on.

"I should put this one on Miss Dawkins' chair…" William guffawed. It was a tiny hamster soldier, armed with a miniature sword. "Lizzie, are you looking to get expelled?" He asked her. She shrugged, "School is boring, they don't teach us anything useful." Her voice faded as she came to an instructional display.

Take out the entrails; remove the skin with the greatest possible care… She read, paling slightly. "Lizzie, maybe you shouldn't be reading that…" Will said, his concern for her mounting. Before she could reply, they heard a commotion coming from one of the other rooms. They looked at each other and ran over to see what had happened.

"It's missing! The kitten bride from the wedding diorama! What will we do?" A voice wailed. Will and Lizzie tried to stifle their giggles. It was a phrase neither of them thought they'd ever hear. "Maybe she ran off to marry a weasel…" Will said. Lizzie snorted, "Why would anyone take one of these?"

"Because young lady, they are incredibly valuable. This art is the desire to protect the sacred, forever beautiful, frozen in time. To portray life with a certain whimsy and lightheartedness." Will and Lizzie looked up into the cold dark eyes of a man who had overheard Lizzie's comment. She gulped. "I… I apologize, sir, I didn't mean to offend…" She said. The man was creepier than the exhibit.

He narrowed his eyes at them, "I wouldn't expect children to understand anyway." Uh-oh, Will of course bristled at the comment. "I do understand, you are showing that death, which most people fear, doesn't have to be so scary. Sometimes it even brings peace." She crossed her arms and glared at him. He raised an eyebrow, reevaluating his opinion of her.

"Lizzie, let's go." Will said, pulling on the sleeve of her dress. Instead of letting him lead her away, she stood her ground. "I'm going to find the missing kitten bride." She declared. The man who had bemoaned the missing kitten bride heard this, and approached them.

I am never taking Lizzie anywhere again. No matter how much she begs me. Will thought, annoyed at finding himself in such a bizarre situation.

"Really young lady?" The man came over upon hearing her comment. She nodded resolutely. "Yes. Now, when did you last see the diorama with the kitten bride?" She asked, in full fledge investigative mode. Will sighed knowing she'd never leave until she solved the mystery.

"She was in the diorama this morning, when I had opened up. I hadn't walked by again until now." He said.

"And how many people have been here until now? Not just guests, but also staff." Will asked. Lizzie looked up at him, impressed with his line of questioning. She raised an eyebrow at him, as if to say, So you are going to help? He shrugged back at her, Seems like I don't really have a choice.

She nodded, and turned her attention back to the man, "We've had ten guests so far. A family of four, a couple, and two people who had come separately. And the two of you. As for staff, that would be me, manager of this establishment, and a caretaker who only comes in the evenings. And of course, Mr. Hewes" He said, gesturing to the creepy gentleman. "And how are you involved?" Lizzie asked curiously. "I own this collection. My father was the artist." "Oh…" Lizzie said, blushing, I had better only say nice things about it.

"The other visitors, are they all still here?" Will asked. The manager nodded, "The exit is also the entrance, the exhibit loops around. I would have seen anyone leave. No one has yet." Will nodded. "Will, we should try to interview everyone before they go." He nodded, "One more question, did uh, kitten bride, have any monetary value on it's own? Removed from the exhibit that is." "No," Mr. Hewes said, "The whole diorama is worth quite a bit, but the pieces alone devalue." Will nodded. "We'll keep you posted." Lizzie said, and grabbed Will by the hand, pulling him into a corner to confer.

"I think it's a prank." Lizzie said. Will nodded, "I can't even imagine who would want to buy a dead kitten dressed as a bride on the black market. It could also be revenge, ruin the exhibit." Will said thoughtfully.

"But, why take that one? Wouldn't they destroy more?" Lizzie wondered aloud. Will shrugged and said, "Let's interview the visitors. We can ask if they've seen it, or pretend that we're interested in their opinions." "Good idea! You're not bad at this, you have potential at investigating!" Lizzie said. Will chuckled, inordinately pleased by the compliment.

Lizzie took his hand again and pulled him along. She stopped short and he almost bumped into her. The family of four was just ahead of them. The parents were admiring a diorama of hedgehogs at tea. Their children, two boys of around 10 and 12 years old, bored, had picked up two of the characters from a different display and had set up a mock fight. "Take that you villain!" The older one said, holding up a raccoon sporting tiny boxing gloves. "On guard!" The younger boy said, holding out a skunk. He had turned it so the rear stuck out, right into the face of the raccoon. He began making flatulence noises.

Lizzie rolled her eyes. Will's face had gone completely red from trying to hold back his laughter. She looked at him, "William Wellington, I do NOT understand you one bit." That just set him off completely, "You're one to talk!" He managed to gasp out. "Ugh, come on, let's go question them." She said.

"Hi!" Lizzie said, approaching the boys. They stopped fooling around to look at her. "Hello. Would you like to play with us? There are a lot of toys here." The younger one said. Lizzie look at Will, she saw him eying a taxidermic fox. "Will…" She hissed, "We are on a mission!" "Right, right." He said, but was still wondering if the fox could overcome the skunk in a fight.

"We can't play right now, we were wondering if you had taken the kitten bride to play with?" She asked them. The older boy laughed, "A bride? No, we want to play with the fighting animals!"

Their parents, finally noticing that their children were uncharacteristically quiet, turned to see what had happened. "Alex! Jasper! Those are NOT toys! Put them back, this instant!" Their father shouted. "But Poppa!" They whined. "NOW!" He commanded. The boys sighed and put the stuffed animals back.

"I don't think they took it." Lizzie said. "Me either." Will agreed. "Let's see who's next." They walked through another hallway. It's one with mutated taxidermic animals. "Ugh!" Lizzie exclaimed, transfixed by a cat with eight legs. Will felt bile rise up in his mouth. "Let's get out of here…" He said. "Yes…" She said, for once not disagreeing with him.

Two people were in the next room. "Excuse us, have you seen the kitten bride?" Lizzie asked a woman who was staring at a diorama of kittens serenading a piglet. "Excusez-moi, mon cheri, parlez-vous Français?" Lizzie sighed in frustration. She had fallen asleep during most of her French classes. "Non… erm…" Lizzie stumbled over the words, "Le chat… bride?" The woman wrinkled her nose in confusion.

"Avez-vous vu la mariée chaton?" Will queried, in possibly the worst French accent Lizzie had ever heard. "Non, désolé mon petit." She smiled at them and waved goodbye.

"You speak French?" Lizzie asked Will. He seemed to be full of surprises today, Between speaking French and being pretty good at investigating, she was getting more impressed by the minute. "Lizzie, I did go to school you know." He purposefully neglected to mention that he didn't speak much more French than that.

The last person in that room was a young man. "Excuse us, have you seen the kitten bride?" Lizzie asked him. "Oh, hallo there! No, sorry little lady, it was missing when I had stopped by to look at it too. I thought maybe it was still a work in progress." "Oh, well, thank you." Lizzie said, growing more disheartened with each questioning. The man noticed, and tried to cheer her up, "Why don't you ask the couple just up ahead? They might have seen it." "Thank you!" She said.

Lizzie and Will walked into the next room. "I don't even see anyone in here." Lizzie said, looking around. "Will, wait, I think I hear something… it sounds like moaning? Maybe someone's hurt!" She exclaimed. "No! Lizzie, wait!" Will said, recognizing the sounds for what they truly were.

Will tried to pull Lizzie back but she had already stepped forward, and stopped as she peered around a protruding wall.

Will came up beside her. "Will, are they kissing?" She asked. "Yes…" He answered, his face bright red. "Oh. It doesn't look like fun." She said, wrinkling her nose in confusion. Why would anyone want to do that? It looks like they're trying to eat each other's faces.

"You might change your mind by the time you're older." Will said, secretly hoping she would. Lizzie just shrugged.

"We should leave them alone." Will said. "But we need to interview them." She replied, but made no move to interrupt them. Will sighed, "Lizzie, do you really think they look interested in stealing a dead kitten bride?" " You might actually have a point." She agreed, her shoulders slumped in dismay. Will felt bad, he knew she really wanted to solve the case.

"C'mon, why don't we have a seat, and come up with some new ideas." He said, taking her hand, and gently leading her over to a bench at the back of an adjacent room. She sat down, elbows on her knees, resting her chin in her hands. Her brow was furrowed, he could tell she was thinking of other possibilities.

"It's not the worse thing, you know." Will said softly. She turned to look at him, "What isn't?" She asked him, confused. "If we can't solve this. Some things just aren't meant to be figured out." He said, trying to make her feel better. She shrugged, "I know, I just feel bad disappointing the manager. And that creepy Mr. Hewes." She sighed.

He was debating on whether or not he should put his arm around her shoulders to comfort her, when he saw her tense and sit up straight. "Will," she said, putting her hand on his arm, "Did you hear that?" Her face lit up, blue eyes bright. "Hear what?" He asked, cocking his head, not sure what she was talking about.

"There!" She said, patting his arm excitedly, "You can't hear it? I think it's coming from that door!" She stood up and ran over to the door. She tried pulling on the door handle. Will went over, "I think I hear something too. Is that meowing?" He asked confused. "Lizzie, maybe we shouldn't open it…" What if the kitten bride came back to life? He shuddered at the thought, I'm going to have nightmares for at least a week after this.

Will watched Lizzie pull something out of her pocket. "Lizzie! You cannot pick the lock! I won't let you." She didn't even spare him a glance as she knelt down to be at eye level with the lock. "Lizzie! Are you even listening to me?" He threw his hands up in frustration, and paced in a tight circle. Then he walked back to her, "How do you even know how to do that?" He asked curiously. "Father taught me." She said. "Why?" Will asked curious, wondering if he should learn how to too. "He said it might come in handy one day. I've been practicing… almost there… Aha!" She cried out as she heard a click.

She had been pulling on the door handle, and almost tumbled backwards. Will quickly leaned over and caught her under the arms before she could fall. "Oof, thanks!" She said with a smile. He helped her up, and she placed a palm on his chest to catch her balance. "Will, your face is red again." She said. "I'm fine." He mumbled, "Let's see what's inside." She nodded, and with a deep breath, pulled open the door.

It was a storage closet, full of brooms and cleaning supplies. When they looked down on the ground, an orange and white cat was laying on a fallen towel, licking clean the kitten bride. "Will?" Lizzie said. "Yes, Lizzie?" He replied. "I almost wish we hadn't found it." She said, her face turning green again.

"Lizzie?" Will said. "Yes, Will?" She replied. "If I have nightmares tonight, I'm waking you up." He said. "That's fine. I don't think I'll be able to sleep anyway…" she said closing the closet door softly.

That night…

"Will? Are you awake?" Lizzie softly opened the door to Will's room and stepped inside. He was sitting up in bed, arms crossed, glaring at her. She stifled a giggle. "What did you dream about?" She asked him, sitting at the edge of his bed. "That the kitten bride was chasing me to marry her, but I was trapped in the exhibition hall and couldn't get away!" He was scowling but she couldn't help but giggle, it made a funny picture in her mind. A smile quirked up at the corner of his mouth.

"How about you?" He asked, genuinely curious. "The skunk and raccoon were fighting." She said. "The skunk won by the way." He chuckled. She had left out the part where she had gotten caught up in the fight, and Will had to come and rescue her.

"Will?" She tentatively said. "Hmmm? What is it Lizzie?" He asked. "There's another exhibit tomorrow on…" she started to say. He cut her off, "Lizzie." "What?" She asked. "No!" He said as firmly as he could. "Please Will! It'll be fun!" She said. He sighed.

"Thank you!" She exclaimed, happily. "Good night Lizzie." He said, wondering what he had just agreed to. "Good night Will!" She stood and headed to the door, then turned to say, "Oh, by the way, we need to get there early, I'll wake you up at 6! Bye!"

"NO!" He shouted, throwing a pillow at her, but she had already left. He flopped back onto his pillows, staring at the ceiling. Why do I always give in to her? He asked himself, annoyed, but he already knew the answer. He closed his eyes, slightly anxious, but ultimately looking forward to tomorrow.

The End!

[A/N: I don't speak French, it was one of my worst classes, so if I butchered the language via Google Translate, I'm really sorry!

Also, the item Will was looking at in the beginning of the story, and hid from Lizzie, isn't what you might be thinking ;) I'm posting another story about that…]