Another day, another patient to help. Balqis was taking the interspecies cart from the subway train to travel home. To avoid any suspicion, she wore a face-mask that hides her face while her head donned a beautiful purple headscarf that matched her long-sleeved blouse.
Shades of purple were her favourite colours since they have a calming yet creative demeanour.
Balqis still has another patient to help but this one wanted to talk to her on the phone rather than showing up at the clinic. She understood since not many would want to travel far or show themselves if they are uncomfortable.
She decided to schedule the session in her own home where she lived with her beloved husband. While talking to her patient, she began to prep meals for the both of them. Tonight might be something with rice since she knows carnivores love to eat carbohydrates to make up for not eating meat.
With that, she applied more moisturiser cream on her hands and dabbed a specific disinfectant to her face under the mask. She doesn't want anyone to know that she has sensitive skin since most of them would be disgusted.
...
During her talk with her patient, Balqis felt a torrent of emotions trying to help. She felt her patient's pain and emotion, to the point she even cried just because she doesn't want her patients to feel alone when they talk to her.
She was done with the cooking and taking to her patient when she felt a pair of strong, scaley arms wrapped around her waist. Balqis giggled, leaning up to stroke the cheek lovingly. She turned around for a bit to kiss him on the snout.
"Don't worry, I applied my prescribed lip balm," she assured him, seeing his tensed expression relaxed.
"I know, my dear," he sighed, his claws holding her close. "I'm just happy that you are back."
"I'm happy to be home, Gosha."
It was an odd-pairing: a human and a Komodo dragon as a couple. What is even more baffling was the age gap between them which was 20 years apart. Yet, they both are comfortable in each other's company, sharing stories about their days and spending time together every night.
They never had children for the both of them are occupied with the life they have built for themselves.
The only ones who knew about their strange relationship were Legosi, Gosha's wolf grandson and his family. To a certain extend, the animals at the hybrid kindergarten and old police chief Yafya.
"You had a call with a patient?"
Balqis nodded, telling him about her day which consists of different patients that need someone to talk to or to advise on their problems. Gosha may not talk much but his eyes and attentive head was enough to know that he is listening. She then asked him about his day to which he told her his routine and visiting his grandson.
The old woman smiled, love to hear him talk about his family. She has learnt about his past when they started dating thirty years ago. Even in his eighties, Gosha has never looked old. He was just as handsome as the day she met him at the public library.
From library meet-ups, to having the courage to go out with him, Balqis has never felt so happy to have someone who understands and helped her at her lowest point. As for Gosha himself, he hasn't felt this sort of love for so long and developed his own courage to go to public places with her without fear of what others might say.
The memory he cherished dearly was when they both went to a public onsen bathhouse together.
After dinner, the both of them went to bed. Not to sleep yet but to enjoy each other's company while Balqis scribbles her thoughts in her journal while he closed his eyes. The humming of the air conditioner built for reptiles filled in the silence.
"Balqis," Gosha called her quietly. The elderly woman stopped writing to give her attention at the Komodo dragon. His eyes looked tried but his smile was still etched on his face.
"Yes, sweetheart?"
He brought up his claws up to caress her face. Balqis leaned into the touch, kissing each finger before snuggling him under the covers. His embrace was so warm for a reptile, the sound of his beating heart comforted her anxious one.
"Thank you," he murmured, holding her close. "For everything..."
Balqis giggled, kissing him on the cheek this time. The both of them closed their eyes to relax, a type of habit they have done for themselves. But tonight, Balqis felt something was wrong when she woke up to get herself a glass of water.
She shook Gosha awake, wanting to ask if he wants some water as well. No response. Balqis tried again, whispering his name but her heart was pounding as if she just ran a marathon. Was it just her or was Gosha's body colder than usual?
"Gosha...Gosha? My love, please wake up..."
There was no response.
...
The funeral took place immediately after Balqis called the ambulance, Yafya and Legosi.
It was decided that he would be buried next to his late wife, Toki and late daughter, Leano. Balqis watched from afar since he deserved to get attention from his grandson, old friends and those that know him.
She was out of place compared to the animals that attended his funeral.
It has been thirty years they have been together. The bonds they had, the memories made and every secrets they shared. Balqis loved and cherished all those thoughts and yet, a selfish part of her wanted to say that he should have his own burial somewhere where there is nothing but flowers.
"Ah, there you are Balqis," the voice of Yafya broke the old woman out of her thoughts. The stallion moved next to her, staring beyond the forest as well. "Aren't you going to say goodbye to Gosha?"
Balqis smiled, shaking her head while tears flowed down her cheeks. "I want his family and friends to do it first before me."
Yafya snorted. "Balqis, you are his family! I've never seen him smiling and laughing again after you showed up. I will admit, I thought he was going to repeat the same mistake as last time but I was wrong. I was wrong about him...And about you."
Balqis dabbed her tears with her handkerchief. She was confused when the stallion pulled out a cream-coloured envelop from his pocket, handing it to her. Her eyes blinked, to clear away the tears and to make sure the words on the envelop was true.
"I found it when I was in the room," he told her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he sighed. "Come back once you are done reading, okay?"
"Yafya...I don't think I can. Gosha's back with his family, his real family now. I'm just something to fill the void that was left."
The stallion's ears pinned back, clearly irritated. "I insist, Balqis. He loves you, you know?"
When he left, Balqis opened the letter to read what was written:
My dearest Balqis,
It seems like yesterday you came into my life. I couldn't recall how long but I've always wanted to write a letter to you as if I were in high school again.
Quiet, anxious and soft-spoken.
Those were my thoughts when we first met. Yet, you brushed me off and talked to me like a friend rather than a monster. I was prepared to walk away yet something about you made me want to stay.
I couldn't express myself in words but the silence between us at the library and the occasional breaks where we asked each other about the books we read was enough to make me stay. After that encounter, remember our first drink together? We had, cold tea with black pearls that were odd but delicious!
I thought things would end from there but we continued to meet up at the library to tackle both of our problems. The more time we spent with each other, I was afraid. I was afraid of harming you, repeating a cycle that harmed those around me and I was afraid for myself. I'm very old and weary to the point pain meant nothing for me.
And yet, you brought out something that was once locked away out of safety. I wasn't sure if I wanted to pursue with you since I have a family, well what is left of my family. But I am glad that I did because I've never felt this happy before. The memories, the moments and love are the things I cherish the most with you.
I'm going away, my butterfly. I don't know when I am going but I can tell. I wasn't sure how am I going to tell you because I'm afraid of losing another memory with you. I don't want to lose your smile, your gentleness, the way you describe things from a book and most of all, your concern for others including me. I want you to take some time for yourself too, okay?
I never regret any moment with you, Balqis. When your time comes, I will be waiting for you at the gate. I will always be with you.
I love you
I love you
I love you.
Your beloved, Gosha
With that, Balqis began to sobbed profusely. Her trembling hands clutching the letter with those dear words, mumbling incoherent words to herself. As she was crying, the gentle breeze caressed her face. Was that Gosha saying his final goodbyes and wiping her tears away? She hugged herself, for a bit. After slow breaths, Balqis finally have the courage to go on.
Slowly, she dabbed her tears and make her way to the casket to see her beloved for the last time.
He is handsome, as he should be.
Please listen to "Don't Let Me Go" by Cigaretted After Sex while reading this!
Is it bad that I cried when I write and read this?
I feel like Gosha deserves better after everything that has happened to him. I know he has Legosi and all but I feel sad to see him alone sometimes in the manga, you know?