I got this stupid idea after I spilt coffee on my pants. Hope you enjoy!
Yoda's POV: "Kockle crap!" Said I did, to my friend Juan.
"Yes master, that was a close one. What are we going to do with the spice now? Obviously the Hutts cannot be trusted with it. They don't even tip well!" Juan, then started loading the spice in the trunk of our spaceship, he did.
"Hmm, report to Obi wan I will, then drop the spice off in lower coruscant, we must." Replied I did. Juan and I, in charge of the council's illegal spice operations we were. Almost caught by the cops, were we.
"Let's go master." Juan told me. Then, opened the door to my space Honda 4x4 pickup, he did.
"Ok, but careful we must be, padawan Juan." Turned the ignition key to my Honda, I did. Off were we, flying the many parsecs back to coruscant.
"Master, how come we have to do this business again?" Asked me, Juan did. "I thought we received tax money from protecting the galaxy."
"Ha! Nice joke, dipshit you must be to believe that!" Took some spice I did (for my headache, of course it was) then put the ship on autopilot I did, while texting Obi wan on my deluxe apple hologram Xll. What an idiot, Juan was. Thought government was not corrupt, he did.
Obi Wan's POV: "Anakin, no!" I said for the five thousandth and eighty fifth time.
"Screw u mawstah!" Anakin leaped from our space cruiser into a rock full of enemy easy to kill battle droids.
"Hawh! Ima gunnah kell u alls!" Anakin shouted, while wildly swinging his lightsaber around. The red moon lit his aggressive silhouette making him look like a oversized duck on drugs. He finally finished killing the battle droids, when he collapsed over, clutching his throat.
"Not again." I sighed, rushing over to help him.
"Clarghhe!" Anakin choked out.
"For the last time, just because it fits in your mouth, doesn't mean you are entitled to eat it!" I yelled, while smacking his back.
A slimy battle droid finger shot out of his mouth and into the large rock we were standing on.
"Youww! Taht huwt! Yousa awr just jewouls caus I'm da choesan won!" Anakin spat at me.
"I never should've let Jar Jar teach you grammar." I replied, picking him up by the scruff of his leather jacket and putting his Pokémon hat back on.
"Were awr we goin now?" Anakin asked, while trying to measure himself to my size.
"We are going back to the temple. Yoda has reported an emergency requiring us to be there."
Anakin started to measure himself to me. He was only 4"5', very short for a twenty year old. "Awh we gunna see Padmé?" Anakin asked as we got in the star cruiser deluxe bronco, "She mihht need sum protecing, pwus, look! Iwm awmost at yousa shoulders!"
"No, Anakin. I'm sure senator Amidala will not require us to protect her." I started the engine.
"Y did seh behcome Queen and den senator?" Anakin asked.
"Like I said before, that part of the galaxy is filled with idiots with fancy hats." I answered for the eighth time today.
"Hawgh! Hahwhawh!" Anakin started to guffaw, slapping his hand on his knee repeatedly.
"Why do I always get so unlucky?" I sighed, while activating the hyperdrive.
Many more coming! Enjoy!