Hi sweet peaches, how are you doing? I hope you are healthy.
Well, today I bring a story previously posted on AO3 (Miss_Butterfly), in case you are familiar. I'm just getting my stories in order xd.
The story is of the KisaTake couple, because while I was reading the manga, Kisaki's obsession could very well take an interesting turn and become more than hate. So here you have the story that no one asked for but I wanted to read of KisaTake as soulmates.
Hope you enjoy the story. ❤️😊
Kisaki is five years old when he first reads about soulmates.
The subject is fascinating, the way the emotions are described and the immense happiness when people find that person made specifically for and by them sounds wonderful.
Kisaki is five years old and dreams of fairy tales without end.
However, the statistics unlike fairy tales aren't so happy, the probability of people actually finding their soulmate barely reaches twenty-seven percent of the population.
However, when Kisaki meets Tachibana Hinata, he wishes that she would be the one to awaken all those emotions that his books talk about. And, there is something about her, a soft light that attracts like honey to bees; she is kind and sweet, and she is like the princesses in the stories Kisaki sometimes reads hidden in the cocoon of his blankets.
So Kisaki becomes a little obsessed, reads everything there is to know about soulmates, researches until he is sure he must be the most knowledgeable child on the subject.
And the thing is, people don't have marks or timers on their wrists, there are no names written in neat and beautiful calligraphy just for the sake of knowing it's from your soul mate, no, that would have been too easy and when has life ever been easy? No, things are more subtle and more difficult at the same time.
So, when he looks at Hinata and feels his heart racing; when he's close enough to her to smell her perfume and his hands sweat; when she smiles at him and the world seems brighter, he thinks he has been one of the lucky ones to find her, yet the world stops, a hero's cape flutters and Hinata's eyes light up for someone else.
Meeting Hanagaki Takemichi is like encountering a huge boulder in front of the road. He is short, awkward, naive, extremely childish and have the biggest tear glands in the world because in the short time Kisaki has followed him, he has seen him cry more times than he can count on his fingers and toes, and yet there is something about him, the way he stands in front of obstacles and no matter how difficult and scary they seem, Takemichi manages to cross them with a trembling smile and a river of tears on his cheeks.
"Takemichi-kun is so cool," Hinata sighs, her eyes following Hanagaki's figure as if he were the sun that lights up the world, and jealousy rage in Kisaki's chest with burning fury. For without effort and without real merit, Hanagaki has snatched from him the only thing he longs for.
So when he hears the boy say that he will be a hero, but not just any kind of hero but one belonging to a gang, despite how idiotic he finds the statement, Kisaki decides that he will be the one to become the greatest gang member because if that's what it takes for Hinata to see him as she sees Hanagaki, Kisaki would see the world burn for fulfilling it.
But of course life isn't simple, and no matter how hard he tries and tries, still Hanagaki's shadow covers him and swallows him up.
And it is that, between the gap between him and Hinata becomes bigger and bigger, she and Hanagaki have started dating.
"Do you believe in fate, Kisaki-kun?" Hinata had uttered, on one of the rare occasions they were now meeting.
He had shrugged, as he watched her smile. Then her eyes met his, and with the sweetest expression she had told him:
"I do, and I think I've finally found him. I finally found my crying hero, my soulmate."
And how was Kisaki supposed to compete with that? However, the odds were still on his side. So, he cut his hair short, dyed it blonde and plotted and plotted. In the end soul mates were overrated and he would prove to Hinata that he was much better.
The world gets a lot bleaker after that. And that's because Kisaki is trying, moving up in the gang world isn't easy, but he has the brains and the cunning and even though Hinata seems further out of his reach, he finally manages to join the Tokyo Manji Gang.
That's when life takes a one hundred and eighty degree turn and bludgeons him with everything he's got, because he discovers that the boy he hates and admires in equal parts; the whiny boy with a hero complex who effortlessly stole Hinata's attention, isn't Hinata's soulmate, and while that revelation should be a relief, it isn't because against all odds, Kisaki is part of the twenty-seven percent of the population blessed to find his soulmate; because against all odds it is he and not Hinata who has the connection to Takemichi.
Shock, surprise and horror fills Hanagaki's blue eyes when in the middle of Mikey's call to introduce Kisaki as the new leader of the third squad, his shoulder collides with Kisaki's.
A shiver runs through them from head to toe, the world and the universe seem to realign. And it is so absurd, so implausible, that for the first time in what seems like years, Tetta Kisaki doesn't know what to do.
For although he had been following the boy for far too long, they had never met face to face. Hanagaki had only been the stepping stone to his goal and now—
Hanagaki is as always impulsive and despite everything he has just discovered, it doesn't stop him from punching Kisaki in the face. The punch itself is a surprise, but that's easily surpassed compared to the way his nerve endings seem to ignite and a pleasant warmth floods his stomach at the slightest touch of his soulmate. And from the gasp Hanagaki lets out Kisaki isn't the only one to feel it.
His hands light up with longing and excitement to touch him, to feel that connection, and yet Kisaki is much more restrained than his soulmate, so his hands clench into fists and he smiles at him, before unleashing a punch himself that sends Takemichi to the ground.
And he had longed for so long to do that, that the thrill touching Hanagaki's skin only multiplies a thousandfold. But he forces himself to pull away.
He needs to plan, to reconsider what's happening and, and—
His eyes travel one last time to Hanagaki's sprawled figure and—
He needs to figure out what to do with the emotions that fill his chest, because he had loved Tachibana Hinata for what felt like practically his entire life, but now—
He touches his cheek wounded by Takemichi's fist and heat curls over his belly.
The discovery is terrifying and fascinating, and Kisaki finds himself reading books about soulmates in the same obsessive way he did when he was five years old.
Moreover, the longing he feels for Hanagaki Takemichi —now that he knows and has felt their connection—, is a hundred times worse than the longing he once felt for Hinata.
So, against your better judgment, he awkwardly stands awkwardly outside Hanagaki's school. It's not hard to figure out his group and his usual departure schedule when he's totally used to following it. However, the punch he received made it clear to him that he isn't in Takemichi's good graces, and although he has done many really questionable things, he has been careful enough to keep his hands clean, and he is sure that there is no reason for Takemichi to suspect him, however, Hanagaki seems really apprehensive about his presence. So, Kisaki doesn't want to push his luck by surprising him by going straight to his classroom, so he waits, trying to look relaxed as he watches several guys and girls pass by, and when he finally sees him, he feels his heart jump in his chest, until he looks at the shy way he takes Hinata's hand and something dark unleashes in his chest, but it's the fact that he doesn't know if it's because of Hinata or Takemichi, that keeps him from leaving before being seen by the couple, because when he finally reacts, it's because of Hinata's sweet voice.
"Kisaki-kun?" She sounds slightly confused, however, it is Takemichi's look of surprise and disbelief that makes him feel slightly nervous. "What are you doing here?"
Takemichi's eyes are bright and a shade of blue hard to find in the average japanese population, Kisaki can't help but feel a certain satisfaction knowing that his soulmate has such a distinctive and beautiful trait.
"Do you two know each other?" Takemichi's voice rises before Kisaki can answer Hinata's questions. He sounds incredulous, confused and a little scared.
"Kisaki-kun and I live in the same neighborhood, we are technically neighbors, Takemichi-kun," Hinata pronounces, her eyes shining with obvious adoration as she watches Takemichi's goofy grimace of surprise draw on his face.
And it is the hot anger and jealousy that fills Kisaki that makes him utter more harshly than he intended:
"We need to talk Hanagaki-kun." The tone admits no retorts and although it seems that Takemichi is about to protest, his eyes stop on Hinata —for what seems to Kisaki an eternity—, and he smiles at her with a softness and gentleness that only make his anger grow.
"Sorry Hina-chan, I'll walk you home next time." His Takemichi's voice is sweet, and the longing in Kisaki rises like a storm because he's the one Takemichi is supposed to see and talk to like that, however, Hinata finally leaves and when Hanagaki's attention is finally on him, a nervous feeling fills him. "What do you want, Kisaki-kun?"
His blue eyes look at him with obvious suspicion and his posture is rigid, as if he wants to be anywhere else where Kisaki isn't. And the dark, stony feeling that sometimes fills him resumes its strength as he looks at him.
"You know why I'm here," Kisaki tells him sternly. Takemichi's posture only stiffens and his eyes avoid him. "You felt it too."
He declares with absolute certainty, while without being able or wanting to avoid it, his hand rises until it touches Takemichi's cheek and the result is instantaneous, his nerve endings come alive and the heat in his belly curls, while a gasp escapes his lips, and Hanagaki's cheeks turn slightly red and his eyes dilate.
It's addictive, the electrifying sensation that runs through them, as intoxicating as the first time Kisaki watched a bunch of boys, some even stronger than him, pay obeisance to him. And the way Takemichi's lips open too temptingly, and without wanting or being able to avoid it, Kisaki leans over him, eager to cross those centimeters that separate them and—
"NO," Takemichi utters forcefully, pulling back with horror written all over his face, and tears welling up in his eyes. "I can't do this, I—I CAN'T."
And then, as if his scream and expression of horror weren't enough, he runs off, leaving Kisaki with emotions in a mess, and a heart that sinks deeper and deeper into the depths of the abyss. And although there is an unpleasant emotion on his chest at the obvious rejection, Tetta Kisaki isn't the kind of person who gives up so easily, and even less so when he knows that something belongs to him.
Hanagaki Takemichi is a naturally kind, friendly and non-judgmental person, according to what Kisaki has managed to gather from observing him, and yet when it comes to Kisaki, the blue eyes narrow in suspicion and obvious rejection, as if he knows all the dark secrets he keeps. Yet Kisaki doesn't back down, there is something satisfying about the chase. Something that fires him up and only gets that much stronger, with each glimpse into Takemichi's life. Also, the knowledge that they are soul mates, seems to have flipped a switch in his libido, because since their meeting, Kisaki wakes up with a half-built erection and slightly damp pajama pants and—
There is a heady feeling in the very thought of sinking down and possessing Takemichi, in stripping him of that purity that seems to envelop him despite the violent path he chose in trying to become part of a gang. A feeling even more addictive than his dream of a happily ever after with Tachibana Hinata.
And yet—
"You're always so much fun to be with," Hanma pronounces with a smile, watching from a distance as Takemichi smiles amused at Mikey and Draken's antics. It's become a more regular occurrence to follow the crying child, and though he doesn't understand Kisaki's obsession, it's fun to watch him chase the child. "So entertaining."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Kisaki asks, his eyes following Takemichi's figure and— Is that how Hinata felt all the time when she looked at him? Like he was the center of the universe, like Takemichi was the sun that lights up the world.
Hanma laughs, a laugh that resonates uncomfortably loud.
"I'm talking about how entertaining it is to watch you break butterflies' wings," he pronounces, watching as Takemichi's figure is finally lost in the crowd.
Kisaki clicks his tongue. His brow furrows and he turns the other way, his hands in his pockets are balled into fists and there is a bitter feeling gnawing at his chest.
Because contrary to what Hanma thinks, this time it is Kisaki who seems to be losing his wings. And despite how pathetic the revelation makes him feel, the overwhelming need to have Takemichi around is much stronger.
In the end, Icarus always falls for the beauty of the sun.
Kisaki thinks and plans according to circumstances. He foresees two or three steps ahead according to each decision he makes, and although lately his plans seem to be going to shit, that doesn't stop him from restructuring what he wants. And is that, although at first the whole business of joining the gangs was a step to conquer Hinata, the truth of the whole thing is that the power of seeing allies and enemies surrender at his feet had been really addictive, then Hinata had become just a plus, an extra prize when he will finally consolidate as leader of the underworld. However, the revelation of his soul mate becomes a check on the chessboard he plays with all the people around him, because Takemichi had always felt like a huge wall that had to be broken through; the shadow of the hero that had to be overcome, but that had been easy, Takemichi's attitude and fragility under certain conditions made it not even seem like a job, if not for how obsessed Hinata seemed with him; and that is, Kisaki hadn't really "seen" him, he had only been the obstacle that had to be overcome; and if things hadn't taken the turn they did, it would probably still be the same.
So, his plans turn, change and mold, and the fact is that, although Kisaki still wants power, the desire he feels for Takemichi overcomes and drowns him.
One by one, the feathers of his wings fall, and though there is a small dark and skeptical part of Kisaki that wonders if sacrificing his desires is worth it, the first time Hanagaki smiles at him, that darkness is illuminated and ignited with the overwhelming warmth of hope.
And, if Kisaki were honest, it's really absurd the way everything goes out of his control.
The fight with Valhalla is something he had been planning in careful detail long before the revelation of his soul mate. He had planned every last detail, minus the small burlesque twist in which life showed him the middle finger and gave him Hanagaki Takemichi as his soul mate, because that simple detail, makes everything, EVERYTHING change.
And is that, although in principle Kisaki considered himself a rational boy, deep down he hadn't stopped being the five year old boy with the desire to find his soul mate; to find the person who would love him for who he was; who wouldn't tease and laugh at him for being more interested in books than in physical activities; who would see beyond the scrawny boy with bad eyesight and strange personality, who only seemed to be good in the academic area.
However, despite how malleable Kazutora is, and the subservient way Henma sometimes acts, Kisaki forgets that at the end of the day, Henma only seems to follow him for the entertainment that the machinations of his schemes provide. So, although in the end Kisaki rethinks the whole fight thing, the cards have been dealt.
Kazutora's mental imbalance exceeds his expectations, Henma is too deep in the game to back down and Kisaki is the King who has put himself in check again.
But Kisaki knows what's coming, he planned it step by step himself, so it's no real surprise when he jumps and the knife enters with absolute ease into his abdomen.
"Oh..." is what escapes from his lips, while Kazutora in bewilderment recoils, Baji looks at him with absolute strangeness and confusion, Chifuyu screams and Takemichi looks at him as if the world is about to be destroyed. Then Kisaki laughs because he would never have put his life at risk; he had never understood the point when there were other, safer ways to make things happen, because he isn't the hero in shining armor who rescues the princesses from the tower, he had always been closer to the evil witches who plot and scheme until the world falls at their feet either out of fear or reluctant admiration tinged with hatred, and that was why he envied Takemichi, because he would always be the hero everyone loves, and Kisaki seemed doomed to remain under his shadow, but the truth of the matter, is that Kisaki hated his role, detested it and it is absolutely ironic that at the end of the day it was Takemichi who gave him a strong enough reason to turn his role around.
Blood escapes his lips and the right side of his abdomen appears to be numb. Kisaki falls to his knees as the cold begins to slowly and relentlessly fill him.
"Kisaki-kun," Takemichi's voice sounds like a distant echo to him, however, when his crying hero touches his cheek, his nerve endings vibrate and ignite. Kisaki opens his eyes, not sure when he has closed them, and meets the most beautiful blue eyes in the universe. "Why?"
Takemichi asks, his voice is tremulous and tears fill his cheeks like endless rivers. Kisaki laughs and then groans in pain as the knife moves uncomfortably in his gut, because of course life gave him as a soulmate to an idiot.
"For you," Kisaki finally says when the pain subsides enough. Takemichi looks at him in disbelief and then an awkward, tentative smile breaks over his lips. It's not as wide as the ones he's seen him give Hinata or the rest of Toman, but it's enough for Kisaki to decide that even if he dies —which he hopes he doesn't and that someone was considerate enough to call an ambulance—, it would be worth it for that smile.
"You're a jerk," Hanagaki pronounces, and Kisaki knows it, he's a genius after all.
"I know," he mutters, as he can hear the sound of police and ambulance sirens, because apparently he's been lucky enough. "Being a hero doesn't really suit me. Next time, I'll leave it up to you."
Finally his body relaxes and unconsciousness washes over him, and yet he knows with absolute certainty that Takemichi never leaves his side.
When Kisaki awakens, he is in a hospital bed, an IV in his left arm, and the beeping of machines monitoring his vital signs, but all of that goes unnoticed by the hand holding his.
Takemichi's hand is slightly smaller than his and more callused. Its shape molds to his hand with absolute perfection, but it is the knowledge that Takemichi is with him and holding his hand of his own free will that causes the machine that controls his heart rate sound so much louder.
"Kisaki-kun?" Takemichi's voice comes out slightly hoarse, as if he had fallen asleep holding his hand. Kisaki focuses his sight as best he can, eager to see the face of his soulmate. Takemichi snorts slightly amused, as he lets go of her hand, and Kisaki feels so empty without that light touch, that he wonders how he has lived his whole life without it, however, he feels his glasses being gently placed on him, and he can finally see Takemichi's face in all its splendor. "Better?"
Hanagaki asks, the softness in his tone is overwhelming to Kisaki, and yet he wants to cling to him tooth and nail, but he doesn't know how to express it, so he just nods.
Takemichi sits back down, however, his gaze is distant and assessing, the expression is so foreign to his youthful face because it is an expression more conducive on adults with a bunch of bills to pay and shitty jobs that barely pay them enough to meet their expenses; it is an expression Kisaki doesn't wish to see on Takemichi again.
Then his blue eyes focus on him and Kisaki shivers at the intensity of his gaze. He sees him sigh and shake his head slightly to himself.
"Hinata was here a few hours ago," Hanagaki finally pronounces, his shoulders slump as if he's carrying the world on them, and a strange sense of guilt fills Kisaki when he sees his tired face. "I told her, you were my soulmate and she—She broke up with me."
The emotion that the statement arouses in him doesn't give him the happiness that Kisaki had expected to feel when he had imagined the event. Even less so when he looks at the way Takemichi's shoulders slump, not when he can "feel" as if it is his pain that the separation has done to him.
"I..." And what was Kisaki supposed to say? Because while the statement doesn't give him the satisfaction he had imagined, he doesn't regret it either, not when it would mean he would have a slim chance and he's waited for what feels like a lifetime to meet his soulmate and now—
"It's okay," Takemichi interrupts with a shaky smile and a couple of tears already running down his cheeks. "I'm going to be okay and— I have you, right?"
Despite how confident Takemichi wants to sound, the pain and slight doubt he obviously feels covers his tone and makes it choppy and shaky. Then Kisaki's hands instinctively reach up, cradle his face and with a gentleness that surprises even himself, wipes Takemichi's tears away.
"If you wish," Kisaki pronounces as Takemichi's tears continue to fall, yet the sigh of pure relief he lets out when their skins touch is like a gift of hope to Kisaki's heart.
And that is, Takemichi had been at a crossroads when life revealed Kisaki as his soulmate, for in the future, he had never found anything remotely approaching him, and Takemichi had thought he would always be doomed to live alone with a strange emptiness inside, consumed by his frailty and weakness, never being good enough; never managing to transcend any further, with nothing good to offer anyone. But when his past was rewritten, he would never have expected and wished that the person he sometimes dreamed of meeting in the future, was the same person that he had to stop, for to save the people he had come to cherish; even less so when fury and contempt for his future actions filled him and lit him up like a bonfire; however, the more he had thought about the situation; the more he longed for contact with his soulmate despite his sins, the more it made sense that Kisaki was his soulmate, because although both were the contradiction of the other, in the end perhaps it was precisely that which made them perfect complements to each other. And that is, at the end of the day it had been Kisaki's actions that had pushed him to better himself, that had driven him to try to change his destiny and that of others; and maybe that was it wasn't it? They both needed each other to balance the darker, dimmer parts of their personalities.
"It's what I want," he finally said and then, Takemichi surrendered to Kisaki's warm touch, wishing and hoping that his decision was the right one, for Hinata, for Naoto, for Draken, Mikey and for all the kids that made up Toman, but especially for himself, and for how irreparably broken his heart and sanity would end if his choice ruined the future again.
However, Kisaki smiles at him, and the world and the universe seem to realign, and then—
Takemichi is the sun, for whom Kisaki discovers, it is worth losing his wings.
When Takemichi wakes up in the future, he wakes up in an apartment in central Tokyo, the sun shining in through the huge window overlooking the room, and yet the bed that dominates the center of his room is so incredibly comfortable that the mere prospect of getting up makes him groan with discontent.
"Come on Micchi-kun," Kisaki's deeper but absolutely recognizable voice, make him sit up. His blue eyes widen with surprise as he looks at the boy, now grown to adulthood, with only a towel tied around his waist and his chest exposed, where the sign of bites and scratches, which speak of a passionate night, greet him.
"Oh my God! I've finally stopped being a virgin!" That's the first thing that escapes Takemichi's lips, and as far as "reunions" go, Tetta Kisaki has had better, however, finally after twelve years, the person who turned the tables of the game and his destiny, is finally in front of him.
"So you're finally here," Kisaki pronounces, as he approaches the bed, Hanagaki's face turns completely red at his nearness, and it's been a while since Takemichi was this shy in front of their relationship, and although Kisaki loves their interactions, seeing Takemichi's shy side always makes his heart race. "Welcome home, my hero."
He finally pronounces and closes the gap, kissing him the way he hadn't dared to do twelve years ago.