The lights are flashing, the music is booming and the drinks are flowing...

I don't even have to turn to know she's here...

.

.

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"What are you doing here? You need to go home and make things right with your kids, they miss and need you"

"I'm trying San but it's not easy, I'm the DA it's not like I can just take days off, I'm doing the best I can but it's never enough for the kids...or biff"

And there it is...

she sighs sitting back on her stool

"Here's another drink Lopez, it's on the house" Jack says winking at me yet again.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom and check my voicemails" she says putting her hand on my thigh as she steps off her stool.

I watch her go sighing as I shake my head.

.

.

"So..." I hear next to me "Jack seems to be under the impression he's taking you home tonight is that why he's giving you free drinks?"

I roll my eyes and laugh

"Yeah that's not gonna happen...ever"

"Why?" She asks

"Well, first of all because I own the damn place, secondly yours truly bats for the other team which I don't think he gets yet even though I thought I was pretty obvious"

we both laugh and she nods in understanding.

.

.

"So How long have you been in love with your blonde friend?" She asks taking a sip of her drink

"What? Who Lucy? No, no I'm not in love with her she's my best friend, we've been best friends since middle school" I nod taking a drink

"Trust me" she says putting her hand on my arm "I know when someone's in love with their best friend but too afraid to say something"

I immediately look at Jack putting the pieces together, I knew I've seen this girl in here before and she's always hanging out at the bar with Jack, I should have known. I nod my head looking around

"I've been in love with her since freshman year of high school, she doesn't feel the same anymore, sadly she's married but her 2 kids are awesome and they definitely need her more"

I sigh twirling the drink around overlooking the party goers just below us.

"So, then I was her maid of honor and now? I'm the best friend she vents too, drinks with, I'm her shoulder" I smile weakly

"And you're okay with that?" She says

"I have to be, like I said she has her priorities"

.

.

"San,I'm gonna take off, I have to be in the office early and late tomorrow " She says reaching for her purse behind the bar

"Here let me walk you out, I'll see you later?" I say to my new bar friend

"Oh, I'll be here!" She winks

.

"Santana Marie, are you done?" Quinn says with her hand on her hip.

Hold up, did she really just middle name me? Oh I haven't seen jealous Lucy in a minute and it makes me chuckle.

"Umm yeah sorry Luce"

I smile grabbing my jacket. We head towards the lobby and she shivers

"It's cold tonight huh?"

I take my jacket placing it over her shoulders as she turns to face me

"You never bring a jacket Q, we've lived in New York for years now and you never learn"

I laugh as she playfully hits my chest. My hands hang on to each side of the jacket and her hands grab each of my elbows holding me in place.

.

Then it happens, those fucking hazel eyes, god I miss those eyes and how she would...

Our eyes meet, only she can stare at me and break down every wall without trying.

.

Her breath hitches as she slowly start leaning in, on instinct I close my eyes and...

.

"Um Mrs Macintosh"

Of fucking course, thanks George, by the way you're fired

"Yes George" she exhales looking over her shoulder while taking a step back.

"Your car is ready ma'am"

"Thank you I'll be right there" she smiles and he walks away

"Be safe Luce" I say, immediately kissing her forehead and turning to head back into the club.

.

She just watches me leave but doesn't say anything as she turns back to head to her car.

.

.

"So?"

"So what?"

"I'm Hannah by the way" she says extending her hand "Now that I know you're not a threat I don't have to kill you" she laughs which makes me laugh because really...As if she could.

.

"Santana, nice to officially meet you" I nod shaking her hand

"So Santana what happened?"

"Nothing happened Hannah, I walked her to her car"

"That's some shit and we both know it" she says hitting my shoulder "I totally followed you guys, I saw the almost kiss, can't lie it was kinda hot"

I laugh at that and nod

"It's happened like that a few times, we sort of dated a while in college but then Biff happened and the rest is as they say History"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

—Flashback—-

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"We can't do this anymore San"

"What? Chinese? Jesus Luce, I said I was down for whatever, I'm just starving!"

.

I say as I continue to look at take out menus we've acquired since our move to New York.

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"That's not what I mean Santana"

.

She begins and I immediately look up at her, she doesn't call me Santana unless she's mad at me or we're in the bedroom.

.

"What's wrong Q? You're scaring me. Are you mad at me or something?" I walk over to the living room where she's sitting looking at her hands.

.

"No san, it's both of us, we're drifting apart. I'm up for Assistant DA at the firm but they want someone who's going to dedicate practically their life, I'm going to be working 20 hour days at least, then there's court..."

.

I'm completely lost, we've been dating for 4 years, she graduated Yale in three years and has been moving up quickly in her law firm. I just graduated with my degree in literature and poli science from Columbia, in the process of writing and finishing my first book.

.

"So what do you want Q? I don't understand we said we weren't in a hurry?" I explain, she sighs taking my hand

.

"You know I love you Santana"

she begins and I already know what's coming

.

"I love you too Lucy Q" and she interrupts

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"This is so hard for me San, I'm under a lot of pressure from the firm and my family, you work full time and write the rest of the time, we just don't have time for each other right now...I just don't know if or when we're going to have that and I..." She looks down and my heart begins to crack

.

"I think we should take some time apart, you have a book to finish and I..."

.

I immediately stand up "Don't you dare put this on me Quinn, I just finished school, working and writing my book are going just fine, just come out and say that you don't want to be with me anymore, that I don't fit into your plan anymore"

.

she stands up walking over to me putting her hands on my chest, forehead against mine.

.

"I love you, so so much, I just think I need some time" She says kissing my cheek, my eyes close and I feel the tears streaming.

.

"I told you in the beginning Q, I'm here for anything and everything you need, I always have been, if this is what you need then."

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I kiss both of her hands, touch her cheek, kiss her forehead, then walk to grab my keys out of the bowl, give her one last look then leave.

.

It's been her dream since we were kids to be the DA of New York and my dream was to help her so I went along with it. I'll give her the space she needs and hopefully she'll remember where she belongs.

.

.

I walked around the city for a few hours, lost in my own thoughts, never in a million years did I think we would break up, sure we have arguments who doesn't, but in my eyes we were perfect, I end up standing outside some club with the music blaring, I turn to look at it and it's named Lucy's. I scoff because of course it is.

.

.

I return to the loft only to find some of her things gone and a note on the fridge that says

.

I'm so sorry. I love you

.

—-End Flashback—

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.

.

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"Where did you go just now?" Hanna asks snapping me out of me reverie

"Somewhere I shouldn't have, sorry Hannah, I think I'm gonna take off okay?"

.

She nods smiling, I finish my water and make my way out to the lobby. I wait for my car to be valet then head home. It's about a 30 minute drive.

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I enter the loft, putting my keys in the bowl, heading upstairs to my room when my phone buzzes

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Lucy - Did you make it home okay?

Me- Walking in the door now Luce

Lucy - Good. I'll talk to you later, sweet dreams

Me- Sweet dreams, Q.

Lucy - Love you San, always

.

I smile, shower and head to bed

.

.

-Quinn's POV-

.

"We're you with Santana again Quinn?"

I exhale throwing my head back

"I worked late and stopped by for a drink"

I respond grabbing a water from the fridge

.

"I've made it perfectly clear how I feel about that and you continue to do it, when will you grow up Quinn, you chose me and this life you can't always go running to her when it gets hard" I roll my eyes

.

"I'm here now aren't I Biff?"

"Where are the girls?"

.

"They're getting ready for bed maybe you should head up and say good night, they've missed you" I nod making my way upstairs.

.

We have 2 beautiful little girls, Marie and Beth.

Marie is 4 and Beth is 2, I got pregnant with Marie a year after Santana and I broke up, she wasn't planned but I absolutely love her, in many ways she reminds me of Santana, hence her name, she's such a ball of fire, outgoing and definitely opinionated she's going to give us a run for our money when she's older. She has dark hair and my eyes. Beth is a lot like me, she had blonde hair and again my eyes, she's artistic, loving but very logical, I have no doubt she's going to achieve greatness when she's older.

.

.

"Hey girls" I say entering their room as they play with their barbies

"Mommy!" They both rush to me "We've missed you so much" Marie says as Beth hugs my legs

"I know babies I'm so sorry, work has been busy I promise we will have a day together soon okay?" I say to them "In fact, How about next week? Maybe we can go to the zoo?"

.

They both nod in agreement. I take some time to hear about their days, read them a bedtime story then proceed to tuck them in.

.

"I love you both so much" I give them kisses and turn out the light.

.

I make my way to our bedroom where biff is brushing his teeth.

I go about my nightly routine then hop in the shower and while I'm in there my mind starts to wonder as it seems to do more and more lately

.

.

-Mini Flashback-

.

"You scared me babe!" I squeal as she wraps her arms around me laughing

"Who were you expecting Lucy Q?" I turn so I'm facing her, she immediately wraps one arm around my waist and the other against the shower wall.

"I could do this forever you know" I say to her

"What shower?" She says and I hit her chest causing her to laugh

"So let's do it forever because I totally plan on spending my forever with you" she responds kissing me

"Good, now that, that's over with you can wash my hair for me" she rolls her eyes as I turn around handing her the shampoo

"Always gotta kill the moment don't you Fabray"

.

-End flashback-

.

.

.

I exit the shower and notice biff is already asleep, it's probably for the best I really don't feel like talking tonight. I exhale as I lay down alone with my thoughts, I think back to what my life with Santana would have been had I stayed.

.

She's so successful and happy, she has written 3 books now working on her 4th and successfully owns a nightclub, she bought it about 3 years ago because she was bored or so she said but I think she was lonely. She's had a few flings here and there but nothing ever concrete.

.

I know, she's always been impulsive that's one of the many things I love about her.

Loved? No, it's definitely something I still love about her.

I can't really complain about my life, it's stressful yes but I am now the DA in New York, my girls are in one of the best private schools in the state, Biff now runs his father's company but I can't help but feel like something is missing. Maybe it's not something but someone...

.

If I sit back and think about it, I've always known the answer. Santana and I haven't dated in almost 5 years, I'm sure she's not just waiting around for me, that would be crazy right? So we've decided to go back to what we know, being best friends.

.

I love how close we've been able to stay over the years, though at times we can't help the pull we still have, that's one of the reasons Biff doesn't want me seeing her and her many flings don't ever like me but she's the only one in my life who never judges me. She is my ride or die, if I needed her help hiding a body she'd show up with a shovel ready to work no questions asked. She has always been there for me and I've always been there for her.

.

.

I heard through the grapevine she is beginning to date again, I don't know how I'll handle that but I guess we will see. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep...

.

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