Stranded in Anaheim
LEGAL STUFF: While the original "Snow White" stories are in the public domain, this is based on the Walt Disney rendition and thus I don't claim ownership of the characters and settings used.
I remember what a portly priest told me when I was at the church near my castle. That we were both blessed and cursed. I guess he was right at least in some ways. Maybe my innate beauty was a blessing. Same goes with my sense of altruism and generosity towards others. But at the same time, they also became the bane of my existence, as my radiant appearance has been the subject of bitter and nearly fatal envy by none other than my wicked stepmother who, for reasons I could not fathom, have doggedly attempted to commit regicide for her own twisted ends. And my friendly disposition also proved to be equally cursed as what I have learned the hard way. Waking up and feeling disorientated, it must have been early afternoon, and in the middle of a hard patch of ground. I did not honestly notice anything out of the ordinary as my vision was quite blurry, as if I've had one too many a Lager Bier at a Lokal. I never really was that of a drinker, though the malt-based drink has always been part of our culture back home in Bavaria.
Having my vision all cleared up, I've noticed something incredibly strange and surreal: the Enchanted Forest looked vastly different from what I remember, there seemed to be an abundance in stone and metal buildings whose style is far cry from what I have accustomed, no woodland or magical creatures, and whichever castles I encountered looked far from what I know either, though they do still bear a passing resemblance to the ones back home. I turned my head and saw that I was lying on a fairground, albeit far more developed and a permanent institution than the travelling ones set up during feasts or something along the lines of it. Maybe this was the result of the apple I got from an old lady, thinking it was a wishing apple of some kind. I did wish for my prince to come, but the end result was definitely not within my expectations. Here and there park-goers stroll about the place, donning fashions that weren't in style in my time to say the least. I never expected women and girls to wear shorter skirts or pantaloons for that matter, and things are a wee bit more informal this time around. I really don't know if it's a good thing or otherwise, but the absurdity of the situation felt too much for myself to comprehend.
What I do recall before fainting was that I had a sharp burst of pain in my head after taking a bite from the apple, and then I got knocked out cold and everything went white. Then it felt chilly, and all I know was that I wound up in this place once I regained consciousness. Once I regained my bearings, I then decided to take matters into my own hands and get to grips with a situation so out of the ordinary that it makes all the magical things I've witnessed back home seem pale in comparison. Having been a scullery maid since I was thirteen, I learned how to observe and scope things out, eavesdrop into castle gossip and more or less act accordingly whenever the situation needs it. Somehow my naivete tends to get the better of me sometimes, but I was far from the meek, passive character people make out of myself even back home. But with nary a clue as to where I am besides the place being vaguely a fairground of some kind, I decided to sit up and rest in a nearby wooden bench. Fortunately, I was devoid of any injuries, apart from a few bruises I had from the scary forest encounter, though they have more or less subsided after my stay at the dwarfs' cottage days later. Glancing down I noticed that I was still wearing this blue, yellow and red ball gown I had for the past few weeks or months. Grimhilde had me wear it ostensibly for a public trip, only for Humbert, the huntsman who escorted me along the way, to nearly assassinate me and brutally rip my heart out. What I know was that Humbert was no stranger to carrying out hits on political opponents on the Queen's orders, but even he has his standards, and murdering a fair maiden was too much for him to stomach. I never heard from him again, but rumours had it that he plotted to overthrow Grimhilde not long after.
As I was brushing specks of dirt and mud off my skirt, I've noticed a young woman looking bemused at me. She was one of those park-goers I spoke of, wearing a pale blue shirt and short pantaloons with a small child accompanying her. Both look rather concerned about how dishevelled I was, and judging from the horde of costumed players acting out roles from characters created (or were they rather appropriated or co-opted instead, perhaps?) by a man they called Walter Elias Disney, they understandably mistook me for one of those costumed folks. As much as I tried to hold them back, the woman and her daughter did notice me weeping, perhaps just as much as I did back at the forest when I witnessed all the horrors of the woodlands.
"Is there anything wrong, Snow? You don't look so good,"
"No, I-I'm fine. But I seem to be a little lost and confused. What is this strange place?" I stammered.
"Are you sure you're OK, miss? I ought to call the park management," the woman replied, thinking I was one of those costumed players. "You look like you slipped and fell into that wishing well or something,"
The lady also did notice my hair being all gussied up and the ribbon in my hair hastily untied. Whatever it is that I wound up into whilst being transported into this strange place, I doubt it to have been fine and dandy. I then noticed the lady calling up one of those people keeping the wheels of this fairground turning. They mostly wear clothes similar to the park-goers, except they're uniforms specific to this place. One of them came up and took notice at what amounts to a bizarre situation at their park, one that they've inarguably never anticipated ever since this place first opened more than sixty years ago. The staff member did note that yes, I was wearing a dress similar to those players dressed up as yours truly, but felt something was odd as while my face was "spot-on", he never knew of anyone such as myself who has worked here, and was puzzled as to how I managed to smuggle myself into the place; I've only learned the hard way that people in certain costumes are barred from entering to prevent any sort of confusion or worse, untoward incidents stemming from the impersonation of a cast member.
"I'm awfully sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you," I apologised.
"You do look spot-on, Miss," The staff member greeted, still bemused from the confusion that ensued. "But you don't look like one of our cast members and you're not allowed to wear that costume as it might confuse people especially the kids,"
"Oh!" I cried, "I'm so ashamed of the fuss I've made,"
Scheiß, I muttered to myself. I normally don't cuss except in extreme circumstances, but as I said, the absurdity of the situation was far too big for myself to comprehend. Everyone knows who I am but those around me at this moment were either confused or just dismiss me as someone who took her acting role too seriously.
"I ought to call security," mused the staff member. "Bravo, there's been a breach at the park, a cast member impersonator or something,"
Great, now I'm in even bigger trouble, for something I never even wanted or anticipated to happen. Pray, tell, why must I always be an unfortunate victim of circumstance? First there were the deaths of my parents, then Grimhilde enslaving me which I somehow took in stride more or less, and then the attempted assassinations, and now this?
"Shall I turn her in for questioning?" chattered the staff member.
A faint voice emanated from the box he is holding, acknowledging the situation at hand and gave the staffer the go-ahead to turn me in. Lord knows whatever fate awaits me at whichever dungeon they would take me to, or perhaps if I even deserve to be punished, let alone executed, for what amounts to trespassing. In fairness, the people here do look pleasant and good-natured, or at least ostensibly for the most part, but one can never be sure. Fortunately, I wasn't chained, shackled or handcuffed, though the uncertainty did give me an uneasy, dreadful feeling nonetheless.
Oh Florian, if only you were here to whisk me out of this fate, I cried to myself, but stiff upper lip prevailed and my sense of firmness went to work; despite my innate meekness I tend to be quite stern and assertive at times, like when I coaxed my dwarf friends to wash their soot-covered hands and faces first prior to having their dinner. Maybe I got those motherly instincts from my late mother, bless her soul, or maybe it's just a thing with us females to be able to do housework and tend to the needs of others.
We then arrived at what I initially assumed to be the park's dungeon, where my fate seemingly awaits. Judging from my observations, I could definitely rule out execution or any other form of extreme punishment, and I was certain that I'd be ridiculed and dismissed if I talk about my false assumptions as to what would they do to me. Expulsion from the place was something I hear, and I overheard the staff members disagreeing on what to do with me, whether to call my (now-deceased) parents, or something along those lines. I did however chance upon someone assuming a character based on myself, down to the trademark blue, yellow and red gown. She did have long hair, however, and had a short curly wig with a red hair ribbon already applied to it, albeit taking it off as she was at the "dungeon", which was in reality a staff room, taking a break as she was about to end her shift early. Sensing something wrong, the "Snow White" impostor took pity at my plight and tried to reason with security.
"I'm afraid you'll have to excuse my cousin, sir. She's rather flighty and has a knack for mischief such as this," the lady bluffed.
"Well, whoever she is, she certainly caused a lot of disruption around the park,"
I know she did lie her way through, yet I can sense that the staff members weren't buying it, not to mention that the young lady would've been liable for any indiscretion herself due to my accidental run-in, and I felt sorry for her as a result. It just so happened that I was able to weasel myself and the lady out of this mess...
"Before you exile me out of this place, may I show you something?" I asked meekly. "I very much doubt that you would believe me to be the real Snow White, but would this convince you?"
It turns out that I had a small satchel with me, containing a couple or so silver coins, some pixie dust though I am not sure as to where it came from, and a diamond from the mine. While one of the staff dismissed my small treasure trove as a well-fabricated forgery or a prop for a play, there was a warm aura around it regardless, and the folks at the staff room were utterly convinced that I am the genuine article as opposed to the rank-and-file theatrical player.
"I'd be damned," the impostor cried.
"Alright, Your Highness, you're free to go," announced the head of security, "But considering the bizarre series of events we ought to bring this to the attention of Disney executives. This could be a gold mine if you ask me!"
As greedy as it may sound, I guess I knew people would see the potential in such a spectacle. The impostor sensed that as well, but as to whether we'd buy into this deal and be crassly exploited or not is something we're yet to determine. I have nothing against Herr Walter or anyone else for that matter, but there's this lingering fear of me being reduced to a circus side-show. Moments later, the impostor sat beside me, still in full costume. She was glad I was somehow able to reason ourselves out of whatever sanctions we might have faced, and judging from her body language, was more than giddy and grateful to have met a real-life princess such as myself.
"Now I literally am friends with Snow White!"
"And I'm glad to be friends with you too," I cried, "I guess there's no need to introduce myself then, since you all know of me anyway,"
"The name's Thornberry," the woman responded, "Gemma Thornberry,"
"Good day to you, Gemma," I curtsied, as awkward as it may seem to do so with this dishevelled gown I was wearing.
"My granny, bless her soul, would be more than happy to see you if only she was still alive," Gemma complimented, "She was lucky enough to have seen your movie back when it first came out,"
"That I'd be honoured," I replied, "May I ask, what's a movie?"
"A movie is, uh..." Gemma stammered, "Ahh, never mind, it's a little complicated, but I can explain later,"
"Alright,"
"You seem rather lost though, Your Highness," Gemma said out of concern.
"Bitte, there's no need to be formal," I pleaded, "You can call me Snow White. Or better yet, call me by my real name, Margaretha von Waldeck,"
"Shall I call you Maggie instead?" Gemma playfully asked. "Funny enough, you and Granny do share the same first name,"
"Maggie sounds 'swell, I like it," I agreed, "Besides, to be honest I find the 'Snow White' nickname I got as a child rather embarrassing anyway. Not that I loathe it but, well, you know,"
"Well, that's a first," Gemma replied, "Say, would you mind staying at my place? I live on my own and you seem to be alone with no one to turn to," The more vigilant person within me would've turned down the offer, but as I am in this strange world with next to no one to ask for shelter, let alone currency besides gold coins, I had no other choice but to stay at Gemma's place. Besides, the prospect of knowing a like-minded fellow isn't that bad anyway.
"If I have no other choice, I guess a stay at your place wouldn't be so bad," I agreed.
"Your eyes do look as if you're always surprised though, Maggie," Gemma wondered, "Are you sure your vision isn't impaired? Like, can you see me clearly?"
"More or less," I assured, "Though my eyes did start to act funny fairly recently hence why I wasn't able to focus as well as I used to,"
"That's alright," Gemma said, "I can get you a new pair of glasses if you don't mind,"
"Danke schoen!" I cried, "Golly gee, you sure are quite a friend,"
"That's what friends are for, right?" Gemma smiled, doing something which people these days call a fist bump. I clenched my fist and bumped her fist as a friendly gesture. "Now then, we got to head off to my place. We can ride my car,"
"You mean your carriage?" I wondered. Transportation has been a far cry compared to what we had back in my place, where beasts of burden such as horses, oxen and even elephants from the East were part and parcel. Gemma's carriage runs on its own power, fed by something they called petroleum. Though she did further explain that it is what they call as a hybrid where fossil fuel is used alongside electricity. I've heard of electricity from my governess before, but at most it was produced by lightning or some similar phenomena such as those conjured by sorcerers, and people back in my place were yet to harness it for their beneficial needs.
"Yup, my horseless carriage," Gemma smiled, "It's a Toyota. Not exactly new but it takes me places,"
"Alright,"
"Come inside, we can talk along the way," Gemma waved. I got on board and immediately felt a cool breeze inside. Along the way I felt relieved that this whole episode ended up in a positive note. Of course, I still do miss my prince and all, but if there's any consolation, it's the fact that I've met a friend who does admire my stories and appreciates me for who I am, despite the odd circumstances of how I ended up here.
A/N: The glasses part was in reference to a deleted scene in "Ralph Breaks the Internet" where Snow White reveals that she (or at least her netizen self) is legally blind and as such had to wear glasses.