Once upon a time there were three complete idiots who decided it would be funny if they butchered the personalities of the Apex Legends' cast to make them nothing like their in-universe counterparts. And this monstrosity is the result of that. Here's a brief rundown of how we have changed up the Apex Cast.

(Bloodhound = Extremely Opportunistic and an Atheist, their favorite pastime is slashing people's tires)

(Gibraltar = Lazy As Shit)

(Lifeline = Asshole)

(Pathfinder = Windows XP Incarnate)

(Wraith = Either Extremely Happy or Extremely Aggressive no in-between)

(Bangalore = Vegan and she can only say the words "I'm Vegan")

(Caustic = Peace-loving Hippy)

(Mirage = Unhealthily Self-Deprecating)

(Octane = Timid and Hesitant about everything)

(Wattson = Pessimistic)

(Crypto = Very outgoing and can't keep information too himself to save his life)

(Revenant = Seductive and Russian need I say more)

(Loba = Goody 2-shoes)

(Rampart = "Intellectual Gamer Girl" aka a Redditor)

(Horizon = Demowoman TF2 who hates her son)

(Fuse = Deathly afraid of explosions)

(Valkyrie = r/Im14andthisisdeep)

(Blisk = woman [When I first heard his name, I thought he was a woman so he's genderbent in this])

Also my Friend Trevor is going to feature in this because he wanted to be included for some reason. He also asked me to sell him out, so go check out his YouTube Channel EyeStreamVids. Now without further ado, let us begin this complete Brain Aneurysm of a Fanfic. Also this fic was technically Beta read by my 2 friends but since we have a collective IQ of 3 were still dying like men!

Prologue: Wraith Gets The Victory Royale Or Does She!?

Wraith sat in her room in the early hours of the morning, eyes glued to her computer monitor and her desk littered with discarded Dorito bags and Mountain Dew cans. She had been at her computer for over 5 days, her entire existence dedicated to one thing, getting a Victory Royale in Fortnite. She had been in a total of 7568678679 matches and had never once gotten a Victory Royale. But she wasn't going to give up, 7568678680 was going to be the charm. Right? She grinned as she realized there was only one other person left. She was finally going to do it! She was finally going to get the Victory Royale! But then, just as her dreams were about to become reality, She received a DM on Discord.

"Wraith! Want to help me collect some thiccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc anime ass?"

It was from Revenant. He sent these kinds of messages to his "friends" every time he went to the local Denny's to try and seduce some poor unsuspecting person. But this moment was the worst possible time he could have sent it. As soon as the ping popped up, she lost her focus and was soon gunned down by her opponent. She had gotten 2nd Place in the match; her Victory Royale had been robbed from her!

In a fit of rage she threw her computer out the window and summoned a void tempest that completely destroyed her room. She had worked so long for this, dedicated hours to improving her skills by watching Ninja livestreams and she had her one chance at success pulled out from under her. This was not going to slide; she wasn't going to let Revenant and the other "Apex Legends" get away with this. They all would pay!

Chapter 1: Meet The Misfits

It was a normal day at the Apex Plaza. Blisk entered the recreation room to see all of the assholes she had hired going about their normal days. She walked past Caustic who was sitting outside being a "Peaceful Protestor" against the games even though he participated in them like everyone else. Rampart, Crypto, and Valkyrie were hanging out in the internet center, no doubt up to their usual shenanigans. Bloodhound was sitting in the corner, surveying the room to figure who's tires to slash before they had to get ready for the games. Octane and Fuse were both in the bathroom taking their anxiety pills. Finally she made it to the lounge near the announcement room where Gibraltar, Lifeline, Mirage, Wattson, Loba and some random asshole named Trevor were all hanging out and chatting.

"So, you all ready to die for my amusement again." Blisk said to them smugly.

"Well we would be if everyone was actually here." Lifeline replied.

It wasn't unusual for some people to be late; Revenant, Pathfinder, Horizon, and Gibraltar came to mind. But this morning both Wraith and Bangalore were late as well. Bangalore usually liked to get up bright and early to polish her guns and eat her morning salad. Meanwhile, Wraith was usually one of the first people here, she always came in with that stupid grin on her face and started talking to everyone about "how great everything was," and wished everyone the best in that annoying voice of hers. It was extremely rare for either one of them to be late. Hell even Gibraltar was here before either of them.

"Have any of you guys seen where Wraith or Bangalore are?" Blisk inquired.

"If we knew, would we be sitting on our asses right now?" Lifeline retorted.

"Maybe she's just sleeping in or something, I don't care." Gibraltar stated before yawning and laying back down on the couch.

"Fucking hell! I don't wanna have to delay the games just because a couple of you dickwads won't get here on time!" Blisk shouted.

"Look calm your tits, it's still 10:00 in the morning, they'll probably still get here before Revenant, Pathfinder, and Horizon anyways." Wattson commented.

"Could you guys stop swearing so much?" Loba asked, glaring at them all.

"Shut the fuck up Loba!" Everyone shouted at her.

Loba then sat back in her chair and crossed her arms as the rest of the group continued the conversation.

"Also who the fuck is this guy?" Blisk said pointing to the kid next to Wattson.

"Oh this is Trevor, he said he was similar to Wattson in personality, so we decided to let him in for some reason." Mirage clarified.

"Sup." Trevor said.

"So, basically you lot recruited this kid as a child soldier?" Blisk asked.

Everyone stared at her with a worried expression on their faces.

"Excellent work you guys, you're hired uhh… Tyler! Just go get your equipment ready and head into the dropship when I tell you too."

It was then that that three people walked into the lounge area. The group was led by a woman who looked heavily intoxicated followed by a simulacrum covered in red wrappings with a skull face and a slow walking MRVN. It was Horizon, Revenant, and Pathfinder. The simulacrum confidently placed his hand on the doorframe as the other two slowly walked into the room.

"Hey bitches what's up?!" Revenant asked.

"Ah eh is a ware, Hey, that's my son!" Horizon stated in her drunken stupor pointing at Trevor.

"Fuck you yah little shet!"

"Well, if it isn't rummy, the whore, and the dinosaur; let me guess, you guys were off harassing people again, weren't you?" Blisk chastised them.

"We would have been if I wasn't waiting for Wraith to answer my messages. She completely killed the vibe of my morning?" Revenant replied.

"Wait, Wraith never answered your messages?" Lifeline asked Revenant.

"Nah, I DMed her around 83 different times and she didn't respond once!"

"Why do you ask?"

"Where the fuck is she!?" Blisk screamed.

"May-be it has some-thing to do with the thing on the news." Pathfinder said in his janky robotic voice.

"What thing on the news?"

Pathfinder then proceeded to slowly walk over to the sports bar and turned on the television. The effort of which caused a Windows Error message to pop up on his screen. The rest of the group ignored Pathfinder's stuttering and proceeded to watch the special news report that was currently being broadcasted.

"… The explosion appears to have damaged several apartments within the Apex Legends housing bloc. As of now authorities are unsure as to who could have caused the explosion, however due to recent reports of terrorist activity on neighboring planets, they are encouraging people to stay indoors and report any suspicious activity to their local authorities. This has been Generic Newscaster #42 with an ABN Special Report, now back to your regularly scheduled programing."

A tense silence fell upon the room as shocked expressions began to creep across everyone's faces. It felt like an eternity before Lifeline finally broke the silence.

"Holy Shit!"

"Well, it was only a matter of time before someone came and blew up one of our apartments." Wattson added.

"Man, that guy must have hated that building more than I hate myself."

"What!?" Mirage asked as everyone looked at him and grimaced at his dark joke.

"Oh for Christ's sake, first I gotta deal with you assholes being late, now I gotta worry about a bunch of terrorists running around and blowing shit up!" Blisk said as she pulled up a communicator to make an announcement.

"Attention all IMC employees, due to an imminent Terrorist threat we have opted to cancel the Apex Games for the safety of our staff and competitors. For their safety, all Competitors must report to the Lounge Area immediately while all other Staff and Personnel are required to vacate the building immediately. The Building will be sealed in approximately 5 minutes!"

Blisk threw her communicator to the floor and began to storm off towards her office.

"Fucking Frontier Militia and their Shitty IED's!"

"You know, the Frontier Militia disbanded roughly 200 years ago, I highly doubt this is them."

Blisk then turned to see two women standing at the door to the lounge area. One of them wore a mechanic's outfit with a fedora covering her dark brown hair. The other one was staring at the ground. The only parts of her showing being her silvery grey hair and her mech suit that she wore with her everyone.

"Ah fuck, it's the Geek Squad, and for your information Rampart, I know full well about the Frontier Wars. Just because a group hasn't disbanded doesn't mean there won't be remnants that try to screw with you."

"Maybe the real terrorists are ourselves. Constantly fighting and demolishing our own psyches for no reason at all."

"Valkyrie, shut the actual fuck up!"

Suddenly, an explosion rocked the building causing the lights to flicker and the fire alarms to go off.

"What the fuck!?" Gibraltar said now roused from his nap.

"Shit, where is everyone else!" Blisk shouted, panic beginning to creep into her voice.

Two more figures would come to the door. One was wearing a hunter's outfit with a gasmask; she held a knife in her hand with what looked like rubber scraps on it. The other wore a Brown cloak with body armor, combat boots and was covered head to toe with padding.

"I found her outside the complex banging on the doors while I was "checking" on Octane's tires." Bloodhound said.

Blisk then turned her gaze to Bangalore. She was bent over, breathing heavily as a look of panic was plastered across her face. Blisk wondered what had taken her so long and why she looked like this.

"Bangalore? Everything alright?"

"I'm Vegan!" Bangalore replied.

Blisk mentally slapped herself realizing that she didn't know how to translate Bangalore's Vegan Speak.

"Fuck, does anyone know what the hell she's saying?"

"I don't know what the fuck she's talking about, the only one who could ever translate her was Wraith!" Lifeline answered her.

"I'm Vegan!" Bangalore shouted, clearly more panicked than before.

"God Damnit, someone get her a pen and paper!"

"Wait, before you do that, we have a situation!"

Blisk looked to the door to see yet another of the Apex team at the door. The man wore a black shirt and pants covered by a vest and various wrapping and topped off with a white coat with neon trim. It was the self-proclaimed computer genius himself, Crypto.

"Oh Jesus, did you get another one of our computers IP banned on Hypixel!"

"No no no, something is going down in the lobby, last I saw Octane, Fuse, and Caustic were shitting bricks."

"Oh shit that sounds serious, everyone get down to the lobby and get ready to fight if necessary!"

The gang then proceeded to jog down to lobby. Nearby one of the stairways to the entryway the group found the cowardly trio trembling in fear.

"Guys, what the fuck is going on here!"

"We were just making our way to the lounge area like you told us too, and then we heard explosions, so we hid." Octane said on the verge of tears.

"They were so loud. They were so loud!" Fuse said borderline shell shocked.

"See, this is what happens when we no one can get along, we all blow things up for no reason!" Casutic said in his usual overly dramatic tone.

"Everyone get down!"

Blisk then motioned for everyone to take cover as she raised her head above cover to see what had blown up the front of her building. A look of shock then crept across her face as she saw a girl dressed in all black with Jet Black hair and pupilless eyes standing in the middle of the lobby. A look of anger and hatred etched across her face and a snarl on her lips. Blisk knew exactly what was going on, it was Wraith, and she was pissed. If there is one thing you should know about Wraith, it's that you don't want to piss her off.

"Oh Fuck!"