The Throne of Heroes

a realm, out of time and space, outside the world

there he resided in his reality marble

a wasteland extending to no end, countless blades anchored in the ground like graves, littered in the barren desert with monolithic black gears gyrating in the distance above.

it's a world likened to a steel mill, filled with weapons, flames, and giant gears

he sat alone on a Hill of Swords, hands rested on the ground behind him supporting his back

looking up to the sky, he saw the giant gears gyrating above, the sky was cloudy, only rays of light visible, sometimes when the clouds moved, he can see a glimpse of clear blue sky and the pure light coming from above even though there was no sun. which remind him even when you can't see things it doesn't mean they don't exist

Heroic Spirit EMIYA

in his reality marble within the Throne of Heroes waiting for his next call.

doing what he always did as he waited there, contemplating the sky remembering his missions, his life, his past, his actions, his mistakes, his failures, and...his regrets.

his face was emotionless "It has been a really long time".

'It started with a year, then two, then ten, then hundred. What was after hundred? I lost count

After what seems like an eternity of service as a counter-guardian, my remembrance became faint despite me clinging to my memories, my feelings and emotions, not lost, but most of them are just like historical records as words in a book whose value has been missing.

still, I hold on to what little remains of sweet and bitter feelings in it, admiring them.

but there are few memories, vivid burning in my mind my existence and soul, they define not my entire being but the very basis

My first memory was Hell, I was in a cursed fire, the smoke suffocating, the smell of burnt corpses filled the air, death invaded the scene. it was truly hell. I felt nothing 'it hurts' but I had no expectations of surviving, even as a little child I understood the hell I was in

everything I was or had before was lost and burnt in the fire, I accepted it

my soul perished and my body was soon to follow, I accepted it.

I was hollow, an empty shell, I accepted it

there was no hope and I accepted it

But a man pulled me out of the ruin and he smiled, a bright smile on his face. the man was genuinely happy just because he saved one person. I admired him... and I envied him. I wondered if saving one person would make you feel so happy, how happy you would be to save everyone.

The second was the day I inherited my adoptive father's ideal the man who saved me, I promised to take over his dream to be a 'Hero of Justice' i wanted to do it I had to do it, for him and for myself

It was a beautiful and admirable dream, on that day I became full for the first time, I filled my empty self with that ideal.

The third one was when I first met her, I was struggling to escape unavoidable death, at the last moment I witnessed a miracle a knightly girl with golden hair wore a silver armor fitted in blue dress appeared out of nowhere and saved my life.

The fourth was my first failure. I went to seek help from the little white-haired girl, but I ended up witnessing her tragic death. I wanted to save her, I really wanted to, but I couldn't, I didn't, I was helplessly powerless. All I did was crying like a pathetic child. I watched her heart ripped out of her body.

The fifth was when my ideals clashed against my future alternative self.

I was faced with how hypocritical I was, how delusional I was.

I was too drunk in the beauty of my dream, I couldn't see its truth, I acknowledged for the first time the fact my dream wasn't even mine to begin with, it wasn't born from my desires it was borrowed,

fake

I saw the truth of my dream, my ideal, how impossible it was

no matter how hard I tried it's unachievable, it's an absolutely unattainable dream

To be a 'hero of justice' someone who saves everyone, such a thing doesn't exist

I saw the reality he faced, the despair, the truth

Then I realized what awaited me at the end of the path

Hill of Swords

everyone can't be saved, if someone laughs someone else cries, as long humans exist conflicts will exist too the sorrow will never end

the desire to be a 'Hero of Justice' is the utmost fantasy and delusion.

still, I accepted it

I didn't give up on it

saving people isn't wrong, saving everyone isn't wrong

my dream isn't wrong

even if I can't reach it, it's worse to not even try

I accepted myself, my past, my present, my future, even my death, and what comes after

my fate

The sixth, my battle against the king of heroes the most powerful hero in all history

someone who's light-years beyond me, in every aspect, against me just a mere human being, not even a proper magus, a spell caster at best, yet with my allies help, an unwavering will that does not budge, risking my own life at every step, pushing non-stop and exceeding my limits I was able to compete against him and even surpass him for a brief moment

After thinking it accurately, all these memories were part of something bigger the 'Holy Grail War'

The seventh isn't a specific memory, but rather a person

the dearest to me. The one who played the biggest role in my life. At one time, we were enemies, then we became allies. After the war, she became my instructor in magecraft, guiding me, and teaching me to cherish myself, she was the love of my life

but

In the end, we parted ways like I did with everyone else I ended up alone, went on pursuing my ideal

never retreat, don't stop, always move forward

I traveled as a freelance magus pursuing my dream, pushing myself forward until I reached my limits as a human in both magecraft and physical capabilities.

I Resorted to other fields of strength and its ways

experience, tactics, instincts, insight, adaptation and Survival, even deception and deceiving,

I went on to stop all kinds of conflicts however who or what caused them, serial killers, terrorists, rebellions, civil wars, national wars, of course humans weren't the only ones I faced, I was heavily involved in the moonlit world, I dealt with Magical phenomenons, phantasmal species, evil creatures, The mages caused so much chaos too, they were whole troublesome, I hunted rogue mages and even official mages if they crossed the line in my standards, I didn't care what the mage's association thought or if they targeted me, whatever was a threat in my standards, I was there to stop it in the way I saw fit. Of course, it's impossible for one man to solve all the conflicts in the world. I associated with specific organizations that shared the same objectives as mine, and sometimes I only formed an alliance with some people. I used whatever it took to forward.

My last memory was the day I was executed on the hill. I was declared the mastermind of the war. I accepted it and even played along. I knew it long before then from the memories of my future alternative self, someone had to take all the hatred and despair for the war to end, to break the chains of spite

the war ended. I knew humanity won't stop setting out wars anyway, but that war ended and it worth it, I'll die one day anyway the important thing is how

that day Emiya Shirou died

Knowing my future alternative-self experience, I valued what I had, I lived my life to the fullest, I always made the choice I truly believed in, from the bottom of my heart, I did my best, Somethings went the same, Some things were better and Somethings gone worse

My life has been so hectic, peaceful would be the last thing I'd call it with

I've gone through lots of ventures, battles, and wars

My life has been full of conflicts

no matter what we choose, always there will be regrets

I made lots of mistakes, things I am not proud of

But the one thing I don't ever regret is the path I chose

Even if I took wrong turns sometimes, for me

this is the only path '

the day the war ended was the day Emiya Shirou died

The man once was named Emiya Shirou definitely died

but the dead can't save people

Emiya Shirou died, but his existence never ended, his belief, his ideal, his dream, his will kept existing even after his death, his existence extended to after death

'I entered the throne of heroes by making a contract with the counterforce, 'Alaya' the so-called will of humanity

to be a hero after death, to save people in my afterlife, I became Alaya agent.

I become the entity known as Counter-Guardian, balance protectors

being sent to crisis sites when there is a chance of humanity's extinction to eliminate the threat and ensure humanity's survival one hundred percent.

Unfortunately, the main and usual enemy, the greatest threat to humanity, is humans themselves.

The counterforce won't interfere unless absolutely necessary, only when there is a chance humanity is on its way to extinction, Alaya sent its agents

by then it's too late to solve anything, all that can be done is eliminating the threat

eliminating the threat usually is to kill all involved parties

Any signs of repeating the conflict or starting a new one must be removed

so instead of solving the conflict, erase it

As long as humanity exists, conflicts will exist too, and so do I

I become a "hero" someone who saves people, I wanted to save everyone, but who was everyone again? my friends? my allies? innocents? mankind? the world? '

whatever it is I didn't achieve it yet

the world is still full of conflicts and it will always be... But

I won't turn back, I won't quit, I'll go on

I won't ever change the path

I'll keep walking the same path

further, further, further

always tasked to overcome crises way bigger than me

every time they create a crisis worse than the last one, on a greater scale, more destruction, more blood, more despair.

as if Alaya daring me as if the will of humanity is mocking me as if humanity itself is challenging me to stop them

outmatched, outnumbered, outpowered

To overcome those far superior to me, I challenged myself, surpassed my limits, violated the rules, and... I suffered the consequences

I gave everything I had, for the sake of my ideal, my creations, my mind, my body and soul, my whole life

I didn't mind when I got injured, torn, or killed, it still hurts but I accepted it as part of my striving. it happen Repeatedly, like a daily routine

What really upset me is when I have to give things that aren't mine

When I have to sacrifice others in the process

When I crumbled their houses

When I annihilated their lands

When I took their lives

I hate it, I can't stand it

There are always casualties on all sides

Allies, enemies, and innocents

However, I'll do what I have to do, I'll do my best I won't give up on saving everyone

No matter how destructive they are, or how wicked they get, for the beauty behind their ugliness, I will save them all

But it always seems to be out of my reach, drifting farther and farther away

I have gone above and beyond, trying harder and harder more and more

It doesn't matter how far I push myself, no matter how far I extend my hand, I can't even see it

I knew it all along, a long time ago, I've known it all this time, through the knowledge my future-self passed to me

My dream is no longer a goal, for me, it's not a destination but a way to live

Even if I can't reach it, I'll keep on the path

In my life, in my death, and even after

forever

I'll be a Hero of Justice'

He was deep in thoughts when he heard a voice

It took him some time to comprehend what he was hearing

"huh? What is this?"

Heed my words

"Where does the sound come from?"

My will create your body

This feeling, it's a call

Your sword creates my destiny

there is something off

If you heed the Grail's call and obey my will and reason

This sound is familiar, I heard it before

then answer me

There is a strange feeling inside me

I hereby swear...

I feel drawn to the source of the sound

That I shall be all the good in the world.

There is a lane to the world

That I shall defeat all evil in the world.

Far, tiny and faint, but I can trace it

y-

There is it, I found it

A gap in the cloudy sky appeared, a bright light coming from afar

It's the lane to the world

He stretched out his hand to the sky to hold the light

The bright light bathed everything and he dived into, tracing the lane, all the way to its source