Disclaimer: EVERYTHING belongs to J. M. Barrie. This fic is NOT for profit.
Wendy Darling was not like the rest of the girls of her age. She did not dream of marriage or motherhood. She dreamed of travel, adventure, pirate ships, the sea, freedom. When Peter Pan took her to Neverland, she was very happy, she wanted to share that adventure with her brothers, savor freedom for a moment, without anyone imposing stupid rules or deciding her future. She wanted to be the one to decide for herself.
But Peter didn't understand her. She did not want to be a mother and Peter Pan forced her to accept a stupid game in which he was the Pater Familia and she had to take care of the Lost Children. Some children who used to go with sticks, bows and arrows and mess with Captain Hook's crew and not content with that, sometimes even killed him. How was that different from piracy? Absolutely nothing, except that they were children and could do it, but since she was a girl she had to stay home, waiting for "her children" to return from her adventure so that she could take care of them and cover all their needs.
At what point did she agree to be a mother? Stay with Peter? She had never decided that. It was Peter Pan who decided for her. It was her siblings who decided to stay with Peter and the rest of the lost children. The only decision she had made freely since she came to Neverland was to join Captain Hook's crew, even knowing the risks of piracy and that he was Peter Pan's mortal enemy. And she didn't care about anything. That, because She decided for once in her life what She really wanted.
Her brothers did not see her. They only saw what London society wanted them to see: a girl who was to become a woman and who would soon have to marry and bring offspring to this world.
The lost children did not see her. They only saw what Peter Pan wanted them to see: a little girl who told stories and whom they had to call mother.
But she didn't want to be their mother. Because she didn't want to be anyone's mother. She neither at thirteen nor ever.
Wendy Darling dreamed of deciding for herself what adventures she wanted to experience. Neverland had never denied her that because Captain Hook had given her the option of being part of his pirate crew. Wendy had accepted under the name Red Handed Jill.
And she didn't regret that. She had been proud when Peter, her siblings, and the rest of the lost boys had questioned her decision saying that a woman could not be a pirate. In that moment Wendy understood who the real villains in the story were: they were. Because they had given him the opportunity to take her on adventures and when she had wanted to separate from them and start living her own adventure they had treated her as if she had lost her mind.
Her brothers did not know her. They only knew the facet of an older sister that by obligation she had had to play, because since she had to take off her own time every day to tend to her siblings as if she were a substitute for her mother or a nanny, she could well take advantage of that time to tell their stories and have fun too. That she didn't mean that she always had to be willing or that she had to for the rest of her life. When would she really start her life?
The feelings she had for Peter Pan, if she ever had any, had begun to evaporate when he said those horrible words to her. It was her decision and he should not have gotten involved, in any case he should have supported her, since he said he cared about her and he was her friend. He took her there, it is true, but she was not her slave. She didn't belong to anyone, she was free, like a pirate. She began to feel resentment and disgust towards Peter, towards her siblings, towards the lost boys. And she wanted to get out of there, go to the Jolly Roger where she felt safe. But she had responsibilities to her brothers, she couldn't leave them stranded there, under Pan's protection. She had to take them home, to their parents, so that she could set sail with Hook without remorse, so making a tremendous effort, she decided to leave too, to return to London, with her parents, to her golden cage. But she verified that her siblings did indeed return home, that Peter was not holding them captive while the days in Neverland passed and her memories faded.
And over the years, she began to abide by the responsibilities that everyone imposed on her. But in hers, her heart, Red Handed Jill waited, patiently waiting for her captain to return for her, not to have forgotten her. Red Handed Jill knew that she had chosen her captain well, that Hook was a man of his word, and that he would never break a promise, much less so vilely.
Captain Hook was a man of feelings. Distraught by his loneliness, with the only company of his crew. Wendy Darling had seen what was hidden in the depths of his heart, the pain that could be seen reflected in his eyes as blue as the sea itself, she had also seen his anger and she knew of his reputation as cruel and feared pirate. And yet She had decided to join his crew. She had been fascinated by the feelings that man could show in just a few moments. She was alone too, deep down, she knew he knew. Wendy Darling had always been around people, but they couldn't see her, they didn't really know her. Captain Hook had managed to lessen her loneliness that day on the Jolly Roger, when, for the first and only time, she could be truly happy. Hook was the hero of his tale, where Peter had been the villain.
Wendy will never be able to forget the laughter of Peter, of her brothers, of the lost boys when she decided to take a risk and reveal her most intimate desires: to be called Red Handed Jill, to sail under Hook's flag in the Jolly Roger, perhaps one day to captain her own ship that would call Flora Infraganti. She was crying for years, knowing that no one could understand her, that if she said something inappropriate because that was how she thought, everyone would laugh at her and she would not be accepted, she would be an outcast for society, where London women were instilled that her dreams should be to care for her husband and children.
Ever since she decided to put off her dreams of freedom, that day when Peter had brought her and her brothers home, it had all been accepting responsibility and letting others run her life. They said that the rebellious side of her would pass when she married, when she had her first child. But she knew better, she knew that if she married she would hate her husband with all her strength, for it was not something she had wanted. She knew that if she had children, her boredom would take hold of her as she watched as each day that passed her dreams and hopes for her evaporated because of something that had been imposed on her and had not freely chosen. She knew it because it was the same thing she felt when Peter Pan forced her to be the mother of lost boys.
She wondered where Hook was, if he still remembered her. She always left the window open, in case her captain came to pick her up. Today was the last day she could consider herself single. She will marry at noon tomorrow to a husband whom she had not chosen and whom she did not love and she would never love. Today, more than ever, she wanted to return to Neverland.
She saw a shadow on her window and the sound of someone knocking on the glass. Her heart began to pound. She opened the window. Captain Hook was in the Jolly Roger, imposing. Smee had disembarked and had banged on her window.
"What are you doing here, Captain?" Wendy asked. She wanted to cry: joy, happiness, pure bliss because he still remembered her.
"I'm here to pick up a member of my crew". said James Hook "By any chance you haven't seen her? Her name is Red Handed Jill. I think I have punished her enough for the riot she organized against me."
Wendy Darling instantly understood what he had meant. Back then, she was a child worried about her siblings and she had chosen to take her siblings home and let a crocodile gobble up the man who had offered her a place among his own. She had been disloyal and James Hook, her captain, had taken so long to fetch her to teach her that loyalty should be paramount on a ship. The captain's life was in the hands of his crew, just as his crew was the captain's responsibility.
"She's ready to sail, Captain". –Wendy said looking into his eyes with all the seriousness that she could. "Always at your command, Captain."
"Then get on board Red Handed Jill and tell us a story". Captain Hook ordered.
"Be careful, miss". Smee said.
Wendy pounced on the rope that Smee offered her and, as if it were a boarding, scrambled up it, hoping to reunite with Hook and his crew, who would soon become her mates and live many adventures. She couldn't wait to leave London and when the Jolly Roger finally set sail, she didn't look back and at last, after many years of crying, she smiled, because her life began now and it was just as she had dreamed it.