Dwalin never really spared a second thought to their burglar during the quest. He had been too concerned about his king, the princes and his brother. He kept an eye on the others but believed that they could take care of themselves. So no, really, he had no time to start befriending the little hobbit. She had intrigued him with her habit of jumping in front of danger to protect others, but nothing more. He even remembered sighing deeply, knowing that he was in charge of the protection of just another reckless person. But after the Battle of the Five Armies, as it was called, and when Erebor regained a bit of stability, Dwalin found his thoughts turning towards her more often than not. Blossom had embraced her femininity like she couldn't during the Quest. She wore beautiful dresses, carefully combed her hair in the beautiful hairstyles, she was practically glowing. He wondered if she was dressing up for herself, or if it was for a dwarf. Somehow, thinking that she would want to be pretty for someone else made his blood burn. His thoughts were drifting towards possessive before he caught himself and shook his head, surprised at his own behaviour.
That night was a ball, to celebrate Lady Dis's return home. He smiles slightly, how goo it felt to be able to refer of Erebor as home again. Anyway, Dwalin was desperately trying to escape the chore of having to go, but Balin was having none of that.
"You are going. End of the discussion." He said in his most firm voice. Dwalin will always deny having whined, no matter what his brother would say. It was a manly complaint.
"But Baliin!" Nevertheless, the dwarf wasn't budged, and a slight pout rested on Dwalin's lips. A timid knock stopped him form talking back to his brother, as both of their gazes fell on the person in the entrance.
"Blossom! What brings you here?" Balin exclaimed, all too chipper to escape the unavoidable argument with his thick-headed brother. She glanced up at the scribe before looking at him, an unnameable emotion burning in her eyes for a second before it was gone. She smiled warmly at them both.
"I'm just here to give you this, Balin. Thorin asked me to." She answered, giving him some thick papers.
"This must be the peace treaty I asked him for. So, Blossom! How is everything going? I heard you were helping out in the kitchens." Dwalin tuned them off as they exchanged pleasantries. He focused, no matter how hard he tried not to stare, on the former burglar's beauty. On her golden curl that were shining in the sunlight, on her glowing skin, on her hobbit-y clothes. She was wearing a skirt, a corset and a deep green waistcoat. She was truly beautiful.
Every time, her eyes would stray on him, his heart would try to beat its way out of his chest. If he was honest to himself, the treacherous thing was doing so for already two months now. Anytime she would walk into his sight, it would thunder so hard Dwalin actually thought everybody could hear it. And that's just when he sees her, you can only imagine how it is when she would look at him, smile at him, talk to him or worse, laugh with him.
Anyway, after a few minutes of talking to Balin, she left waving at them, granting them one last blinding smile. He didn't even notice the silly grin on his face until his annoying brother smirked at him with knowing eyes, before humming and leaving. Dwalin groaned under his breath and decided to take his frustrations out on the new recruits of the Guard.
Once the night came, well the ball came too, much to Dwalin's desperation. He hated those kinds of stuffy events, where he had to leave his axes, dress nicely and even smile! Nobody had seen Lady Dis except her brother and sons and were waiting for her arrival. She came a little late, her shield-maiden, Freya, trailing behind her. They were both dressed beautifully. Now Dwalin was excited! He had missed Freya the most during the Quest. She was his closest friend after Thorin, and she fought like a tigress. They liked sparring together and he looked forward to doing so again. For the rest of the night, the two guards talked, joked and laughed. Dwalin had been so busy catching up that he didn't even notice when Blossom entered the ball nor her jealous and self-deprecating gaze as she watched him and Freya together.
.
.
.
Blossom had decided to stay in Erebor after the battle, to stay with her family but mostly, to try and catch the attention of one particular dwarf. Indeed, she was in love with most intimidating and scary dwarf she had ever seen, but also the one with the hidden gentleness and the purest heart, even though he might disagree with that. But he was also the most unreachable she understood the night of the ball, except the married ones of course. No, not Thorin, but Dwalin actually.
She arrived at the ball a little late because she had been busy helping with the farms that were built near the mountain. She put her best dress, a green one, Dwalin's favourite colour, Balin had informed her. She even wore those bloody shoes that she hated with a passion. She danced with plenty dwarrows, with all the company, starting with Fili and ending with Thorin. All of them, except Dwalin. Nope, he didn't even glance in her direction. Not once. She felt invisible somehow, helpless, hopeless too. Just like she wasn't even worth a look form him.
She sighed once more as she observed him and the beautiful dam he was with from the beginning. She was the epitome of dwarven beauty, her black curls flying around her, a well-groomed beard that probably drew Dwalin in more than her beardless chin, and a muscled, strong body. Not like Blossom's soft belly, arms and legs. Well, she was absolutely everything the hobbit was not, and it made her hopeless. She knew very well that she had a hobbit's body and that she would never be able to have that kind of body or hair.
Not able to take it anymore, she left early, smiling weakly at the worried faces of the company. She quickly ran to her room, locked the door to avoid any intrusion and cried herself to sleep. If love hurt that much, then she wanted nothing with it.
A few weeks had passed since the ball during which she ignored Dwalin thoroughly. Not that he noticed she thought glumly. The final straw was the day she got lost in the mountain and somehow ended up in the training grounds. And guess who was there. Dwalin and that dam of course. And guess what. Freya was a bloody goddess when she fought. Nothing to do with Blossom's odd stance, no, she was actually on Dwalin's level. And the awe in the warrior's eyes was killing her. She quickly asked her way to a dwarf nearby and fled, ignoring Dwalin's confused 'Blossom?'.
That day, she finally had enough. It was going to hurt to leave her friends and family behind. Erebor had became her home but this was too much. It was torture. To see the one you love enthralled and captivated by another. It hurt too much. She was going back to the Shire. She would visit sometimes, of course she would! But she needed time to mend what was broken, to stitch her wounds. Yes, that's what she would do, maybe stop at Mirkwood, Beorn's or Rivendell for a time. But she had to leave Erebor.
Every night, they had dinner all together, the company, Dis and Freya. Everything was perfect, nobody noticed Blossom's pale face, clenched jaw and tight fists. Suddenly, she stood up.
"Could everybody please listen to me?" She asked, gulping at the tightening feeling in her chest. All eyes were on her.
"As we all know, Erebor is doing perfectly under Thorin and Dis." At that, cheers started. A smile was etched on everybody's faces except Fili's, who was watching her, worried. She bit her lip and took a deep breath, her gaze avoiding Dwalin.
"I think it's time that I go back to the Shire." She declared, silence settling as all looked shocked. Shouts and angry yells began rising.
"Enough!" She yelled. Determination burned in her eyes as she looked each of them in the eye, except Dwalin and Freya.
"I'm asking you to understand that I need to go home. You should understand better than anyone. You're the ones who went on a quest to retake your home from a bloody dragon. I have my own dragon to deal with. I need to go back to my armchair and my garden, to my books. I will miss you all fiercely for you are my family. All of you. And I will visit from time to time of course. But I need to go. I have to." During all her speech, she kept her eyes away from Dwalin, afraid of the indifference she would probably find in his eyes. Fili stood too.
"No! You will not be leaving us! You can't do that! I won't let you." Her heart sank as she watched the blond dwarf. He and Kili had become the brothers she always wished she had. It hurt to see the sorrow and betrayal in his eyes.
"Fili… I…" She tried but he cut her off.
"No! You said you were alone there! You said it yourself! Then why are you so eager to go back!?" She wanted to cower from the pain and anger in his voice. Tears were filling her eyes.
"Because it's my home! My family lives there for Yavanna's sake!" She yelled back, already regretting her words when Fili's face lost all emotions to become a blank mask.
"Just when did we stop being enough for you?" He asked, emotionless, ignoring his mother's hissed 'Fili!'. The tears were now freely pooling on her face. He looked at her for a few seconds before sighing and walking away.
"Fee!" She called after him, her voice breaking. He did not stop, not even for a second. She wanted nothing more than to fall on her knees and sob, but she would not. Not in front of everyone. She sniffled and wiped her tears before turning towards the company.
"I'm sorry. But please understand that I have to go. I will leave in two days. Good night." she did a clumsy bow towards Thorin and Dis before quickly leaving the dinner room. She ran in the direction Fili left before finally catching up to him.
"Fili!" She shouted, he just walked faster. She ran up to him and hugged him from behind. He stiffened and stopped in his tracks.
"Fili please listen to me. I swear there is a reason behind my departure. I'm begging you, listen please!" She begged. He said nothing but didn't move. She took that as his green light to explain.
"I can't see it anymore Fee. It hurts too much. I'm in love. I fell in love with Dwalin." He actually jumped from the surprise of hearing her say that. He quickly turned around, facing her.
"You love Dwalin?" He asked, incredulous. She nodded and he waited for the rest of the story, even though he thought he knew what the problem was.
"I love him as a whole. I love his appearance, though a little scary at first, I love his loyalty, I love his sarcasm, his gentle heart and steely eyes. I love him so much that I would die for him any day. But he obviously prefers Freya. At first, I didn't mean to be jealous. But I can't anymore. Every time I see them together, my heart hurts and I want to cry. I can't continue like that anymore. I will go to the Shire, but I promise I will stay a year, two at most, before coming back to you. I just need time to recover, to heal my broken heart. Please Fili, can you understand that?" She looked up at him with teary eyes and he smiled slightly.
"I understand. But I'm coming with you." He declared, patting her head with fond eyes.
"What? No! You can't! What of Erebor, of your mother, uncle? What of Kili?" She fretted and he chuckled.
"If we're gone two years at most, I think Erebor and my mother will survive. Kili will probably come with us, so there's no problem there. You are the most important now, namad. I didn't notice how much you were hurting, and that shames me. But now, I will be by your side, me and Kili both will. We took you as a sister and we'll take care of you as such." He said, looking her in the eyes. He smiled a little when she burst into sobs and hugged him tight, whispering thank you repeatedly.
They both weren't aware of the bulky figure, hiding behind a wall, shocked of what he just heard.
.
.
.
Dwalin had noticed. He had noticed that she was avoiding him. Though he couldn't figure out why. What was it he had done that deserved that she ignored his presence? It had been three weeks since the ball and he was getting really worried.
He noticed how she ate less and less. He had seen how sunken her cheeks seemed, how her usually glowing skin was now dull, how her eyes were always red-rimmed, how dark the circles under her eyes had gotten. He saw all of that, but he wasn't able to talk about it with her. Every time she saw him, she would find some excuse to leave the room in a hurry. It was hurting him. He didn't understand and it was killing him inside. What had he done to offend her so greatly?
That's why he took out all his frustrations out on the ring with Freya. They fought daily, for hours sometimes. One day, as they were sparing as usual, she suddenly used a head lock that put him on the ground in less than five seconds. He was in awe, wanting to learn it too. Then he saw a small back, golden curls and big feet.
"Blossom?" He called out. She didn't turn or even stop. He was confused and went to the dwarf she was speaking to.
"Harr, was that Blossom?" He asked. The guard nodded.
"She was asking for directions. She got lost apparently. Though she seemed like she would start crying any time soon." Harr confided and Dwalin frowned deeply.
"You're worried about her? Strange. I thought you weren't close since you two haven't spoken once in the three weeks I've been here." Freya suddenly said.
"Nah, we are close. At least I think so. We used to talk everyday but then she started avoiding me for some reason. I have no idea of what exactly I have done to deserve that though." A small sigh escaped his lips and the dam grinned at him.
"Ohh, my little Dwalin found love! How cute! Lain and I were starting to despair. Sooo, the hobbit huh?" She teased. Dwalin groaned half-heartedly. He, she and Lain, Freya's husband, were friends since childhood. They often teased the warrior for his lack of love life. He knew that he would not be able to escape Lain and his friendly mocking tomorrow.
"Yeah. I fell in love with one cheerful, sassy little hobbit. Though she isn't so cheery anymore for some reason." He confessed and his friend put her hand on his shoulder.
"You should talk to her. Something's obviously hurting her." Dwalin nodded, his eyes full of determination.
"After dinner, tonight, I will speak to her. I need to know what happened." Freya smiled and they went back to sparring."
When dinner came, Dwalin was feeling nervous. But when he saw Blossom's clenched jaw and fists, his earlier nervousness disappeared, replaced by worry. He glanced up at Fili and saw him carefully study the hobbit's face too.
Then she dropped the bomb. She wanted to go back to the Shire. And not only did she say that, but she avoided his gaze the whole time. He truly didn't know what hurt more. His nails were breaking skin as he tightened his fists, anger and sorrow killing him. He wished he could have yelled like Fili had but he didn't. He didn't have the courage to do that. When she started crying, it took all his willpower to not run by her side.
She decided to leave in two days. Two days. Then she ran away, probably chasing after Fili. Dwalin didn't know what to do. He actually wanted to start crying. When was the last time he cried? And now he wanted to, because the one he loved, the one he held so closely to his heart was going to leave. She was going to leave him, and he would never be able to tell her how he felt.
"Go Dwalin. Tell her before it's too late." Freya whispered in his ear and he immediately stood up, following her.
He never thought that he would be listening in on her confessing her love towards him and affirming that he didn't love her but preferred Freya. At that moment, he wanted to jump in and tell her how wrong she was, but his legs wouldn't move. He couldn't move a single muscle. His brain couldn't comprehend her words.
He hurt her. He hurt her so badly she had to leave. That knowledge tore him apart. He was the cause of her recent behaviour. He finally understood why she was avoiding him. He was spending all his free time with Freya. How could she not misunderstand? He didn't know how long he stood there but when he finally regained control on his members, he ran. His only destination, Blossom's room. He didn't care about the hour, and the looks of confusion thrown at him. He picked up the speed, he had to go there faster. He had hurt her long enough as it is. He would not make her suffer a minute more.
When he finally found the door of her room, he stopped. Taking deep breaths to calm his nervousness, he clenched his fists tightly, gathering all of his courage. He knocked, once, twice, thrice before taking a step back, refraining his feet from pacing. The door opened on Blossom in a bathrobe. He smiled a bit, his eyes growing fonder. That brought back memories of their first meeting.
"Dwalin? What are you doing here?" She asked, her head tilting in a cute confused way. She opened the door wider, letting him in which he did with pleasure.
"Sooo, what brings to my room?" She tried again. This time, he looked her in the eyes and smiled at her. Her eyebrows shot up as her cheeks heated. She fanned her face with her hand before noticing what she was doing and immediately putting her hand down. He wondered how he never noticed her feelings were reciprocating his own. She wasn't exactly very subtle.
"Blossom, I have to tell you something. I hope that will make you reconsider leaving." When Dwalin said those words, he watched as a veil of sadness showed in her eyes, but his determination was too strong to be just broken by a look.
"Dwalin…" She started but he cut her off, his face asking her to let him a chance.
"I… Wow, never thought it would be so hard to say… During the quest, I didn't look at you much. I confess that you were nothing more than a comrade. But when you started living in Erebor, I began noticing you more. I would be conscious of every look you would throw at me, every smile, every word. All of that would fluster me to no end. I would notice the beauty of your curls, the shining in your eyes, everything about you is just magnificent. I would also see all your moods even if you tried to hide your sadness sometimes with half baked smiles. When you started avoiding me three weeks ago, I couldn't understand the reason. It actually hurt me a lot that you would shun me from your life so easily. But now, I understand. And I have to say it. Freya is my childhood friend, I know her and Lain since we were babes. Lain is her husband. I have no romantic feelings towards her. The only one I love is you, Blossom. For already three months, you are the only one I see."
His words started to look like rambling, so he went straight to the point. He wondered if he spoke that much in his life. The hobbit was looking at the ground, her hair acting as a curtain to hide her face. His hand went to her chin and gently raised her visage. Her beautiful eyes were shining with tears and she was biting her bottom lip.
"Is it true Dwalin? Or did Fili just ask you to act this way?" Her voice was breaking, tearing his soul in pieces as well.
"Blossom. Look into my eyes and search for that answer yourself." He declared, smiling gently. He allowed all of his love for her to flow in his eyes and she gasped softly. Her tears started rolling on her cheeks before she jumped in his arms, holding him tight enough to knock the breath away from his lungs. Dwalin responded to the hug for a minutes before teasing her lightly.
"Are you already trying to kill me? I still need to breathe." He watched as her eyes widened before she quickly released hi from her death grip, her cheeks red of embarrassment.
They smiled widely at each other and Dwalin felt his heart grow lighter. He finally felt at his ease. He finally understood the saying 'Home is where the heart is.'. He felt sorry for anyone who hadn't felt this sort of happiness. He, for one, wasn't going to let go of his source of happiness anytime soon.