MEET THE CONTESTANTS!
"To be honest, I didn't know what this was."
Jesse sat straight up in his chair. He avoided looking at the camera, his eyes darting around the studio.
"One of your people was talking to my Commander, said there were credits involved?" He laughed nervously. "It's not that I need credits…. But paid vacation is paid vacation.."
-'Jesse' Talking Head Interview
"So all of us vod were cast in this kriffing thing for credits-"
"He means us, Jesse, Kix, Hardcase, Cody, Wolffe, Gree, Dogma, Tup, Bly, and Rex. About 12 of us."
"Yeah, anyway…."
Fives spun around in his spinning chair, Echo scrolling through a datapad. The two brothers seemed determined to not pay the camera any attention, despite the producers cajoling.
"I thought that this was kinda sketched, y'know? 'Cause like, Commander Tano is like a Jedi. Jedi don't really do that dating thing? And I'm pretty sure that the GAR is against dating too?"
"Relationships between superiors and inferiors is against section 290 of the official GAR regulations."
"Yeah, so Echo here is really good at echoing rules…"
Fives and Echo talking head interview-
"You would think that this entire thing would be scripted, but it's not. They do give a little character direction. For example, the director wanted me to play a himbo..." Tup caught the eye of the interviewer. "Oh, was I not supposed to say that?"
"You got cast as the himbo?" Dogma leaned over Hardcase. "I heard Wolffe got cast as the single dad."
"Cut!"
-Tup, Hardcase, & Dogma, Talking head interview
"I was not cast as the single dad. I believe that my cybernetic eye has made me a villain candidate." Wolffe paused to wink at a woman passing off camera. "Hellooooo beautiful."
Wolffe Talking head interview-
"So, Commander Tano has to give us a rose?" Gree scowled.
"Yeah, if she gives you a rose you stay," Bly said, glancing off-camera for verification.
"And if she doesn't, you gotta go home," Kix added.
"So my goal is to get a rose."
Off-camera the interviewer says, "No, your goal is to get with Ahsoka."
Gree's frown grew even deeper. "I don't wanna get with Commander Tano."
"Think of the credits, Gree! The credits." Kix hissed.
- Kix, Gree, & Bly talking head interview
Cody fixed a smile at the camera. "I know that y'all were trying to go for a 'brothers fight over the same girl concept', but Commander is like a sister to us. We're just here for a hog licking good time!" Cody made a gesture with his arm, his smile fading. "I know you wanted me to play 'the country brother', but I really don't know how…."
Cody Talking Head Interview-
"While most Jedi are celibate, there is one who is allowed to reproduce as he is one of the last remaining males of his species." Rex sat stiffly in his chair, holding his helmet at his side. "Jedi aren't allowed to form attachments or get married. I don't really know what you expect to happen by having a Jedi Bachelorette."
"You seem to have put a lot of thought into this."
"I do my research."
- Rex Talking Head interview
"Did you meet the boys yet?" Ahsoka asked, sitting down. Her sabers hang at her side. Like the clone troopers, she's dressed in her military uniform.
"You certainly have some great options! More than what most contestants have for sure…."
"They're a little strange," Ahsoka said fondly. "But they are mine."
"One of them will most certainly be yours."
Ahsoka gave the interviewer a weird look. "So, when are my boys going to find love?"
"It depends if you pick them."
"I'm sorry?"
"You're the bachelorette."
Ahsoka's mouth formed an O'. "Um, so I thought this was a speed dating thing for my troopers …." She began flipping through the stack of papers on her lap.
"You all already signed the contract."
"Kriff."
The camera panned into Ahsoka's paleing face as orange text rolled across the screen.
Jedi Ahsoka Tano ! THIS SEASON'S BACHELORETTE! 7PM CST TIME ON SWB.
Sorry Guys, this was uploaded wrong. Hope yall enjoy!