Peace came upon me

And it leaves me weak

So sleep, silent angel

Go to sleep

chapter viii

"Sirius?" Remus asked, shocked to see him there.

"W-wait," he stopped in his tracks, "Moony?"

Remus couldn't tear his eyes away from the figure that stood beneath the dim moonlight. It was just too good to be true.

"What are you doing here?" Remus asked in marvel.

"I—I was going somewhere."

He could sense the hesitance in Sirius' tone.

"Somewhere?" he was hopeful.

Sirius finally decided to move again and went down the small staircase that led to the house's door. Soon, he was face to face with Remus.

"Did you come to see Mary?" Sirius asked, ignoring his question.

Remus had already done enough hiding by that point. The last week was entirely made up of his scheming and ridiculous lies that got him absolutely nowhere. From where he stood then, in the middle of the night outside Mary's house with a pipe still in his hands, he had nothing else to lose.

"You know I didn't," he almost whispered.

Hadn't the street been so quiet, he wouldn't have heard the sharp intake in Sirius' breathing.

"What were you doing to my car just now?" Sirius asked with caution.

Remus turned to look at the scene of the crime and scratched his head.

"Sorry about that… I ran out of petrol."

"So you decided to steal? That's not very Remus Lupin of you."

"It was an emergency."

Sirius evaluated him for a second before dropping his gaze to the ground. "Getting home?" he asked.

"No." Remus tried putting all of himself into the response.

Sirius didn't look sure about anything while Remus, for the lack of a better word, looked like an arse who had no idea of what to do. He had thought about throwing himself at Sirius' feet and asking for forgiveness. Or just kissing him fiercely and without warning. Anything would be better than standing awkwardly with a pipe in his hand, waiting for something to happen.

The twenty-six hours left came to his head again. Hell, it wasn't even twenty-six anymore. He had no idea of just how much time had passed.

Fuck it.

"And… what are you doing here?" Remus asked while tilting his head to the side.

Sirius finally looked at him again, this time with a raised eyebrow as if he'd been caught by surprise.

"Came to see a friend."

"I hadn't realised you and Mary had got so close after two minutes of conversation."

"Go figure," Sirius shrugged.

Remus sighed lightly. It wasn't working out.

He'd have to cut through his own bullshit and give Sirius what he deserved.

"Sirius, listen," he began, staring at him with pleading eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry about what you heard.—Actually, no. I'm sorry for everything; for lying, for saying awful things and for, well, being an outright arse to you all that time." He took a second to breathe. "You weren't supposed to hear any of that, but I wasn't supposed to say it either. It was all a lie. I didn't mean any of it. I don't know why I ruin everything, but it wasn't meant to happen."

Sirius looked at him carefully. Remus' chest tightened. He had thought so much about what to say that after he said it, it all just sounded like utter crap. It wasn't easy to say any of it when faced with Sirius, though. His icy blue eyes examined him, and Remus felt like he was under a microscope.

"You didn't mean it?" Sirius asked with caution.

"None of it." Remus shook his head vehemently. "I promise. I'll tell you everything you could ever wish to know about me. I'll explain everything about Gideon. I won't lie,—but I need you to know that not all of it was a lie. Most of it wasn't. Only the parts about Gideon and the bullshit I said. The situation I mentioned was far, so far, from terrible. You were a wake-up call in my life. If it weren't for you, I would have died miserable in that shite flat, thinking about how much I hate Gideon all the while I actually only hated myself."

"When I heard there were only a few hours left, I started driving back to Edinburgh. That's the emergency, and, God, Sirius, I know you probably hate me right now but I'm so happy that I at least got to see you one last time, even if you punch me and leave me here to die with no petrol."

Remus finally took a breath. His head was empty. He had said everything, but it still felt like there was much to be said. His simple, frail words couldn't truly express what he felt, but he couldn't turn into Shakespeare at command.

To his despair, Sirius was unreadable. He simply stood there looking at him with his face still slightly turned to the ground.

"You were going back?" Sirius asked.

"Yes," he answered simply. "I couldn't die owing you an explanation. You deserved better."

He could see Sirius bite the inside of his cheek carefully. Over the days, he noticed that was something he did in moments of concentration.

Remus still looked at him with pleading eyes. He was taken aback the moment Sirius' lips curved into a shy smile.

"You know I didn't come here to see Mary."

"You didn't?"

"Of course not." his smile widened. "I was just passing by."

Remus soon felt himself smile as well. He stood with folded arms and red cheeks, suddenly too self-aware to even properly look at Sirius.

"Daft bastard, of course he didn't come to see me." Remus turned his head hastily to find Mary leaning against the doorframe with folded arms while wearing a robe and a smug look on her face.

"Jesus, Mary. How long have you been standing there?" he asked.

"Long enough." she shrugged.

"Uh. Right," said Sirius.

They clearly didn't know what to do next. Remus had daydreamed about their reunion and how it would be just like a tacky movie scene. Now, however, he stood nervously without knowing where to put his hands.

"So… are you just going to stand there?" Mary asked.

"Mary, this doesn't concern you," said Remus.

"Oh, it does." she laughed. "I was woken up in the middle of the night by him," she pointed a finger at Sirius, "just to say that no, you weren't here by any chance."

"Oh." Remus felt his cheeks heat up.

"And now I have to witness this pathetic scene."

"Mary!" Remus reprimanded, to no avail.

"Well, did I lie?" Sirius snorted beside him. "Go home, you two. Or wherever it is that you want to die because it sure isn't at my doorstep."

Remus glanced at Sirius, who wore the same shy smile as he did.

"Okay," he nodded. "I'll get out of your hair."

"Great, sort yourselves out and let's pretend this wasn't our last interaction." Mary leaned away from the door and put a hand on it as if to close it.

Remus smiled fondly at her and nodded. "Alright."

A second before she closed the door, her sarcastic grin turned into a genuine one. After so many years by her side, Remus read it like a book. Mary was happy for him. She thought her work was done.

Then they were alone again. Or finally. God knows how much time Mary stood there listening to them.

"So…" Remus didn't have much to say. But that didn't matter. Not when he glanced upwards to see Sirius taking two strides towards him while holding his hand out.

He didn't have time to process a single thought before his lips crashed onto his. He responded immediately. That was exactly the film-like scene he had imagined while driving that day; Remus was human, after all.

Sirius' hair felt as smooth as ever against his fingers. His face was cold from all the time they spent standing outside, but it was still warmer than Remus', which made him go forward instinctively to seek it.

He lost himself in Sirius knowing they didn't have much time and he had to make every second count. Sirius seemingly had the same thought in his mind.

"Okay." Sirius pulled away with his eyes closed, holding Remus' face between the palms of his hands. "Do you want to die here, or…?"

Remus' serious expression broke into a smile.

"We could go back to James," he offered, fingers fiddling with the hem of Sirius' jacket.

Due to the lack of response, Remus turned his head to look at him. Sirius was biting the inside of his cheek.

"No," he said after some thought.

"No?"

"No," he repeated. "I already made my peace with them. And I want to dedicate every single moment I have left to you."

The sincerity in his eyes made Remus' heart flutter.

"Okay," he found himself saying, entranced.

"Take me to your flat, I want to see it."

Remus nodded in awe.

Soon enough he was driving along the road he now knew all too well towards London. It was very late at night, but he couldn't have been more wide awake. He had to keep glancing towards the passenger's seat just to make sure his mind wasn't playing tricks on him.

He had managed not only to find Sirius but to get his forgiveness. Only in his wildest dreams things would have gone so smoothly. Well, unless the "end of the world" thing proved itself to be a hoax. But he couldn't be so lucky.

"First kiss?" it was his time to ask the question again, and he'd make sure to have all bases covered.

"Hm… Emmeline Vance, third year. Everyone knew she fancied me. I didn't really reciprocate, but people kept telling me I should make a move, so I did. Our relationship definitely did not last."

"What about the first boy you ever kissed?" Remus was curious, he had to admit.

"The rules say one question per round," Sirius announced with a smirk.

"Oh, come on." his grip on the steering wheel loosened.

"Rules are rules."

"And since when do you follow rules?"

Sirius gasped in outrage, "when have I not? Well, anyway, it's my turn now. Let me think… when was your first kiss?"

"Now that's creative," Remus snorted.

"I have a right to know!"

"Alright. You're going to be disappointed, though. It was Mary in fourth year."

"Just as I suspected."

Remus looked at him from the corner of his eyes and saw the playful grin on his lips.

"You suspected it? It's rather obvious, don't pat yourself on the back for it."

"Not it being Marry,—although it is very obvious. It's the fact that you got it later than I did." he laughed.

"Shut up." Remus rolled his eyes. "Not everyone is Don Juan at age thirteen."

"You have to be born with it." he stretched out exaggeratedly. From the corner of his eyes, Remus saw the way his shirt rode up. "See? I don't even have to try..."

Remus looked at him and noticed he had been caught staring. His cheeks quickly reddened.

"Shut up..." he muttered.

"It's your turn." Sirius wiggled his eyebrows comically.

"Alright. The first time you kissed a boy."

"It was James. Fifth year," Sirius answered without missing a beat.

"Oh, you already told me that."

"No, the time we told you about was after that."

"Oh." Remus was caught by surprise. "I thought you were always just friends."

"Christ, Moony, of course we were."

"And I also thought you hadn't come out to anyone."

"And I hadn't… technically. I had never said it… but it doesn't mean he didn't know. James knows me better than I know myself. In fifth year I was going through some stuff and one day we went back to our dorm drunk after a secret party in someone else's common room. I asked him if we could… you know, see what it was like. I was still in my denial phase. He probably knew it. So it happened."

"Was it a common occurrence?"

"God, no. We weren't lovers, Remus," Sirius chuckled. "It was just that night and it lasted, like, ten seconds at best. He was doing me a favour. But it was weird. It felt like kissing my brother. It probably only helped the denial now that I think about it."

The word "brother" stood out to Remus. Sirius had only ever mentioned his actual brother no more than once or twice, and yet the thought occurred to him instantly. He couldn't control his curiosity.

"Good. I was starting to think I'd have the moral obligation to tell Lily."

"Don't bother, she already knows." Sirius waved a hand.

A comfortable silence settled between them, signalling it was time for another question. Remus didn't think twice about it.

"Could you tell me more about your brother?" he asked suddenly.

The playful tone of the conversation quickly shifted into a more sombre one.

"It's not your turn," Sirius said quietly. He wasn't mad, just quiet.

"Sorry," he said a bit awkwardly.

"What happened to your parents?" Sirius asked.

Remus hadn't been expecting the shift of focus. He looked at the road ahead with his hands on the steering wheel and gave up on thinking of a sanitised answer.

"Sorry, I—I shouldn't have asked," Sirius tried to do damage control after his question was followed by a hesitant silence.

"No, it's okay. I was going to tell you everything, remember?" from the corner of his eyes, he saw Sirius nod. "I, uh... was a normal kid up until I was five years old, that's when I started getting sick often. I was never on my deathbed or anything, but I got sick enough to miss a few days of school, which made my mum miss work since she didn't have anyone else to care for me and couldn't afford a nanny. Dad had the better salary, so he always got to go. At first, it didn't happen too often, but then it became more common. We went to all sorts of doctors but none diagnosed me with anything." The words simply rolled off his tongue, something that even caught him by surprise. "The bills stacked up, my parents' relationship worsened as well as the recession. It all culminated in him leaving us."

"Shit, Remus, I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me everything."

"No, no, it's fine. Besides, I'm not finished." he smiled weakly. "I didn't mind it too much, me and dad were never the best of friends. Mum did the best she could raising me, but it turned out she had spent so much time caring for my health that she never bothered to check on hers. I had already graduated from school, but it was rough nonetheless."

"That's awful. God, you should never have gone through that. I spent so much time complaining about my parents to you like a prick!" Sirius was on the verge of beating himself up about the subject.

"What I went through doesn't diminish your experiences."

"I still feel like an arse."

"Don't. My mum was always accepting of me. Sure it wasn't easy living like that, but I wouldn't trade it for the world."

"I'm sorry it happened."

"It's okay." Remus turned to look at him briefly. He had to tear his eyes away from Sirius in order to not cause a road accident. The look he offered him was one of pure understanding and compassion. He could have stared at him for hours on end.

"It's your turn to ask," Sirius announced quietly.

"Oh, right." he had forgotten about the game, but the question instantly popped up in his mind. "Your brother."

"What about him?"

"Uh… how is he?"

"Right now? I wouldn't know."

"No… in life. How did you two get along? How was he?"

Sirius sighed, "Regulus… he's, well, we used to get along fine when we were kids. Then Walburga began making it clear he was the favourite son in order to drive him away from my rebellious ways, I supposed," he said it with a hint of irony. "It worked a bit too well." his tone became more guarded. "He turned his back on me and never looked back. I always wished more for him. I thought it would have been us against the world. I suppose I was wrong."

"I'm sorry," was all Remus could think of saying.

"Don't be." Sirius smiled sweetly.

Remus had already driven enough for a lifetime. Ha. Get it?

Anyway, he was happy to never have to touch a steering wheel again. Once he parked James' car outside his flat, things became real. The time he spent with Sirius inside a vehicle rarely felt real. It was as if they were stuck in a timeless place, it was just them for hours on end and the outside world did not exist save for the scenery they passed by.

The way back to his house was the most peaceful trip yet. They spent the entire time talking and telling each other about the most minuscule details of their lives. Remus would tell something unimportant and uninteresting, and Sirius would pretend it's the most fascinating thing in the world. Remus did the same, of course, but he actually thought everything that came out of the other's mouth was truly fascinating.

The more he learned about Sirius, the less he felt like he knew him. The stories he picked to tell about his days at school with James and Lily only reminded him of the other dozen ones he'd never get to hear. The bunch of spontaneous comments he made while talking only reminded him of the other million he'd never get to hear.

Arriving home only reminded him that he'd never get to leave it again.

"Are you sure about this?" Remus had his hand on the doorknob as he looked back at Sirius, waiting to spot unsure looks of regret.

"Of course I am. Or are you thinking of kicking me out?"

"Never."

And with that, Remus opened the door to his flat. It hadn't been locked, after all, he had no key.

Thankfully, the flat looked the exact same as it had been left. The radio still played, reminding him of how fast he had left. Remus walked to it and turned it off, finding Sirius' tape still sitting next to it. He picked it up and slid it inside his trouser's pocket.

"Do you have a phone?" Sirius asked from the other side of the room.

"Yes, right there." he pointed at the table against the wall. "B—"

"Great." Sirius smiled excitedly, cutting him off before he had the chance to warn him about the chances of the phones working.

Sirius picked it up and began dialling. Remus figured he was calling James to tell him everything was alright. For his sake, he wished it would work.

The disappointed and confused look on Sirius' face told him it was failing.

"The line's dead," Sirius announced. "Is there something wrong?"

"I don't think phones are working right now, Padfoot. The government probably shut it down." Remus carefully went to stand by his side.

"What? Why would they do that? People have to call their families!"

"I suppose the workers must have left."

He was still clutching the phone.

"But… h—how am I supposed to call James, then?"

"I… don't think you can."

Sirius' furrowed brows made Remus' heart clench.

"No, c'mon." he held the phone up and tried dialling once again. "This piece of shite has to work. Maybe the line's busy."

"Who else would be calling James at this hour?" Remus tried to reason.

"I… I don't know." Sirius' grip on the phone softened, and Remus noticed the shift in his poise.

He took a step forward and took the phone in his hand carefully, setting it back where it was. His other hand travelled to Sirius' cheek, which he stroked softly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Sirius didn't say anything, but leant into his touch. Remus was caught by surprise with a hug. It wasn't bone-crushing or anything, but it enveloped him fully and fiercely.

He stroked Sirius back with one hand while the other was buried in his soft hair.

"D'you think he knows I'm okay?" Sirius asked after some time.

"I think so," he answered honestly.

James was wiser than one would suspect at first glance. He had boyish ways despite being a father, and at times didn't seem like the wisest of people. However, underneath all that, Remus could tell he knew more than he'd let on. If he didn't, Sirius probably wouldn't have gone to find Remus.

They stayed like that for a long time. Remus couldn't tell exactly how long, but his limbs started to ache and soon enough Sirius let go. He looked a little better, at least.

"Do you want some tea?" he offered.

"I'd love it," he smiled weakly as he brushed off some of the hair on his face.

Remus reluctantly let go of him entirely and headed to the kitchen to prepare the tea. It was the middle of the night and he could use an energy booster. It was one of those moments where nothing seemed real, be it because of the hour of the day or because of the danger looming closer. Yet, he took his time doing everything carefully and with no rush.

His tea wasn't the best. A thought of the fancy labels Sirius was probably used to rushed through his mind. His cuppa probably tasted like arse in comparison.

"It's probably worse than what you're used to," he warned as he handed him the cuppa.

"I don't need that expensive crap. I'm a man of the people," he joked. "Besides, if it's prepared by you, it's probably the best one I'll ever have."

"You're talking right out of your arse." Remus smiled. He held his cup up in a sign of "cheers" and they both drank it.

"Just as I suspected," said Sirius after a few sips. "The best fucking tea in the world." He set the cup on the table with force.

"Yeah, right." Remus arched a lazy eyebrow.

"You're lucky you never had my mum's tea. She never made it, but she always managed to buy from the worst brands possible."

"Maybe you do have a common man's palate," he said sarcastically.

"Right?" Sirius didn't really catch on, which made Remus snort. "I'm serious."

"And I'm Remus."

"God," he visibly cringed. "Not that joke."

Remus knew it was awful and that he had probably heard it a thousand times, but it still made him double up with laughter. His reaction got a few annoyed chuckles from Sirius.

"You're insufferable," Sirius said.

"You're lucky you're pretty." he grinned.

They spent the next few minutes talking aimlessly about nothing and everything at the same time. They joked some more, which Remus found out to be a delightful dynamic to have with Sirius. He was funny without intention, which only made it more endearing.

Once they finished drinking, he set aside the cups never to be washed. There was much to do and nothing to do at the same time, which left them in a very odd limbo of sorts.

Remus went back to the living room with that thought in mind when he saw Sirius staring at the stereo he had in the corner.

"Can I ask you a question?" he turned around ever so slightly as to glance at Remus.

"Of course."

"Did you read it?" the glint of humour had left his manner, leaving behind only nervousness and anxiety, which Remus noticed by the way his shoulders were tense.

He involuntarily smiled as he remembered the sweet words in Sirius' tracklist. "Yes."

"I wasn't very stable when I wrote it." Remus could tell he was honestly embarrassed.

"I loved it," he announced loud enough as to not leave any doubt.

"Really?" Sirius' shoulders relaxed. He seemed genuinely surprised.

"Obviously. If I hadn't, would I have gone back?"

Sirius finally turned around to meet him. He thought about his answer for a split second before shrugging and refusing to meet his eyes. "I don't know."

Remus failed to contain his smile. Sirius smiled back.

"And have you listened to it?" he finally looked up at Remus.

"No, I didn't get a chance to." he stared at his feet. "I found out about… you know… before I got a chance to. I had to get back."

Sirius smiled, "that's a noble cause."

"Want to do it now?"

Sirius' smile grew as he nodded shyly.

"I don't know what went through my mind when I wrote that." Sirius hid half of his face with his hand as he went red from laughter and shame.

"Now that's one tacky song." Remus laughed as Air Supply's Making Love Out of Nothing at All finally came to an end.

"It's still good though, I'll admit it."

Remus smiled at him for a second before shrugging and nodding. "I guess it's sweet."

"'Guess?' It is! I should have known you wouldn't appreciate it."

"I do! It's tooth-achingly sweet, that's all."

"Just like me." he grinned innocently.

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves."

Remus couldn't stop looking at him. Sirius sat on the sofa with his legs stretched out on top of his lap. He definitely seemed tired, but it somehow made him even more beautiful.

The Buzzcocks' noisy Ever Fallen in Love played as they simply looked at each other. No words were spoken.

Half-way through the song, Remus broke the silence,

"You shouldn't have fallen in love with me?" he referred to the lyrics with a cocked eyebrow.

Sirius looked to the side, but his smile didn't falter. "At the time I thought so. Now I don't. I… thought you wouldn't want anything to do with me."

"And did you have that thought when I pulled you closer in that bathroom or when I had my mouth on y—"

"Shut up," he laughed. "You know when."

This time, Remus' smile fell a little. "I'm sorry for being an arse."

"You've already apologised."

"But you deserve so much better," he said before he could control himself.

"I could say the same thing about you."

"I cannot think of someone better," said Sirius with conviction.

"Neither can I." Remus smile grew.

"It's settled, then."

Remus squeezed his ankle and drew soothing circles around the exposed skin there as they quietly listened to Beautiful Boy. That one clearly affected Sirius, who stared off into the distance, probably thinking about Harry. Remus reached for his hand, which Sirius held on to gladly.

The next track was an instrumental one, Ladyfingers. Remus looked at the tracklist and blushed the moment he read what Sirius had written about it.

"That's the way you feel when you think of me?"

"I knew you were going to comment on that one." Sirius avoided his gaze and smiled nervously.

The song had tender trumpets and a calming presence that Remus hadn't felt in months. It was sweet and clear in its message, even though it didn't contain any messages. Somehow, he understood exactly what Sirius had meant and felt incredibly flattered by it.

"Well, do you?"

"I wrote it, didn't I?"

Remus took his hand away from Sirius' ankle, which made him turn his head to look at what was happening, perhaps scared of Remus' sudden reaction. He wasn't mad, quite the contrary, and scooted closer to Sirius, hand going for his jaw.

"It's true. You are impossibly sweet," he whispered.

Sirius smiled, "told ya."

Remus leant in for a kiss, something he could do until he died. Before that day, the times he had kissed Sirius were rushed and fuelled by alcohol. There was always the underlining presence of a lie, be it the one regarding Gideon or the one he told himself about not caring about Sirius.

Now, however, he was there, body and soul, nothing standing in his way. He languidly kissed Sirius with the utmost patience in the world, as if they had all the time they needed.

The music continued playing and they couldn't care less. Remus didn't even register what songs were playing as he ran his hands through Sirius' warm body.

Suddenly, Sirius held his face between his hands and pulled them apart.

"Is there something wrong?" Remus asked.

"N—no… it's just that, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"I want us to pretend everything's fine. Can we, like, not talk about it? Can we just pretend we're a normal couple living a normal day and that next week we'll get to travel back to Scotland to see James, Lily and Harry? We could, uh, also pretend we have plans for tomorrow. Maybe dinner?"

Remus' melancholia hit him hard at that exact moment. He stroked Sirius' face with the back of his index finger softly. "I know a very good restaurant just around the corner. It's not to your posh taste, but I think you'll like it."

Sirius smiled gloomily. "I told you I have a common man's palate."

Remus answered with a kiss.

One last time, Remus gets to explore every inch of Sirius. He doesn't take it for granted, making sure to memorise every single detail and curve possible.

Somehow, tiredness doesn't get to them. Maybe it's fear, maybe it's euphoria. Either way, he gets giddier by the hour.

When the Sun rises, Remus is actually caught by surprise. He had been in darkness for such a long time that now it was odd to see the day in its sunny glory.

"What's your favourite film?" Sirius asked, sitting on the counter watching Remus prepare yet another cup of tea.

"The Graduate," he answered quickly.

"I've never seen it."

"You should, it's a masterpiece."

"Do you have it on VHS?" Sirius looked genuinely interested, something that unexpectedly made Remus' heart beat faster.

"Actually, I do."

"Let's watch it, then. Or do you have any other plans?"

"I pretty sure my day's clear." he handed Sirius his cup.

"Perfect," he said, before stealing a kiss and going straight for the sofa.

Remus had watched the film so many times that watching Sirius facial expressions throughout its entire runtime was much more interesting. He laughed at odd moments and cringed at the right ones. It was delightful.

"I can see why it's your favourite," he observed the moment the credits started rolling.

"How?"

"You were just like Dustin Hoffman when I first met you. Angry, hating yourself… no offence."

Remus laughed, "none taken. It's true."

"You did come running back to me, so that's another thing in common."

"But do you know what's the difference between us?"

"What?"

"I don't regret it. Not at all. Not one bit. I think going after you was the smartest thing I've ever done, and I pride myself on being very bright. In the last scene after they run away from the wedding, they're euphoric until they realise the way they doomed themselves. I just can't get past the euphoric stage."

"Now look who's being sweet..."

"It's true."

"I sure hope it is."

The rest of the day was spent lounging on the bed, kissing lazily in every corner, and sharing secrets no one else would ever get to hear.

Eventually, sleep got to Remus. It loomed closer throughout the entire day, but after the sunset, it became harder to ignore. He couldn't be sure of what time it was. They hadn't been keeping track of time on purpose.

At times, he found himself forgetting what was to come. It was freeing.

They were sprawled out of the bed, limbs tangled, talking through soft caresses as Sirius' tape played again. Remus could listen to it every day and he'd never get tired.

"I was definitely meant to meet you," he said groggily.

"That's pretty gay."

Remus laughed, "fuck off."

He didn't want to close his eyes. Fuck, not at all. Remus fought against exhaustion, but it came to him in waves that were getting harder and harder to ignore.

"I'm going to take you to a Buzzcocks concert one of these days," Sirius said, sounding almost as tired as Remus felt. "I bet they remember me."

"You're pretty hard to forget, I must say."

"And you're not so bad yourself."

Remus brushed Sirius' hair away from his face carefully.

"I've never met anyone quite like you."

"I'm not that special."

"Bollocks."

Remus' heavy eyelids made themselves present once again. It seemed as though his body was fighting against him.

"Moony," Sirius whispered, his tone changing completely. It sounded frail, and well, scared.

"What's wrong?" he shifted to look at him properly.

"I don't want to fall asleep." Sirius' voice trembled.

Remus scooted impossibly closer to him. "Me neither."

"Please, don't fall asleep. Don't leave me alone."

Remus' heart plummeted. "I won't, I promise. I'm here."

He tried being reassuring by softly brushing Sirius' hair with his fingers. They laid in silence for what could have been fifteen minutes or three hours.

"I'm so happy I got to meet you," Sirius said, his voice betraying him but sounding slightly more put together.

"I think you're the best thing that could have possibly happened to me," he admitted.

With soothing words, Remus found himself drifting off to sleep practically against his will. He was wrapped around Sirius, whose fast-beating heart could be easily felt.

To be immersed in him made it all so, so much easier.

He thought about going to dinner with Sirius the next day, about the concert he talked about, and everything they'd get to do.

The End.