Sammy was sitting on the porch early the next morning by herself watching the sunrise. The sky was alight with vibrant color and the sun was peaking its weary head over the horizon, climbing out of the comfort of night to shine down on everyone that had lived to see another day. Sammy wondered how many more sunrises she had left in her life. She wasn't even sure how many more she wanted. It seemed like life was just one tragedy after another and hope was the only reason to keep pushing on. Some days she would be so full of hope that she'd nearly burst at the seams. That day she was entirely drained. The only comfort in her heart was the vain hope that Bee was still alive somewhere and that Sammy could save her.

Chasing a ghost, they had said. She'd rather chase a ghost than be haunted by not even trying.

She leaned forward against the railing, which was much more sturdy than it used to be because of all the work Lee had been doing on the house. The night sounds were fading into early morning chirps and and tweets. The air was warm and a chilly breeze blew over the yard, rattling the dead bushes that separated Sammy's house from Lee's. He was probably going to start renting it out soon. He spent all of his time with her, anyway.

She was grateful for that and for him. He had done a lot to help her deal with the transition into the life of a mercenary. She wouldn't go as far as to call herself one though; not yet. Maybe not ever. She was mostly the in-between guy for potential job offers and Barney. She did tattoos and made her art and took calls and learned how much money a life was worth. It didn't bother her. She felt like it should have, but it didn't. All of it was just one big room to bounce around in like her entire life had been. Bee being presumed dead was another crack in the wall letting light shine through. There was purpose on the other side of the wall. A reason.

Or maybe it was just hellfire. Sammy didn't care. She'd burn the world to the ground to keep the people she loved safe, and now she had a way to do it. A way and a will. It was only a matter of time before the cracks tore down the entire cage and she flew free, like a phoenix from ashes.

The sky turned a lighter shade of blue, deeper near the horizon, bursting with orange light as the sun climbed higher from its resting place. She had to convince the team to believe her about Bee. They had to look into it. She had a feeling it was tied to the Major somehow. She couldn't explain it but she just knew she had to go with her gut. So what if it was just grief talking? At least chasing a ghost would be better than becoming one.

—-

Vietnam, 1970

The sun was rising the next morning and Barney rolled over on his sleeping bag. A few flies flew around his face and his nose scrunched up in response. He blew out a breath and waved his hand in front of his face with a groan. He knew he had to be up and ready to go before the sky was bright and blue but his dreams were good for once. The thought of pulling himself up and letting those dreams go and fade into the night didn't settle right in his chest. He wished he was home in a soft bed so he could keep sleeping and dreaming. Then he heard a gun click and load and his eyes shot open out of instinct.

Conrad was looking down at him with his eyebrows raised. Barney lifted a hand to cover his eyes and squinted.

"Rise and shine," Conrad said, giving him a weak kick in the ribs. "I already let you sleep in. Figured an ugly son of a bitch like you could use some beauty sleep."

Barney grunted and let out a huff as he pulled himself up to his feet. His face was caked in drying mud, his clothes wrinkled from rolling around in his sleep. He tried to shake off the images from his dreams that were still replaying in his mind but it was difficult. They were all of Lucie, and he wanted to carry those images with him. He always saw a lot of ugly shit in the jungle. Having the fantasy of her might help him maintain whatever was left of his sanity.

"Takes one to know one, pal," Barney said, stretching out his joints as he stood. He knelt back down to roll up his sleeping bag.

"Let's go end this shit," Conrad said, adjusting some straps on his gear. Barney spared him a glance and shook his head. Conrad was a very straightforward, steadfast guy. He had a lot of hard opinions and a way he saw his life going that wasn't up for debate. He saw what he wanted and he took it. Barney's brows sunk over his eyes as he considered this. Maybe it was good they were leaving that basecamp. Maybe it would be for the best that neither of them ever saw Lucie again. If she was just a sweet, happy memory, then Barney couldn't possibly mess it up, and Conrad couldn't possibly stick his nose where it didn't belong. But for some reason Barney was discontent with Lucie just being a memory. She demanded so much more than that. She was a presence; she was everything. Every freckle was a star and every color a conductor of light. Every bump, curve, or indent was just the landscape of her body and soul. Barney knew that she would always demand to be more than just a memory, but he also knew that he would have to leave it at that anyway. He was a soldier and he had his duty.

Sometimes he really hated it.

Barney hefted his pack over his soldiers and plopped his helmet on his head. The straps hung down along his cheeks and swayed with every movement. Conrad had turned away for a moment to give somebody else shit for once. Barney and him were practically brothers, and even though they could be at each other's throats, Barney still had a lot of love for him. He'd take a bullet for the guy, or maybe even give his life for him, and he was confident that Conrad would do the same. He knew he wouldn't have made it through everything so far without Stonebanks at his side. It was a debt he'd never be able to repay, but that debt went both ways. Did that make them even? Did equal debt cancel everything out?

It was stupid to think about. Barney felt like he'd owe the guy for the rest of his life no matter what and he knew that for sure. He was still pretty young, but he'd been through his fair share of problems. If he hadn't had Conrad to reign him in when he joined the army he realized he might've been long dead in a ditch somewhere. His boots crunched in the mud and he sighed, loading his gun with a loud, sudden click. It was the soundtrack of his life, the loading of a gun. The exchanging of bullets and bombs. He wished it was different; maybe the sound of Lucie laughing, or the numb ringing that he heard in his ears when he would catch her smiling. He didn't know her long; he didn't really know her at all, actually. But she was something special. She took life by force. She saw what she wanted and she got it with no remorse. He wanted to know everything about her. He'd have to make it back alive in order to do that. He wondered again when the damn war would be over so he could take her to dinner for real, back in the states, in whatever city or state she decided to call home.

"Alright, Ross," Conrad said, slapping his shoulder and giving him a shake. "Check your purse? Got everything you need?"

Barney shrugged him off. "Yeah, yeah," he said. His mind was still elsewhere. His memories froze on the way Conrad had looked at her last night beside the fire.

"How's that arm treating you?" Conrad asked, his voice evening out in that way it had when he was done putting on a show. The man had a habit of peacocking. He was all personality. All bark and no bite. Well, no- maybe moderate bite. He could shoot a gun.

"No worse," Barney said honestly. He rolled his shoulder and tried not to think of Lucie standing so close to him, inspecting the wound.

"That's good," Conrad said. "Yeah, that's good."

They fell into step with the rest of their platoon. People whispered to each other, some talked freely, and most just looked down at the mud on their boots as they marched towards destruction.

"So, that Lucie chick," Conrad said suddenly, adjusting his grip on the gun slung across his chest. "She's something, isn't she?"

Barney glanced sidelong at him and considered this. Was Conrad reading him, or was he looking for an opinion for himself? Neither one sat right with Barney. He wanted something to be his own for once, like his own thoughts or feelings.

"She seems nice," Barney said. He cringed at himself when he heard it echo in his mind.

"Well, yeah," Conrad said, sighing into the humid jungle air. The corners his lips twitched upwards a little bit. Barney took note. "I don't think I've ever met a woman like her."

"Sure you have," Barney said, turning his attention to his march. "She's strong and confident. There's plenty of them."

There was more he wanted to say, but he felt like a bit of a creep already. Conrad practically had hearts in his eyes.

"That's not what I mean," he said. "She's just different."

Barney wanted to admit that he felt the same way but he knew it would be the beginning of a wedge between them both, and he needed his friend for this endless hell.

"Not like it matters," Conrad said, interrupting his thoughts and giving him a meaningful nudge with his elbow. "We might be dead men anyway, right?"

Barney met his eyes and scoffed after a second. "Right," he said.

They trudged along into the muddy foothills of Vietnam, guns held tight to their chests, fingers hovering over the triggers. He couldn't help but think about Lucie back at basecamp working tirelessly in that makeshift hospital. He imagined the gel in her hair cracking from the frizz and her cheeks turning warm and rosy from the heat. He imagined her by the fire, and he wondered what it would feel like to hold her hand.

Probably better than holding the gun.

—-

Present Day

Lee rolled over in bed and patted Sammy's empty spot a few times before he sighed and sunk into his pillow. He really hated that she was so good at sneaking around him. He could hardly remember the last time she had woken him up by climbing out of bed before he did.

He couldn't tell what time it was because the blinds were closed and the curtains were drawn tight. His head felt foggy and over-rested, which was a feeling he didn't happen upon often. He took a second to breathe in the smell of Sammy's hair on her pillow before he lifted himself up to stretch out his back.

The clock next to the bed said it was early morning, just after sunrise. Sammy had slept off her initial grief for most of yesterday and Lee had napped and waited around for the other shoe to drop. If Bee was dead, then she was dead, and that wouldn't go over well. If Bee wasn't dead, then she wasn't dead, and that would bring hell alight on earth. Sammy was a tough woman and he had learned to never doubt her skills as a mercenary just because of her past. After all, people got into the business at every age for any number of reasons. Lee found his Expendables tattoo on his arm and traced over the lines with his fingers. The thing was years old but still had some gentle bumps around the thickest lines. That symbol was everything to him. It defined his entire identity. It was the border of his life. He expected to die expendable, but Sammy changed that. He didn't want to die. He was actively starting to avoid it, actually.

He heard the front door knock shut and pulled himself to the edge of the bed. The covers fell from around his legs as his feet met the floor. He stretched his arms above his head and rolled his neck. His mouth tasted like sleep. He was about to stand when Sammy pushed open the bedroom door and took him by surprise.

"Oh!" She said, clutching one hand over her heart and gripping the door knob with the other. "I didn't expect you to be awake."

He stood and wrapped his arms around her waist. She was slim, strong, and sunk into him as he pulled her close. Her hands settled on the back of his neck and he drew in a breath, inhaling the scent of her hair and skin. She smelled like the outside.

"You either," he said against her neck.

"I slept most of yesterday away," she said, pulling back slightly and meeting his eyes. "I still feel the same, you know. Nothing changed."

Lee sighed. He was going to wait to ask her about Bee, but she didn't seem to like dancing around the hard stuff anymore. He traced his thumb along the outline of her ribs and tilted his head, studying her.

"And it's just a feeling?" Lee asked.

"Don't pretend like you haven't done more with less," she said. She was looking at him with those big, desperate eyes. The same ones that she'd looked at him with when Riley was dying, or when she was so hurt and lost that she didn't know what to do. He didn't want to push her away or cause anymore problems. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"I know," he said. "We'll talk to the team about it. We'll decide together like we always do."

Sammy nodded and let her head rest against his for a moment. She wasn't sure how she would convince them to believe her. She wasn't being irrational, she knew that if she were on the opposite side of things she'd probably feel the same as Barney did about it all. There was just too much going on and too much left unanswered for her to ignore anymore. If Bee was in trouble, it would be because of her connection to Sammy, and of that she was positive. Even if Bee was dead, as much as Sammy hated to admit it, at least she would find closure. She could lay Bee to rest in her mind beside Riley and her grandmother as people she loved that moved on without her. She'd see them again. She had to believe that.

She pulled back from Lee and scratched at her loose hair. She wondered what Bee would've thought about the chop. She probably would've found something to tease Sammy over but then admit that she liked it. Sammy tried to remember the little facts about Bee that she'd gathered over the course of basic. She had four brothers, a big happy family, and no idea what she wanted for her future. She liked art but didn't really understand it. She'd ask Sammy questions about why a blank white canvas could be art and sell for millions of dollars. Sammy would always do her best to explain, but sometimes she didn't have the best answers.

Bee really liked to climb. She killed it on obstacle courses and would dare anybody she could to race her up a tree. Sammy always watched from the bottom, squinting against the burning hot sun, as Bee won the race. Bee was a winner, and she had so much life ahead of her left to live. Sammy didn't feel like she deserved to still be breathing when so many better people had died before her. She'd give up her spot on solid ground for Riley in an instant; and if Bee really was dead, she'd give it up for her, too.

"Wanna shower?" Lee asked, running his fingers softly over her back. "Then we can head over to the shop."

Sammy swallowed and thought back to what she had said to Tool. She wasn't ready to apologize because she knew that she meant it. Even in all her grief and rage, she meant it. Tool had trusted the Major, who was now AWOL, and who had nearly cost everyone involved their lives. She wanted to know what had made Tool trust him in the first place. How didn't he have the slightest clue?

"Sure," she said, stepping away and towards the bathroom. Lee's fingers loosely held onto hers as he followed.

If he was being honest, he thought the letter was the truth. Soldiers died all the time. Bee didn't have a lot of experience, and all it would've taken was just one slip up. He didn't know how to tell Sammy without hurting her. He just settled for loving her while she was there in his arms and dealing with the consequences later.

The water was warm and Lee was warmer. Sammy tried not to think about the Expendables not wanting to help. All they'd ever done was help her. She knew she'd have to look for Bee either way, but going off on her own would make it a whole lot more difficult. Lee kissed her shoulder and she sighed happily. Life was always good until it wasn't.

—-

Barney was leaning against the wall and looking around the room with his arms crossed over his chest. Tool was examining the rings on his fingers and Caesar was mid-conversation with Toll. Gunner was staring aimlessly down between his feet, hair hanging in tufts around his face. The scar on his cheek caught the light and Barney tried not to think about where he had gotten it from. Yang was leaning against the opposite wall and looking at the ceiling.

Barney was itching to shoot something or fly his plane or smoke his entire supply of cigars. The flashbacks were coming sporadically, like they usually did, but they were as vivid as always. He never admitted to having them, but on occasion his knuckles would go white as he gripped his gun and his eyes would glaze over and the other men knew. They didn't have to ask. He appreciated that they never brought it up, though. Except for Lee. He wondered if the guys talked about him when he left a room the way they all conferred about Sammy. They only wanted what was best for her, and what was best for her was being happy and living. It was a simple goal but surprisingly difficult to maintain.

Lee and Sammy wandered in then, hand-in-hand, and Barney met Lee's eyes with a silent question.

How is she?

Lee glanced to his side and watched her, his grip tightening just slightly on her hand as she lead him to the group.

Determined.

Barney settled his head back against the wall and sighed. He remembered her punching that bag in the gym for hours. She was something else, that was for sure. But she had come a long way from who she was when he had first met her. He reminded her of someone else from a long time ago. He tried to shake the thought, but it was there as clear as day. Lee reminded him of himself, too. Enamored and desperate. He really hated to admit that, but it was the truth.

"So," Barney said, pulling himself from the wall and spreading his feet apart like a soldier, "we have some things to discuss."

His eyes held Sammy's stare and she didn't falter. He made note of that.

"We do," she said, and her voice was strong and reasonable. She knew he was paying attention to every little thing she did. They could read body language as fluently as anything else. She let Lee's hand fall from her own and she mimicked Barney's stance: feet shoulder-width apart, arms crossed, chin up.

"Do you feel any differently than yesterday?" Barney asked, but he already knew the answer. Lee was watching him carefully, knowing that this situation was a ticking time bomb for the both of them. He was suddenly worried that he'd be stuck between two people he really loved. Barney was his brother in every sense of the word except for genetic, but Sammy was his life. Barney was past and Sammy was future. They tried to make room for each other in the present, but Lee was watching them begin to fail at that right before his eyes.

"No," Sammy said stiffly, breaking their eye contact to glance around the room at everyone else. "Yesterday morning I opened a letter that said a friend of mine from basic is dead. It had no return address, no other information, but both of our call names were included."

"And?" Caesar asked, listening carefully.

"She isn't dead," Sammy said. The group shifted and most glanced towards Lee. He kept his head up, trying not to reveal anything, since he knew they'd take his word for it over hers. That's just how the team worked.

"Why do you think that?" Yang asked, curious.

"I feel it," Sammy said, meeting his eyes. "This is a red herring. I know it."

"For what?" Barney asked suddenly, taking a step towards her. "I'm not following, Sammy."

"For the Major. He saw her at basic. He knew her. He knew everybody I was with all of the time. He had files on it all. He knows we're hunting him and he needs us to stop."

"So you want us to do exactly what he wants?" Barney asked, shaking his head. "No. We don't stop. We don't stop until we find him and take him out."

"He'll get his," Sammy said, straightening herself even more. "But Bee is my friend. She was my team. If he's using her, then finding her will help us find him."

"That's exactly what he wants you to think," Barney said, waving his hand and shaking his head. "This is a nonstarter, Sammy."

She felt her face drain slightly of color. Anger was collecting in her throat and it burned like bile. She tried to collect herself, but her voice still shook. She spoke anyway.

"You don't know her. If this was any one of you, there'd be no question about it. You'd be halfway to hell already," she said.

"You're right. We don't know her. But we know you, Sammy, and we want to keep you safe. You're apart of this team now. We function as a team," Barney said.

The others shared a few looks. Lee seemed torn. He didn't want Sammy to get in any deeper than she already was, but he knew that holding her back would just catapult her forward. He scratched at his stubble and chewed on the inside of his cheek. He knew he would have to make a decision by the end of this meeting. It felt like a much bigger decision than it seemed on the surface.

"That's why I'm asking for your help," Sammy tried. "I need you to have faith in me. Bee is alive."

"The only evidence we have is this letter, and the letter says she's dead," Barney said. "Sometimes things are exactly as they seem."

Sammy felt tears prickling in her eyes and she fought them. She was trying to think of something else to say, something to convince them all, but she was falling short. She opened her mouth to speak but promptly snapped it shut and clenched her teeth.

"We need to put our time and resources into finding the Major and taking him out for what he did. I've been in this business a long time, Sammy," Barney said with a sigh, "and if we spend all of our time chasing ghosts, it'll come back and bite us real hard in this ass."

"I can't just let her be dead," Sammy said.

Lee pinched the bridge of his nose and propped his other hand on his hip. He knew he was on Barney's side. It would be better, safer, for Sammy to stay on track with the real end goal.

"Sometimes that's all people are," Barney said. "Dead and gone. You can't fight that fact to try and make up for past mistakes with your sister, or with-"

"This is not about Riley," Sammy snapped, and her eyes shone suddenly as the tears threatened to spill. "Riley is dead and gone. Riley is buried. If I wanted to make things up to her, there are about a million ways I could be doing that right now. But I'm not. Because Riley is dead. Bee is not dead."

Barney bit his cheek. He knew he was treading on thin ice mentioning Riley. He felt Lee's eyes burning a hole in his head for it, too.

"Of course it's about Riley," Barney said, gripping his hips and shaking his head. "It's always about the people we couldn't save. Always."

"Why does that mean we shouldn't look for Bee?" Sammy retorted, taking a step towards him. Lee twitched at this, fighting the urge to reach out and grab her arm to hold her back. This was her game, though. Intervening would only do more harm. He swallowed and tried to blink and clear his head.

"Because you have to learn when to leave dead, dead," Barney snapped. "You're apart of this team now, Gogh. We function as a unit. Sometimes dying is just that. Dying. It happens to everyone eventually. I'm sorry you lost your friend, but she's gone, Sammy, and we have to focus on the mission at hand."

Sammy tightened her jaw and kept her eyes locked on his. She needed this. She needed to find Bee. She needed answers.

"All in favor of going after Bee?" Barney asked, losing her eyes as he looked around the room. Sammy looked down at her feet, not wanting to feel the rush of pain that would come with all of her friends not believing her.

When she eventually looked up, she met Caesar's eyes first. He had his arms crossed and he shrugged. He looked sad, but he didn't budge. Then Toll. He just watched her, his eyes exploring her face, his own expression hard and stone cold. Then Gunner. That one hurt a little bit. He was looking at her through his messy hair, his expression flat and unreadable. Sammy felt a tear slip from her eye and she turned. Yang shrugged.

"Sorry, Sammy," he said softly.

Tool was watching her carefully. They found each others eyes and he took note of the fire burning behind hers. He glanced back at Barney and then sighed. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus her breathing.

Then she looked up at Lee.

He was watching her with a strained look on his face. Of course he wanted to help her. He wanted her to be happy and okay and safe. He shrugged up his shoulders and shoved his hands into his pockets. She furrowed her brows, hurt, and shook her head.

"Sammy…" Lee started, but she turned back to Barney with black, deadly eyes. He blinked and waited.

She didn't say anything, though. She just turned again and left. Barney met Lee's eyes, but for the first time in forever, Lee looked away. He couldn't hold that stare for once. Barney knew he was close to losing his second-in-command, but they weren't there yet. Lee was still an Expendable, and he knew what he had to do.

"Shit," Caesar said, scratching the back of his neck. "I feel like we all just fucked up."

Gunner pushed himself towards the door and left. He was shaking. He wanted to drink or use, or maybe both, but he had been doing so well. Getting put in that position didn't help things. Barney watched him go but didn't say anything.

"She'll get over it," Barney said. "We need to focus on one thing at a time."

"You shouldn't have brought up Riley," Lee said suddenly, and everyone snapped their attention towards him.

Barney sighed and settled back into his hips. He knew it was a cold move, but it was what he felt was the truth. She was clinging so hard to something she lost and that was how people got killed.

"It's the truth, isn't it?" Barney asked.

"Maybe for you," Lee said. His words were sharp and pointed. Barney felt them pierce all of the armor he had built up around himself. He couldn't remember another time where Lee had managed to do that.

"Decision is made," Barney said cooly, looking around the room. "We keep looking for the Major. We take him down."

Tool twisted his rings over his fingers. He knew all too well how right Lee was. In truth, he wanted to say yes to Sammy, and not just to repair their shaky relationship. He wanted to say yes because something about the entire situation felt off. He had handed her that letter, so maybe he felt sort of responsible for it, but he had also handed her the Major. He ran his fingers through his hair and headed to the door. He needed some space. Maybe a smoke and some time alone. He damn well needed to stop thinking about this whole mess for just five seconds.

Barney watched them all leave until it was just him and Lee left. He didn't say anything. Like every other time, they didn't really need words. Saying yes to Sammy would have avoided a lot of pain, but he dealt in pain. His life was pain; both inflicting and bearing. He wouldn't make any apologies for who he was.

Lee looked like he was going to say something but he didn't. Barney wished he had. He felt like it was going to be important. Lee turned and left like all the rest, leaving Barney standing in the room alone with that heavy decision hovering around him. He had to do what was best for his team. This was it.

Or so he kept telling himself.

—-

Sammy knew there was one place they would never look for her and she headed straight there. She was sitting at the breakfast bar looking down at a heart attack on a plate and thinking about when she had served Lee his breakfast so long ago. It felt like another lifetime entirely. She didn't eat. She just examined the food and thought about Bee and tried to ignore the nagging feeling in her gut that all of this was wrong.

She knew she was different now. She knew that the Expendables weren't sure how wild of a card she was capable of being yet. She also knew that she didn't need them. She had proven that to herself before.

She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts. She wondered how angry they would all be at her for going behind their backs, but she didn't care. She was furious with them all now. Even Lee, who at the end of the day, was mercenary first and neighbor second. She couldn't fault him for that. She was still hurt by it, though.

She clicked on the name and held the phone up to her ear. It rang three times before there was an answer.

"Hey," she said, staring down at her food and her balled up fist. She let out a breath. "I need your help."