Captain rolled over to her back on the floor next to her couch and her hand slipped from her stomach, knocking against the floor. Her eyes opened slowly and painfully, squinting against the light streaming in from the old warehouse windows. There were a few empty bottles of beer strewn about. Her leg twitched out and knocked one, sending it rolling across the room with a loud, descending sound. She sighed.

There was the noise of strangled snoring as the bottle knocked against the opposite wall. Captain dug the butts of her palms into her eyes until she was seeing spots. She let out a groan and slapped her hands down on either side of herself. After a second she could hear somebody padding into the room barefoot and she pulled herself up tiredly. She rested on her hands for support and looked down at the floor between her legs. She slept on the floor because everything else was too soft. Too comfortable. She had spent too much time at war to be able to sleep on a cushion.

"The hell was that?"

Captain huffed and motioned to the bottles around her. "It's this mess. You need to clean it."

"It's not just mine," Bones said, squatting beside Captain and shaking her head. She tangled her fingers together and rested her elbows on her knees. "It's yours too, you know."

Captain sighed again. She was tired. She just wanted to sleep and forget about the mess she had managed to get her team- her family- into. She knew she should've done more digging on the Major before signing up for his whole femme-fatale-mercenary-gang. But they needed the money, and the job paid well.

"How's she doing?" Captain asked, sparing Bones a careful look.

Bones tightened her jaw and shrugged. "Same as always."

Cap pulled herself to her feet and held out a hand to help Bones up. She took it, wincing slightly as she stood, and Cap made a face. She reached over and tugged Bones's shirt aside, exposing the healing scar on her shoulder from where she had been shot.

"Are you doing those exercises?" Cap asked, shooting her a glance.

"When I have time," Bones said.

"Which is never," Cap said.

Bones tugged her arm away and shook her head. She didn't care so much about her shoulder. It was Angel she cared about, who she gotten so close to losing. She remembered how scared she was watching them all press the life back into Angel's chest on the side of that river and she shuddered. It was an image she relived a lot in her dreams, almost nightly. Sometimes, when it would rain, the sound of the cars rushing through a puddle would send her right back to the jungle, and she'd have to gather herself and hide away for the rest of the day until the visions started to fade. Nothing had ever affected her like almost losing Angel.

"Bones," Cap said, her voice taking on that tone it usually only did in the field. "You have to make time for yourself."

"But I'm-"

"No," Cap said firmly, locking her eyes with Bones'. "It's not up for debate. If you want to get back out there and stand a chance, you need to be able to shoot."

"We need to find that son of a bitch first," Bones grumbled.

Cap sighed. They hadn't had any luck with locating the Major. Communication with the Expendables had been few and far between as time went on. She thought about Sammy a lot and wondered how she was faring. Last she saw her, she had been knocked out in a hospital room with Barney at her side. She had gotten word that she recovered well enough, and that was all she needed. Once Bones was cleared to leave the hospital, Cap set about finding them a place to stay while they waited for Angel. That's where they were still.

"We will, we will," Cap said, her voice a half-whisper. "We need to give it time."

"We need to go out there and dig," Bones argued.

"You know damn well we are not in any place to be doing that right now," Cap said, her voice rising slightly. She ran her fingers through her frizzy, messy curls and shook her head. "I'm not gonna say it again, Bones. Going out there right now is a death sentence."

Bones tightened her jaw but promptly nodded. They'd had the same fight countless times before. It wasn't worth the breath or time. And as much as she hated to admit it, Bones knew she was right. Cap was the only one in any physical condition to fight and they would need a lot of manpower to get to the bottom of this issue with the Major. After he went underground he effectively put the last nail in his own coffin. If there was any doubt about his involvement before, it was gone now. He'd sold them out. Bones wondered how much their lives were worth.

"How long are we supposed to wait?" Bones asked, crossing her arms protectively around herself.

"As long as it takes," Cap said. "I won't put you or Angel at risk."

"You can't do it by yourself," Bones said. "Not a chance."

"I didn't say that," Captain huffed, waving Bones away. A curl flicked over her forehead and she shoved it behind her ear. "But it's going to be a long time before Angel can be back out there with us. You know that."

Bones dropped her head and scratched at the back of her neck. She did know that. It was all a mess and she didn't know what to do. She hoped against all odds that their little trio would stay the same as it had always been, but her better judgement always won the battle.

"How are we gonna afford to stay here?" Bones asked. "If we don't take any jobs?"

"I'll handle it," Cap said. "Don't think about that right now. Just- just bring Angel her breakfast, alright?"

Bones met her eyes and popped her lips. She knew Captain didn't have a plan but she didn't say anything. She just trudged off towards the kitchen and left her behind.

Cap made her way to the window and braced herself against the sill. The city was pretty calm beneath her but it did nothing to still her nerves. They were running out of cash. Everything they had was funneled into Angel's treatment and it was nearly costing them an arm and a leg. She was family, though. Cap wasn't about to give up on family.

She tied her hair up into a loose bun and dropped her hands to her waist. She could call Barney and see if he had any new leads on the Major. She was getting desperate. There were probably some jobs in the area she could take, but she was a soldier; a mercenary. She wasn't good at anything else and didn't know any other way of life.

—-

Bones didn't spare Captain another glance as she moved through the living room and towards the bedroom where Angel was staying. She stood outside of her cracked door, focusing on her breathing and clutching the warm plate of food in her hands. There was a heavy pit in her stomach, the weight of which had been building since they first arrived at the hospital. She remembered fighting to be beside Angel despite her own wound. The gunshot to Angel's leg had been gnarly. Before she could really do or say anything, she was sedated and brought to surgery. When she woke up, everything was different.

She held her breath and pushed forward into Angel's room. The lights were off and she was laying under the covers.

"Hey," Bones said softly, sneaking closer. "I have breakfast. There's some eggs and toast, and I even made some sausage."

Angel grunted in response. Bones sighed and set the plate beside the bed on the nightstand and looked down at her.

"You have to eat if you want to get better," Bones said, her voice stiff and hard.

"What's the point?" Angel asked. She reached up a hand and brushed some hair from her face. It was greasy and collected in tufts around her head. She hadn't showered in a while.

"The point is that you can get better," Bones said, exhausted. "We've been through this, Angel. This doesn't have to be the end of the world."

"It might as well be," Angel snapped, tears beading in her eyes. "Who am I if I can't do this job, Bones?"

"You're you," Bones said. "That will never change for anything. Please, come on. Eat."

Angel sighed and stared forward with empty eyes. She knew that Bones and Cap would have better lives if they just left her. She was deadweight to them now. A burden. Something to look after when they already had to look over their shoulders all of the time.

"Even if I get better, that doesn't mean I'll ever be the same," Angel said softly. "I'll never be the same."

Bones sighed and sat beside her on the bed. "You won't be the same. You aren't the same. You're new. You'll find new ways to be you. Just because you can't be the old you doesn't mean that the new you is worthless. It isn't. You aren't."

Angel forced a sad smile onto her cheeks and reached up a weak hand to cup Bones' cheek. She traced her thumb along her cheek and Bones sighed into it and closed her eyes.

"Come on," Bones said, taking her wrist and pressing a kiss to the palm of her hand. "Let's make our rounds and then try to eat. You gotta do your exercise."

"I hate that thing," Angel groaned, her eyes watering and flicking around Bones' face.

"I know, but it's what we have," Bones said. "Come on, let me help you."

Angel flushed and tried to set aside her embarrassment. She hated that she needed help. She tugged herself up to a sitting position while Bones stood. It took her a second to build up to it, but after a moment she flung the covers back and looked down at her legs. She sighed.

Her left leg was missing its lower half. She didn't think she'd ever get used to seeing it gone.

—-

Then

Cap was standing in the waiting room with her thumbnail in her mouth. Her other arm was wrapped around her middle and her hand was squeezing her shirt. Her chest felt like it was about to explode. What if she lost them both? Who would she be without her family? She was in charge of them, responsible for them, and if they died? What did that make her?

More than a failure, for sure. She dropped her head and cradled her face in her hands. She was tired and afraid. So much more afraid than she would ever admit to being. Her curls were frizzy and wild and poked out through her fingers. She shuddered and hoped against hope that Bones would make it out of surgery and Angel would recover from the nasty bullet wound in her leg. She wanted to cry, but it seemed like she had forgotten how to.

"You look like you could use a friend."

She snapped her head up and turned, finding Barney standing and watching her. She tightened her jaw and swallowed. She didn't want to cry in front of him. She had known men like him in her lifetime. She wouldn't show weakness in front of him. She pushed her shoulders back and lifted her head slightly.

"I'm fine," she tried, but she felt lost behind the words. She wasn't fine. She needed her family. Bones and Angel. She needed to make it work.

"You're lying," Barney said, looking her up and down. "You don't lie well, Captain."

She flinched away from him. The tears were pressing at her eyes and she moved to push her fingers into them so that he wouldn't see. She felt like a mess. She was covered in dirt and sweat and her skin was layered in goosebumps from the hospital chill. Barney sighed and reached for her. He took her by the arm and she made to pull back, but he held tight and started pulling her out of the waiting room.

"What are you doing?" She asked, fighting him, glancing back at the rest of the Expendables sitting and waiting for Lee and Sammy and Angel and Bones.

He knocked open the door to the stairway and pulled her in. He waited for the door to fully close before he put his hands on his waist and looked her up and down.

"You need to let yourself feel this," he said, his voice low and dangerous.

"What?" She asked, confused. "Excuse me?"

"Your world is falling apart around you. Don't shut down. They're gonna need you."

Cap scratched at her neck, leaving irritated red lines in the wake of her nails. She tried to square herself off against him but her mind and body felt disconnected.

"They have to be okay," she said, low and deadly. "They have to be."

"Then they will be," he affirmed, looking her over. "You don't have to hide the pain."

She met his eyes and swallowed hard. They watched each other for a moment, their eyes hard and cold, until she finally let hers fall to the floor and a few ears bubbled over. Barney looked down at her, at her dirty curls trapped in a bun behind her head, at her tan skin stained with sweat and grease and dirt, and for the first time in years he thought of somebody he had tried to leave behind him. He pressed his lips together and reached out a tentative hand to her upper arm, hoping she wouldn't flinch away.

She didn't. The contact made her cry harder very suddenly. She slammed forward into his chest and he held her tight. Her arms crept up his back and balled up in his shirt and she wept for the future she was so petrified of. He pressed a hand to the back of her head and his brows fell heavy over his eyes. If he closed them, he could be transported back to another time and place entirely, and he felt cold inside suddenly.

"I'll kill him," Cap said, her words garbled by the wetness of her tears. Barney held her a little bit tighter.

"I know," he said. "Me too."

She cried for another few minutes before she grew silent and jerked away. She pawed at her cheeks and eyes until they were red and puffy but dry and hesitated to meet his again. His eyes were red rimmed with his own potential loss and the memories that were surging hard in his chest. He faltered, his mouth falling open and voice breaking through, though no words came out.

"Thanks," she said, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind her ear.

"It's all apart of the job," he said, almost confused. "Of course."

She nodded shyly and cleared her throat. If Bones didn't make it out of surgery, and if Angel didn't survive that bullet wound, everything she had to live for would be gone. Her life was them. They were her family. They were everything and all she had.

"I get it," he said, reading her mind. Her eyes flicked up to his and for the first time she could remember in her entire life, she saw somebody that understood her torment. Her pain. She was in charge of their lives and they would eagerly lay them down at her command, but the last thing she ever wanted was their blood on her hands. She'd lost a lot of people- too many. Her heart was dark with the grief she never dealt with and her soul was going dim. Barney's was as well. He always talked about being pitch black on the inside, but light shines brighter when it's framed by darkness. There was a little bit of light in there. Cap saw it. It made her curious, but it really wasn't the time or place.

She nodded once more and turned through the door to head back to the waiting room. Barney stood there alone in the stairwell and blinked. His eyes were focused down on the floor in front of him, where Captain had just been standing, but he felt like he had just seen a ghost. It wasn't that they looked the same. They really didn't. They felt the same, though. It made his hair stand on edge.

He coughed and scratched at his beard before he headed back out to the waiting room. Lee was looking for him, his wounds cleaned and tended to, and when he spotted him he hurried over with his jaw tight and brows knitted towards the center of his forehead. Barney let out a heavy breath and glanced over at Cap, who was already looking at him. He tightened his jaw and met Lee's eyes.

"How is she?" He asked, desperate, and his hands were almost shaking. "How's Sammy, Barns?"

Cap looked down at her hands and tried to focus on her own situation. She had enough money put away to take care of the three of them for a while. That was if Bones and Angel both made full recoveries. She sucked her thumbnail into her mouth and chewed on it absently. Maybe, if things didn't go well, she could find some kind of family with the Expendables. They were a good enough group. Sammy clearly liked and trusted them. Maybe they could overlook the fact that Cap had just had them all tied up in the jungle not long ago. Things like that happened in their line of work. Maybe they'd understand. She hoped they would.

She watched the doctors and nurses rushing by and turned her head to the window. The city was alive and thriving and bright. She wondered where the Major was.

She knew she would find him, sooner or later. He was living on borrowed time. She'd take it back.

—-

Captain was sipping her coffee and sitting by the window. She had spent the entire day sorting through old contacts and trying to find some kind of work to hold them over for a little bit longer. She didn't have many connections to the CIA so doing black-op jobs was out of the question. Most jobs required teams, too. She knew she'd be going in solo. That made her wonder about what they would do if she never came back. She dropped her head to her hands and groaned. She couldn't wait for the day she got her hands on the Major. She'd suck the life out of him herself. Too bad nobody with money wanted him dead.

She figured she could take some private security jobs. They paid well enough if she could get on the good side of some key people. The only problem was that she hated security. Most of the people there were ex-military or cops with god complexes that only thought they were good at their jobs. She had found something perfect with her team. She didn't want to spend her life chasing that perfection again.

Her phone started to buzz. She looked up, confused, and sniffed as she reached to check the caller-id. She made a face and looked around. She was alone.

"Yeah?" She asked. "This is Cap."

"Hey," the other end said as she pulled the phone to her ear. "I need your help."

Cap swallowed and closed her eyes. The familiar voice was nice. It brought her back to a time before this mess.

"Hey, Gogh," she said. She glanced back to the city and sucked in her cheek. "Of course. What can I do for you?"