Barney settled himself in his usual chair in Tool's shop. The rest of the guys, minus Gunner, were sitting in a circle and patiently waiting for something to happen. Lee sat to Barney's right, hunched over and shaking his knee while he thought about Sammy and Bee and Riley and everything that had changed his life in the last year. Toll sat next to Lee, his legs spread and hands dangling between them while he stared absently at the ground. Then there was Yang, who was standing behind his empty chair with his arms crossed as he waited. Next was Caesar, who had one leg crossed over the other and was fanning himself to try and stay cool. Then there was Tool, who watched Barney patiently and knowingly. There was an empty chair for Gunner, even though everyone knew he wouldn't show, and Lee kept glancing towards it and wondering if he was with Sammy. The thought bothered him, and he didn't like that it bothered him.

"Alright," Barney said finally, rubbing his hands together and looking around the room. "I have a story I need to share. Something I've gotta get off my chest in order to make it right."

The guys all turned their attention to Barney and settled into their respective spots. Barney let out a sigh and closed his eyes as he let the memories wash over him.

—-

Vietnam 1971

Barney woke the next morning to an empty tent. He was confused for a moment, like maybe he had dreamed the events of the previous night, but he was shirtless and could smell a hint of her perfume on him. It was subtle, but it was enough to spread a smile across his face as he collected himself and got ready for the day. He could hear the usual ruckus outside, all the people collecting their gear and packing it back up in their packs. He briefly remembered Lucie telling him that she had gotten promoted and his heart sank. He could still feel her touch lingering on his skin, even after the entire night had washed over him and however long he had slept without her there had gone by. He wondered if that static feeling would ever go away or if he would feel it burning into his skin his entire life.

"Barney, my man!" Conrad yelled from outside the small tent. Barney finished shoving his feet into his boots and pulled himself out, twisting and stretching in the humid morning air. It was fresh outside, somehow, like the world had been cleaned. He glanced towards Conrad before he turned to start repacking his sleeping gear into his bag.

"Mornin'," he grunted, trying not to focus too much on the previous night. He was failing.

"You know, I think it's good for you," Conrad said, raising a brow and crossing his arms. He looked his friend up and down and a smirk spread across his face. "We're out here in hell, you might as well get some before you bite a bullet, right?"

Barney furrowed his brows and spared Conrad a tired glance over his shoulder. Was he that obvious? Or had people seen them both together? He felt the tips of his ears get hot and he shook his head.

"What are you going on about, Stonebanks?" Barney asked, rolling up his tent and sleeping bag so that they would fit in his pack.

"You know what I'm talking about very well," Conrad said with a hint of a chuckle. "Tell me, who was the lucky lady? Or man- desperate times, right?"

Barney made a face but didn't look up from his work. His boots were unlaced and loose on his feet and sweat was already dripping from his hairline from the hot sun poking through the leaves of the trees.

"Barney, Barney, Barney," Conrad said, leaning back against a tree and lighting up a cigarette. "It was more than that, wasn't it?"

Barney pressed his lips together and turned his attention to lacing up his boots. They were caked in mud and dirt and probably blood but he couldn't find it in himself to care very much. Conrad was blowing a puff of smoke out from his lungs and smirking down at him. He could feel the pressure of his friends gaze and wished he was anywhere else in the world at that moment.

"Come on, Barn, details!" Conrad laughed, patting him on the chest as he stood. He offered Barney a drag of his cigarette but he refused. Conrad made a face. "Not even a smoke? What's really up with you, man?"

"Nothing," Barney said, hefting his pack over his shoulders and reaching to secure his weapons onto him. "Don't you have better things to do?"

Conrad looked him up and down before the smirk rose slightly on his face again. He took one last puff of his cigarette and flicked it into the brush.

"Better things? Not really, unless you consider getting bit by spiders better than this."

Barney shook his head and made to leave but Conrad stopped him with a hand to his chest. He looked his friend up and down one last time and sighed.

"Seriously, Barney, it's not a big deal. We all got needs, right?"

Barney shoved him off and stomped away. Conrad had done a number on his mood, but he was still floating up there somewhere near cloud nine. When he thought about his hands tracing along her bare back, he felt a jolt of electricity travel up his arms and end with a shiver in his spine. He wanted to see her, even if it was just from a distance, just to taker her in and make sure she was real. He wondered how she was feeling- did she regret last night? Was she packing to head out somewhere else, to some other post with some other soldiers that needed tending to? Was she thinking about him like he was thinking about her?

He sniffed and scratched at his growing stubble. He figured he could really go for one of those cigars again. The heat was bearing down on him and his pack was heavy on his shoulders. The weight of his guns at his side was very present in his mind, mostly because all he wanted near him was Lucie. Her touch was more addicting than the cigarettes ever were, and he was really itching for another fix all of a sudden. He looked around at all the soldiers packing and getting ready to head out. He glanced towards the medical tent, at all the trucks parked in a row in the dirt, and at the few choppers that flew over them in the sky. He wasn't sure he recognized this life even though it was the same one he had lived yesterday and the day before. The jungle was rose-tinted now, and everything felt like her.

"Specialist Ross?"

Barney snapped his head to the side and caught her smiling up at him, clad in her uniform, her clothes and hair neatly tucked into place like nothing had ever happened. He swallowed over a lump forming in his throat and tightened his jaw, desperate not to make himself too obvious. Her smile widened slightly and he knew that he was failing.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, his eyes roving over her body before landing back on her eyes. She lifted a brow and crossed her arms, standing with her feet apart and pressed firmly into the wet ground. The corner of her lips twitched up into a smirk for just a second before she corrected herself and cleared her throat. Even so, her posture relaxed a bit and he could tell they were talking as friends, not as soldiers.

"I just wanted to say hi before you head out. I don't know if I'll still be here when-"

Conrad came bustling up behind Barney then, fully clad in all his gear, and nudged Barney as he settled at his side. Lucie glanced over to him with a neutral look, but Conrads smug grin seemed to let them both know that something was up.

"Look who it is!" Conrad said, bumping Barney's arm and flashing Lucie a toothy grin. "Heard about the promotion. Good stuff."

"Thanks," Lucie said, trying on her best smile. Barney watched her lips curl over her teeth, the way her skin stretched into subtle dimples that broke up the sun kissed freckles along her pink cheeks. She had a slender nose that was rounded on the end and it wrinkled at the bridge when that smile spread across her face. Her eyebrows turned downwards as she looked over Stonebanks, and Barney took note of the waving wrinkles of her forehead and how they lead up to her hairline which was gelled down against her scalp and out of the way for her work. She'd molded a curling sideburn beside her ear and Barney followed it down until his eyes were on her neck and noticed a few fading black and blue marks catching the sunlight. His jaw tightened at that and he quickly averted his eyes, hoping nobody had caught him looking.

"Did you hear about it?" Conrad asked.

"Huh?" Barney asked, turning his attention to Stonebanks while he scratched his cheek.

"The promotion, Barns," Conrad said, smirking and nudging him again. Barney shrugged him away and felt his cheeks start to flush, but before he could say anything, Lucie piped up.

"I actually came looking for people to share the news with last night, and I found Barney," she said. Conrad raised his brows and Barney met her eyes. "We shared a cigar. Joked a bit. I was surprised you didn't stop by. Someone keeping you busy?"

It was Barney's turn to raise his brows and nudge Conrad. He was surprised that Lucie had taken control of the conversation so fast, but he was also relieved not to be at the center of attention anymore. His head was still spinning from seeing her so close.

"And if there was someone?" Conrad asked, looking Lucie up and down. "You wouldn't happen to be jealous, would you, Sergeant First Class Chaudoir?"

"Jealous?" She asked, a subtle laugh etched into her voice. "Trust me, I don't need to be jealous."

"And that wouldn't happen to be because-"

"Lucie!"

The three of them turned suddenly towards a truck that was offloading a handful of new arrivals. Lucie and Conrad had their chests towards each other but their heads facing the small crowd of soldiers, and Barney picked out a short redhead with her freckled arm shoved in the air trying to wiggle her way through. Her hair was gelled down like Lucie's, but it seemed to be a bit more naturally frizzy and was fighting to be free. She was wearing the combat medic getup with a patch that gave her the rank of Sergeant. Lucie seemed to notice her then, too, because she turned away from Conrad and Barney altogether and started hurrying towards the smaller woman.

"Dilly!" Lucie called, racing to meet the redhead and drawing the attention of a few meandering soldiers. Barney and Conrad looked on, confused.

Lucie captured the smaller woman in her arms and they struggled to keep their balance as they held each other. Barney didn't recognize the redhead- Dilly, Lucie had called her- and Conrad seemed to be at a loss, as well.

"How long has it been, Frenchie?"

"Over a year, at least!"

Barney and Conrad exchanged a look and shrugged.

"Barney, Conrad, come here," Lucie called, letting up her grip on Dilly enough to wave them over. The new woman waved at them with a smile plastered across her cheeks, her frizzy hairs catching in the wet wind.

"And who might this be?" Conrad asked, flashing one of his usual grins.

"This is Dilly," Lucie said, straightening her uniform with a smile. "We were best friends in training. I haven't seen her since I was placed out here."

"Nice to meet you, Dilly. I'm Conrad, but my friends and everyone else like to call me Stonebanks."

Dilly smiled kindly and glanced up towards Barney.

"Barney Ross," he said, nodding politely and glancing back at Lucie. "Barney or Ross works for me."

"They were just on their way out, so-" Lucie started, glancing around at the busy base. She chewed on her lower lip and shook her head. "When did you get placed here, anyway?"

"Last minute," Dilly said, still smiling. "I'm in your unit! Didn't you see it yet?"

Lucie made a face and glanced back at Barney and Conrad. They both shrugged.

"My unit? I just got promoted, I'm gonna be heading out to one of the bigger stations-"

"You haven't seen it yet?" Dilly asked, laughing and tossing an arm over Lucie's shoulders. "We're stationed here, Frenchie."

Barney felt his heart skip in his chest. He found Lucie's eyes for a split second and hoped it was true. The thought of potentially never seeing her again had been sitting heavy on his mind since last night, but if she was stationed at the same base as him, none of that would matter. They'd be around each other all the time. They could spend as many nights sneaking around together as they wanted. The thought brought some color to his cheeks and he waited for her response.

"I need to go check on this," Lucie said, a wide smile on her face. She looked back and forth between Barney and Conrad and gripped Dilly's hand in her own. "I'll catch up with you guys sometime, sound good?"

"Yup," Conrad said, lifting a hand to wave.

"Yeah," Barney said, the word just a wisp on his tongue. He watched her turn to go towards the medical tents, Dilly close by her side, and wished that he could just take her back home to the states where they could be safe and out of that jungle hell-scape.

"So, had a cigar, huh?"

Barney looked up dumbly, adjusting the strap of his pack on his shoulder.

"What?" He asked.

Conrad chuckled and adjusted himself before he headed for the truck where other soldiers were loading up. Barney watched him go, too, and for a second he thought that maybe life was right. Maybe things were good. Maybe he had who he needed, and for the first time ever, he could be content in the destiny he'd found. He wasn't sure if he was a soldier, but he was definitely a friend.

—-

The bullets came out of nowhere, seemingly from the thick leaves of the trees around them. One sliced through Conrad's sleeve and sent a spray of blood across Barney's chest.

"Shit!" Conrad yelled, throwing himself to the ground alongside Barney and the rest of their unit. There was an annoying drizzle around them and the raindrops were collecting in a sheen on Barney's face. He could hear the shooting and some distant yelling but he couldn't make out where it was coming from. Suddenly, somewhere behind him, there was an explosion that shook the ground. He ducked and covered his head with one arm while he reached for his gun with the other.

"What's going on?" Someone yelled, their voice shrill over the whistling of bullets and the echoing of the blast.

"Hold your fire!"

"Everyone quiet!"

Barney glanced sidelong at Conrad and held his attention. The bullet that had hit him really had just grazed him, leaving him with a rough and bloody burn on his upper arm. Barney could feel the sting of his old wound when he looked at it, and all that did was remind him of the first time he had ever seen Lucie, and then he was thinking about her smile and her soft skin and her laugh instead of the enemy soldiers closing in on them.

"Come in, this is Specialist Hughes with-"

Barney couldn't focus on the radio chatter. Conrad was wrapping his arm up beside him and fumbling to tie it off. He reached over and did it himself, pulling it tight and secure so it wouldn't loosen in case of a fight.

"Did you see anything?" Conrad asked, licking a bit of sweat from his upper lip.

"No. Nothing. Damn things came out of nowhere," he said, peaking his head up to glance around. There was smoke billowing in from the brush and climbing into the sky in the distance. He could hear the sounds of planes overhead and the impossible echo of gunfire in the dense forest. The only thought on his mind was to get back to base in one piece to Lucie, or even in a few pieces so that she could stitch him back together. As long as his head was on his shoulders and his heart was beating, he'd find a way back and she would take care of the rest.

"-come in! We're being ambushed, requesting backup to coordinates-"

Barney checked the clip on his gun and chewed on the inside of his cheek. That familiar rush was rising inside of him, a feeling he would never admit to enjoying even to Conrad. The feeling of the fight, the adrenaline, the will to survive and get the job done. He cracked his knuckles and waited for the signal to return fire.

Another explosion went off somewhere just ahead of them, close enough to thrust them backwards into the dirt. Barney landed heavily on his pack, gripping his gun tight in his hand and shaking away the ringing in his ear. Conrad gripped his arm for a moment and checked for blood. There was a little, but it wasn't bad.

"Don't want that to get infected," Barney grunted, raising his voice over the noise. "Treatments a bitch."

"I hear the docs are pretty good," Conrad said, rolling his shoulders and kneeling back behind their cover.

"-we've got wounded-"

"-medical e-vac enroute-"

"-return fire-"

Conrad met Barney's eyes and nodded. The faster they handled the shooters, the faster they could call this trek into the jungle a day and move on. Barney flicked up his gun and aimed out into the brush, waiting for the faintest hint of movement. He saw a twitch and squinted, his fingers tight over the trigger- another twitch- he fired. Conrad did the same beside him, rolling his neck and grunting at the use of his sore arm. Barney wanted to roll his eyes and poke fun at the fact that it was just a graze, but another explosion shook the ground and sent him reeling. His gun fumbled from his grip and he landed in an awkward twist in the mud, smearing the mess along the left side of his face. He felt Conrad reach to pull him up when another whistling explosion went off closer to them and made Barney's head spin. He curled his fingers up in the mud and tried to push himself up but the world was turning around him and his ears were ringing so loud that he couldn't even hear the gunfire. Images of Lucie flashed in his mind; her laying against his chest, her smile in the glowing campfire light, her lighthearted chuckle in the medical tent as she handed him some antibiotics and an order to get some rest.

"Barney!" Conrad called, shaking him out of his momentary stupor. Barney shook his head and leaned on Stonebanks as he stood, feeling along his side for his gun.

"Shit, we gotta fallback," someone said, their voice just a passing hiss amidst the sudden chaos. Barney glanced around and found himself drawn to the image of a cross through the brush and smoke- the cross of the army medics, which Lucie always wore on her uniform and gear proudly. He swallowed and grabbed a fistful of Conrad's sleeve as he focused on it.

"It's fine," Conrad said, placing a dirty hand over Barney's. "They know what they're doing. We've got injured that need them-"

"What if she's there?" Barney asked, blinking a few times before he turned and met Conrad's eyes.

"Who? Lucie?" Conrad asked, glancing between the distant chaos and the man at his side.

"We gotta go help," Barney said, his throat going dry as he took a step. Conrad gripped him harder and pulled him back.

"We won't be any help," Conrad said. "We got orders, Barn-"

"Screw the orders," Barney said, yanking himself away. "Screw the chain of command. All we have is each other at the end of the day, right?"

Conrad tightened his gaze on Barney for a long moment before he nodded with a sigh. His arm was aching and pounding and his head was heavy on his shoulders- maybe he had a nasty hit to the head at some point, but he wasn't sure.

Barney took off towards the medical e-vac team through the foliage and Conrad hurried after him. Most of the soldiers were heading in a hurry in the opposite direction, but the both of them ran headfirst into the danger, into the jungle and the death that always awaited. He couldn't get a clear view of any squad information or faces, so he didn't know if she was there, but his gut was telling him to hurry up and find out. He couldn't deal with the thought of her getting hurt or even having to see what the war was like outside of a medical tent. Sure, she saw the wounds, the blood, the tears- but that was different, wasn't it? But what was one trauma compared to another? Did it even make any difference?

He bounded through the smoke and trees and found himself stumbling into a small clearing filled with medical trucks and wounded soldiers. It smelled like gunpowder and blood and rain and the only sounds were of distant shooting and the wailing cries of the wounded. He scanned the faces around him, searching for Lucie's amongst the rush, but he didn't see her anywhere.

"We gotta go, Barney," Conrad said, clapping his shoulder and glancing around. "Get situated back at base, and then we can see where-"

"Wait," Barney said, fighting the pain of his heart rising in his throat as he searched. "I think- I think this is her-"

He was cut off by the sound of radio chatter growing louder and more chaotic as well as the sound of alarms blaring. He cut his attention suddenly to the sky and tightened his grip on his gun, swallowing hard over his pounding heart.

"What the hell-" Conrad started, nudging Barney and looking around at the mess.

"They're bombing the area," Barney said, drawing his eyes down to Conrad.

"There's wounded friendlies," Conrad said, shaking his head. "What the hell are they-"

Barney felt his brain run numb as he spotted a familiar sight in the corner of his eyes and turned his attention towards it. Bright red hair, slicked back and frizzy, curls bobbing as she sprinted through the mess of bodies and brambles towards a group of soldiers limping in and clutching their untended, bloody wounds.

"Dilly," he said, his mouth hanging open as he focused in on the young woman he had met briefly before.

"What?" Conrad asked, looking around.

"It's Dilly," Barney said, this time with more power. "Lucie's here. She's here somewhere."

"But they're about to unleash hell on this side of the jungle," Conrad said. "We gotta go."

"Not without her," Barney said, tightening his jaw and setting off towards Dilly. He remembered the way Lucie had looked at the woman- there was kinship there; love, even. If Lucie had any idea about what was happening, she wouldn't let Dilly run out and get killed. Barney would never let Conrad get left behind, and Lucie was built from steel a bit stronger than he was. She'd run into fire for someone she loved.

That was just what Barney was so afraid of.

The alarms were getting louder and some of the trucks were rumbling to life around him. Conrad was at his heels, grabbing people and telling them to get out before the place was bombed to hell. They were each covered in a thick coating of sweat and dirt, but all around them people were wrapped in bandages and drenched in blood. It was a mess, but on top of it all, there were people trying to clean it up.

Barney had closed about half the distance to Dilly when the charges started going off. Conrad yanked him back and they watched as one of the trucks caught fire across the clearing from them, sending people running desperately away while it exploded into the air. Dilly looked up while she clung to one of the wounded soldiers abdomen, and Barney saw a few bullets tear through the air near her. None of them hit her, though. She was down on the ground under Lucie before they had the chance to meet her flesh. Barney didn't know why he suddenly couldn't move, but seeing Lucie there in her element, fearlessly protecting her team and caring for the soldiers, threw him off his balance. He knew he needed to move and help them before more charges went off, but he couldn't make his body respond to his mind.

Lucie was quickly readjusting herself to pack the wounds and help the soldiers get out. She was barking orders that Barney couldn't hear over the whistling and yelling and popping and gunfire. She had dirt smeared down her face and her hair covered in a glossy film of gel and sweat, and Dilly was moving quickly at her side.

The explosions came again. He heard the screaming erupt and took off at a sprint, Conrad at his side. The smoke was barely clearing by the time they made it to where they had spotted the women before, and Barney squinted in the fog to try and make out any bodies on the ground.

"Lucie!" He called, wheezing as the smoke shot into his lungs.

The image of her gripping Dilly flashed in his mind. Why were they even out in the field? Why were there friendly charges going off near a medical e-vac?

His mind was racing but he didn't have the time to think. He just needed to find her and get her out of the danger zone before anything bad could happen. The fog was clearing just barely when he spotted Dilly's red hair again like a beacon, and he nearly fell over himself trying to get to her. Wherever she was, Lucie would be, and he just needed to see her before he could do anything else.

When he reached her, she was nursing the side of her face and blood was trickling through her fingers. She was crying out, her uniform in tatters around her, mud and dirt and blood sprayed all over her body.

"Dilly," Barney said, sliding down to his knees and gripping her. "Where's Lucie?"

Dilly looked up at him, tears flooding her eyes, and let out a broken sob that he could barely hear over the chaos around them. She was younger than the rest of them, he realized, and clearly afraid. She reached out a bloody hand and gripped him tight, scanning his face with a silent plead to stay close.

"I got her," Conrad said, batting at the smoke around them before he reached out and took Dilly in his arms.

"Where's Lucie?" Barney asked again, this time a little harder, a little angrier.

"She was leaving," Dilly tried, shaking her head and holding onto Conrad for support. "I saw these soldiers trying to reach us, and I couldn't let them-"

Barney shook his head, exasperated, and made to leave when Dilly raised her voice to a strangled cry.

"I couldn't leave them behind!"

Conrad held her tighter and Barney pulled away, searching through the clearing smog for Lucie. He hoped she had just gotten up and went to look for help after the last bomb, or for Dilly, or had just run away-

But she hadn't.

He spotted her curled up on the ground near the edge of the destruction, clutching her stomach and reaching for the radio not far ahead of her. He felt his entire being lift above the ground and then slam back down into it hard, like his soul was knocked off center or shattered. He hurried over to her, falling to the ground with a thump as he got closer.

"Lucie," he said, scanning her body before he reached for her. She was clutching her stomach painfully and her face was twisted and tired. Her eyes lazily found their way to his and she stared up at him, brows furrowed.

"Barney," she tried, but a bit of blood dribbled over her lips as she spoke and she coughed, which only sent more pain surging through her body. Barney looked down at where her hands were pressed against her abdomen and found a big, impossible gash across her stomach. He lifted her half into his arms and pressed one hand down hard over the wound, earning a pained gasp from Lucie.

"I'm gonna get you out," Barney said, desperately adjusting his hand to try and stem the bleeding. "It's alright."

"What happened?" She asked, her eyes still locked up on his face, glazed over and bloodshot.

"An ambush. Then they decided to bomb the entire area to take care of it."

Conrad hurried over and rested a crying, shaking Dilly down by a tree before he made his way to Barney. He looked down at Lucie in Barney's arms, his chest heaving and heart wrenching at the sight of her.

"Huh," Lucie said, searching his face. "It's bad, isn't it?"

"Don't talk," Barney said, trying desperately to readjust his grip on her wound. "I'm gonna get you out, alright?" The images of her there in front of him and from the night before warred in his mind.

She winced, her lips wet with blood and rain, parting as she cried out. The sound made Barney stop moving and just look at her. Moving her wouldn't help, but they sure as hell couldn't stay where they were. There was more whistling, more sirens, more chaos and smoke.

"Barney," she tried, pulling a soaked hand from her belly and reaching up to his face. "You're good, you know that?"

"Don't," Barney said, pulling her just the slightest bit closer and shaking his head. "I'm gonna get you out."

She pressed her lips into a sickly smile, but soon her hand fell limp from the side of his face and her eyes rolled back in her head. Barney shook her, his hand still pressed into her wound, but her body went limp in his arms. He felt tears stinging and beading in his eyes and blinked as he shook her again.

"Shit," Conrad said, running his hands through his hair in a panic. "Ah, fuck."

"Lucie," Barney said, sniffing as he reached up and took her face in his hands. Her head just bobbled limply to the side, empty of any strength. His fingers left a patch of blood on her skin. "Lucie-"

But she was gone. It had happened so fast. He held her, his sadness and anger bubbling over in him, and he listened to the distant sounds of war like the soundtrack to his life and felt his fists begin to shake. He was no soldier. This was not what he wanted to be fighting for. What did that make him, then?

"Barney, man, I'm sorry-" Conrad tried, biting back his own raw emotion, "but we gotta go. We gotta-"

"I won't go back," Barney shouted, spit flying from between barred teeth. "They did this."

Conrad sighed and fell to his knees next to Barney- his closest friend- and looked down at the body in his arms with a broken, defeated frown. Only a few hours ago he'd been teasing Barney about her.

"We won't," he said, placing a hand on Barney's shoulder. "We'll leave. We'll figure something out. We won't be their pawns anymore. But we can't stay here."

"I can't leave her here alone," Barney said, wiping some blood stained hair out of her face. Her lips were gently parted, hanging limp on loose, relaxed skin and muscle.

"Barn-"

"We don't mean anything to them," Barney said, snapping his head up and looking at Conrad sadly, desperately, his eyes bloodshot and broken. "We're fucking expendable to them."

"Keep it light 'till it's time to get dark, brother," Conrad tried, reaching his hands out and gripping Barney's face in his hands. "We don't have the time right now. We gotta keep our heads on and move."

"I need-"

Another whistle sounded off and Conrad glanced around in a hurry. He tugged on Barney but he refused to move, cemented in his place in the dirt where Lucie had died.

"Barney, I know, we're expendable to them. But not to each other, right? She wasn't expendable to you. If you stay here and get blown to bits, you're not doing right by her."

"I have to bury her right," he tried.

"We'll get out of here and never look back. I got some guys I can call- they'll hook us up with some gig or two maybe, and we'll be on our feet in the states in no time. Money, that's what we'll need, right?"

Barney dropped his head so that his forehead rested against Lucie's. He flashed back to the night before again, when she had been laying with him, all warmth and skin and paradise. It was a stark contrast to how she looked in his arms then, the colors all draining from her face and juxtaposed to the bloody, dirty mess on her skin. The cross of the army medics was patched onto her sleeve. He felt like the system was a cage. There was the illusion of hope, the light shining in through the bars of the enclosure, but at the end of the day the only people that could escape were the ones with the keys.

She was there in his arms, motionless.

And Barney Ross felt the world burning around him.

—-

Present Day

The guys were looking up at Barney with confused, hopeless eyes. Tool lifted up his pipe and took a long drag from it, averting his gaze so that he was studying the ceiling. Lee looked Barney over, taking in the way his hands vibrated with rage and emotion. His chest was aching and burning. He wanted to go get Sammy and tell her that he needed her- life would be a dull, monotonous ride without her color and light.

"Apparently," Barney said, looking down at his worn-out boots and letting his fist fall against his thigh, "there was a hotshot target somewhere in that raid, and the risk was worth the win. Lucie got some shrapnel to the stomach- some piece of shit hunk of metal that probably would have torn Dilly or those guys into two- and she died in the jungle."

The guys each drew in a breath and turned their attention down to the floor between each of their legs.

"Do you blame her?" Yang asked suddenly, adjusting his arms and gaze.

"Dilly?" Barney asked, glancing up at Yang over swollen, puffy, bloodshot eyes.

Yang nodded and kept his eyes glued to Barney's face, waiting.

"She took a risk, helping those guys out," he said.

Lee turned his eyes up to study Barney. His lips were pinched slightly together, his cheeks sucked it and eyes set hard into a practiced flatness. In all of his years with Barney, he had never heard the name Lucie once.

"If Dilly hadn't tried to help them," Lee said, dropping his brows, "Lucie- she would probably be here."

"Maybe," Barney said, swallowing over a lump in his throat. "Maybe not. Dilly made her decision, and then Lucie-" his voice broke slightly as he said her name- "made her decision, too."

"So is Sammy Lucie, or is she Dilly?" Tool asked, looking over the guys and their sad, hardened faces.

"What?" Caesar asked, straightening up.

"Sammy's been bringing up these memories, I'd imagine," Tool said, settling back with a loose shrug. "Do you think she's gonna get someone you care about killed, or herself?"

Barney chewed on his lower lip before he looked to Lee. Maybe the answer was simple- they were one and the same. Losing Sammy would cost him Lee, and losing Lee would be the final nail in his coffin. He liked to play the part of the tough guy, but he couldn't take the idea of losing another close friend. Not after everything.

In truth, though, it was Captain that had first brought back the memories of Lucie. She was never really forgotten, just tucked away, but Cap had sucked her right out of the recesses of his soul. He didn't understand why. Sammy only added to that, and then all that business with Bee- it was too close for comfort. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Lee studied him still, waiting.

"Sammy is different from them both," Barney tried. "The point is that… I said no to her because somebody should have said no to Lucie. Should've stopped her from running in after Dilly."

The guys all blinked and looked away. They didn't move from their spots, the only sounds being their heavy breathing and sniffing and Tool puffing on his pipe. Some cars passed by outside. A plane flew by overhead.

"So are we looking for Bee?" Toll asked.

"Lucie would say it's the right thing to do," Lee said, his eyes heavy on Barney's. They watched each other for a long moment before Barney nodded.

"She would," he said. "She did."

Caesar stood up then, his chair sliding along the ground and stopping with a shrieking burst. He held out his arms and forced a smile.

"So what're we waiting for, then?" He asked.

Barney looked around before his eyes found Lee's again. He huffed a gentle laugh and nodded.

"Right. Gear up," he said, spinning his pointer finger in a circle beside his head. Lee clenched his jaw and nodded.

Then he stood and pulled out his phone, clicked on Sammy's contact, and held it against his ear. He waited.

It kept ringing.