Barney and Lee were staring at each other over the countertop in Sammy's small kitchen. They weren't speaking, but the air was heavy between them, and Lee's face was contorted and strangled. A few pieces of paper rested between them on the island, Sammy's messy waitress scrawl decorating the pages. Barney shifted his weight between his hips and looked down his nose at his second in command, the bags under his crooked eyes heavy and flooded with stress and grief. He absently pulled at the leather brace around his thumb and stretched his fingers; it was a habit he had developed when things got messy, since the mess always seemed to remind him of his worst injuries. Lee noticed, and after a second of irritation, he closed his eyes and broke the tension by looking away. His head was heavy on his shoulders. For the first time in a year, a thought he never thought he'd think crossed his mind: was it worth it to love Sammy? What did love mean to him anyway? It meant loyalty. It meant honesty. It meant family and happiness and retirement.

Barney quietly tried to clear his throat and fingered one of the pages with his good hand. It was thick, stiff paper- he assumed it was from one of her sketchbooks. Behind him, Riley's candles were flickering and glowing, reflected on the glossy image of her smiling young face. She was watching them, he thought. Watching to see what their next move would be.

He looked down at the note for the hundredth time that afternoon. The one he had in front of him hadn't been addressed to anybody in particular, so he'd taken the liberty of opening it and reading it for himself.

Hi,

I'm sure when you find this you'll be worried about me. Please, don't be- I'm alright.

I'll be alright. I just can't be here right now, sitting around and doing nothing. I've

accepted my role with the Expendables, but I can't accept this decision. I just need time. I

need time to myself to figure things out and deal with what's happened one step at a time.

I can't do that here. I'm suffocating. Not because of the job we do, but because of the job

I couldn't do. I didn't want to just disappear, because you all deserve more than that- you

gave me a family when I lost everything. I'll owe you all for that for the rest of my life.

But right now, I owe myself the distance. Please don't look for me, I don't want to be

found.

I love you all.

-Sammy

Lee opened his eyes and watched as Barney read over the note again. His face was burning and his fingers twitched and shook when he didn't clasp them into tight fists. He wanted to hit something, but that was always his immediate reaction to any intense emotion. Riley was watching him over Barney's shoulder, the flickering candle giving life to her stagnant expression. Lee's mouth was dry and he could feel his heartbeat bouncing erratically against his chest. He looked at the picture of Riley for a long minute, not noticing when Barney finally looked up from the note and watched him stare. He felt the paper in front of him on the counter, already wrinkled and smeared from resting in his hands for too long. He swallowed and tore his eyes away from Riley and found Barney.

"We don't believe she just went home to wind down for a spell, do we?" Barney asked, but his tone was even and rhetorical. Sammy must've known when she left the notes that none of them would ever believe she wasn't running after Bee, or that they would just trust her to be alright by herself.

"If she's going after the Major alone," Lee said, standing up suddenly and jamming his finger down into the note addressed to him on the counter, "then she's in trouble. It doesn't matter how good she is or isn't- he's better."

Barney nodded, dropping his hands to his hips and blowing a bit of hair away from his forehead.

"She's one of us. She works like us. We'll catch up to her," he said.

"We need to call everyone," Lee said, pacing back and forth through the kitchen now. "Get any lead we can. Maybe Captain and her motley crew have information we can use. Have you heard from them?"

"Not since the hospital," Barney said, cocking his head. "How do we know Sammy isn't with them?"

"How do we know she is?" Lee asked, running his hands over his head. "Dammit, Barn, what do we do?"

Barney waited a moment for Lee to gather himself before he bothered to speak. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight to his opposite hip.

"We do what we always do- what we're good at doing. We track her, we find her, and we bring her back. That's what we should've been doing all along, right?"

Lee blinked a few times and then nodded. In her house, even in the kitchen, he was surrounded by her smell. It was intoxicating. As angry as he was, he couldn't help but wish he could just pull her into his arms and let everything be okay. But this was the job- the life- he had chosen. Being okay was never really an option, and he knew that from day one, even way back in his SAS days. That was why he had wanted to retire. Maybe if he finally put down his blades and started the life he always talked about having, 'okay' would come. But he couldn't stop fighting, not yet.

"Lee, we're gonna find her," Barney said, grabbing his friend by the shoulder and giving him a sturdy shake. "You need to keep your head on straight. Let's go back to the guys and make some calls."

Lee nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose. He slipped the letter that Sammy had written for him into his pocket and followed after Barney as he left the house. He locked the door behind him even though the person the lock was meant to protect was no longer there. The stairs of the porch creaked under his feet as he bounced down them, and he glanced over at the dead garden that separated their houses. It was just a dry bed of rotted plants and roots. There was nothing special about it, but like everything else now, it reminded him of her. He could see her on that river bank, bleeding and desperately pumping Angel's chest, and he flinched away from the thought. He didn't have to imagine the things that could happen to her out there alone because he had seen all of the worst things already. That's why he didn't want her to go, why he fought to keep her at his side- at least beside him, he could protect her.

Now all he had was the letter, and it was dead weight in his pocket pulling him towards the ground, towards the dead land at his feet.

—-

Lee burst through the doors of Tool's Tattoo parlor with a grimace and headed straight to the back room to gather his belongings. Tool looked up from his desk, concerned, and watched as the door bounced against the wall and was stopped abruptly from closing all the way by Barney's hand pressed flat against it.

"Jeez, brother," Tool said, standing and brushing his hands off on his vest, "what the hell happened? Where's Sammy?"

Barney tightened his jaw and held up the collection of letters she had left. He let the door close more gently behind him and eyed the back room where he could hear Lee knocking things around. He drew in a breath and made his way to Tool.

"We don't know," Barney said, dropping the letters into Tool's outstretched hand. "We got there and she was gone. She left these."

Tool sucked in his cheek and looked down at the papers. He hoped that wherever Trench was, he was working quickly and efficiently and would take out the Major before it became a problem for Sammy.

"This is my fault," Barney said, and Tool was confused by the sudden swell of emotion in his voice. He hardly ever heard the man get choked up, at least not this openly. He met Barney's eyes and popped out his lips, which were shaking as he tried to go over the options in his head.

"You put that pressure on yourself now and you'll never be able to do the job you know needs to be done," Tool said, lowering his voice and glancing towards the back room. "How'd the ghost of Christmas present take it?"

Barney scoffed and clapped his hands against his thighs. Tool nodded and dropped the letters onto his desk before he held up a calming hand towards Barney.

"You're on it now. That's what matters, right?" Tool asked.

"Lee was on his way out before this," Barney said through bared teeth, "if she doesn't come back, we're gonna lose him."

"No, brother," Tool said, gripping Barney's shoulder and giving him a shake. "You think you're gonna lose him. And you won't."

Barney stared back at Tool and tried to let himself see it that way, but he couldn't.

"Look, Sammy is a stubborn kid," Tool went on, pulling his hand back. "And you had reason enough to believe you were making the right choice. You wanted to focus on finding the Major the way you've been doing it all along. Ain't no issue in that. We're supposed to learn from our pasts, and your past- Lucie- she was telling you to say no."

Barney looked down and clamped his fingers over his eyes. He had a migraine brewing and all he wanted to do was try and sleep. He could hear Lee packing stuff into a bag from the cabinets and let out a heavy sigh.

"If we lose Sammy, then we've gone as dark as we could go," Barney said, his words just a low growl over the din of traffic and electricity.

"Then don't lose her," Tool said. "Bring her home."

Barney opened his mouth to speak just as Lee slammed through the door and into the main room, carrying a duffel of supplies along with him. He dropped it in a chair and pulled his jacket up over his shoulders before he brandished a few throwing knives and ran the pad of his thumb over their blades.

"Where do we start?" Lee asked, tucking the knives away and looking between Barney and Tool expectantly. They were quiet for a minute before Tool cleared his throat.

"If you were Sammy, and you needed to find somebody, who would you go to?"

Lee glanced at Barney and nodded. They understood.

"Tell the team to meet us at the hangar," Barney said, hefting up his bag and nodding to Tool.

"Right on," Tool said, half-saluting them both as they made their way to the door.

Once they were gone and Tool was alone again, he slumped into his chair and cradled his head in his hands. His hair tangled up in his fingers and his oil and sweat slicked skin slipped against his palms. There was only so much he could do from behind a damn desk. He wanted nothing more than to run out into the field like he used to, but like he always did when he thought about stepping out of retirement, he heard that splash of water that symbolized his point of no return. He could've- should've- saved that woman from jumping. All that killing and he didn't save a life when he could've. He was cursed from that, he felt.

Or maybe he wasn't. Maybe the truth was simple: he was just a jaded man that didn't know any other way of life. Death was his friend, and Tool had seen him standing on that bridge with that woman. He was just so used to seeing the reaper that it didn't even phase him when there might have been another option. Not until it was too late.

And somehow, it was always too late.

—-

The room they were lead back to didn't look like it resided within an old abandoned warehouse. The walls, for the most part, were evenly painted and clean, and the windows were unbroken and had a clear view out into the city. There were tables, a mini fridge, and a handful of chairs. Maps covered the walls, some marked up in messy scrawl, others left completely blank. Cap didn't pay much mind to any of it and instead pulled a chair up to one of the tables and sat down. Bones and Angel did the same. Sammy glanced around once more, thinking back to the little room at Tool's where she had first met him and Barney. It was similar enough, though much larger. She pulled up a chair and sat next to Cap, who was staring forward and waiting for Bonaparte to join them.

"The name does sound familiar," Bonaparte said, sidling in and grabbing a mug from the counter. He made his way to the table and sat down across from the group, taking all of them in before he nodded and sipped from his mug. "But only in reference to you, Gogh."

"We spent a lot of time together," Sammy said. "The Major was watching me. He would've known about her."

"Right," Bonaparte said, setting the mug down and licking his lips. "If my memory serves me right, then I'd say she was pretty good at what she did, too."

Sammy nodded. She wasn't sure where this was going.

"So people had her on their radar," Cap said, stealing Bonapartes attention. "Especially with the Major trying to climb the ladder in this world."

"Listen," Bonaparte said, clearing his throat and flattening his hands against the table. "The Major is a man that has always had an eye on the top, and he always had his contingency plans. My guess is that he marked up people close to all of you just in case he needed to… well, to motivate you. Or hurt you."

"If he's using Bee at a contingency plan, why would he only be going after me?" Sammy asked, glancing sidelong at the other women.

"That I don't know," he said, sliding his hands off the table. "But what I do know are last known locations. I can give you that… for a fee."

"A fee," Cap repeated, tasting the words.

"It is a business, isn't it?" He asked, raising a brow.

"How about the fee is we walk out of here and I don't smash your teeth in?" Cap said, her fists clenching over her thighs. Bonaparte smiled slightly and continued to sip from his mug.

"Call it repayment for leading us astray with the Major," Angel went on, standing lithely and focusing her flaming eyes down on his.

"For someone who's supposed to know everything about everyone, you really fucked us over with that guy," Bones said, sitting back casually in her chair.

Sammy just blinked and watched him. She wasn't sure she could ever be as intimidating as the rest of them were in that moment, even if her life depended on it. Still, Bonaparte turned his eyes to her, as if expecting her to continue the charade. She kept her eyes locked on his, her lips pressed into a tight straight line.

"Well, now, you didn't even ask what the fee was," he said, still eyeing Sammy.

She didn't know what compelled her to speak, but before she could stop herself, her mouth was moving. "What's the fee?"

He smiled, placing the mug between them and leaning forward. Their eyes never left each other.

"I've got some jobs I need done. I give you this information, and you all do those jobs for me in due time."

"We won't make any promises until we know the details of these jobs," Cap said.

"Call them… collections. For when people don't pay their way."

"You want us to be repo men?" Bones asked with a scoff. "For mercenaries?"

"If it's so below you, then I suppose-"

Sammy snapped. She stood up and slammed her hands down on the table and leaned as far over as she could without falling. Her face was close to his, so close that she could smell that he'd been sipping coffee. His expression didn't falter, but her lips turned up into a snarl and she was nearly shaking.

"You've taken enough," she said, nostrils flaring. "You do this for us, and we call it even. That way you get to keep your ass intact instead of us letting Angel ram her shiny new prosthetic as far up it as she can."

There was a wave of tension that wafted over the room. Sammy didn't know what was taking over her; maybe it was the irritation of constantly putting on a front like she had for Lee and the Expendables before she ran off. She was tired of playing her assigned part. She wanted to find Bee, and Bonaparte was now just another obstacle in her way. If Cap thought it was right to be a hard-ass about it, then she could be a hard-ass.

"Last I checked, you ran with the Expendables… my old friend Tool got you in contact with the Major, didn't he?"

Sammy didn't budge. "Check my skin. I'm not branded. These people here are my team and that's what counts."

Bonaparte sat back finally and sighed. He looked over the four woman in front of him, each staring at him with hateful intensity.

"I'm old friends with Barney Ross, too," he said, pulling a cigar from his pocket and running along his upper lip to smell it. "The mans done me more than a few favors, and vice versa."

The women were silent. Sammy didn't respond to the name drop like Bonaparte had hoped; he filed that knowledge away for later. She was stronger than his research had let on.

"Next time you see him, tell him thanks. He just saved your ass," he said, tucking the cigar back into his pocket. "I'd hate for that bastard to come after me if anything happened to you."

"Barney Ross is not my keeper," Sammy said, a dark edge in her tone. "And don't worry. If anything happened to me, he wouldn't be the one you'd have to worry about."

There was the sharp slicing sound then, and Sammy and Bonaparte both looked down to see Angel tapping a throwing blade casually on the table in front of her. She perked a perfectly shaped brow and the corner of her lips twitched into her signature smirk. Sammy looked back to Bonaparte.

"We're gonna need Bee and the Major's last known locations, please," Cap said, standing and giving Sammy's shoulder a pat. "It's always a pleasure doing business with you, Bonaparte."

He pressed his lips together with a pop and slowly nodded before he stood and made his way to the other side of the room. Sammy could feel her hands beginning to tremble and she swallowed. There was a cold sweat forming over her forehead and she hoped he didn't notice it.

"Bee was last reported to be stationed in a US embassy in the Middle East," Bonaparte said as he opened his computer and typed. "But a little birdie told me that she was seen at an airport in civilian clothing leaving the country. I can't tell you for sure where she ran off to, but if she was in the US, we'd have eyes on her somehow."

"So she's not dead," Sammy said.

"Well, she wasn't when she was trying to leave," he went on, barely sparing her a glance. "Can't say much about that now."

Sammy tightened her jaw and Cap adjusted her grip on her shoulder.

"As for the Major, he was seen, interestingly enough, in Mexico. Somewhere near the Yucatan. There's an expat artist colony down there. Contemporary art, shit I don't understand but have been told is a big deal. He doesn't wanna be found, but he slipped up, and if I had to guess I'd say he was taking stock in paradise and admiring the art."

"He had all the world to hide in and he chose Mexico?" Cap asked, shaking her head. "That doesn't sound right."

"Yeah, well, we've got him leaving NOLA not long after your little mission. Private flight out of the country, but there's no telling where it was headed. He's had time to jump around and plenty of fake identities to spare."

Sammy furrowed her brows. She was still stuck on the idea of Bee abandoning her post or faking her death- was she running from someone? Was her letter to Sammy a hint that she needed help but couldn't outright ask for it?

"Anyway," Bonaparte said, grabbing an empty file from a drawer and the images and papers he printed out from his laptop and stuffing them inside of it, "if you only ever do one thing right in your life, make sure it's this. Take him out."

Cap reached and grabbed the file but he held on.

"Seriously," he said, "this guy is no good. The worst of the worst. I'd be more mad about this fee if I thought you'd all ever make it back."

He let go of the file and Cap took it. She nodded, her face calm for a moment, and then she turned to leave. Bones stood and followed along. Angel glared at him for a moment longer before she went, and that left him and Sammy watching each other carefully from across the table again.

"You know, if Barney comes asking around…" he started, trailing off as his look grew more serious.

"I know," Sammy said with a nod. "But we've got a head start."

He didn't say anything. He just watched on, grim.

"This is my fight, anyway," she added, straightening herself up as she got ready to leave. "Nobody has to do this except for me."

"Well, good luck with that," he said, pulling the cigar back out from his pocket and lighting it up. "And do me a favor, would you?"

Sammy waited.

"Keep those girls safe out there. I know they're tough, but they're good. I'd… I'd hate to see anything else happen to them."

Sammy's mouth fell open slightly and she snapped it shut with a brief nod. He almost looked guilty- a complete turnaround to the man she saw moments ago. Then she turned and hurried back out to meet the rest of the group on the sidewalk. Her hands were still shaking, though not as bad. She took a deep breath.

My name is Sammy Williams.

Then she caught sight of Cap flipping through the folder and her heart stuttered for a moment. She didn't feel like Sammy Williams, not after the showdown she just took part in.

My friends call me Gogh.

Bones was too busy fussing over Angel to notice Sammy's late arrival. She was glad she wouldn't owe them an explanation as to why she was a minute behind the rest of them.

I am alive.

She pressed her fingers to the pulse point on her wrist and let out a breath. Her blood was flowing. Her lungs were filling. She was fine.

"I think our best bet is flying down to the Yucatan and gathering some more intel. We should head out while we still have some light," Cap said.

Sammy hummed her agreement and they started climbing back into the car. She couldn't help but think about Bonapartes departing comment as she caught sight of Bones and Angel in the rearview mirror, one of Bones's arms thrown over Angel's shoulders. Cap was focused forward on the road.

She knew she couldn't let anybody else suffer for her own mission. She'd have to keep them safe, or at some point, sneak away and leave them behind. Her only focus was on unraveling the mystery as to why Bee had run away and to bring her back home. Nobody else had to pay in blood for that or for Sammy.

She wondered what Riley would think about all of this. In truth, she had no idea. Riley was only fourteen when she died, and all she knew about Sammy was that she was her older sister and an artist. None of this would make any sense. It didn't even make sense to Sammy, but she supposed it didn't have to. It felt right, even if sometimes she felt like she was stuck in a rut besides the Expendables, caged like their own personal dove.

At least they had a lead to chase now. Sammy turned her head and looked out the window as the city passed her by again. She sighed.

Cap fiddled with the radio and turned up the volume as a clear song finally cut through the static. The gritty guitar sounded around them and Sammy closed her eyes.

...I've done the best I can

to make them realize

this is my life

I hope they understand

She just hoped that wherever Bee was, she knew Sammy was coming for her.