Sammy never had to hide her weapons under a dress before. She brushed down the front of the fabric, noting any wrinkles or bumps that looked out of place. She'd be carrying a camera bag with her, and there'd be a small pistol inside of it and some extra rounds. She couldn't let herself feel anything about the mission they were on, or else she'd risk the anxiety taking over. She just needed to get to Bee and get home.
Bones was sitting in her dress, her fuzzy buzzcut overgrown and sticking out at awkward angles. She was muscular under the dress, her shoulders popping out and rounding beneath the narrow straps. She was looking at Angel, her eyes catching the light of the hotel room in a way that made Sammy pause for a moment and think hard. What if something happened to them during this mission like last time?
The thought sent cold fear up through her spine until it settled like a glacier in her chest. She swallowed, but the numbness within her made her feel choked and breathless. There'd have to be a way for her to get to Bee by herself- some way she could keep Cap and Angel and Bones busy or distracted so she didn't have to risk anyone else's lives. She couldn't be responsible for Bones losing that twinkle in her eyes when she saw Angel. She couldn't be responsible for Cap losing the only family she had left. She chewed on her lower lip and thought hard.
They'd be sticking together since they were a small group. If the Major saw one of them, he'd know they were all there, and they functioned better as a team anyway. If Sammy could just find a way to separate herself from the rest of them, then maybe she could find Bee on her own and finish this thing. Her head felt light and dizzy and she puffed out a short breath.
"All good, Gogh?" Cap asked, barely looking up from trying to wrangle her hair.
"All good," Sammy lied. "Just never walked onto a battlefield in a dress before."
Angel swung her head around, her silky hair swaying like a halo around her. She smiled, and her red lipstick caught a glint of the light from the window. "It's empowering," she said, running her tongue along her teeth. "And addicting."
Sammy smiled. She knew Bones would be smiling, too.
"Speak for yourself," Bones said, but her smile leaked into every syllable.
"I do," Angel said, voice low. "But who knows, Bones. Maybe you'll like it too."
Cap and Bones chuckled and Angel turned to finish getting ready. After a moment, Sammy headed outside of their small room to get some fresh air. It smelled of wet dust and burned rubber and a damp, cloudy day.
She couldn't help the thoughts of Riley that snuck into her mind. Tears pricked at the edge of her vision and she drew in a sharp breath to try and hold them back. Would she be seeing Riley soon? Would her own photos be joining Riley's at her makeshift altar? Would her tags hang from the pipe on Barney's plane, another sound in the symphony of death she had found herself suddenly laced within?
It wouldn't help to speculate. All she knew was that she wanted to save everyone else. She wanted to save Bee and keep the others alive. Maybe it was for some sick twist on redemption, or maybe fate was playing out the way it always would. A car drove by and some dust from the road billow up under the tires. She watched it cloud near the ground until it finally settled, a fine layer of dirt over the tire tracks and footprints.
—-
Lee was standing outside the truck and adjusting the cuffs of his dress-shirt while he tried not to think of Sammy facing the Major without the team at her side. His mind kept running through worst-case-scenarios; Sammy would get caught and taken away, Sammy would get caught and hurt, Sammy would get caught and Lee would have to watch on helplessly. He tightened his lips as he worked the last button on his sleeve.
"Hey," Luna said, coming up next to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "You wear stress like it's designer. All those lines on your face age you."
Lee glanced over at her and scoffed with a shake of his head. He fingered the buttons for another second and then dropped his hands to his side with a slap.
"You know," Luna said, turning and leaning against the truck so that they were standing side-by-side. "It might be hard to see her as anything other than who she was when you met, but she's tough."
"I could say the same to you," Lee said, his voice just a grunt. "She might be tough, but she's no killer."
"She's killed," Luna said.
"To save herself, maybe someone else," Lee added.
"What makes this any different than that?" Luna asked.
Lee looked down at her and furrowed his brows. "It's personal. You know what a difference that makes."
Luna held his gaze for a moment before she let her eyes fall. She sighed into her slacked posture and looked up at the clouds, perfectly white and fluffy against a backdrop of blue.
"It's all gonna be fine," she said. "It's gonna work out."
Lee didn't answer. He just sunk back against the truck and hoped that their ruse would work. Caesar threw his pack up onto the back of the truck and straightened out his dress shirt. He held his hands out and raised a brow.
"Clean up nicely, huh?" He asked, turning over his shoulder to give them a 360 view. Luna laughed. Lee couldn't help but roll his eyes and smirk.
"Alright tough guys," Luna said, clapping Lee on the shoulder one last time. "Let's get this gun-show on the road."
Lee watched her walk away and Caesar followed. He swallowed and dropped his eyes to the dirt in front of him. Maybe she was right- maybe things were working out the way they needed to be. He loved Sammy, and he didn't want to see her hurt, but could he forgive her? Could he be okay with everything that happened?
The question put a lot of pressure on his chest, and it was suddenly hard to breathe. He shook it off and stood to dust off his shirt one last time. Barney watched from within the truck, a cigar hanging from his lips and his brows resting heavily over his eyes.
—-
New Orleans, 1974
"What's up, Doc?"
"Agh," Doc grunted, flicking up his middle finger towards Conrad. He chuckled.
"Always so grumpy. I'd hate to see your bedside manner," Conrad teased.
"Give Death a break," Hammer said from across the room, holding up a beer with a lopsided grin. "You wanna be on his good side anyway. Never know when you might need him."
Doc rolled his eyes and sunk into his chair not far from Barney. The last job was a success; good payout, and Barney could barely even see the layers of blood on his hands. He couldn't help but think about Lucie again. She always had a way of sneaking back into his mind. He wondered what she would be like with a group like those Expendables, but it was hard for him to picture. The group around him was ragtag and dark. They were the lowest they could get without being six feet under.
"You got that look in your eye again, brother," Conrad said as he plopped down besides Barney. "Must be thinking real hard about something."
Barney glanced over at him and huffed out an amused breath. "I ain't thinking at all."
Conrad perked a brow and laughed as he downed another chug of his beer. Hooked on a Feeling was playing over the radio in the background beneath the chatter of the growing team.
"Woodsman! Turn it up some, I like this one," Hammer called. Doc dropped his head to his hand and sighed.
"Seriously Barn, lay it on me. What's up?" Conrad asked, leaning forward and propping his elbows up on his knees. He held the beer in his fingers and met Barney's stoney stare.
"It's nothing, it's nothing," Barney said, waving him off.
"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?" Conrad asked. Barney stiffened.
"Always," he said after a moment, voice low and cracked.
Conrad nodded. Then he lifted his bottle.
"You know what they say, boys: keep it light 'till it's time to get dark. Then go pitch black."
"Hear, hear," Woodsman called from the background.
"You're one poetic son-of-a-bitch, I'll give you that," Hammer laughed. Conrad smiled.
"In this line of work, we take what we can get," he said.
"Speaking of work," Doc said, crossing his arms over his stomach as he sat back. "Do we have any ideas for our next job?"
"A few," Conrad said. "But we just got back. Kick your feet up! Relax a while! Anyone ever tell you it was a good thing to be able to take it easy once in a blue moon?"
Doc studied him and an eerie, sarcastic grin spread over his face. He didn't say anything. He let out a soft, heavy laugh. Barney rolled his eyes and chuckled.
This found family of his was strange and messed up. Despite having all of them at his side, he still felt a heavy absence where Lucie had once been. Time had made things a little bit better; it was more fuzzy, more static in its pain. It didn't swell like waves at high-tide to crash on the shore with bursts of rage and sprays of bullets. It was subtle and persisting, an echo in the back of his mind, bouncing off the walls of the cave he had buried himself in. The echo was getting softer, but there was nowhere for it to fully dissipate to. The sound of her laugh would follow him forever; the light of her smile would always cast his shadow.
"There's a black cloud over your head, man," Doc said from his spot across from him. Barney lifted his eyes to his and nodded slowly.
"We all have our days," he said quietly. Doc nodded. He didn't prod anymore. He knew better.
Conrad's phone rang and Barney spared him a tired glance as he stood to answer it. He was starting to feel a bit on edge about his friends leniency with the jobs they would take. Barney might have had a rotted heart, but he didn't want to become a hitman. The jobs they did had to have some kind of good attached. Maybe they were Expendable, but their loose morals weren't. If that was the only constant in his life, then so be it.
—-
Present Day, Mexico
Barney watched as Caesar, Luna, and Lee got geared up for the job from inside the truck. Everything about them reminded him of when he was younger- apt to go all in, ready for the risk, confident beyond credibility. He realized just how tired he was then. Maybe Tool had the right idea with retiring. How many people could he bury before he said enough was enough? He tried to remember why he had even kept the team going, but he realized that he never even considered disbanding it. Maybe it was time to pass on the reigns. Then again, he really had no idea what he wanted. All he knew for sure was that he wanted to stop seeing Lucie everywhere he looked. It had been years- decades- since she died in that jungle. Maybe he'd even gone a few years here and there without dreaming of her. Once Sammy wandered into Lee's life, though, it was hard to separate the two.
A knock on the window startled him from his thoughts. He turned and pushed open the door.
"Yeah?" He asked, looking Toll up and down.
"We got the layout. You ready to move in?" Toll asked, his square face set and his fuzzy five-o'clock shadow darkening his jaw.
"Born ready," Barney said, yanking the cigar out of his lips and tucking it away. He climbed out of the seat of the truck and slammed the door shut behind him. Everyone turned and looked at him the way a battalion of soldiers might look towards their commander. He swallowed and nodded.
"Let's make this quick and easy," he said to them, his eyes lingering on Lee. "I don't wanna lug any of your sorry asses home in a bodybag."
"Ain't nobody dying today, boss," Caesar said with a curt nod.
"Amen brother," Lee said, knocking his elbow against Caesar's.
"Not to get sentimental, ladies," Luna said, crossing her arms and smirking. Her upper lip curled up in that subtle, territorial way she had. "But if anyone can get this done, it's this lot. Let's get on with it."
Barney nodded and reached down to buckle up his vest. He had to put all of his complicated emotions on a shelf for the time being. There was no room for feelings on a battlefield, especially not one like this.
—-
Sammy climbed out of the car after Cap and smoothed down her dress again. Her camera was hanging from her neck, a heavy necklace, and her hair was down around her face. It was short and wavy and light enough not to bother her because of the buzzcut over her scar. Her chest was heavy suddenly, knowing that somewhere near her Bee could be hiding in the grasp of the Major. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.
"Gogh," Cap said, reeling in her attention. She turned and raised her brows, waiting for orders. "Take some pictures. Look your part."
Sammy nodded and lifted up the camera as Cap posed stoically with Bones and Angel. They all glanced around as Sammy snapped some photos, half-heartedly angling them as though she was trying to correct angles and lighting. She felt the weight of her knife beneath the dress, heavier than she was used to. She knew she had to act her part and keep her cool. The biggest giveaway to a lie was acknowledging it.
"Alright," Cap said, shifting and moving towards Sammy, "let me see."
Sammy opened up the album on the camera and leaned in towards Cap, flicking through them.
"It's busy. They're checking invitations at the door, but security is light on the outside. There's gonna be more eyes on the inside. If you see Bee, you give us the word, and we go together. Got it?"
Sammy nodded and clicked off the camera. She thought back to the hotel and the decision she had made for herself- she wouldn't put anybody else she loved in harm's way. If she saw Bee, she'd take care of it herself.
The hacienda was large; the property took up a portion of the jungle, and most of the farms and equipment had been decorated and repurposed to look more welcoming. The main entrance was grand, with a short staircase leading up to an arch between two sections of a building. It was bordered by vibrant plant life, and the tiles on the inside were expensive and caught the light from outside. The staff skittered about, carrying coats and trays of food and drinks. They were wearing tuxedos and bowties and freshly-shined shoes that kicked through the dirt as they tried to rush unseen from one place to the next. The entire place had an air of richness about it that made Sammy feel entirely out of place. Cap seemed to have no problem falling into her role; she held her head high and moved swiftly towards the entrance, unfazed by its daunting stone height and strength. Sammy rolled her shoulders back and followed behind them all, clicking photos every once in a while as she did. She caught Angel glancing sidelong at Bones a few times, a flirty smile on her lips. If Sammy didn't know any better, she'd think the three of them were having fun. That was apart of the game, though; if they didn't enjoy the rush, why would they do it?
The security guards at the door were stocky and muscular, dressed in tuxedos with dress-coats buttoned at their stomachs. They looked down their noses at everybody, and Sammy knew they would be hiding weapons somewhere beneath those layers of refined clothes. She flicked some hair out of her face and pulled her invitation from the front of her camera bag, where the extra pistol and ammo were hidden in a compartment folded and tucked away. Cap lead the charge, handing over her invitation with a practiced smile that just barely reached her eyes. All business.
"Go ahead," the guard said to her, flicking his chin towards the entrance. He looked over the other invitations and lingered on Sammy's for a moment while he looked her over. His eyes settled on the camera bag, and she felt another surge of ice cold uncertainty melt into her gut.
"My staff," Cap said, head tilted impatiently. "She's just an intern. If you please won't scare her away, we need someone to go on the coffee runs."
Bones chuckled and threw her head back. Sammy knew she was taking in the people around them, watching for any lingering eyes.
The guard huffed a fake laugh and waved her on. She tucked the invitation away and hurried to Cap, trying to play the part of an anxious, overworked and underpaid employee. She felt the guards eyes on her as they moved further into the building, burning holes in the back of her dress, and she couldn't tell if he suspected her of something or was just asserting his dominance as a big, scary, alpha-male type. She swallowed and brushed it off, letting the camera bag slip towards her back where it hung over her shoulder.
"You're doing fine," Angel said, slowing her pace so that she was in step next to her. "Keep an eye out."
Sammy nodded and fiddled with the camera. The inside of the hacienda was tall and overwhelming. On either side of her were two waterfalls, cascading from the wall into a pool of water that wound around the edge of the entrance room. Across from her, to her surprise, there was no wall; the building was almost like a facade, and it opened up to the jungle clearing. The grass was bright green, almost looking fake because it was so vibrant. Smaller houses decorated the land, renovated to have tall windows that stretched from floor to ceiling. A spiral staircase framed her view of the jungle-castle, and she glanced up and swallowed. There was a security guard stationed at the top looking down. Was he there to keep people out, or to keep someone in?
The house split off into actual rooms; one way was the kitchen, which was closed off to guests. Another way was a formal dining area, where the table was spread with luxurious foods and snacks and drinks. There was a ceiling over them, but like a dollhouse, the back was open to nature. She could see people roving around the gardens in their fancy clothes, all sour laughs and pompous haircuts.
"Woah," Bones said, raising her brows as she took in the scene.
"Woah is right," Cap grumbled, her lips pressed into a flat smile. "Come on, we have some-" she paused as a member of the staff strode by- "journalism to do."
Sammy held up the camera and snapped a picture. Cap, Bones, and Angel were framed against the invading jungle.
They made to move towards the sprawling yard, lining up along the shallow staircase.
"All art for auction will be in the main guest house," someone said, taking Sammy by surprise. She turned and pressed a polite smile to her face and tried to convince herself that she belonged. "Oh, and do be aware- it is tarantula season. Mind your step!"
The woman- tall and tan and blonde- smiled a wide shiny-toothed grin and bobbled off. Sammy shared a glance with Bones, who was already shuddering; she remembered how terrified Bones had been of the rats on their last mission together, and imagined that giant hairy spiders would not be much better.
"Main guest house," Cap said, turning to continue her descent to the path in the grass. "Well, let's find it."
Between the distant sounds of the jungle and the people chattering around her, Sammy could almost pretend she wasn't risking her life by being there. Maybe she was just on vacation. Maybe there was no risk at all.
The thought didn't last long, as nice as it was. She remembered her plan to finish this alone. At least it would be easy to get separated in the hacienda, she figured. It didn't seem like too bad a place to die, either. It was as good as any. Hopefully she'd catch wind of Bee soon, or the Major at the very least.
—-
Lee held the door open for Luna while Caesar rounded the car to meet her on her other side. They fit right in, just like Luna had predicted- nobody spared them a second glance as they made their way to the front entrance. Luna lead the charge with Lee and Caesar close at her heels. The place was nicer than she had expected, and she was expecting a lot. She was carrying a small purse over her shoulder and pulled out three invitations. She handed them to Lee to give to the guard at the door.
"Have a nice visit, Señora," the guard said kindly. She nodded politely and moved along into the main entrance. Caesar whistled.
"Damn, I wouldn't mind retiring to a place like this…"
Lee chuckled. "You? Retire? How would you afford a place like this then, huh? Bake sales?"
Luna rolled her eyes and kept moving, too focused on laying an eye on Sammy and her crew or Bee and the Major. Nobody was catching her eye.
"That might not even be the stupidest idea you've ever had," Caesar said, glancing around the place. "Box up some of my famous lasagna… Made with love, mmm-mm."
Lee shook his head and was about to comment when Luna snapped her fingers and raised a brow at them both. Lee pressed his lips together.
"Sorry, ma'am," Caesar said, fighting the urge to smile.
"Right, sorry," Lee added, crossing his arms behind his back.
"Don't get distracted," Luna said, eyeing the both of them like a teacher disciplining two unruly students.
"Ah, welcome!" A lady said, stealing their attention from each other. Luna looked her up and down; she was tall, tan, blonde, and all fake smiles like she was always trying to sell something. Luna had to fight the snarl spreading on her cheeks. She covered it with a nod and half-baked grin. "The art up for auction will all be in the main guest house. The auction is due to begin any moment now, so do hurry- but watch your step. It's tarantula season!"
She scuttled along, and her movements reminded Luna of a crab. Lee huffed out a laugh once she was out of earshot. Caesar shook his head and glanced anxiously around.
"Did she say tarantulas?" Caesar asked, his voice a couple octaves higher than usual.
"You scared of a spider, big man?" Lee asked.
Luna rolled her eyes and trudged onwards, along the path that she assumed would lead her to the main guest house.
—-
Barney was settled in on the north end of the hacienda perimeter, taking note of every guard on patrol that he saw and trying to keep his mind empty of Lucie. He wondered absently if anything had happened to Gunner. This entire situation was a mess, and he knew it was his fault. He'd gotten all sentimental and let his emotions control his decisions. All he could do was hope it wasn't too late to fix it all.
The hacienda was huge. Through the bushes that lined the edge of the property, he could make out half a dozen structures scattered around the green clearing. Sweat was dripping off the tip of his nose and he sniffed, scanning the place again. There was a big lake in the back center of the place, and a few people occasionally stopped along the edge of it in the time he'd been keeping watch. He didn't have a great vantage point from where he was, but he did have his old binoculars handy. There wasn't anyone he recognized, just some ritzy people dressed too nicely for the humidity and the company they kept. He scratched at his stumble and sighed.
He let his mind wander for a moment. If Lucie had lived all those years ago, what would she say to him now? Would she have been an Expendable? Would they have ended up together? Barney never imagined himself to be the marrying type, but that was mostly because of how big a piece of his heart had died along with her.
—-
New Orleans, 1975
"Barney, my man, I got something to confess," Conrad said, sinking into an old chair next to Barney while he fiddled with his bike. It was a good one- used, but he had saved the money from the last few jobs to get it and get any parts that needed replacing. She was a beauty, that was for sure. And he was almost done.
"Don't we all," Barney grunted, wiping his hands on an old rag before he tossed it down and pointed at the bike. "Ain't she a thing of beauty?"
"Yeah, stunning," Conrad said, and Barney furrowed his brows. If he didn't know any better, he'd say Conrad was anxious.
"Who died?" Barney asked. He was only half-joking.
"Nobody died," Conrad said, waving him off. "It's nothing like that."
"Well spit it out then," Barney said, propping his hands up on his hips.
"Alright, alright," Conrad said, rubbing his hands together and puffing out his cheeks as he sighed. "Well, when I got Lucie's tags for you-" Barney winced despite himself at the mention of her name- "I got in contact with some people we used to run with. You know, the 'Nam crew."
"Alright," Barney said, studying his friend carefully. There was a pit in his stomach.
"You remember, uh-" he dropped his head and ruffled his hair before he looked back up and finished. "You remember Dilly?"
"The red head?" Barney asked. He thought back and his mouth went dry as he remembered the way Lucie had embraced her. She had died for Dilly, her best friend.
"Yeah, the red head," Conrad echoed.
"What about her?" Barney asked, and his words were more rough than he had meant for them to sound.
"Well, we got to talking," Conrad went on, keeping his eyes level with Barney's. "We really hit it off. We've been seeing each other for a while."
"Seeing each other," Barney repeated, tasting the words in his mouth. For some reason, they tasted like metal to him- like blood. He couldn't help but scowl.
"She's in town, and I didn't wanna dance around it anymore. I know it's hard for you, but if you wanna see her-"
Barney turned and made his way to the door. His hands were tingling and numb. He felt Lucie around him, and she was sucking all the air out of the room, and his chest got tight. He couldn't breathe. He had tunnel vision. He just wanted to get the hell away from Stonebanks.
"Barn, look, you don't have to see her-"
Barney knocked open the front door of the garage and it slammed against the brick of the outside wall. A few passersby glanced in his direction and hurried along. He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to gasp for air, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to catch his breath. It felt like he'd been punched.
"Barn-"
Barney turned and was about to shove Conrad back into the bricks when he caught sight of her in the corner of his eye. She only looked a little bit older. Her hair was still red and caught the sun with a gentle shine. Her curls fell around her face and pale skin and freckles dotted her nose. Suddenly he was back in the jungle. He hesitated long enough for Conrad to get out of his way.
"Dilly," Barney said, the word falling off his tongue without his control. She blinked and tried to smile, but there were tears in her eyes. She took a step towards him.
"I've been wanting to talk to you-"she tried, but Barney took an instinctive step back and blinked. His mind was reeling. He thought it was impossible, but his chest felt even tighter. He wanted to run. He wanted to get away.
"Maybe now isn't the best time-" Conrad tried, but Dilly ignored him. In a second she had thrown herself against Barney's chest and wrapped her arms around his back. He held his arms up and away from her, confused, and looked down at the top of her head. Her hair was darker at the roots where the sun hadn't lightened it yet. She smelled like lavender soap and cigarettes. His head was spinning.
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I've missed her so much, so I can only imagine-"
Barney grabbed her by the arms and tugged her away from him. He didn't realize how hard he had grabbed her until he felt the onlookers watching them, concerned. He swallowed and let her go, and his eyes were starting to sting.
"Barney-" she tried, her voice delicate and sweet. He couldn't stand it. He couldn't even look back at Conrad. He turned and hurried away from the garage, one hand grasping his chest as he picked up speed. The entire world was suddenly flat, but he was running through it, and every car that whizzed by was a bullet and every distant voice was a command he couldn't make out. He reached up his other hand to cover his ear, but it barely helped. After some time- he couldn't tell how long, because minutes meant nothing suddenly- he found a narrow alley and ducked into it. He leaned against the broken brick wall and clutched at his chest, heaving for air. Was he having a heart attack? Was he dying? He had no idea. All he knew was that it hurt. He didn't want it. He knocked himself on the head a few times and tried to ground himself through the pain, but nothing was working.
"Fuck," he said, and in his mind's eye he could see Lucie running to Dilly and wrapping her in a tight hug. The next thing he saw was Lucie's vacant stare, and all he could manage to do was turn and slam his fist into the wall with a sudden force. He didn't feel the bone shatter at first, but he stumbled backwards until his back hit the opposite wall and then he cried. He looked up at the sky and cried.
—-
Present Day, Mexico
Barney felt his bad thumb twitch and shifted in his spot in the dirt. After a moment he reached for his binoculars and set them up against his eyes, scanning the visible area for anything that looked interesting. He was hoping it would all be over soon and that it would be as clean as it could be. Then he could finally bury his past back where it belonged: behind him.
He scanned the lakeside and stopped suddenly when an interesting color piqued his attention. He furrowed his brows and readjusted himself. His mind had to be playing tricks on him. There was no way-
And the she turned. She turned, and he felt his chest tighten like it had all those years ago. Her hair was cropped a little shorter than it had been the last time he'd seen her, but he'd never forget those blood-splatter freckles that decorated the bridge of her nose. Her name left this mouth in a whisper, too quiet for even the wind to hear.
"Dilly."