What If... The Cobra Grabbed the Wrong Meerkat?
A Lion King/Timon & Pumbaa fanfic
by DecaTilde
We've all seen the story a quarter century ago, about how the guard of the back gate of a colony of meerkats abandons his post, resulting in the kidnapping of the Duke's daughter by an invading cobra, and his getting banished for it. And through his banishment, he meets a lonely warthog with a gas problem, and befriends him. The two friends would later rescue the meerkat princess and return her to her home. The guard would then be offered a choice between power, riches and love (anything in the world he could ever want) or being the warthog's friend. He chooses the latter, and begins a worry-free life outside the colony. At least, that's how it's played out in one universe. But in this universe... Well, let's read the story and find out, shall we?
Chapter 1 - What It's Like Outside the Colony
Once upon a time, in an ordinary meerkat colony, the Duke Meerkat left his daughter Tatiana home so he could go out on duty. In fact, duties were important to any meerkat who lived there, including the colony tailor, the colony bookseller, the grocer, and the Royal Meerkat Guard. And, as always, the Captain of the Guard, who saluted the Duke on his way out, guarded the front gate of the colony. While on the other side, the guard of the back gate, Timon Berkowitz, was daydreaming about Tatiana, since he had an unobstructed view of the castle from the back gate, and more importantly, Tatiana's window. But his duty of guarding the back gate was the most tedious of all, for nobody ever came to the back gate. Yet all dutiful meerkats there took their duties very seriously.
While at her window, Tatiana breathed in the fresh air.
"I wonder what it would be like outside the colony," she said to herself. "A whole world to explore. No walls. No sitting around, doing nothing. And best of all, no worries."
Tatiana then looked around outside the meager surroundings of the castle.
"But as usual, Fred outside is guarding the castle," she continued, as she saw Fred outside the castle gate. "Perhaps I can kill a little time. And it's about time I got to work on painting a pretty picture."
She got inside her room, got out her canvas, and painted a picture of bugs in a bowl.
Time had passed, and she hummed "Ta-Ra-Ra Boom-De-Ay," while still painting. Suddenly, the sound of screaming meerkats outside the castle broke the silence, and she took notice.
"What's going on out there?" she asked herself.
She peered out her window and saw that a cobra was invading.
"Oh, dear," she gasped. "What's a cobra doing in the colony?"
The cobra got a little sidetracked, and broke into the Berkowitz house.
"Oh, no!" she screamed. "The back gate guard lives there!"
The cobra slithered out of the house, with Timon screaming inside its coils, and carried him away from the colony.
Tatiana rushed out of her room, and out of the castle, but as soon as she exited, she saw Fred sleeping on the job.
"Fred!" she shouted, getting his attention. "Get up, you lazy jokester of a meerkat! Timon's been kidnapped!"
"Timon?!" He repeated. "What happened?"
He looked around and saw that the cobra had left piles of debris in its wake, and the meerkats came out of hiding, scared.
You see, in this universe, the cobra didn't kidnap the princess. Instead, it kidnapped the guard.
Later, Tatiana inspected the mess inside Timon's house. She saw that there was the box of candied scorpions he bought for her, and a bouquet of flowers.
"I don't believe it," she thought, picking up the box., as she came into realization.
She went outside the house, and was met with the entire colony, including the Royal Guard and Timon's mother in front.
"Mrs. Berkowitz," she addressed, "your son was preparing to take me out on a date, to impress me."
"My son's in love with you?" Timon's mother realized.
"So that's why Timon abandoned his guard post," the Captain added. "His capture is the result of his failure to perform his meerkat duty. He should be banished from the colony for this!"
"Now, now," Tatiana assured, "take it easy, Captain."
"You sound like you're defending him," the Captain replied.
"I am, Captain," Tatiana admitted, "because... I love him."
The Guard members gasped in shock.
The Duke's rickshaw, along with the four meerkats carrying it, returned, and stopped in front of his daughter. He hopped out to greet her, giving her a hug.
"Oh, my precious sugarplum," he addressed. "Thank goodness, you're all right. I came as soon as I heard about the cobra attack."
"I'm fine, father," Tatiana replied. "However, the cobra did kidnap one of our own."
"Who?"
"It was Timon, your Excellency," the Captain answered. "He abandoned his post, and wanted to impress her."
This news shocked the Duke.