Chapter 30

Flick often considered herself an optimistic person, able to find hope in the gravest of situations. That was what had gotten her through her first month as a Magical Girl. Learning that they were zombies, would one day turn to Witches, and that their fates depended on one girl looping time had almost been too much to handle. To get through that time, Flick had held onto as much hope as she was able. Since then, she had tried to hold onto that mindset.

But this was bad. Real bad. Flick had allied with over a dozen Magical Girls, and they had still not been enough to fight the Magius head on. Mifuyu was brainwashed by an Uwasa, and the rest of them had been scattered in different cells, put into pairs to conserve space. Yachiyo was in her cell, but she had no idea where the others were. Their soul gems had been taken as well, and if they were taken too far, they would all practically be dead.

Besides, even if they did escape, Eve was hours away from hatching at best, and Flick's presence in Kamihama was what had caused it to accelerate. In trying to save this universe, she might have doomed it. She had no idea what to do next, and it wasn't helping that she hadn't heard from the Law of Cycles since arriving.

But she couldn't despair. Not now. There were too many people counting on her.

"We have to get out of here," Flick said. Her eyes were scanning for any potential escape, not that she expected to have much luck. "If we can find Mifuyu on her own, we can talk to her and separate her from the Uwasa."

She had expected Yachiyo to agree with her, desperate to save the girl she obviously loved. Yet she was met with silence. Turning around, Flick saw Yachiyo still kneeling down against the back well of their cell.

"Yachiyo?"

Yachiyo shook her head. "I can't save her," she whispered, soft enough that Flick had to step closer. "My wish caused this. She got close to me again, and I doomed her."

Her wish? Flick realized that, despite having spent around the same amount of time around Yachiyo as she had with the Mitakihara girls before they fought Walpurgisnacht, she still knew so little about the older girl. She had sensed a coldness, yet that seemed to fold around the people she cared about. Just what had happened in her past?

Telling Ai to pay attention in case anyone approached their cell, Flick put all her focus on Yachiyo, sitting down next to her. "What do you mean?" she asked. "What was your wish?"

Flick tried to meet Yachiyo's eyes, only for her to look away. "There's no need for me to answer that."

Right, this wasn't going to be easy. "You remember my wish, right?" Flick asked. "When I told you about my first time being a Magical Girl?"

"You wished for your family to have never been found by the necromancer," Yachiyo said. "You made that wish to save your mom, who he had kidnapped."

Flick nodded. "That wish ended up putting me far away from my family. I felt so alone . . ." The next words felt nearly impossible to dredge from her soul. It was a secret she had told no one else. Still, Yachiyo needed to hear it. "There were times, even, when I regretted my wish."

For a moment, Yachiyo seemed to not know how to respond. She frowned, then opened and shut her mouth a few times before speaking. "Because you couldn't see them."

"Yeah." Flick swallowed the lump in her throat. "How terrible is that? I saved my mother, and I still wasn't happy. Part of me just wanted to forget it all." The memories made her tear up even now. "I'm a selfish daughter. I would have preferred to hate my mom thinking she ran out on us rather than know what she gave up for me."

"Only a part of you," Yachiyo said. "Am I right?"

"That doesn't matter!" Flick found her deepest thoughts coming to the surface. "Even if it was for only a second, the fact that I wanted to put my wants over my own mothers happiness at all is evil. How can she love me after that?"

Her own words had turned into a choked sob by the end. Dammit, she was supposed to be helping Yachiyo, not pouring her own trauma onto her.

Sure enough, she felt Yachiyo's hand on her shoulder. "You fought for her, Flick. In the end, however you felt, you defeated Walpurgisnacht in order to see her again. And your wish held true. We're bound to our wishes . . ."

It clicked. "You blame yourself," Flick said. "For what?"

This time, it was Yachiyo's turn to slump in grief. "Kanae . . . Mel . . ."

Rather than speak, Flick waited until Yachiyo was ready to continue. It took a moment, but she began to explain without prompting.

"When Kyubey found me," Yachiyo said, "I was already working as a model. The industry is incredibly competitive, and I didn't think I could survive in such a world. So my wish was to survive."

Like Mami's, Flick thought, but in a very different context.

"Not long after, the other girls in my troup had quit or been laid off." Yachiyo took a large breath, then released it before continuing. "I was the only one left. The only survivor."

Already, Flick had an idea as to where this was going. Still, she didn't interrupt Yachiyo. This was her story to tell. Flick only hoped it wasn't as terrible as she was imagining.

"I managed for a while as a Magical Girl," Yachiyo said. "I met Mifuyu early on, and we were partners. Then Kanae joined us. The three of us grew close, and often spent time together at Mikazuki Villa. We were happy. Then one day, there was a Witch too powerful for us to take on."

Yachiyo seemed lost in her memories as she went on. "Mifuyu and I had been restrained by the Witch. It was going to kill us, but Kanae got in the way. She stopped the attack . . . causing her soul gem to shatter in the process."

Shit. Flick had never seen what happened when a soul gem shattered, but she knew the truth. For someone who had been a close friend to just drop dead, with seemingly no injuries . . . Flick couldn't imagine how she would have responded if it was one of her friends.

Without thinking, Flick wrapped her arms around Yachiyo. "It wasn't your fault," she murmured. "Kanae made her choice because she wanted to protect you. Both of you."

"No!" Yachiyo pushed Flick away, and she had to catch herself before falling on her face. "Kanae's final words were that I couldn't die! She sacrificed herself to save me! My wish to survive, it comes at the cost of others' lives!"

"That's not—" Flick began,

"It wasn't just Kanae," Yachiyo interrupted. "Mel, too. Mifuyu and I had formed a group with Momoko, Tsuruno, and Mel. Five Magical Girls, and one of us still died. Worse, Mel didn't just die. She became a Witch!"

Flashes of memories ran through Flick's head. The pain of her soul tearing apart, wanting to bring a wretched truth onto the world by killing all she could, despairing as her friends fought her inside her own labyrinth. She repressed a shudder.

Yachiyo didn't seem to notice, focused on her own past. "The Witch we found was too strong, so I tried to handle it myself. But Mel jumped in, using her magic to chase the Witch away. She used so much magic, and we had no grief seeds . . . we couldn't save her. Do you know what she said at the end?"

Flick grimaced. "I can guess . . ."

"She thought saving me was good luck." The admission was so soft, Flick barely heard it even from her position right next to Yachiyo. "She sacrificed herself for me too. My wish killed her and Kanae both. And now it has cursed Mifuyu . . ."

A dozen thoughts swirled in Flick's mind. What was she supposed to say?" She wanted to help, but the reality was she barely had her own life together. How could she lighten the burdens other people felt when her own threatened to crush her?

In the end, she could only say what she believed. "That isn't true."

Yachiyo's head snapped to face her. "Didn't you hear—"

"I heard everything you said." Flick took Yachiyo's hands in her own, squeezing tightly. "I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. Even so, you can't blame yourself. Kanae and Mel would never want that."

"Kanae and Mel should still be alive!" Yachiyo snapped.

"They should." Flick didn't let go of her hands. "Even so, you can't take their choices from them."

Yachiyo frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"We'll never forget you. I promise." Those had been Flick's own words, spoken to a girl who had made a selfless wish so they would have the magic to bring Madoka back from her state as a Witch. That wish had killed her.

Pace . . .

"When our friends sacrifice themselves," Flick said, "it's never fair. No one should be put in the position to make that choice. But we never force those choices upon them. They make the most selfless decision they could, to give themselves up so another may live. Kanae and Mel weren't compelled by any wish. They made their choice because they care about you. They found someone worth dying for."

Tears flooded Yachiyo's eyes. "I'm not worth it!"

Once again, Flick hugged Yachiyo, and this time she didn't push her away.

"You were to them. Mifuyu feels the same. She loves you, Yachiyo."

Yachiyo tensed in her arms. "How do you know?"

"Because I feel the same way toward another girl. I would give up everything for her in a heartbeat."

She missed Avalon so much. The one who had saved her countless times, who was incredible in so many ways. What would she do in this situation?

Not give up, that's for sure.

"I'll prove it to you," Flick said, "I'll prove your wish isn't killing anyone."

"How?"

Flick knew she had to follow through on her next words. This was a promise she could never break.

"By bringing back Mifuyu. Whatever it takes, I'll save her."

"Flick . . ." Yachyio hugged her tighter, and Flick rubbed her back while she finally let out all the grief she had bottled up for so long.

Eventually, Yachiyo was out of tears. She sniffled and rubbed her eyes, ending the hug. "Thank you, Flick."

Flick smiled. "Thank me once we have Mifuyu back, okay?"

"One more thing." Yachiyo met Flick's eyes. "You aren't selfish, Flick. You're the most selfless person I know."

The words struck through Flick's heart. Some of the others back at home had said the same thing. And yet, her Doppel's words came back to her.

"You try to come off as a selfless hero, but you've always been a self-centered bitch."

"Dammit," Flick muttered.

"Flick?"

"I'm not selfless," Flick found herself saying. "I have to help people. If I didn't I'd never forgive myself. It's all for my own gratification."

Now Yachiyo was the one taking her hands. "If that was true, you wouldn't have come here. You already did enough for the people in your universe. When you finish here, you'll have to come home. Where's the gratification in that?"

"Gaining pity from the Mitakihara Magical Girls with your sob story. They even let you take charge at times! You got to be the hero, leading them all into danger so you could feel special."

It was a lie. Her Doppel had been lying. So why were her words still affecting Flick?!

Flick could feel darkness swirling in her soul gem, even though it wasn't anywhere in sight. Her Doppel continued to whisper to her. She was worthless. She had no hope of winning here. Why did she try to imitate her mother? Joselyn Chambers was perfect. Everything she did was to progress the cause she believed in. What did Flick believe?

"You know the answer. You've always believed in the connections you make with others."

The words had Flick whirling around. They hadn't come from Yachiyo. No, they came from a new presence. Someone was standing at the other end of the cell, and while the minor transparency in her figure signalled that she was projecting her mind and wasn't there in person, Flick didn't care. Seeing her again was more than enough.

"Avalon?!"