I have no idea what this is
Hammond had always been a big kid.
"Damn near tore your mama in two." His father would joke when talking about his large size.
The other kids had been intimidated by him. Frightened away by his large size. He hadn't understood why at first —thought there was something wrong with him, until he'd heard the other skaa kids talk about how scary he was. It hurt. He had wanted some friends, anyone really, other than his ma and pa to talk to.
He's eight years old when he accidentally bumps into a nobleman. The man's guard back-hands him, sending him sprawling on the dirty ground. He's choking on ash and a restricted airway as the rest of his guards join in—throwing kicks to his side, his back, his face.
"Enough." The words have barely left the man's lips when they step away, immediately following their retreating lord.
Hammond lays there, trying to catch his breath. The other skaa move around him, carrying on with their day. There's a strange feeling in his stomach that's growing, moving through his body and giving him a foreign sense of strength.
I wonder if pain really is all in the mind? The young boy thinks to himself as he struggles to his back. If I can trick myself to feel no pain. He wills his mind to believe that his back is fine, his ribs aren't bruised and the swelling in his face isn't throbbing— and the pain is starting to lessen.
Well, would you look like that?
"Do you need some help?" The soft voice calls him from mind. He panics and thinks the pain will come back if he doesn't focus it away, but he surprisingly feels better than he did a few seconds ago.
Hammond glances up and he sees a girl looking at him in concern. Her clothes are just as drab and soot stained as his but, unlike him, her face is clean. Her dark hair is held back and Hammond has a brief thought of how pretty she is. He blushes at his thoughts.
"No I'm-" He means to stand but his ribs are tender and he stops clutching at them by folding in half. An arm comes around him, or rather tries to. The girl's arms are too short for his large frame. She notices and shifts her hands to his arm, wrapping it around her shoulders.
Hammond is careful to not lean all his weight on the girl. He's mother says he's as heavy as a cow.
"Thank you," Hammond pushes out through clenched teeth. It's not as painful as before. In fact, his head has stopped pounding and his back is no longer tender but his ribs still shift painfully.
The girl hums in response.
They move silently but quickly through the streets by avoiding the crowded paths. By the time his home is in view, he feels normal. The pain, a subdued nearly forgotten thing. His arm remains around her.
"How do you know where I live?" Hammond asks, the thought having not occurred to him till that moment. He turns and sees the girl's face a bright red. Before she can answer, the door swings open and his mother stops at the bruised sight of him.
"Hammond! What happened?"
He doesn't answer. They all know how he got them. His mother reaches forward to support him. He's about to push her away and insist he's fine when an intense numbing pain washes over him. His vision goes white, darkness at the edge of his vision. He stays conscious but loses his balance, nearly taking the girl down with him.
His mother is fast and catches him. The two of them move him through the tiny house to the small corner he uses as his bed. He's laid down and blinks at the stained ceiling.
The pain is calling for him to sleep. To forget. He's about to succumb but not before he hears his mother's parting words.
"Thank you Mardra. Tell your mother I'll see her tomorrow."
A week later, Hammond learns he's an allomancer. His parents tell him it's a secret. He can't use it or else they'd come and get him. He can't tell anyone. He wants to ask if his new friend Mardra counts but he knows his parents mean anyone. He agrees and his parents sigh in relief.
It's a tense household from that day on.
Hammond is nine years old when he gets into his first fight.
"Mardra," Hammond calls out to his friend. The girl turns and smiles at him as he jogs towards her. Her face is stained from sweeping the ash from the streets but her smile is bright and warm when he moves to her side.
"Hello Hammond."
He smiles. He likes Mardra. She isn't intimidated by his size. She loves how big he is since apparently, he gives very good hugs. He'd blushed to his roots the first time she'd said that. She also doesn't mind how their conversations sometimes turn to him asking unanswerable questions.
"Do you ever think about the fact that the people around you have this image or idea about you that's completely different from how you see yourself?"
Mardra smiles and shakes her head. "No, I don't. Do you?"
Hammond begins his rambling.
"How's your sister?" he asks.
Mardra sighs. "She's better. A bit weak but she's healing. It's all thanks to your mother really."
They're nearing their neighbouring homes when three older kids stop them on their path. The road is crowded with people heading to their homes after hours of labour. Hammond recognises them immediately. He instinctively steps in front of Mardra.
"Hello," Hammond greets them politely. The three boys were part of an undercover crew that worked in Luthadel. Orphans with no home and desperate to make money. He hates fighting, finds it stupid but these kids are known for picking fights and causing trouble.
"Look's it here boys," the little leader of the group crows. "It's the baby koloss."
Hammond winces at the nickname. It's a name he'd been given when some random comment of him being as big as a koloss— though the person had never seen one, only heard of how big they were— was made and everyone of their age agreed. He'd cried his eyes out and had only calmed down when his father came home and wrapped him in his arms.
"We're not looking for trouble," he says calmly. There's a hand on his back, a bunched up fist holding his shirt.
"Leave us alone," Mardra snarls despite how her hand on him shook.
One of them snorts as they move towards them. They're being backed up into an alley and Hammond starts to panic. His hand moves back and pushes Mardra completely behind him.
The leader steps forward and it's Mardra's panicked sound that drives him forward. He isn't sure if it's instinctive or not but when he swings his arm at the twelve year old's face, the boy is dropped immediately. His friends pause and stare disbelieving at the boy on the floor, bleeding from the head. It's a tense pause that Hammond takes advantage of by grabbing Mardra's hand and rushing out of the alley. They immediately disappear into the moving crowd.
He's not really thinking as he moves swiftly, the staggering image of flowing blood replaying in his mind.
A hand slaps at his arm repeatedly. It doesn't hurt, he barely feels it but it does get his attention. "Hammond! You're hurting me."
He stops and drops her wrist. Mardra pulls it to her chest. There's a red handprint visible and he winces. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" He trails off. They walk home in silence.
Three days later, Inquisitors are in the area.
Three days later, his parents are dead.
Three days later, he joins a crew.
He's twenty years old when he meets Mardra again. He sees her on the street, carrying a bundle of clothes in her arms. He's heard that she's working for one of the noble families. Waiting on one of their daughters. She's as beautiful as he remembers. He wants to move and greet her. Her, the only friend he'd had.
He can't. He has blood on his hands and he doesn't wish to paint her red. He moves to leave but she sees him. She sees him and she's running after him.
"Hammond!"
He can get away. Leave before she's close but he doesn't. He stops and waits and when her arms are around him in a tight embrace, he feels tears prickle his eyes.
"Hammond," she gasps out. "You idiot! Where have you been?"
He's twenty four when he marries the love of his life.
He's twenty six when she tells him she's pregnant. He's work is dangerous, he's making enemies and she's not safe. So he moves his family to a village outside of Luthadel. The crew needs him, needs his skill, so he tells her to say he works in the garrison. He can tell it isn't ideal but he has to keep them safe.
He's twenty seven when he's son is born. He's a carbon copy of his father. His father's genes, his grandfather's genes are strong.
"Nine months and he came out looking exactly like you." Mardra is exhausted, her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead but she's never looked more beautiful to him. He kisses her then kisses his son's forehead. She works as a seamstress but she has to stay home with their son so Hammond leaves once more to earn money to keep them out of Luthadel. He misses his son's first laugh, first word, first steps but they're safe, they're safe and that's all that matters, all that he can offer.
Kelsier's arrested and he's earned enough money to support them for a year. His son doesn't know him at first. It takes a while but soon, they're spending time together as a family. His son calls him 'pa' and he gets to spend time with his wife. It's a good life but they're skaa. They need more money. So he leaves. His son cries, heavy sobs as he says goodbye. Mardra, even though her eyes are watering, doesn't let a tear fall. She kisses him goodbye and holds back their son as he desperately tries to reach for him.
He rarely gets time to visit. Doesn't want to risk them being found out. But he's son's turning ten and he wants to be present for at least one name day. He's only able to stay for the day. He pretends it's all worth it. Even when Mardra cries herself to sleep.
Kelsier's back and he has a plan. A dangerous stupid plan but worth the reward. He visits home once more. When he opens the door to find out his wife is pregnant, he cries.
The Lord Ruler is dead but Kelsier's dead too. Kelsier is dead and a noble sits on the throne. A noble sits on the throne yet they're under siege.
Even now his family is not safe, so he has to send them away.
The world is saved. His family is safe. He's carrying his daughter, his arm is around his wife and his son's hand is on his arm. But they don't know him. He doesn't know them.
The world is saved, his family is safe. If only it was that simple.
The crying wakes him up.
The shack they're staying in does not fight off the cold of the night. This new world has included new weather. It's been cold for the last few weeks. Spook had ordered for those still waiting in the caves for their homes to be built, to share with others as the weather grew colder. More blankets had been knit and shared with the population.
Hammond blinks the sleep from his eyes. His eyelashes brush against Mardra's bushy hair and he pulls back his face from her neck. His left arm is numb under her weight and his right is still wrapped around her. It takes him a few seconds to think through what had woken him up and that's when the soft cry in the adjacent room reaches his ears.
Mardra moans softly when he slowly removes his arm from under her. He pauses as she settles back in. Her cheeks are still stained. They'd had a heavy talk the previous night, where Hammond had begged for forgiveness. Forgiveness for the early years of neglect, of not being there. She'd argued that she understood. How they'd had a better life than most skaa because of it. He'd apologised nonetheless.
The floor is cold when he steps down but he quickly leaves the room and enters the one next.
Aila is sitting up, her knees drawn up to her chest. Tears stream down her face and her six year old body shakes as she suppresses her sobs. Edgard has his arms around her, trying to soothe her.
"It's okay 'La. The monsters are gone now."
Aila turns and presses her face into his chest. Edgard lifts her and settles her into his lap. His hands hold her tightly as he rocks them from side to side. The whimpering quiets down after a few minutes. Hammond feels his heart squeeze in his chest. With an age difference of eleven years, he hadn't expected them to be as close. There's a nagging thought that he pushes to the back of the mind.
The door creaks and his son looks up.
Mardra's right. Edgard is a carbon copy of him. From how he furrows his brow and narrows his eyes when he sees him standing at the doorway, to how he raises an eyebrow in a perfect disgruntled imitation of his father— it stings, because Hammond can tell that he isn't wanted or needed.
"I've got this," Edgard whispers.
Hammond wants to say more—offer more— but Edgard has already turned his attention back to his sister.
Hammond knows a dismissal when he sees one.
Hammond watches them at breakfast. Mardra is moving around the kitchen, cutting up vegetables and mixing herbs while Aila sits on the seat and watches her as she sings a song. Edgard is helping his mother around the kitchen. Mardra joins in on Aila's song, their voices crude and off-key but beautiful to listen to. Edgard pretends to be irritated but joins in as well. If Hammond didn't know any better, he would think they were all mistborn from how they fluidly moved. Mardra would step forward but Edgard was already edging away to place the plates on the table that Aila had already arranged.
They have a pattern, a way of doing things that doesn't include him. He steps into the kitchen and Aila stops singing.
"Papa!" she exclaims. She lifts her arms in the known 'up' sign and Hammond is quick to acquiesce. He kisses both her cheeks with loud smacks that make her giggle.
"Papa, stop!" she gasps out in between giggles. Her laugh is infectious and soon everyone in the room is laughing.
He settles down on his seat and Aila makes herself comfortable on his lap. He watches Mardra and Edgard move around, bringing the food to the table. Aila pokes at his face and he endeavours to make different silly faces with each poke. She laughs at all of them.
They start serving the food and Hammond makes Aila a plate. He places a boiled egg on hers but Mardra and Edgard both speak up, "She doesn't like eggs."
Hammond freezes. "Right," he mumbles out and transfers the egg to his plate, still empty. Hammond starts to feed his daughter but she shakes her head. She's a big girl, she can eat by herself. So Hammond prepares his own plate.
Edgard starts talking about a boy named Senlin and Hammond asks, "Who's Senlin?"
Edgard's mouth tightens. "My best friend."
"I didn't know you had a best friend."
It's apparently the wrong thing to say because Edgard can't hold back his scathing remark. "How would you?"
It's a quiet breakfast after that. Even Aila doesn't speak.
"I need time off," Hammond says to Spook.
The boy looks up from the pile of papers that scatter his table. Inks stains his cheeks and Hammond has a brief flash of Elend, hair dishevelled, clothes and face stained as he worries over document after document, sometimes pausing to discuss obscure topics with him while Vin frowns in the corner of the room. It's a painful memory that hurts like a bruise. Healed but still painful if pressed too much.
"I'm sorry?"
"I need time off," Hammond insists. "I need to spend some time with my family."
Spook looks at him with a certain look in his eyes that says he understands what Hammond means exactly.
"Of course Ham. There's no war looming, so I believe our General can get all the time he needs for himself."
He's a stay-at-home husband. While Mardra goes to continue earning money from being a seamstress, Hammond stays home with the kids. He's one of the main heroes and a member of The Lord Mistborn's council, he still has a laugh every time he thinks of the title, so he still brings in money.
It's a peaceful life. One he'd never thought he'd ever get to live. He has a second chance and he wants to make it count.
Mardra decides to take Aila with her one day to visit a client. She has a daughter Aila's age and play date was arranged. Hammond decides to get some time with his son.
They're walking down the road. People who pass nod in acknowledgement when he passes. He's embarrassed by the attention and his son can tell.
"Why are you embarrassed? You're a hero." There's a tone of awe and pride stained with an edge of bitterness that he recognizes.
"Maybe so." He leads them towards the field right outside the caves. "But," he continues when they sit down on the grass, "what exactly is a hero? We did some terrible things because they needed to be done. We nearly ended the world in the process."
"But the world didn't end," Edgard says, staring at the field of flowers. "All that you did led to this right now. And that's all that matters." There's a sign of resignation with his words.
"I'm sorry." Hammond begins. "I wasn't around a lot. Was barely there actually."
Edgard tenses. "I understand why you had to. What you did was dangerous and we wouldn't have been safe. Your work was more important. I'm sorry for what I said last week, it was childish."
Hammond feels tears prickle his eyes. Aila has been lucky in when she was born, right at the time of Kelsier's plan. It meant she got to spend almost four years of her early life with him, only interrupted when he'd left with Elend to conquer other cities. That was more time that he'd ever spent with son. His son who is his height at seventeen and was more of his mother than he realised.
"No, it wasn't childish, son. You have every right to be mad at me. I wasn't there. And even if the work I was doing was important, it doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be hurt by my actions. One thing you are wrong about is the fact that my work is more important than you, your mother and Aila. You are what I love the most in the world, you three are my heart and I'm sorry I hurt you. You're allowed to be angry. Just know that I'm here now. I'm not leaving. Ever again. I just hope I'm not too late."
Silent tears are running down his son's cheeks and Hammond is quick in wrapping his arms around arm.
"I'm so sorry for leaving you," Hammond whispers in his hair. "I love you so much and I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you."
They sit in silence, Hammond running his fingers through his hair.
"Come on. I think it's time you formally meet the man you're named after."
Let's pretend there was too much going on in the years between the books to talk about all they needed to talk about.
Also, you can't convince me Hammond wouldn't name his son after Breeze, lol