Oi work 'ard on moi fics and draw inspiration from only the best sources available. Ooarr, where be moi bloody cider? This fic be brought to you by RSPCA for everytime oi be threatening that useless cunt Lucky with this double barrel shotgun they have to be paying me to stop.
One day in the colourful town of Lazytown, Johnny Rotten's gay retarded cousin Robbie was scheming ways to eliminate Sporticus and corrupt the town's youth while masturbating.
"That asswipe Sporticus... always gettin' in the way of my plans every fucking time..." Moaned Robbie. "With his... hot ass... and... his... Irresistable... BULGE!"
Robbie came over a cheeseburger. "That's the special sauce done." Said Robbie putting a bun over the burger. Robbie picked up the burger, gobbled it up and continued to plot against Sporticus.
"How is it that I can't conquer Lazytown?" Contempated Robbie. "The population is only eight and the only hero doesn't even have super powers!" Robbie suddenly felt pathetic but then again as villians go Robbie was just a big joke. "I can't give up!" Said Robbie. "Just think how badly my reputation will suffer if I can't take over such a puny town like this!" Robbie plotted some more until an idea had finally hit his head.
"I know!" Declared Robbie "But I'll need a good disguise for it to work!"
Robbie looked through the tubes to see the selection of disguises on display. Robbie looked at the tube containing a ghost costume "Too racist!" Next tube he checked contained a gay bondage outfit "If you think I'm gonna say too gay, then you're wrong! The reason why I'm not wearing it is because it gets really cold in winter and I don't want my dick to shrivel before I do Ziggy up the ass." Robbie moves to the next tube, this one contains a printed T-shirt that reads I'm not Robbie Rotten! "Brilliant! This has to be my best disguise yet!"
Meanwhile in Lazytown Stephanie was annoyed because the population of Lazytown were absolutley lazy little shits and they didn't want to play with her. "What wrong, Steph?" Said her uncle, the mayor. "The other puppets don't want to play with me!" Replied Stephine. "Well, unfortunatly I can't force them to go out anymore." Said the Mayor. "I still got the NSPC breathing down my throat from the last time!" "But Uncle I think..." "I don't give a wet shit what you think!" Then the mayor walked off back to city hall.
Meanwhile inside the airship Sportacus was fliping about like a dog on a sugar high because that's what he does up there all fucking day I'm dead serious! Then his shines and dramaticly states "Someone's in trouble!" He then flips out of the airship falling thousands of feet. He landed the mayor's fucking fat ass to break his fall. "Sportacus, watch where you land!" Shouted the Mayor. "Sorry! It won't happen again." Apologized Sportacus. "I'll have you deported for this!" Said the disgruntled fat shit.
Sportacus walks up to Stephanie and says "What seems to be the trouble?" "No one wants to play outside with me!" Stephine whined. "I'll soon fix that!" Determined Sportacus. But before Sportacus put his plan into action a guy wearing a T shirt reading I'm not Robbie Rotten greeted him.
"Hello kind sir!" He says with a clearly diabolical grin stretching from ear to ear. "I'm new in town and I'm not Robbie Rotten, whoever that is!" Sportacus says "Sportacus the above average hero of Lazytown at your service!" "Ah Sportacus, I've heard of you! It's an honour to meet you! As much as I like to go into a bit more detail about myself but I'm violently ill and I need treatment!" Stephine bursts into the conversation. "The medicine shop is that way. Mister!" Said Stephine as she points to a direction. "Why thank you" Said the stranger. "I'll find some way to repay you two!"
"Okay, back to business!" Said Sporticus and starting jumping all over place and generally show off like the vain self-satisfaction hounding asshole he is.
A montage began and one the godforsaken songs began playing in the background. Inside Ziggy's house, Ziggy was risking tooth decay and type 2 diabetes by shoveling a truck load of sugary shit in his face. But then Sportacus broke in through the window, grabbed Ziggy by the capes and chucked his chubby ass out through window. Once outside Ziggy cries in pain because got many nasty cuts from the sharp glass. At Stingy's house he was counting and stacking up his money but sportacus breaks in, kicks the huge money pile over and grabs Stingy. In Trixie's house, Trixie was practised her english so she'll finally be able to pronunce the luh sound while learning how to drive because she's terrble at it, then Sportacus broke in and took the english and driving books and pisses and shits between them before slamming them shut and grabbing Trixie. At Pixel's house, Pixel was beating his black cock off while a hundred of gay porn flims were playing all at once on the load of monitors. Then Sportacus broke in again and toss a bucket full of water at the fused box, short circuiting Pixel's computer and dragged the dirty ape outside.
Meanwhile at the meds shop being run by Busybody the guy in the I'm not Robbie Rotten T shirt approached the counter and asked Busybody "Do you have anything that'll make me stronger than Sportacus?" Busybody replies "Hmm... You look suspicous! But you're not Robbie Rotten so you can't be evil. We got sports candy, vitamins and nutrients." "Yeuk! Do you have anything else?" "I'm not suppossed to sell this but we have steroids!" "Steroids? Hot damn! Gimme that stuff!" "Are you sure? It's make your genitals shrival up!" "Oh fuck that then!" "However we also have viagroids!" "Viagroids? What's that?" "It's a fusion of Steroids and viagra that gets rid of the problem of genitalia shrinking and make it grow instead!" "Why didn't you tell me about that in the first place? Gimmie some!" Mrs Busybody hands over the Viagroid needle to the newcomer then he immediatly injects the needle in his eye and his whole body and physique grew to the size to that of The hulk and his penis burst out of his trouser becoming ever so enormous the muscles ripped the T shirt to shreds. Mrs Busybody gasped and said "It's Robbie Rotten!" "Suddenly you realise you stupid spunk dumpster!" Cackled Robbie. "Now that my little friend has grown up, I shall put him inside of you! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Outside Sportacus' crystal glows. "Someone's in trouble!" Announced Sporticus. Sporticus then begins flipping around again as usual following up with all of some physically imposible shit.
Inside the store Robbie was violently raping Mrs Busybody up the ass over the counter almost tearing her apart with his fat cock.
Outside Sportacus was doing a handstand with both hands behind his back ballencing on his tongue.
Inside Robbie ripped Busybody's head off her neck by the increasing length of his dick.
Outside Sportacus was practising yoga leg raises while balancing a 3 ton weight on his pinky toe.
Inside Robbie tears off Busybody's neck and wore it on his monster wanger like a ring and used it like a masturbation tool. "Oh my god! This is fucking amazing!" Shouted Robbie.
Outside Sportacus was doing press ups with both hands and both feet in the air leaving only his cock to support his entire body. The kids approched him and Stephanie asked "Aren't you suppossed to help someone now?" "I will after I do 1000 more push ups."
Inside Robbie pulled out Mrs Busybody's tongue and shoved it up his ass to stimulate a tongue fucking making Robbie orgasam more.
An hour later Sportacus busts into the store with the kids following him in and they see a hulking Robbie naked in the store, they altogether say "Robbie Rotten! Aww!". Robbie faces Sportacus and says "Ahh, Sportacus! How nice of you to time time off of performing impressive feats of strength which you bores the hell out of everyone after first three times and came to the aid of the sweet defenceless Mrs Busybody who could of come out unharmed if you were here a little earlier! But no, you thought being an hour late would't hurt well now Mrs Busybody was raped, murdered and multilated before I used her pieces as pleasure things! You're no hero you phony!" Sportacus became offended. "Hey, my feats of strength aren't boring! Aren't they?" Asked Sporticus. The kids were shocked at Sportacus' lack of remorse for Busybody. "I mean, you won't get away with this Robbie!" "Didn't you see the kid's faces? They hate you now! They only watch to see you fall by my hands using the power of Viagroids!" "Viagroids, eh? Well I'm sure they can't beat the power of Sports candy!" "Are you on drugs man? Oh wait I am but I still make more sense that you for sports candy couldn't make me stronger when I was a scrawny faggot! Thanks to Viagroids I'm godlike and I'll kick your parvennu shitting ass back to Iceland!" "Hey cut the racism out man or I'll make you wish you've never been both with Ku Klux Klan members as parents" "Ha ha! That would've been funny if I spoke snowman fucker!" Sportacus got drastically pissed and took a bite of an apple and started flipping about again. Robbie sighs before walking up to Sportacus and punching him upside the head. Sportacus fell to the floor, Robbie pulled his trousers down and became shocked to find his penis as tiny as can be and the bulge was actually one of those inflatable thingies. Robbie turned Sporticus over and bummed him doggystyle. "Now Sportacus" Said Robbie "I shall reveil a lot of thing you're not gonna like! First of all Gorden Brown is not a Tory!" "But he is! My mate said so!" Shouted Sportacus. "Your hero Popeye takes steroids!" "No!" "You were adopted!" "No! Oh wait! I guess that explains why my parents were both men!" "Also, Sportacus! I am your brother!" Sportacus was stunned in shock Robbie came up Sportacus' ass screaming "Ahh that a good fuck!" while orgasaming, he then threw sportacus' back to the floor. Robbie then squats over Sportacus' face and shat all over his face with dihorrea induced by MGS from the shit he eats "I know that you're diabetic!" Shouted Robbie "And because of my shoddy diet there's more sugar in a millitre of my runny excrement than there is in a sugar coated candy cane!" Sportacus head turned sideways and hus fingers twitched for a few seconds before stopping completely, there was no doubt about it; The above-avarage hero of Lazytown was dead!
"Yes I did it!" Celebrated Robbie. "I killed Sportacus and it was so easy! Now that I'm charge there will be a few changes around here!" Heralding the moment when Lazytown was fucked.
Robbie runs towards the kids and said "Rule number 1; No niggers!" Robbie rips Pixel's head clean off and kicked it at the screen. "Rule number 2: No chinks!" Robbie grabs Trixie and tears her clean in half. "Rule number 3: No jews!" Robbie shoved his hand down Stingy's throat and pulled out his intestines and strangled him to death with them. "You're aryan so you're safe" Robbie said to Stefanie and Ziggy.
"You murdered my friends you evil bastard!" Said Ziggy. "Now you shall face the wrath of Sweetacus!" "Don't make me laugh at your failure alter-ego." The battle unfold and unsurprisingly Ziggy gets ass handed to him. "For your impudence, you will star in my first BDSM video Tied to the Track 1!"
Robbie grabs Ziggy and takes him to a train track and dresses up as an old silent movie villain then start filming it on a camcorder on a tripod. Robbie then ties Ziggy to the track then he does countless of disgusting sexual acts until both were smashed into by a bullet train leaving nothing but long strecthes of blood trails, ending Robbie's terrible rein of terror.
"Well I'm glad that's over!" Said Stephanie.
Or is it?
The mayor appears naked with a hulking figure and a monster custard chucker sticking up. "Uh..." Said the mayor. "I kinda took some viagroids for Mrs Busybody... And well... She's dead so... Could you... Y'know... Oh fuck it!"
The screen became pitch black and sounds of Stephanie screaming and crying could be heard.
The end.