In a world where supervillain and heros often compete, Naturally Alfred and his brother Mathew had chosen to be heros. To be more exact, it had always been Alfred's dream to be a hero, so it was the natural path for him to take. When Mathew also exhibited signs of manifesting his superpowers, Alfred had forced his brother to become a hero with him, a sort of side kick to him.

Alfred's superpower was Superstrength, Matthew's was invisibility. Alfred called himself "StrongArm" which his brother thought perfectly described Alfred in most situations. Alfred called Mathew "Who?" and Mathew still wasn't sure if that was supposed to his superhero name, or if Alfred was just teasing him, like he'd done his whole childhood, by pretending to forget Matthew's name.

Tonight, though, Alfred and Mathew weren't "StrongArm" or "Who?". They weren't just Alfred and Mathew either. They were two supervillains who called themselves "Super bad and scary villians" and "really bad guys" through slurred words and giggles. It had been Matthew's idea, surprisingly, the normally more quiet and reserved of the twins forgetting his inhibitors under the liberator of alcohol.

"Say, Al," Mathew began with gleaming eyes, slightly slurring with words, "Haven't you ever thought about what it would be like to be bad?"

Alfred, who's dream had always been to be a hero, cocked his head at Mathew, and his brother hurried to explain.

"Don't get me wrong, I love being a hero, and helping people and stuff, but is a lot of work, eh? I mean we always have to answer to a ton of people, and submit reports every time we act, and if we mess up even a little we get scolded or they threaten to take our hero licenses away."

Alfred sat up slightly from how he was lounging, nodding slowly along.

"Yeah. I became a hero to help people, but with all the paperwork I have to do I'm beginning to wonder if they even want us to help anyone!"

Encouraged, Mathew continued excitedly.

"Right! Wouldn't it be nicer to be a Villian? Like, it'd be wrong, of course, but it'd be nice. "

He mimed reaching for invisible things as he liked, as he spoke, growing more and more exuberant.

"If I wanted something, I could take it! I wouldn't have to turn in paperwork, I could just do what I wanted! I could save people however I wanted without having to worry about stupid permits and stuff!"

Mathew bounced to his feet and Alfred jumped up after him in excitement.

"I could totally take down that Winter freak finally! And the bureau couldn't do anything about it!"

With Alfred on board, Matthew's smile grew into a sly smirk. He leaned his head back, guzzle down the rest of his drink, then slammed the empty can down, only partially crushing it, then met Alfred's eyes with an evil grin.

"Hey," he said in an excited whisper, "Hey, let's be villains instead!"

Sober Alfred would have been offended at this concept, not that Sober Mathew would have suggested it. Drunk Alfred, however, leaned forwards with sparkling eyes, thinking of all the good he could do unfettered by government restraints, and how he could finally, finally , best his archrival. Alfred's lips lifted in a mirror of Matthew's evil smirk.

"Why not?"

And that's why, about half an hour later, the famed supervillain who simply called himself "Winter" stood in awe and stared at the two ex-heros, standing on the top of the museum he was initially planning to blow up a part of as a distraction to his plan to rob the bank, but was now just staring at dumbfounded.

"Lishen up!"

Shouted one of the self-proclaimed villains, though it was impossible to tell which was which from where he stood. Both Villains wore red hoodies and a white mask that the Villain "Winter", also known as Ivan, was almost certain were made out of half a paper plate with holes cut in them.

"Yeah, Listen up!"

The second villain butted in with drunken giggles.

"We are very, very BAD supervillains! And we HATE heros!"

That set both petty villains off into giggles again, and the other agreed once he caught his breath enough to speak.

"Yeah! We hate heros! And the Bureau of Superhuman Law Enforcement, and Janet from HR!"

The villain Ivan, watching all this was beginning to get a sinking feeling in his stomach that he recognized the cocky and bright voice that responded to the first, also familiar voice.

"Yeah! Fuck Janet from HR! What the hell does she mean by "Unacceptable behaviour" anyways? That party was justified!"

The voice got louder as he spoke, till finally the last word "justified" rang out with such a loud and clear tone that it echoed back from the surrounding buildings. There were a crowd gathering of a few worried, but mostly annoyed or amused citizens watching the antics of the drunkards, and several of them were dialling the police, and Ivan came to the startling realization that his archrivals were probably going to end up arrested.

"Hey, what-hic-do villains even do? I usually beat them before they do anything." The louder drunk asked the slightly less loud one, and the other considered it for a moment then suggested uncertainly; "Break stuff?"

The louder drunk, which Ivan was now 90% sure was the Superhero StrongArm, lit up at that suggestion.

"Is that it? That's easy!"

He drew back his arm as though to punch the support pillar holding up the roof, and Ivan felt a chill as he remembered why that hero went as "StrongArm". Thankfully, the police chose that moment to show up, flashing sirens and wanting messages through their megaphones.

"Police! Do not move!"

Ideally, Ivan knew he should take advantage of this distraction and continue with his original plan, but at this point he was almost invested in watching the show, like it was a dramatic TV show. The drunks stopped giggling at that and had a hesitant whispered conversation, one side of which was still loud enough to hear from the ground.

"I dunno, it's not like they can arrest us?

Oh. Right.

Um... Then what should we do?

WE CAN'T DO THAT- oh. Okay."

Only knowing half the conversation was making Ivan have an irritating itchy feeling that he often got before something went badly wrong, and he knew from experience that ignoring that feeling was a mistake. Maybe that's why he chose to move and interfere before the heros ended up arrested or shot or fugatives. It definitely was not because Ivan would miss the altercations with his nemesis. He reufesed to entertain that thought at all, even though his plans would definitely succeed better and faster if his rivals were gone.

Ivan called up a snowstorm with his powers, creating a sheild between the drunks and the police, with himself on the side of the drunks. The raging snow worked like a curtain between the two sides, and Ivan moved before the authorities called in the heros. On the rooftop, Alfred recognized the sudden snowstorm with a shout.

"Winter! C'mon bro, let's get him!"

Mathew held back.

"Do...We have to?"

He asked uncertainly and Alfred gave him a look of a devout believer hearing someone criticize their god. Mathew, on the verge of being disowned, hurriedly explained.

"I mean, it's just, we fought him because we were heros and he's a villain, but... we're villains too? So do we need to fight him?"

Alfred, in an incredibly understanding act only granted by an older brother to the younger, took a deep and calming breath before carefully explaining the situation to his twin.

"Mattie, I don't fight him cuz I'm a hero or he's a Villian. I fight him cuz he's Winter."

Having graciously explained his inexplicable relationship with his rival, Alfred lept off the roof like a crazy person, considering he did not have flight powers, and Mathew turned invisible from the shock.

"Winter!"

Alfred's shout was enough warning for Ivan to sidestep away in time to avoid a blow that could have killed him on impact if it hit, and Alfred miraculously didn't break any bones or sprain any ankles when he landed. Mathew had scrambled down the ladder they'd used to get up on the roof in the first place and reappeared next to Alfred a few minutes later. Alfred grinned wildly behind his somewhat-askew paper plate mask, and Ivan grimaced in return.

"Strong Arm."

He greeted Alfred stiffly, and Alfred beamed. Mathew, currently visible, shifted and coughed into his hand and Ivan directed some of his attention that way.

"And.."

Ivan fished for the other hero's name and came up blank, his forehead drawing together.

"Who?"

The other hero gave him an awkward smile and dipped his head as though agreeing, which really only left Ivan more confused, but he let that slide in favour of studying the two, clearly intoxicated people, and Mathew stumbled as though even standing still was difficult, clutching onto Alfred's arms for support, and Alfred's eyes looked just a little too bright, and were very unfocused. Ivan wanted to frown, but that wasn't his style. Instead, he smiled sweetly at the heros.

Alfred, seeing the beam he was used to seeing directed his way, returned it with his own certified hero beam.

"Winter! What sort of - hic- devious plan are you plotting!"

Usually Ivan would have responded with a secretive smile, a surefire technique to antagonize Alfred, perfected after years of experimentation, but this time he returned the question in an incredulous tone.

"What are you planning?"

Then, so not to sound weak, he added for good measure.

"I thought the government kept a tight leash on their dogs. Does you owner know you're here?"

Alfred, who would normally have risen to the bait, only smiled wider, looking proud of himself.

"Jokes on you! We're not part of the Hero's association anymore!"

"What?"

Ivan let his smile slip for a split second due to shock, and the hero beside Alfred piped up too, with bright eyes.

"We quit! I'm going to do what I want from now on!"

Alfred cheered and clapped as he agreed.

"Yeah! The government can't tell us what to do anymore! I can do whatever I want!"

Ivan tried not to furrow his brow and to keep his smile on his face as he considered this. He'd always assumed that Alfred liked being a superhero, based off all the justice-based nonsense that Alfred always seemed to spew whenever he was fighting Ivan, so he was at a bit of a loss hearing that Alfred had quit. Had Alfred only been fighting him because he was ordered to? Now, mentally, Ivan knew it was better for him, actually, if Alfred had just been fighting him because of orders, considering that Alfred just said he quit, but emotionally Ivan felt a bit ticked off at that concept.

Ivan didn't like the thought that he was the only one who thought they were rivals. Still, he'd never pegged Alfred as a "bad guy", he always seemed more like the type of guy who'd always be late because he stopped to help a grandma cross the road or help a lost kid, even without his superpowers. As for the other hero...Ivan didn't really remember ever seeing him before, but he seemed like he'd be a more quiet and gentle person, when not fueled by alcohol. Neither seemed the type to walk the path of a Villian, they didn't have that sense of desperation like Ivan did, they didn't feel like they had a reason. So Ivan asked, hesitantly.

"And this... is what you want to do?"

The ex-heros froze. Then, they exchanged a glance. Then, Ivan had the interesting experience of seeing both of their ears go red at once. It was the quieter one who spoke first.

"Well, not really. I'd actually prefer to do sports, like hockey or lacrosse or something."

Alfred considered this.

"I... Just want to save people I guess? Oh, and punch Winter in the face."

Ivan was completely confused.

"Then why did you quit being heros? Is that not what you did?"

He responded to Alfred, ignoring Matthew's answer, or Matthew's follow up mumble on how Alfred forced him to join. Alfred sighed, feeling suddenly rather tired as the alcohol forced him past the adrenaline stage towards the stage where he'd rather like to just sleep it off. Maybe that's why Alfred just couldn't seem to muster enough energy to argue with Ivan as he responded.

"Yeah, but they have all these rules and paperwork that makes the savin' people part hard."

Ivan's smile twitched.

"So you want to be a villain now?"

"We don't really want to be villains ," Mathew interjected helpfully, "We just don't want all these annoying rules and paperwork."

Ivan's smile was definitely trying to twitch down at the corners now, but by force of will he kept it there, barely. These naive and foolish men with the mindset of children were saying they'd throw away their jobs, throw away their income, their steady life and their safety, for what? They'd become fugatives, live every day in fear, not knowing whether tomorrow would finally be their big break, or if it'd be their last day on earth, for what?

These child-like idiots were throwing away the ability to smile purely, to wish their sibling goodnight and to openly smile at each other, running towards a life where their desperation was fought off by heros who thought it was a game, where a "goodnight" was a dream, but impossible to catch, where smiling at your sibling puts a target on their back, all for what? To avoid some paperwork? Because they didn't like the rules?

Ivan's mask was beginning to crumble, and the twins froze under his icy glare. Ivan wanted to tell them the truth of it all. That he wished the Hero's association had scouted him before he'd made a mistake and made his first act cementing him as a villain. He wished he could explain how he gave up the right to even talk to the very family he became a villain to protect. He wished he could explain the cold and loneliness of always being afraid, of not even trusting the people by your side, how hurting other people to help your family leaves no satisfaction and only a bitter taste in your mouth.

Ivan wanted to tell them that the plans they fought so hard to thwart were his dreams of a future where his family could have what everyone else was born with. But they wouldn't understand. Not now, when they were both too drunk to function. Not before, no matter how sober they were, and Ivan doubted they'd ever understand in the future either. So Ivan swallowed all those words and pasted his cheesy grin back onto his face and said something else in a practiced simple way.

"But Super villains also have laws and paperwork?"

The Twin's flinched, and Mathew burst out with a shocked cry "That can't be!" and Alfred childishly refuted "You're lying!". Ivan just kept smiling.

"Da, we do. Only difference is, when villains break laws, we're lucky to end up in jail, not body bags."

Alfred blinked, dizzy with liquor, the sudden drain after the adrenaline crash, and the heaviness of Ivan's words. Mathew turned and retched into a nearby snowbanks, partially from the disturbing concept, but mostly because his body was severely rejecting the excessive exercise after being unfairly bloated with alcohol. Ivan took that as his answer.

"Go home. There is no place among villains for kids. I'll let you go just once as a favor."

Though he disguised the words with a heavy amount of superiority and disdain, Ivan, for just this once, was saying his true feelings. Sadly, Alfred couldn't read the atmosphere in a room on the best of day, and Drunk Alfred was even worse. Mathew on a sober day, could have sensed the hidden emotion and would have told Alfred. Drunk Mathew suddenly remembered something Alfred had said earlier, and popped to his feet, pushing his paper-plate mask even more aside by accident in his excitement.

"Hey Al! Wait, shit. StrongArm! Didn't ya say you were going to fight Winter?"

Alfred stopped looking vaguely sick long enough to pop his signature aggravating beam onto his face, half-heartedly getting into a fighting stance against Ivan.

"I forgot! Since Winter is so desperate for me to stay a hero, it must be because he likes getting his ass beat by me!"

Ivan remembered why he didn't not like Alfred and why he appreciated their rivalry. Alfred happened to have the charming habit of making Ivan want to punch him in the nose within the first five minutes of talking to him, and Ivan was grateful for any excuse to achieve that fantasy. Unfortunately today was no exception. Alfred continued to tease.

"Don't worry dude! I'd still fight you even if I was a villain! Because your stupid face makes my fist itchy!"

Alfred happily faced Ivan, who was beginning to reconsider his appreciation for their rivalry and was rather considering knocking Alfred out and dumping him at the police station with a note like "Here are the two vigilantes who have causing disorder at the museum. They are mentally unwell. Please institutionalize them for life." Fortunately for both parties, Alfred's liquor-addled brain chose that moment to go on strike and he passed out, taking his twin out under him when he fell. The second his head touched the ground Matthew's exhaustion and his own flooded in all at once, and he curled into his twin and also gave in to sleep.

Ivan stared at the two prone bodies trying to decide if a god had finally decided to have mercy on him and struck those two down where they stood, or if it was just another piece of his bad luck that landed him with two unconscious enemies, a dying snowstorm as his power's strength began to run out, and a hoard of citizens, cops, and reporters waiting to see what happened with another hero likely on the way to fight him.

Ivan frowned at the two paper masks which couldn't even hide their identity from a toddler with irritation as he tried to decide what to do next.

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.

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Mathew was the first to wake, wincing with the ache of his hangover-caused migraine, and squinting at the light pouring from the open curtains. His movements awakened Alfred, who sat up quickly beside him, recoiled in pain, then bolted for the bathroom to express his regret of yesterday's drink over the toilet bowl. Then, after some good old fashioned hangover drinks and several stomach medications, they both remembered something very important and scary.

"Oh God."

Alfred sounded nauseated, and Mathew knew it wasn't solely due to his hangover. Mathew responded hesitantly himself.

"Did we really-?"

Alfred nodded, then dropped his head into his hands with a groan when his nod made his stomach flip several times. Mathew groaned too, but from the memory of their shameful acts from last night.

"Shit."

"We are so screwed."

For a moment they were both quiet because there wasn't really anything they could say to that, and then Mathew hesitantly offered;

"Maybe they don't know it was us?"

Alfred looked at him like he was crazy.

"We made our masks out of our pizza plates! I'm pretty sure I fought Winter and you told the cops that the hero's association should 'suck it'. Really think they don't know?"

Mathew looked guilty, ashamed, and also just the tiniest bit proud.

"We told the world 'Fuck Janet from HR'."

Mathew admitted with a slight tone of pride, and his lips twitched ever so slightly. Alfred snickered at the memory.

"And I'd say it again! Oh, I hope she's the one to fire us, so I can say it to her face!"

The word 'fire' sobered the pair back up.

"Shit. We are so screwed!"

Mathre repeated again, forlornly, and Alfred frowned into his knees as he tried to focus on not vomiting again. For a moment they say like that, then Alfred raised his head slowly and met Matthew's face, before they both turned their heads in unison to look at the beeping answering Machine that showed missed messages. Both of them knew that this call was, at best, their termination, and at worst, a demand to surrender and be arrested peacefully.

Mathew reached for the phone with a trembling hand, knowing it couldn't be put off longer, but Alfred was quicker, snatching it up first and playing the message. The message played, then both siblings stopped breathing for a second. Then they started again in the same breath, staring at each other in awe.

"The Villain Winter robbed the North Bank last night while he had two of his lackeys distract the authorities at the Car History Museum! Why didn't you pick up? I've called ten times already! If you don't call back first thing tomorrow, consider yourselves suspended!"

Their boss's words were harsh, but Alfred and Mathew weren't focused on that.

"They...don't know?"

"How's that possible?"

Alfred frowned in thought, and Mathew figured out the cause.

"That snowstorm Winter summoned must have blocked us from veiw! And since he was thee they just assumed we were his lackeys!"

Alfred looked disgusted at the concept of being Ivan's lackey, but chose to focus on the positive side-and insult Ivan- instead.

"Ha! What an idiot! He came to pick a fight with us but he ended up helping instead! That's gonna piss him off so bad!"

Alfred laughed out loud as he spoke, then doubled over in a wince as his headache throbbed in protest. Mathew quirked his lips up in a small smile at his brother, then asked a question hesitantly.

"But, How did we get home? Last thing I remember is passing out?"

Alfred wasn't the type to overthink things, and brushed it off carelessly.

"Obviously I got us both home before I passed out!"

He flexed his muscles to excentuate his strength, and Mathew, sensing arguing with Alfred was pointless- and besides, he didn't even have a good argument or alternative suggestion - just decided to accept Alfred's after all, the only other person who could have returned them home was Winter or his lackeys, and it's not like a supervillain would know where they lived!

"Heh. I guess we're lucky though." Mathew commented, "Since if we really had quit being heroes and became villains we would have lost everything and still have to do paperwork."

Alfred reluctantly nodded in agreement, then groaned loudly.

"We're gonna have a shit load of paperwork to do today, aren't we, Mattie?"

Mathew froze, realizing that fact himself, then turned desperately to Alfred.

"Hey, Do you think mercenaries have to do paperwork?"

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.

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"And?"

Ivan demanded of his trembling lackeys, and the three hurriedly bowed their heads and answered quickly.

"We did it!"

"It's done!"

"We swear!"

Ivan frowned.

"And they do not know, da?"

One of the lackeys popped his head up and confidenly answered, even though he shaking so hard his glasses started to slip off.

"Of course! I hacked into the government files and tracked down their apparment, then hacked the apartment database and used their passcode to get into their apartment, then erased all traces of our presence!"

"But we did all the hard work," the second lackey complained under his breath, "and those heros are heavy."

The third lackey elbowed him in the stomach to shut him up, and Ivan ignored the commotion, nodding approvingly to himself with a smile that instantly made all three lackeys close their mouths tightly.

"That is all. Now go."

The three hurried out, glancing behind them nervously. The smallest, barely older than Ivan had been when he'd first been sucked into this life of a Villian, hesitated and looked back at Ivan.

"But, sir... um... Why did you get us to save them? Aren't they our enemies?"

Ivan answered with a glower that promised just what would happen if they asked again, made more terrifying by the innocent smile behind it, and his lackey squeaked and ran after the older two.

"I'm sorry! Please forget I asked!"

And then Ivan was left alone. He sighed, deeply, remebering the foolish Twins from last night and their babbled nonsense. He told himself he hadn't done it to be kind, or because he pitied them, Ivan had grown too cold for emotions like that. Still, he knew that helping them had never been in his best interests either,rhat his life and goal would have been made easier by their disappearances, but yet...

No, Ivan told himself, it wasn't because he cared. It was just that he wanted to punch Alfred in his stupid, dopey face in their next battle, and make everyone, including that other hero -what was his name? - see just how much of a loser his enemy was. It definitely was not because Ivan saw something in them he never had the chance to gain, and he definitely wasn't trying to protect that. After all, one of the rules of a Villian is that you can't ever care about something, because then it become a weakness.

Ivan didn't have any weaknesses.

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"Hey, wait a minute!"

Alfred suddenly slammed down his fork with a realization during breakfast, which was actually closer to lunch because of the time they woke up and the extra long scolding their boss gave them over the phone call. Mathew looked at him in mild surprise and Alfred continued on in growing frustration.

"That bastard Winter just left us when you fainted and went and robbed a bank! That heartless jerk!"