Truce for now were having duck for dinner
The message is cool, precise and to the point and Riku doesn't need to check the number to know who it's from. There is exactly one person who texts him like this, nevermind that Kairi saved Roxas into his phone as "Sea Salt Shaker" and Riku never had the heart to change it.
Mostly because the pun is so dumb, it's funny.
He answers with a simple "Ok, got it. And it's "we're""" and then proceeds to take five minutes to look for a fitting emoji, only for his phone to almost vibrate out of his hand, messages incoming at a speed he can barely keep up with.
"Roxas, I swear to Kingdom Hearts…", he growls and opens them with an exasperated sigh.
F u. Grammarnazi.
Bring Kairi. Shes savage
Ask Axel if u can brow his grilling equipment im not allowed near it anymore.
*borrow
Actually dont hell know your asking for me.
Does he mean "hell" as in underworld or "he'll" s in "he will"?
Riku asks.
ffs riku i dont have time to grammar my shit pls just get here stat b4 i kill the duck with my bare hands xions worried and aqua is sus i need an alibi
We dont get along so youll do no onell believe i asked for ur help
Whatever Donald did for Roxas to message him and ask him to be his alibi, Riku is a bit too afraid to ask. Not after Roxas slammed a frisbee in his face and hissed at him that he has not forgotten The-World-That-Never-Was and that retribution will happen. It's a health hazard waiting to happen.
The younger man is a menace when mad and by now they have all learned that there are a few triggers you just don't cross.
He screenshots the messages and forwards them to Kairi, doesn't even wait for her answer when he asks Roxas for a time and place as he stumbles down the stairs and grabs his gummi ship keys off the hook.
He gets a link to a café close to Sunset Station, underneath a small comment of that place having decent coffee and Kairi might like the crepes.
And then another message.
Not a word to xion shell worry even more
Sure.
Why not.
They are definitely not telling Sora about this after all. Thank Kingdom Hearts he's off on a mission to a new world.
Like this he will never find out it was them.
The next day, Kairi waits for him at the ship, sunglasses perched on her nose, summer freckles an adorable addition to her face, summer dress light blue and flowy around her waist. Her hands are twirling her favourite hat and Riku waves at her once he rounds the corner fully and feels her eyes on himself.
"I heard we are eating out?", she grins up at him and then glances down, "And I am dragging you shopping. It's our free weekend, why are you in uniform?"
Riku coughs into his hand, turns away blushing up to his ears, "Well… I… may have grown out of my clothes again?"
He blushes harder when she stares, he can see her blink behind the sunglasses from this distance.
Then she bursts out laughing, "Another growth spurt? Are you planning to turn into a beanstalk instead of a hunk?"
He unlocks the gummi ship and throws her his phone, Kairi catches it, still wheezing in the doorway, but she stumbles inside and plops down into her seat, plugging the phone in and scrolling through the playlists, "I still want to see you in blue someday, Ri. You need more colours in your wardrobe instead of only yellow and black."
"I have two white shirts and that grey suit.", he quips back, "And I happen to like yellow."
"You also happen to look drop dead gorgeous in blue, but okay, I don't know anything.", she shoves the phone onto the console and leans back, "Did you update my cannons? You did, good boy!"
Her cannons cost him an arm and a leg, but he loves Kairi's joy when she blasts heartless ships into oblivion, so what else was he supposed to do?
Kairi's still not wearing a seatbelt, so like the annoying worried boyfriend that he is, he just stares at the redhead until she notices that he hasn't even touched the ignition key yet and groans.
Then she grabs the seatbelt.
As they keep flying to Twilight Town, Kairi keeps complaining about Ansem's and Aqua's contradictory teachings and whatever Merlin tried to explain to her last week that ended up with an explosion that took out half the west wing of their training house. Apparently Axel is still teasing her with the pics he took then and she is two messages away from setting him on fire.
"Kairi…. He's a pyromaniac, he might actually like it if you do that."
"And you just made it gross. Thank's, Riku, you're a real friend.", she hisses and throws up her hands. Something glitters and Riku focuses on her nails long enough to recognize the motiv, then he turns it back on the road, "Cute."
"What?"
"You have tiny paopu fruits on your nails. It's cute."
She gives off a sound that might vaguely mean a "Oh, thanks." but is actually a sound so high, only Goofy and Pluto might be able to hear it.
When he tells her as much, Kairi throws her hat at him and Riku snorts out a laugh, only to burst out into an outright cackle when she starts cursing worse than any sailor.
"Riku, stop laughing, your thick skull broke my hat!"
"Your ribbon came loose, don't be dramatic, I'll fix it when we land."
She sniffs, very fake and very sparkle eyed and hopeful and whimpers, "Really?"
He nods.
Takes a sharp turn and evades a few heartless ships Kairi jumps to destroy with her cannons. They both laugh when the song changes to something much more upbeat and happy, underlined by a heavy base instead of the calmer songs Riku usually prefers.
He drums his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat and sings along to the lyrics, Kairi joins in halfway through and as they pelt out the worst rendition of the song possible, both smiling and shoving at each other shoulders, Riku maneuvers them out of danger while Kairi eliminates their tails.
Once they're out, Riku presses his forehead against the wheel and grins, cheeks stretched wide and hurting from all the smiling, but his heart floats feather light in his chest and his fingers vibrate with the engine and he is happy, just straight up giddy and soft.
Beside him, Kairi is slumped over her cannon controls and giggling into the buttons and he nudges her feet with his own until she looks up.
"Another round?"
"Roxas is going to kill us if we're late."
"He hates me anyway, waiting for a few minutes longer won't make it that much worse."
Roxas kicks Riku's shin the second they land and waves at Kairi with a smile so bright, it rivals the sunset behind him.
They park near Sunset Terrace, close to the cafè, in a parking lot probably not intended for gummi ships. Riku locks the door, his fingers brush the washed out yellow paint and he moves to follow the blond boy, as Kairi hooks her arm into his and glares at a few people staring at them until they don't anymore.
The cafè itself is… cute. It's a bright building, painted yellow, vines growing over a frame surrounding the terrace, giving the whole place a certain idyllic touch only Kairi fits into. Riku and Roxas share a glance, look down at their work uniform and somewhat punky attire and then they shrug.
At least one of them is happy.
Kairi finds them a free table, somewhat hidden away behind a few ivy vines, with a beautiful view of the sunset and the train rails. She grabs a menu and starts thumbing through the pages, humming whenever she catches sight of something interesting, "The lemon sorbet is housemade, Ri, you might like it. And they have iced coffee! Riku… They have waffles."
He knows exactly what's going to come out of her mouth, "I'm paying, don't worry. Roxas, yours too, just order." Riku settles down next to Kairi and leans over her shoulder to read the menu, eyes scanning the options, until they rest on the sizes of coffee.
They have a large option, he loves this place.
Thankfully ordering takes no time at all and soon enough the three of them are left sitting around the table and waiting for Roxas to start with whatever he's planning.
"The duck talked shit about Sora again.", Roxas starts after a pause, "And not in the fun "he is a kid and did dumb shit again" way and more the sort of "he can't count how is he still alive" way. Fucker should be happy Xion was there or I would have set this fucking duck on fire right there on the training grounds." He drums an angry beat on the table and leans forward, is met with two sets of teeth bared in a smile so wide, it's terrifying.
"Is this why you wanted to have Axel's grilling equipment?"
"Ew, I don't want to know where Donald has been with a mouth like that.", Kairi adds and pulls up her lips in a snarl, shuddering, "And here I thought last time we had to restrain you two would teach him a lesson."
"Thing is, he doesn't know what he did wrong, he was not the one talking to Sora for five hours straight . I've kept reassuring him that just because his progress is slower now that we aren't in mortal danger anymore, that it doesn't matter! As long as there is progress! Nevermind that he keeps working on bettering everyone's lives out there white this feather duster keeps sitting on his ass and enjoying peace.", Riku growls and catches a wide eyed stare from Roxas, "What?"
"Your eyes just…. Nevermind. Doesn't matter.", he waves it away, "But yeah. I want to teach him a lesson. Or five. Or maybe a few more and I need your help. You weren't there yesterday when he started and I just…", Roxas, grits his teeth and pushes at the table decoration, "I want to ruin his day, week, month if I can get away. If he even mentions Sora being anything but a ray of sunshine, I will end him. Just plain smack him off a cliff with my keyblade."
"I'll help you bury him.", Kairi grins.
Riku barks a laugh, "I'll be your alibi, as promised."
After all, the only thing where they see eye to eye is their tendency to be overprotective over Sora.
A hat with a reattached ribbon lands on Riku's head and he pushes it out of his eyes to glance at the girl, who is by now smirking like the true evil that she is, "I have a few ideas. Now. Listen up, this will take a while to prepare and we might need to clue another few people into our plans…"
Operation "Ruin Donald's Day", phase one: ask the triplets for advice.
It's mostly harmless pranks, a bucket full of ice cubes over a door, switching around spices, switching salt with sugar, maybe dropping a hot pepper into his dinner. Riki takes notes in the back as the other two grill the kids for any information they can think of. Riku adds "superglue his staff to his wing" under "Rip out his feathers and sell them as quills". In his defense, that one was on Roxas.
Riku himself notes the throwaway "Uncle Donald hates cold water in general, so that will be a fun prank!", already planning to bribe the staff in Disney Castle to turn off Donald's hot water supply.
"Any food he hates?"
"Allergies?"
Another note, "Keep Roxas away from beehives."
"How would he react to having his clothes stolen and replaced with dresses?"
Here, Riku learns that his father figure and his best friends all crossdressed at some point and didn't give a flying fuck about it and well, kudos to that, but he still hates the duck. Hopefully there are pictures. Huey mentions something about Queen
Minnie doing their makeup.
"Any memories he might want to repress?"
Whatever the house of mouse or the wonderhouse is, the silver haired man hopes that Mickey keeps recordings of them. They need it in their lives. All three of them and maybe Sora too if they wrap it up with nice gift wrap paper and a pretty little bow.
Donald absolutely adores his boat to bits.
And depending on how bad Riku's mood is, he might mention to Uncle Scrooge just how much Donald makes as a court magician. Word is, there is still an unpaid tab that needs to be settled.
In the end. It's a start. A very childish and petty one, but it's a start.
For phase two, their next destination is a hardware store where they lose Kairi in the various shades of pink and where Riku has to bodily restrain Roxas from buying a chainsaw.
"I know that we have the money, but we are not killing the duck, that would be too easy!", he hisses into the blonde's ear as he drags him away and back to the girls side, who is by now debating whether she wants the glitter or not.
Riku grabs three packs and throws them her way, Kairi catches them and hauls out the hot pink wall paint.
She thumbs the writing and whistles, "Hey, it's suitable for the outdoors! I can use that! Did you get the chainsaw, Rox?"
"No one is buying a chainsaw, guys!"
"I can ask Terra if I can borrow one of his older keychains. I think one of them form changes into one." Roxas deadpans and Kairi snorts out a laúgh at Riku's indignant "What did I just say?!"
"You said buying, not borrowing.", the other two answer in unison.
It's a win in their favour and Riku is left with a growing sense of dread.
Phase three: No one asks how Kairi got Daisy's number and what Donald did this time around for the duck lady to be pissed off enough to open the gates to Donald's boat to them without questioning their motives.
When she sees the pink paint and the glitter, her only reaction is a thumbs up and a smirk and then they are alone with a beautiful boat they are going to repaint.
Riku is just grateful that no one asks him to get artsy, instead he is sent off to get them food and drinks while Roxas and Kairi work.
He still makes them promise not to break anything, only paint, only drown the whole thing in glitter.
Inside and out.
There is a little restaurant nearby, one that sells food to go and while Riku waits for their dinner, he scrolls through kingstagram, systematically liking all of Sora's pictures, no matter how dumb they are. He looks good in a kilt. Sunny and soft and happy in this world of green and surrounded by friends. The next slide shows Sora with a bow, concentrating on the targets further down, tongue peeking out from between his lips.
The man almost coos at the picture. Then he sends it to Kairi.
He gets a crying emoji back with a bunch of nonsensical letters Riku thinks mean that her brain may have gone into overdrive. And then crashed.
He gets it, he is doing the same thing when his two idiots are being perfect.
He still remembers walking into a pole when JKairi sent him that pic of her as a mermaid back in Atlantica, all see through fabric and colourful tail, Sora shirtless in the back, already in a battle stance and ready to slay.
Not his proudest moment, but still one of his favourite pictures to this day.
The other one is the one he took of the two of them piled up and passed out on the islands. With the sunrise illuminating a halo around them and all their fingers tangled into one big knot.
Their unbreakable connection.
When he comes back to the ship, he almost drops their food.
"I was gone for less than half an hour, how did you even…"
The whole ship is pink. The brightest, acidic neon pink Kairi managed to find in the store, with a glittering stripe across its side practically blinding Riku, it's so bright.
He walks around it, grinning like a maniac when he finds Roxas suspended in the air on his keyblade glider, throwing paint bombs at the ship, toxic green splashes across the roof, raining down in almost fluorescent rain on the wooden bridge.
From the inside, sparks fly and Riku climbs up the side of the boat to find the walls painted cyan.
Paint is plastered all over her, pink and green and shades of blue, a yellow smear on her nose Riku desperately wants to kiss. So he does. She giggles and flicks his forehead, whirls away to paint a slash of yellow across the blue.
"Are you trying to blind the man?", he laughs and Kairi waves her keyblade wand past him to colour the leather inside another shade of darker blue to set off the glowing effect.
She huffs, bares her teeth at him, "If he can't see Sora's worth, he deserves to see nothing. Oh, you have the steadiest hands of the three of us, do you think you can write something on the glitter? We have glow in the dark paint and I want to leave a message. Is Don't mess with our heart menacing enough or do I need to elaborate?"
"You're good." Sometimes he forgets that underneath the ruffles and kind eyes there is a monster. And sometimes he is giddy with anticipation when she decides to go to war.
This is the second option.
Riku drops the food on the table and grabs the bucket with paint, "I'll be outside, we can see if we can finish this today. After all, we have a tight schedule in the next few days if we want to be done by the time Sora comes back."
"We can always prolong the torture. I asked Daisy why she's helping us, by the way." Kairi paints the ceiling red, "Apparently he got the date of their anniversary wrong and it's the date of their first break up or something."
"Bitter."
"Don't fall off the boat!"
They eat under the shade of the ugliest boat in existence and Kairi lounges in Riku's lap, scrolling through the pics Sora sends her, forwarding the ones Riku doesn't have to him and watches the different emotions he doesn't even try to hide from her.
"Simp." she teases.
Across from them, Roxas snorts into his noodles, "Both of you are."
"And proud of it. Have you seen those arms?" Kairi lifts an eyebrow, "And like you can say no to that smile."
"My love for Sora is purely platonic. You two break with every new world he visits. Or do I have to remind you of his tattoos on Motunui?" Roxas leans back and flicks a stray pea at Kairi.
His answer is two groans and Riku wheezing, Kairi's elbow buried in his leg as she throws her upper body back into his lap, mimicking a swooning motion, "Those were so pretty. He was so pretty."
"He is." Riku adds, smiling down with that pained relief of someone whose nether regions almost suffered permanent damage.
Roxas just laughs at both of them.
Phase four: Riku has King Mickey on speed dial and flies out there by himself on the next day while Kairi and Roxas go see if Little Chef has a few interesting spices for him. While he talks to the palace staff, mostly those responsible for the plumbing, he adds his occasional two cents to their group chat.
Donald has booked an apology dinner for himself and Daisy at the Bistro and they are currently trying to convince Little Chef to add chili to everything the duck tries to eat.
It's going surprisingly well.
Riku himself is currently puzzling together pipes and their locations, tracing the pipelines to Donald's bedroom and turning off all the warm water he can find. Behind him, the plumber is still shaking his head, "You are awfully petty for a few comments about your boyfriend. Not that I mind, but… Why would you go out of your way for that?" It's a dog, though a different looking one than Goofy, blonde with brown eyes and fluffier ears falling into his face. He reminds Riku of Lady with shorter ears.
"Because it's not the first time. And not even the worst he said to Sora." Riku answers and turns another dial, "He keeps nagging at Sora. Keeps going and going and going until Sora's smile strains and all we can do to keep him from crying is dragging him outside to calm down. Wanna know the worst part? Sora stopped fighting back. He just smiles through it and then leaves the room and we have to glue him back together, because to him, Donald is still his friend. Still someone he confides in and isn't that the worst. We can't murder the duck, so we will inconveniemce him everywhere we can."
You don't mess with my heart and get away with it., his mind adds and Riku smirks as he turns the last dial and then turns back to the man, "Thank you for your help though. It means a lot."
"Hey, you started the conversation with a prank proposal and I'd rather know what you're up to before you break something trying to sneak around if I say no."
"If you said no I would have accepted it and then frozen Donald's whole bathroom." Riku laughs, mischief in his voice.
Kairi sends him a screenshot of her warning Daisy of their plans so she is prepared. They want to ruin Donald's day, not hers, after all.
Phase five: Find Donald's room and rearrange every single book. And his room in general.
Riku has to break in, tries it once with a lockpick, loses his patience and just opens the door with his keyblade. Imagine how easy that is contrary to his first try.
Rearranging turns out to be the funniest thing yet, if only because Riku has the time of his life making little pixel art out of the books, arranging them in nonsensical patterns with no system whatsoever. It will take Donald days to put them back in place and he is going to enjoy hearing the duck complain in their next meeting.
Then. He places every piece of furniture exactly five centimeters to the left. Turns a painting upside down. Switches around all the drawers in the desk.
Puts all the quills in the room on the top of the shelf and leaves the room whistling a happy tune that might have been out of a spy movie Sora made him watch years ago whose name he forgot seconds after it ended. The tune was catchy though.
Riku has to admit that.
They decide against the mini movies in their group chat until Roxas points out that at least Uncle Scrooge might get a kick out of projecting them everywhere and that leaves Riku in the records room with Queen Minnie for another two hours. Looking through ancient files until they find the worst ones yet.
Donald's worst, most embarrassing moments. Making a montage out of those might take a while, if only because they have to find a way to pull them onto more modern media so Roxas can see if he can cut it into shape without ruining history.
Maybe they can ask Leon for help? The man had been quite fond of Sora last time they visited.
And didn't seem to particularly like Donald.
"We can always ask." Kairi answers on the phone, "See you at the cafe later?"
"Order me an extra large coffee, will you? Sending you the pictures of Donald's new shelf."
"Did you seriously draw a dick with his books?" Her giggling echoes in the gummi ship. It's a pretty sound, bells in the wind, leaves in the trees, soothing and kind. It makes him miss Sora's more rambunctious laughter that much more, their harmony of light a balm on his very soul.
Riku laughs with her, blasts another batch of heartless and then proceeds to explain all the other shenanigans he was up to, until his phone battery runs out and he has to hang up before his phone crashes.
He meets up with the others back in Twilight Town, Roxas bowed over hic milk tea with the widest, most shit-eating grin imaginable and Kairi with brand new sunglasses, two big bags by her side.
"I bought you new clothes, just so you know.", once Riku is close enough, she grabs his arm and pulls him in to press a kiss against his cheek, "I am seeing you in blue, even if it's the last thing I do.
Roxas gags into his drink.
Riku sighs, "Did you at least consider getting Sora those jeans we talked about?"
"Of course I got them. He is dropping in in Shibuya though, so he's probably going to come home with another wardrobe anyway." Kairi gestures to the free space at the table, "Well? We have all of it set up and now all we have to do is wait for the jerk to find our little surprises. Daisy mentioned that he was planning a ride on his boat on sunday, once they're all back and debriefing. So he will see most of our castle surprises then. And the boat. I really hope that Daisy makes good on her promise and films the whole thing."
"I got a table on the same evening as the apology date." Roxas adds, "Took some convincing…"
"He means begging."
"But if I help out in the restaurant for the next few days, I can have a table close enough to film it. Maybe I can ask Axel and Isa if they want to make this a family dinner. The entertainment will be good at least. And the food there is amazing."
Riku nods at that, "Then all that's left is asking Leon for help with the videos and giving them to Uncle Scrooge and we are set. And we still have a few days left until Sora returns. Kairi? Wanna organize something for his return?"
"Sure. We can call Leon when we fly back home." Kairi rolls her eyes, "Or just drop in. He lives around the corner after all."
"So we have a plan?"
Roxas laughs and high fives them, "Oh do we have one. Okay, guys, I gotta go, Hayner wants me to help him with his math homework and I am late as it is. See you at he tower next week?"
It turns out, that even the best laid plans can be ruined by a furious grown woman with a master's degree combat experience holding their target by the throat and threatening him with a one way trip into the dark realm, if he says one more bad word about Sora ever again.
Sota himself is sandwiched between Riku and Kairi, hands held up to try and calm Aqua down as she rages, only for them to be slowly lowered by Terra's bigger ones, the taller man shaking his head, "Don't. Let her have this. Last time it was Riku and Roxas' turn, its her now."
"Sora protection squad for the win." Kairi murmurs into Sora's shoulder and squeezes his side, "I am very happy to be her student by now. Do you think she can teach me that chain spell sometime?" she presses a kiss into his skin and grins at Riku, "I bet you a coffee that she will throw him out of the window in five."
"I am not betting against you, Kairi. I love you, but I know my limits."
"Spoilsport."
Riku just shrugs and hugs his boyfriend closer, keeps kissing a crown into his hair and smiling like the lovestruck idiot he is, brimming with affection-devotion, almost ready to burst. He is much more at peace like this, both of his dearly beloved in his sight and in touching range and he abuses this privilege with all that he has, legs sprawled over Kairi's lap as he tangles his fingers with hers over Sora's stomach.
Who by now has probably given up on stopping them from outright murder and just falls back into the embrace, "I missed you guys. This was a hard one."
"We missed you too.", they answer in unison as Aqua shrieks and actually does throw Donald out the window, only to turn back around, face schooled into some semblance of calm.
No one dares to comment what just happened.
"Well? I believe we have a meeting to hold. Sora, would you like to tell us about this new place?"
While Starts rambling about his newest adventure, Riku uses the chance to look into their group chat.
Adding aqua in here dont me this was amazing
He looks up, catches Roxas glancing his way and gives him a nod and a grin.
The next few days promise to be much more fun than anticipated.
Kairi tucks him back into their pile of affection and grins at him over Sora's chest.
Correction, they are going to be hilarious.
They have an even better alibi now.
Kairi's right, Sora Protection Squad for the win.