A story on Gintoki's tell and the chaos that ensued courtesy of the granny.

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Gintoki's Tell

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"Gotta go, ja." The white perm head samurai said with a wave as he exited his granny's bar.

"Gin-san has been out on his own frequently these days." A certain megane commented as he continued to write down a list of things in his log book.

"Knowing Gin-chan, he's most likely out playing pachinko or drinking again, aru." Kagura said through a bowl of rice that disappeared in mere seconds, "Another one granny!"

"Kagura you should stop eating too much, I won't have any rice left for my costumers tonight at this rate." Otose sighed seeing the girl's pleading eyes, when did this brat learn how to do that. Otose finally relented and placed another bowl for Kagura to consume, "Kagura's right, Shinpachi. Gintoki's most likely drinking out there."

The eighteen year old man wondered for a moment before speaking, "I thought so too. But then I happen to have encountered Madao, Gin-san's usual drinking and gambling buddy, and he told me he hasn't been hanging out with Gin-san this past week so it's quite unli-."

"Shin-chan! You forgot the bento I made!" A certain dark haired lady greeted as she entered the bar to her brother's disdain.

"Anego!" Kagura's mood brightened seeing the woman who she looks up to the most, "Did you just say ben-oh." She stopped herself before she could say something she'd regret.

The occupants of the bar shuddered hearing the words 'bento' and 'I made' in one sentence from the one and only, Shimura Tae.

"Ah eto anueue," Shinpachi started to sweat profusely as his older sister started placing several bento boxes in front of him, all containing the same thing, the dark matter, "I'm quite full already-"

"Nonsense!" Otae waved his protests off, "He hasn't eaten anything in here, has he, Otose-san?"

Shinpachi turned to the granny with pleading eyes.

Otose blew a smoke that for some reason shaped into the characters of 'I got you' before vanishing into the air, "He actually ate a lot earlier, Otae."

Arigatou granny! Shinpachi cried inwardly in happiness only to sob again in horror.

"He did!? Then you should eat more! You'll need the energy if you want to keep on working, Shin-chan." Otae exclaimed but Shinpachi suddenly pushed all the bento to the floor on 'accident' spilling all of the black mass contents, "Gomen, anueue!"

Otae can only shake her head as her masterpiece laid on the floor. She started cleaning it up with a sigh, "Shin-chan, you're an adult now. I thought we've dealt with your clumsiness already."

Kagura smiled sinisterly and gave Shinpachi a teasing grin, "He wasn't clumsy, anego. He-KUH"

"HAHAHAHAHAHHA Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi laughed as he pushed a scoop of rice directly to the girl's mouth, "Can we just go back to talking about Gin-san already?"

"What's up with Gin-san?" Otae asked curiously after she finished cleaning the floor with Tama's help, "Thank you, Tama-chan."

"Gin-chan has been going out on his own this past week." Kagura explained, "And he hasn't been hanging out with Madao so gambling and drinking are out of the question, aru."

"Hmmm that is indeed unusual." Otae wondered as she sat down on the stool between her brother and Kagura whom she treats like a sister and a daughter.

All were silent for a moment then Otose suddenly had an idea as she stared at Otae recalling how Gintoki just sat on the same seat earlier, Oh this would be fun.

"Maybe the idiot's in love."

"Eh?" All ears turned to the old granny. And what was meant by all ears is that ALL EARS. With Sacchan falling from the ceiling and the eavesdropping Kyuubei and Tsukuyo who just happened to past by minutes ago, slipping in the room.

"Gin-san's in love!? Kyah~!" Sacchan screeched as she approach the group with excitement, "It must be with me!" She proclaimed while pointedly looking at her love rival, Otae, to which the latter replied, "What you are looking at!?"

"The idiot's in love?" Kyuubei wondered too as she and Tsuki sat beside Shinpachi, "Well this is surprising."

"It is," Tsukuyo said as she blew a smoke, "If anything, that idiot's the most dense when it comes to women."

The women in the room except for Kagura all silently agreed.

"Sacchan, shouldn't you know what Gin-san has been doing?" Shinpachi asked.

"Gin-san asked to not stalk him for this month in exchange that he won't kick me out if he spots me for the next few months!" Sacchan informed, "Isn't he generous, OH Gin-san! Punish me!"

Everyone in the room collectively decided to ignore the purple head.

Hmmm let's make it more interesting, Otose inwardly grinned and cleared her throat to catch the floating minds of the occupants of the room. Actually except for the one that was unshamingly fantasizing sadomaso stuff.

"Did you know that Gintoki has a tell?"

All focus shifted to her.

"No way!" Shinpachi broke the silence.

"I'm with Shinpachi on this one, Otose-san." Kyuubei nodded in agreement.

"Of course, Gin-chan doesn't have a tell!" Kagura proclaimed, "If he had a tell it would've been easier for me to call Soyo-chan, aru."

"Kagura-chan," Shinpachi shook his head, "We're not talking about a telephone."

"Oh?" Kagura wondered for a moment, "Then Gin-chan has a tell."

"How do you know Kagura-chan?" Otae asked.

Kagura raised an eyebrow, "Doesn't everybody know that Gin-chan has a TV up there, aru?"

Oh Kagura... The occupants of the room collectively thought as they face palmed at the girl's ignorance.

Except for one big sister who managed to let out a giggle, "Kagura-chan," Otae spoke as she patted the back of the confused girl, "what everybody meant by 'tell' is something that a person does that gives away that they like someone."

Kagura made an ohhhh revelation expression and without hesitation she affirmed, "Yeah No. Gin-san doesn't have a tell." And continued to consume her meal with fevor.

"Kagura-chan," Otae started, "You have to slow down or else you'll get-"

"Kuh!" Kagura choked out, "An-go! Shin-chi! Hal-p!"

With that, the megane had to escort the glutton out to get her some air after having performed a heimlich maneuver with the help of the big sister.

"Anyways, he does have a tell," Otose reaffirmed, "I've seen him done it before."

"Then what is it, Otose-san?" Sacchan asked excitedly.

Otose looked side to side at first, making sure nobody was around then signalled the others to come closer.

And then the old woman whispers,

"He scratches the back of his neck."

Eh?

"That's it?" Tsukuyo surprisingly was the first to comment in disbelief, "He could just be thinking of something not like the idiot has a brain."

"I agree with, Tsuki, he could just be thinking," Otae said as she adjusted herself back to her sit, "surprisingly it's quite normal for him to do that, Sacchan what do you think?"

The kunoichi was unnaturally silent but based from the saliva dripping from her chin and wide happy eyes, she's most likely planning something in her... Let's just try not to get in her mind at the moment.

"Actually, Otose-san is right." Kyuubei interjected, "Usually when a person thinks, they scratch their head, not the neck."

"That... Actually makes sense." Tsuki said.

"So it begins," Sacchan let out a somewhat evil laugh, "Otae-san! The time has come! I will show you how Gin-san only wants me tomorrow! Be ready for it!" She proclaimed and started to go for the exit.

"Why me!?" Otae called out as the masochist exited the bar.

"I think I'll go ahead as well," Tsukuyo said as she stood up and left the bar too.

"Me too," Kyuubei stood up to leave, "See you tomorrow, Tae-chan!"

"Wait, Kyuu-chan! We still have to plan for our shopping tomorrow!" Otae said as she followed her best friend outside.

"Why did everyone leave?" Shinpachi ask with Kagura in tow, "Sacchan was quite energetic too. Should I warn Gin-san?"

"No need, Shinpachi." Otose said as she blew another smoke, "The following days are finally going to be eventful."

-/-

Gintoki sighed for the nth time today.

His stalker alert senses are on fire as he walked casually in the streets of Edo. He could feel the resident stalker ninja following him around since he left his home.

Whatever, Gintoki thought, now where was that sale...

Meanwhile behind a bush, Sacchan's laser eyes were focused on the object of her interest, the apple of her eye, the sado to her mas-(okay we'll stop that for a moment. Let's try to keep the rating of this story low or else I'll get my a** handed to the-KUH Shinpachi why!?)

Anyways, back to Sacchan, she planned to surprise Gintoki by doing the most unstalker thing to do.

Confrontation! Sacchan squealed and screamed, "Gin-san!"

As expected Gintoki was surprised but he raised an eyebrow as the ninja approached him, "What is it now, Sarutobi."

Sacchan simply stared at him and moments passed by in silence, come on Gin-san, scratch your neck!

But Gintoki gave no indication of moving until he was suddenly raising his arm.

Oh my god, Sacchan inwardly squealed, KYAA-eh?

Gintoki poked his nostril and started picking on a stuck booger, "If you have nothing to say I'm just gonna go ahead."

Sarutobi remained frozen with jaw wide open, NO GIN-SAN! "Gin-san wait! There's a bug on your neck!".

Gintoki immediately froze on his step. "Say what now?"

"It's a really big bug Gin-san, you should scratch it away!" Sacchan coaxed.

Gintoki's body visibly shooked as he was about to flick the bug away to Sacchan's excitement. But he stopped as he spotted Shinpachi a few meters away.

"Pattsuan help me!" Gintoki screamed.

Sacchan froze again with mouth wide open as Shinpachi helped his boss in looking for the nonexistent bug on his back.

Meanwhile on the roof of a building directly overlooking the scene, Tsukuyo blew a smoke.

-/-

"Oi Gintoki." Tsukuyo beckoned to the perm head from an alley near the Yorozuya just as he was passing by.

"What is it." Gintoki sighed and approached the figure, what did I do that made kami-sama mad at me, yesterday the stalker, now the drunk terminator?.

Tsukuyo observed the perm head for a few moments in silence. Still Gintoki was not scratching the back of his neck.

With a wave of smoke that suddenly turned into characters that show 'Go' a bug slowly dropped on the poor samurai.

With that, Tsukuyo proceeded with her plan, "There's a bug on the back of your neck."

And here she thought with the bug irritating his neck, Gintoki would go for the scratch but he simply froze and his body visibly shuddered, "Say what now?"

Oh he could feel it, the bug crawling to his hair.

Thankfully a savior arrived, "Kagura! Help me!" The perm head screamed.

Tsukuyo sighed as she stared at the cowardly perm head letting the younger girl look for the bug.

Knowing Kagura, she probably want to get it as a pet.

-/-

The past week the same thing happened with the two ladies vying for Gintoki's tell to finally show with the use of various bugs yet despite their efforts, the perm head never scratched his neck.

"Granny," Gintoki complained with his head on the counter in exhaustion, "Am I cursed?"

"Yeah of course you are," Otose replied as she cleaned several utensils, "Have you seen your hair?"

"Hey my perms are a national treasure!" Gintoki defended.

"And you better fix it before heading to the Shimuras later." Otose commented, "Otae would appreciate it more if you clean up nicely on her birthday."

"Yada yada," Gintoki waved off the lecture, "I just want to go there for the drinks."

"Right." Otose inwardly snickered.

-/-

Otae's 20th birthday was jovial as all of their friends available in Edo have arrived at the Shimura dojo to celebrate.

It was already late in the evening after the enjoyable feast, everyone started to drink to there heart's content except for the 'kids' who decided to play cards instead.

Kagura along with Shinpachi, Okita, and Pirako were playing on a corner with Otose and the other elderly discussing the old days outside on the porch.

Katsura on the other hand was at another corner with Hijikata and Gintoki, talking about trivial stuff while Kondo was near them sulking as the birthday girl rejected his proposal for the nth time as well as the numerous expensive gifts he bought for her.

Meanwhile the birthday girl and the ladies were talking in the middle.

Within mere minutes the celebration took a turn for the wild as Sacchan and Tsukuyo drowned their failed attempts in sake and started throwing kunais at the barely covered gorilla tied on a pole.

Meanwhile, the kids have already started a brawl with each other, with Shinpachi managing the damage control.

The elderly could only shake their heads with a smile at the scene and continue on conversing.

Otae on the other hand was drinking with Kyuubei and from the looks of it, she's quite drunk.

Knowing how brutal the cabaret girl is when she's drunk, Gintoki, who was dying of boredom from Katsura's ramblings, approached her worriedly for he knew that he's often the subject of her beatings at this state if she continues to drink.

"Oi." He spoke from behind her.

Otae turned to look at the perm head, "Ara, Gin-san!" She said then she suddenly dragged Gintoki towards the floor and climbed on top of him to his surprise. The commotion caused everyone to stare at them.

Everybody's jaw dropped taking in the scene with Gintoki sitting on the floor, legs sprawled out, and Otae straddling his lap.

HALP! Gintoki's eyes pleaded to the crowd as Otae's hands landed on his chest and her head followed mimicking a purr.

Gintoki's faced automatically reddened at the gesture.

The gorilla stalker who was confused by the silence screamed from the gag on his mouth asking anyone to let him see the commotion since his back was towards it.

Yet everyone was still frozen. There eyes stared unbelievably at the scene.

"Gin-san~" Otae said teasingly as she looked up to the man.

Yup she's clearly drunk better get out of here before she realizes what she's doing- I am so dead, Gintoki thought, "Woman you're making a scene." He said.

Otae's eyes shifted from teasing to doe-like ones, "You don't want me anymore, Gin-san?"

All witnesses could only stare at surprise, What the hell?

"Eh?", Gintoki froze like a statue but before he could reply the woman has already passed out on him.

He could only sigh as he scratched the back of his neck and muttered, "Tch, uncute woman."

"EHHHHHH?" Everyone who knew about Gintoki's tell were eyes wide and mouth open in shock except for the granny who let out a satisfied smile.

-/-

The day after Otae's birthday was surprisingly peaceful with most of the Yorozuya's friends engaging in therapy after last night's events.

And Kagura's teasing didn't help with that.

"Gin-chan and anego sitting on a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-KUH" She choked as Shinpachi catapulted a scoop of rice straight to her mouth.

"Not happening!" The megane was still in denial as images of Gintoki and his sister being lovey dovey flooded his mind again, "NOT HAPPENING!"

"Oi you guys," Gintoki spoke up as he entered the office from his room, "Stop being so loud."

"I agree!" Otose screamed from below.

Gintoki let out a sweat as Shinpachi started to chop some onions while looking straight at him.

"Pattsuan," He started trying to defuse the megane's growing malice, "you know there's nothing going on with Ota-"

"Ohayo!" The subject of the matter called out as she entered the room, "Shin-chan, I thought I told you that I'll be bringing left overs from last night."

"Oh no need anueue," Shinpachi said as he continued to eerily and menacingly chop the vegetables, "no need."

"Don't mind Shinpachi, anego!" Kagura said and started approaching the lady carrying bags of food in her hands, "I'll be taking this, aru." The girl said as she took the bags and headed straight to the kitchen to "prepare" the meal.

"Oi don't eat all of them!" Gintoki reminded as he and Otae sat facing each other on the yourozuya's sofas.

"That's a maybe, aru! By the way," Kagura stopped on her tracks as she noticed something pretty on Otae's neck, "Nice necklace anego!"

"Thank you, Kagura-chan." Otae said with a smile, "I got this as a gift yesterday."

Kagura was in thought for a moment before replying, "Must be from someone special since you either gave away or rejected the birthday gifts yesterday, aru. Not that I'm complaining, anego!" She added as she was the main benefactor of the gifts last night.

Kagura raised an eyebrow noticing the slight blush on the two adults cheeks but she waved the phenomenon off and then entered the kitchen, only to backtrack again.

Her curious eyes approached and creeped on her anego's necklace, "Isn't that the one Gin-san had old man Gengai make? Sheesh Gin-san saved a lot of mon-KUH"

"Kagura-chan you've said enough." Shinpachi said as held a bowl of rice straight to Kagura's mouth while his other hand held a knife. His face shows an unusual Saiyan like raging eyes staring straight at the perm head who was already at the door hand in hand with his sister.

"Ja!" Gintoki greeted before sprinting downstairs to his scooter, dragging the blushing Otae with him.

The sis-con immediately rushed outside to follow them, "I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS ANUEUE! GIN-SAN!"

"See you later, Shin-chan!" Otae said with a wave as they sped away on Gintoki's scooter.

"Well, looks like I'm eating everything." Kagura hummed as she opened dove in the food while the megane jumped from the balcony and started chasing after the scooter.

"Shinpachi's really persistent." Gintoki commented catching a glimpse of a sprinting megane from his rear view mirror.

"He is a Shimura after all, " Otae said as she clinged to the man's back for safety, "Don't worry, Gin-san. It'll probably take days, months, or even years before he calms down."

"Very reassuring Otae," Gintoki commented, "why did I have to give you that thing."

"It's because you're a stupid idiot." Otae simply said and rested her head on his back as she held his waist tighter, "my stupid idiot."

"Do you tell that to all the guys you've been with?" Gintoki asked teasingly.

"You're the only man I've been with."

"... I'd kiss you right now if I could."

"Gin-san! Focus on the road!"

"Stop gripping my waist too tightly!"

"That's because you keep turning your head to me!"

"Not my fault the mirror only displays your brother who is- oh sh*t he's going to catch up. Hold on."

"STOP KIDNAPPING MY SISTER!"

"I'M NOT KIDNAPPING HER PATTSUAN! WE'RE DATING AND ON A DATE!"

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE! COME BACK HERE! GIN-SAN!"