Enjoy!

Christine

Chapter 71

The Confidants

He'd come at just past two in the morning. And now Ibrahim sat in the armchair, staring at the floor, while Erik and I waited for him to speak.

When he'd knocked on the door, Erik had been the one to answer. My father came out, too, but upon seeing who it was, said he would respectfully let us chat and would be going back to bed. Ibrahim apologized for his rudeness, to which my father shook his head and said to forget about it.

Ten minutes later, he looked up from where he sat to alternate between meeting my eye and Erik's. And then he spoke: "I wanted to drown myself tonight." His jaw muscles worked. "I almost did."

I took a sharp inhale of breath.

"Why?" asked Erik softly.

"I don't know what the point is anymore."

"The point."

"Of living. What is the point? I have no purpose. No one needs me."

"We need you," I said. "Ibrahim, of course we do."

He shook his head rapidly. "For what?"

"You fool." Erik's voice was gentle. "Before Christine, you were the only grown human being who remotely cared about me in Persia. And if it hadn't been for you, I'd have died, and so might have Christine. We banter and call each other names, but don't think for a second I don't have love for you."

"And you know it's the same for me." I moved a little further to the edge of the seat. "You know that."

Ibrahim's lip quirked. "Well, if I'd known just how much the two of you wanted me-"

"Stop deflecting." Erik didn't so much as smile. "I know that trick. I've done it a thousand times. It's inappropriate. It does nothing but push you further away. Stop."

His lips flattened at Erik's words. And in its place, his eyes began to wet. Erik had taken away his shield, leaving him vulnerable.

"I love Raoul," he whispered. "I fell in love with him."

"The vicomte?" I clarified.

"What other Raoul is there?" He looked away. "I was drunk at the party. I danced with a woman. He was jealous. He kissed me." A long, quivering sigh. "He now wants nothing to do with me. He believes it would be...a sin."

Erik kept his voice low. "I'm sorry, Ibrahim."

"I've lost him. I've lost Azizah."

"You haven't lost Azizah." I hoped that he would meet my eye, but he merely shook his head at the ground. "She's still your sister. She still loves you."

"She doesn't need me anymore."

Erik scoffed. "Oh, stop. Please." Ibrahim did look at him then. "She does need you. But, perhaps, she also needs Nadir. She doesn't need you and him in the same way, but do you realize how devastated she would be if she woke up tomorrow morning and you washed up on the shore of the river? Do you know how devastated I would be? Christine? Good God, Ibrahim-"

"I want Raoul." The words came out strained.

Erik frowned. "I know."

"I want to find purpose with him."

I grimaced. This was heartbreaking to hear.

"But," he continued, "the problem is that unless he tells me he doesn't love me, I won't be able to stop wanting that."

"Did he not tell you he doesn't love you?" asked Erik.

"He never said those words. He told me he wants me, but can't be with me. I can't..." His voice broke. "I need him to tell me he doesn't love me in order for me to find purpose elsewhere. I could move on. Find love, perhaps, somewhere else. Focus on the love of my family and friends. But I feel I can't do that while he has me on this...string. While I feel, deep down, he does actually love me back and I'm left waiting for him to come to his senses."

"Then ask him," suggested Erik. "Tell him you need that closure."

Ibrahim winced. "What if he says he doesn't love me."

"Then," I said, "come straight here."

The meaning of my words came to him slowly. When they did, he broke into tears.

Erik and I were at his side in moments, catching each and every shred of sorrow as they fell from him. Holding them close, speaking softly to them, and then letting them drift away.