Sam stood in the library, stooped over one of the wooden oak tables with scrunched eyebrows, as he ran his fingers over the tiny lettering. Dean left not too long ago to run errands, but declined Sam's company. They spent enough time together in the bunker to last a lifetime, so Sam didn't blame him. The new case was befuddling, which really meant exhausting. A thousand books and no clue what exactly they were looking for. That could drive anyone insane. Still, Sam would take the preoccupation over boredom any day.
There was shuffling behind him, but he didn't bother looking up and risk losing his place. "Hey, Cas."
"Hello, Sam," Cas returned, "Find anything?"
"Not yet," a piece of hair fell in Sam's face and he tucked it behind his ear.
There was a hand on his shoulder and Sam paused, looking behind him at Cas. "What's up?"
"You shouldn't work so hard."
Sam blinked. It was unusual for Cas to touch him, but it was a nice sentiment, if not a little awkward. "It's okay. Gives me something to do," he wanted to turn back around, but Cas hadn't moved his hand. Sam glanced at it. Cas slid it up and wrapped it around the back of Sam's neck.
"Uh," Sam swallowed.
Cas gripped him and tried to pull him in, but Sam jerked back from the touch. "What are you doing?"
"Come on, Sam," his voice was eerie and playful, the complete opposite of his usual timbre.
"What the hell," Sam attempted to side-step, but Cas wrapped his other hand around his neck and pulled him close. Sam sometimes forgot the superhuman power the angel possessed. He pressed his lips against Sam's while he struggled to squirm away. When he pulled back Sam growled, "What are you doing?"
"Come on, Sam, don't you recognize me?" Cas purred.
Sam's heart, that had just been pounding in his chest, stopped entirely. "Who are you?"
"After all the time we spent together, that's cold," he licked his lips.
"Lucifer?" Sam whispered.
"Bingo."
Sam sprang to life again, trying to jump backwards and scramble across the table, but Lucifer grabbed him by the shoulders so that he couldn't escape. Sam kicked, but it was nothing compared to Lucifer's power. The devil didn't even flinch. "Remember what we used to do in the cage? All the fun we used to have?"
"No," Sam said pointlessly. They both knew it was a lie. Sam never forgot anything that happened to him in that cage, the memories seared into his brain.
"Maybe I should jog your memory then," Lucifer grinned deviously. Sam's stomach turned over.
"Cas, please-"
"He can't help you now."
"You can fight him," Sam continued.
"What did I just say?" Lucifer snapped.
"You're stronger than him, Cas-"
"You're not listening, Sam," Lucifer spat. He dragged Sam forward, still holding tight to his shoulders, and slammed his body against the hardwood floor, pinning him down, his face inches from Sam's. "I'll let him watch, if you want him here so badly."
"No," that was worse. Cas couldn't see this, couldn't know about the things that Lucifer did to him in the dark.
"What is it? You don't want him to know about you? Know what you've done?" there was amusement in Lucifer's voice, "Now he's got a front row seat."
Sam wouldn't give up, despite knowing the futility of it. He writhed and kicked and shouted insults, but his body was growing exhausted. Dean would come back any minute and stop this from happening.
"Remember how I broke you? How you'd just lay there and take it? I think I like you better like this," Lucifer leaned down and kissed Sam slowly. Sam bit his lip like he was trying to tear the skin off. Lucifer growled and slapped one hand across Sam's cheek. His vision went white and he gasped out. The power behind everything he did was incomparable to a human's.
"Fuck you," Sam spat.
Lucifer chuckled. "That's the plan," he bent in to kiss Sam again, apparently satisfied he had discouraged any more attacks, but Sam wouldn't give up easily. Resisting gave Dean enough time to return. He clamped his teeth into Lucifer's lip.
A hand was wrapped around his throat. Sam opened his mouth, releasing the skin, and tried to breathe, but he only managed to cough. Lucifer squeezed, silencing Sam. He opened and closed his mouth. No air came. Lucifer took the opportunity to kiss him. He slipped his tongue into Sam's mouth and ran it across Sam's.
Sam's head ached and his ears rang with alarm bells. The world began to fade to black as his eyes rolled back in his head, just when Lucifer released his iron grip. Sam panted, gulping in sweet oxygen. "Did we learn our lesson?"
Sam looked up at him. He couldn't answer, because in a way, he had. He couldn't let himself die like this. Lucifer bent forward and slipped his tongue through Sam's parted lips and glided in his mouth. It was wet and the kiss was hot. Lucifer hummed into Sam's mouth as he searched it with his tongue.
He rubbed himself against Sam as he worked. Sam could feel Lucifer's member through his pants as he grinded. He was painfully aware that Cas was watching this all. He was seeing Sam like this, weak and used. Sam shut his eyes.
Lucifer withdrew. "What? You can't look at me, Sammy?" he took one hand and held it around Sam's throat without pressing down. The other he moved from its iron clasp on Sam's shoulder and snaked down to Sam's pants. It was a threat, daring him to attempt escape when he could so easily kill Sam with a little pressure. He unbuttoned and unzipped the jeans and wriggled them down, leaving only his boxers to cover him. "Open your eyes," Sam gave a tiny shake of his head, "Open your eyes," Lucifer repeated with venom in his voice. Sam squinted up at him. "That's right," Lucifer cooed as he tugged down Sam's boxers, leaving him completely exposed.
"Stop," Sam whispered one last plea. Lucifer smiled. He enjoyed it when Sam begged. He loved that despair that came with the act. He wanted to see him desperate and afraid, his only hope pleading with the damn devil. Sam resolved not to speak again. Dean would be here, he reminded himself, Dean would save him.
Lucifer reached his hand back to Sam's face and held it in front of his mouth. "Lick," he instructed. Sam hesitated. It went against his nature to obey. All he knew was fighting, never surrendering, but Lucifer put the slightest pressure on his throat as a reminder. Sam opened his mouth and accepted the fingers. He sucked on them, each individually and circling his tongue around them.
"Good boy," Lucifer said and pulled them away. He moved his hand back down to Sam's naked cock and wrapped his wet hand around the shaft. "Let yourself enjoy this. Who knows when we can do it again."
He moved slowly up from the base, then he used his thumb to rub Sam's tip. Sam took in a sharp breath of air. "You like that, don't you?" Lucifer asked.
"No," Sam answered in a strangled voice. Lucifer repeated the action, this time holding tighter he stroked. Sam didn't enjoy it, every part of him wanted it to stop, but the touch naturally stimulated him and he started to get hard.
"You can lie, but your body can't," Lucifer moved his hand up and down, tugging, then paused when he reached the base again. He reached down, cupping Sam's balls and toying with them.
He drew his hand and Sam breathed out, realizing that his entire body was tense at the touch.
Lucifer unfastened the button on Cas's slacks and pulled both the pants and briefs down to his knees. "Look," Lucifer ordered. Sam didn't dare move his eyes, staring past Lucifer to the ceiling. "Do as I tell you," he said with a dark voice, and reluctantly, Sam's eyes moved down his body so that he could see Lucifer's hard cock. Sam's heart sank when he saw it. It was big, longer than Lucifer's regular body, and thick. He'd never taken anything like this before.
Lucifer took his fingers and reached beneath Sam, massaging his asshole. Sam involuntarily whimpered, earning a laugh from his attacker. He pushed in one finger. It stung, but the pain quickly evaporated as he adjusted to it. "You're so tight. When was the last time you did this?" Lucifer pushed in a second finger. Sam bit his lip to keep in any more pathetic sounds. "Fuck, you look so hot like that. I missed this," Lucifer pulled out his fingers, unable to wait any longer. He ripped Sam's pants all the way off and tore his boxers apart. His slow, faux-gentle touch disappeared, replaced with ravenous predation. He pushed Sam's knees up and apart, one leg to either side of him, and positioned himself to enter. His hand was no longer wrapped around Sam's throat. He placed them on Sam's waist to yank him closer.
Sam should run, he thought. The hand wasn't threatening to collapse his esophagus anymore. He could try to make a break for it, but he was paralyzed, vulnerable and broken. He wasn't himself anymore, just a toy for Lucifer. They were in the cage again with nowhere to go and no one to save him. Nothing else existed besides him and Lucifer.
Lucifer shoved himself in. The tip burned as it entered. Sam cried out. His asshole was on fire. Lucifer grunted and squeezed Sam's hips. "Sam," he murmured.
Sam couldn't stand hearing his name on Lucifer's lips. He hated when he said it in times like these. It sounded dirty and obscene. It stole his identity and made it Lucifer's.
Lucifer pressed further in, and Sam was sure he was being torn open. He balled his hands into fists and screwed his eyes shut. There was no way to distract from the feeling, not even a mental escape. It was too powerful, too overwhelming. Sam fought back a shout.
Lucifer thrust the rest of the way in, his entire cock buried inside Sam. His asshole felt like it would burst and his entire body was two hundred degrees. Lucifer held himself there, feeling inside of Sam. "You feel even better than before," Lucifer complimented and it made Sam sick.
Lucifer pulled further out and Sam's body relaxed, but just as quickly, he shoved himself in, his balls smacking against Sam's ass. Sam yelled, unable to hold it in, then snapped his mouth shut. "Don't be quiet," Lucifer purred, "I know how loud you can get."
Sam tried to shake his head, but he could barely move. His body trembled and his breathing was labored. Lucifer pumped himself in Sam, faster each time. The sensation was too much, Sam lost control of himself, unable to keep in his moans. His hips bucked. It was disgusting and wrong, but as he adjusted to Lucifer's cock, pleasure mixed in with the pain. With each thrust, Sam whined. He was sweating and he could feel himself getting close.
"Tell me you like it," Lucifer's voice reverberated in the cavernous room.
Sam peered at him, surprised by the interruption, but said nothing.
"Tell me how much you like me fucking you," Lucifer crushed his sides hard enough to leave bruises, "Now."
"I like it," Sam mumbled.
"Say it like you mean it," Lucifer said as he dug further inside Sam.
"Your dick feels so good in me," they were words from the cage. Phrases that had become a mantra. Lucifer loved flattery, even if it was forced. He told Sam exactly what to say and he never forgot it or moved past the shame of having those words leave his mouth. "I love it when you fuck me. I need you inside me. Please don't stop."
Lucifer moved faster as he leaned into Sam's and kissed him, roughly shoving his tongue in his mouth. Sam moaned as he released. He felt Lucifer's cum inside him and spilling out onto his asscheeks. Lucifer drew away from the kiss and heaved a sigh, then laughed. "Shit. You're still good, Sam."
Sam had come on himself, his shirt now stained with the white substance. It was the final straw. These days, Sam never seemed to cry, but tears fell down his cheeks as he stared up at Lucifer, disguised behind his friend's face. His friend who had just witnessed Sam's worst secret, a thing he never told anyone. Lucifer pulled all the way out and let go of Sam's waist.
The sound of glass shattering echoes from behind Lucifer. "What the fuck?" Dean shouted.
"That's my cue," Lucifer winked at Sam, threw his head back, and opened Cas's mouth to escape in a mass of black smoke. The fog disappeared through the nearest vent.
Sam covered himself with both and scooted backwards, away from Cas.
"Sam-" Cas began.
"What is happening?" Dean barked.
Sam kept one hand over his naked lower-half and tried to grab his pants with the other, but they were out of reach, and he refused to move an inch closer to Cas. He had no words to offer a gaping Dean. Cas looked to where Sam was reaching and picked up the pants, passing them to Sam. Sam quickly snatched them out of Cas's hands, but didn't move to put them on. It was too awkward to dress in front of both of them.
Cas looked back at Dean. "Lucifer was here," he turned back to Sam, "I'm so sorry."
"Go, Cas," Dean ordered. His face was bright red.
"But-"
"Just go!"
Cas nodded, picking himself up and drawing up his pants, not human enough to be as ashamed of his nudity as Sam. His footsteps were the only sound in the silent library as he stepped around Dean and left the pair alone.
"Sam," Dean moved closer to Sam, but he shrank at the movement, "Are you okay?"
He didn't resent Dean for the stupid question. There was nothing else to say.
"You should go," Sam said, finally able to speak.
"Here," Dean took off his coat, and handed it over. Sam eyed him before accepting and draping it over himself.
"I…" Sam trailed off.
"Let's get you showered," Dean lifted Sam to his feet. Sam stared at him with a ghostly expression. He allowed Dean to help him to his room and set him on the edge of the bed while he started the shower. He couldn't bring himself to get up. He would have sat there for hours if Dean didn't come back and guide him to the shower. "Can you shower, Sammy?"
Sam stared blankly at him before nodding. Dean exited the bathroom, softly shutting the door behind him, and leaving him to his own devices. Sam delicately removed his shirt and socks before stepping under the stream. The movement shot pain through his tender asshole.
The water was scorching, but Sam could barely feel it. He didn't have the energy to clean himself and lost track of time standing under the stream until Dean knocked on the door and asked him if he was done. Sam turned off the faucet and stepped out.
"I got you some clothes," Dean cracked the door and held out a T-shirt, sweatpants, and boxers. It wasn't like they cared about seeing the other naked, but Dean was being careful and Sam understood that, in the faraway part of his brain that still functioned.
He dressed in front of the foggy mirror and called out to his brother. "I'm done," not sure what to do next.
"Okay," Dean walked in, "Why don't you lay down for a minute?" he motioned for Sam to return to his room. Sam followed him back into the bedroom and sat on the mattress. Dean surveyed him and sighed.
"I'm fine," it occurred to Sam that that was what he was supposed to say.
"You're not fine. Shit, look at this," he tilted Sam's head to inspect the bruise where Lucifer had choked him, "I'll be right back. Wait here."
Sam had no urge to leave. He didn't think he had the power to move right now. He didn't know how he was supposed to come back from this. When he returned from the cage, the memories destroyed him, but at least no one knew. He thought that they might figure it out, since Lucifer tortured him in every way that a person could be tortured, but no one ever put two and two together. Now, neither Dean nor Cas would ever look at him the same. He had to shake himself out of this. Dean already saw him rattled, but he might be able to come back from it if he could appear unaffected.
"Sam."
"Huh?" Sam looked up to see Dean frowning down at him with a cloth in his hands. He had been zoning out. So much for pulling it together.
"Scoot over," he nudged Sam so that he could sit down beside him. He squeezed a tube of antibiotic ointment onto a corner of the towel and delicately dabbed Sam's throat with it. "Wanna tell me what happened?"
"Not really."
"Yeah," Dean said in a tone that meant that seems fair.
Sam hissed when the fabric touched a particularly sensitive part of the injury. "I can never look at Cas again."
"Don't worry about Cas, alright?"
"What are we supposed to do about Lucifer?"
Dean exhaled. "I don't know. We'll worry about it later."
Sam's eyes glazed over and he fixed his gaze on the wall closest to him, no longer wanting to maintain presence.
"Sam," Dean touched Sam's shoulder and he flinched away. His face warmed when he registered the dramatic reaction. "We need to talk about what happened."
"We don't."
"I'm sorry that happened to you."
Sam swallowed. "I told you, Dean. It's fine."
"You can't be over it that quickly," Dean argued.
"I'm serious, you can stop worrying," Sam pulled away from Dean's healing hands, "I'm used to it."
Dean froze. "What does that mean?"
Shit. He didn't mean to say that. His thoughts were too scattered to filter anything.
"Sam," Dean said seriously.
"I was in the cage for a long time," Sam said quietly.
"Oh," there was sober realization in Dean's voice, "I didn't know."
"I didn't want you to know. You were never supposed to."
"You could have told me."
"What could you have done?"
"I could have listened."
Tears welled in Sam's eyes. "Damnit," he muttered and wiped them away. "It's really not that bad. I mean, that was a long time ago. I've moved past it."
"This wasn't a long time ago," Dean pointed out.
"Yeah, but I know how to deal with it now."
"You can't just forget."
"We have more important things to focus on," Sam was ready to bury it deep in his psyche.
"You're important, Sammy," Dean looked at him with sorrow in his eyes.
"I should talk to Cas."
"I'll talk to him," Dean offered.
"No, I want to," the longer he put it off, the worse it would be. It was Cas. He could trust him, and admittedly, he was still in massive pain and wouldn't turn down an instantaneous healing.
"Okay," Dean said, sounding apprehensive, "I'll go get him."
Dean left and didn't return for a long time. Sam wondered how the conversation must be going. What did this do to Cas? Finally, the angel stepped through the doorway into Sam's room.
"Hey, Cas," Sam said, trying to sound friendly, but when Cas regarded him with those mournful, blue eyes, he looked away.
"Sam, I'm so sorry," Cas launched into an apology.
"It's not your fault," Sam interrupted.
"If I could have done anything to stop him, I would have."
"I know," he ran his sweaty palms on his pants. He didn't imagine being around Cas could make him this nervous. "When I was in the cage with Lucifer-"
"You don't have to tell me. I understand."
"I want to, though. When I was in the cage, a lot of things happened. What you saw, what I said, it was what Lucifer made me do. I didn't want to."
"I know that."
Sam was aware that Cas understood, but he had to say it out loud. There could be no room for question.
"I won't tell anyone."
Sam smiled softly. "Thanks, Cas. Do you think you could do me a favor?"
"Anything."
Sam touched a hand to his throat, indicating the pain, but not alluding to the more private agony where Lucifer raped him.
"Of course," Cas stepped towards him and held up a hand, hovering it in the air for a moment before allowing himself to touch Sam. He pressed two fingers to Sam's forehead and all the hurt flooded out of his body.
"Thank you," Sam breathed. "I'm sorry that happened to you too. It couldn't have been easy."
Cas frowned. "I never gave up trying to stop him."
"Thank you."
Even after the humiliation, the stripping away of any dignity, and the violation, Sam knew he would manage. Soon the nightmares would come, but he had dealt with them before alone, and now he had his family.