As Marianne walked into the monastery grounds, she was hit with a wave of nerves. Signing up to attend the Officer's Academy was a big step and now she was starting to have her doubts about being here. She was probably going to be hated by everyone, especially if word about her Crest somehow got out. Even if they didn't, bad things were going to happen, like they always did.
"Excuse me, miss! Are you lost?" Marianne was snapped out of her spiraling thoughts by a voice, and she looked to see a soldier approaching her. "I haven't seen you around here before, and I see a lot of people pass through these gates! Did you need help?"
"Um…" Marianne began. She didn't want to mess up this first impression. So she raised her head to look him in the eye like her adoptive father had taught her. She couldn't muster up a smile, but hopefully she looked refined enough to convey some confidence. "I'm enrolled in the Officer's Academy, can you tell me where to go?"
"Ah, a new student! I hope you enjoy your stay at the monastery. The dormitories are that way!" The soldier pointed to his left, and Marianne looked to see a large building across from a pond. "I believe the nobles are on the top floor and the commoners are on the ground floor."
"Thank you," Marianne replied with a nod, grateful for his assistance. She quickly headed over that way, mostly so that she could escape without making a fool of herself.
Passing the pond, she was distracted from the dorm building by the other building nearby. The smell of nature beckoned to her, and she walked inside the building that she soon realised was a greenhouse. A smile touched her lips as she took in all the beautiful flowers that were on display.
Putting her suitcase down by the entrance to the building, she went over to one of the larger flowers and got a whiff of its scent. She let out a content sigh as a beautiful aroma filled her nose. Looking at the flora around her, Marianne could tell that this would be a favourite place of hers when things were overwhelming.
"Dear Goddess, hear my prayer…"
Marianne found herself in the cathedral after the first moon at the academy was over, hands clasped together in prayer. It had been a tough moon for her, and she was sure that it was only going to get harder. Fortunately, nothing bad had happened to anyone.
Her class was nice, for the most part. Hilda had pretty much claimed her as her confidant, and Marianne was fine with that, she was much better at listening to others than talking about her own problems, unimportant as they were. Ignatz and Raphael were both friendly in different ways. Leonie was self-assured, something which Marianne admired about her. Claude was an interesting person, but seemed to be hiding something from everyone. Lysithea was nice if you didn't say the wrong thing, which Marianne unfortunately seemed to do. Lorenz was arrogant but easy to ignore. She was dreading the day he looked her way, though.
Her professor, though… She was surprised that someone like Byleth was chosen to teach them. From what she knew, he had been a mercenary his whole life and wasn't accustomed to being around people. She couldn't deny that he was an excellent leader though, as demonstrated by their decisive victory in the mock battle.
Marianne's hands clasped tighter. The mock battle had been so stressful. As the only student in her class who had experience with white magic, Byleth had chosen her to be a representative of the Golden Deer in the battle along with Claude, Leonie and Lysithea. Fortunately, Byleth had advised her that her main role was to be the healer so she didn't have to fight if she didn't want to, but seeing her friends getting hurt, and being the only one that could heal them… Her eyes scrunched closed.
She wished she was brave. Leonie was brave, charging at her enemies or blocking them from getting to her and Lysithea. Lysithea too; when she had gotten tired from using her magic she had even picked up a bow to keep supporting her classmates, though she was unskilled with it. Byleth had provided her with a sword, but Marianne had not only been too afraid to do much more than cower in the back and wait for her classmates to come to her for healing, but she also didn't want to risk her Crest activating and ruining everything for her. She was grateful that her adoptive father had helped her to keep it a secret and she didn't want to ruin it with a stupid mistake.
She felt like a coward. She was already considering telling her adoptive father that she was coming home. Byleth already had his hands full with the other seven, surely he didn't need to worry about someone as useless as her?
"Please, let me come to you…"
"Marianne, are you okay? You've been in there an awfully long time…" Hilda's voice called from the other side of her door after she had knocked a couple times. Sitting at her desk, Marianne groaned quietly to herself, staring at her hands in horror.
Today, she had been forced to take her first life. The memory kept flashing behind her eyes, watching the life leaving the bandit's eyes as her spell worked on him, feeling immense guilt despite her energy regenerating. Byleth had told them before the mission that it was kill or be killed, but when she was confronted with it…
Oh right, Hilda was waiting on her response. After they had returned to the monastery Marianne had retreated to her room immediately and, with a quick glance out the window, had probably missed dinner.
"Um… I'm fine! Sorry to make you worry, but I just want to be alone right now," Marianne called back, trying not to let her voice waver. She had a lot of practice with reassuring people she was fine, so surely Hilda would leave now? She probably had her own experiences to deal with anyway, she didn't need to worry about her too.
"I'm not going anywhere until I know you're okay, Marianne! I saw your face after that bandit got past us and attacked you," Hilda replied, causing Marianne to sigh. Marianne got up and headed to the door so that she didn't have to raise her voice. She didn't open it though, opting to rest her forehead on the wood.
"Why are you worried about me? You killed people today as well, you should be worrying about yourself," Marianne said.
"And it was awful, I know! I don't think I'm going to get the stains out of my clothes for weeks…" Hilda replied, going quiet for a second. "But that's not what's important here! We all got to talk about it at dinner as a group, and you weren't there, so it's up to me to help you through this! You don't need to shut yourself away, we're all here for you."
Marianne was silent as she considered this. She'd never had friends to rely on before, only the animals around the estate. She knew how the professor and Claude were big on unifying the Golden Deer, as ragtag a group as they were. But was she really so important a piece that she was needed to complete the puzzle?
Standing up straight, Marianne reached for the doorknob and turned it, opening the door to the pink-haired girl, who was wearing a look of concern that didn't fit what she'd seen from Hilda so far. That was enough for Marianne's facade to crack, and her vision blurred. Hilda rushed forward to embrace her.
"Hey, it's okay Marianne. You're not alone, we all went through what you're feeling," Hilda said softly. "I was able to grin and bear it at the time because I grew up hearing about my brother's conquests, but it's not the same as actually doing it yourself. I know I'm going to have nightmares about it tonight." Hilda released her to look at her with a determined smile, one that was close to being contagious, if the corners of Marianne's lips twitching meant anything. "Hey, how about we go pay a visit to the stables? I know you're fond of the horses there."
"That sounds nice," Marianne replied, and with a nod Hilda was leading them that way, her hand firmly clasping Marianne's. As they walked, Marianne felt a flicker of hope. Maybe it would be different this time.
Marianne could barely hold back her tears as she and her classmates fought against Lonato's forces, aiming to bring the disgruntled lord to justice. Even though she was keeping her distance per Byleth's orders, she could see that the soldiers that they were facing could barely be called that. Some of them looked like they might be even younger than her…
"Lady Marianne, are you alright? Are you hurt?" One of the members of her battalion asked her when she was unable to restrain a sob.
"I'm not hurt, but… Lonato's soldiers…" Marianne choked out, holding her hands to her mouth as she watched the battle unfold.
"Is everything alright here?" Byleth's voice asked, and Marianne turned to see her professor approaching her. Marianne opened her mouth to speak, but she was beat to the punch.
"Lady Marianne is distressed about the soldiers we're fighting, sir. I don't think it wise for her to keep going," Another of the men serving under her replied, but as Byleth nodded Marianne called to him.
"I'll be okay, Professor. I know that we have to do things that we don't like sometimes, and I want to fight alongside all of you," Marianne said, and with her initial thoughts out of the way she wilted underneath the stares of her professor and battalion. "Um… If you'd rather me sit out that's okay too."
"No, that won't be necessary, Marianne. I think you're brave to keep going," Byleth replied, the praise lifting Marianne's spirits. "How about you keep close to me? I'll protect you, and you can focus on your healing and not Lonato's forces."
"That sounds good, Professor, thank you," Marianne nodded meekly. With another nod, Byleth headed back into the fray, Marianne close behind him. Marianne could see her battalion looking at her approvingly, and she felt a bit flustered because of it. She still didn't feel particularly brave, but… She could get through this one battle.
Marianne was in awe as she watched her professor pick up the sword that was in the coffin and fight with it almost as if he and it were one. When the fighting was done, she was able to get a closer look at the sword, which Claude quickly realised was a Hero's Relic, like Catherine's Thunderbrand. She'd heard talk that her professor had a Crest that he didn't even know about, and seeing him wield a Hero's Relic so easily only confirmed that.
For a moment, bitterness ate at her as she watched the rest of her classmates cheer for their victory. Here she was, with a Crest of her own that only brought her pain, but her professor lived his whole life before now without even knowing? If only she could be so ignorant…
She quickly chastised herself for that thought. It wasn't fair of her to judge him for how he was raised. She would have to ask the goddess for forgiveness later. Still, it did raise questions. What Relic is the sword that she doesn't recognise? How will the knowledge of his Crest change her professor? And would Lady Rhea even allow him to keep the sword?
It also raised the question of whether there was a Relic that was compatible with Marianne's own Crest. She severely hoped that there wasn't; she definitely didn't want to use it. She was sure Hanneman would be able to determine her professor's Crest because of the Relic, and the same would be true if she ever laid hands on one that matched her. The Crest scholar had already been looking at her curiously, she didn't need anything else to make him suspicious.
"Hey Marianne, are you alright? You've been quiet," Claude's voice asked, and she looked up to see that he and a couple of her classmates were looking at her. She flushed under the sudden attention, scrambling to come up with an answer.
"Um… I was just thinking about the professor's sword. It's so powerful," Marianne said, leading Claude to begin talking about how fascinating Hero's Relics were, fortunately turning the attention away from her. She allowed herself to relax once again as they began to leave the Holy Mausoleum. As long as no one suspected her of being curious because she possessed a Crest, that was fine with her.
As if the universe wanted to solidify her fear of her Crest, the Golden Deer's next mission involved a stolen Hero's Relic, and she and her classmates were able to witness firsthand what happened when a Hero's Relic fell into the wrong hands. Not that Marianne cared about compatibility, of course. As far as she was concerned, any and all Hero's Relics could stay far away from her. If she was ever handed one that was specifically for her, she imagined that it would find its way to the bottom of the pond where she wouldn't have to think about it. She wasn't taking any chances on transforming into a monster, she already had to worry about that thanks to the specific nature of her Crest. Any Relics that could speed up that process could leave her alone.
Like they did with the bandit mission, the Golden Deer grouped together to talk at dinner about their concerns. The difference this time was that Marianne, with the encouragement of Hilda, was in attendance, seated between the pink-haired girl and Lysithea.
"So the Crests have the power to turn people into monsters… How horrifying. I haven't come across that in my studies into the Relics, but maybe that's because of the texts that we're allowed access to," Claude said, keeping his voice low. Byleth had informed them that they weren't to tell anyone what they had seen in Conand Tower on Lady Rhea's orders, so it was important that they weren't overheard. Marianne felt sad that Sylvain wouldn't know how his brother truly died, but there was nothing she could do about that.
"I've seen the Relic that House Goneril keeps, and I think I'm glad that it's kept locked away. If it could turn me into a monster, I don't want anything to do with it!" Hilda replied with disgust, Claude tapping a finger to her lips when she got a little loud and receiving an eye roll in return.
"Teach did say that anyone with a compatible Crest wouldn't be turned into a monster, since he raised his concerns with Rhea and she said he would be fine to use the Sword of the Creator," Claude replied.
"I still don't think I'd risk it! It's a pretty ugly weapon anyway…" Hilda said, crossing her arms.
"I, on the other hand, would be quite happy to use the Hero's Relic House Gloucester holds," Lorenz contributed. "Thyrsus would do wonders for my magical abilities, according to what my father has taught me of its properties."
"House Reigan has a Relic, too, doesn't it?" Leonie asked, a nod from Claude her answer. She snapped her fingers in disappointment. "Man, I wish I could use a Relic. But I don't have a Crest and would rather stay the way I am, so I'll just keep training!"
"Same with me! I'd rather focus on my muscles than some fancy weapon," Raphael added, laughing heartily.
"Raphael, the Hero's Relics are more than just 'fancy weapons'!" Lorenz exclaimed, sounding scandalised. They've been used to keep Fodlan safe for centuries! They should be respected!"
As the conversation devolved into arguing Marianne tuned them out, focusing more on picking at her food than trying to contribute. She didn't have much to say that her classmates would approve of, anyway.
"How about you, Marianne? What do you think about the Relics?" Marianne was startled when Lysithea spoke directly to her in a soft voice, and when Marianne looked she saw that no one else was looking at them.
"Um…" Marianne hesitated. What would Lysithea think of her stance on them? If she could say something that the younger girl would approve of, that would be nice. But Marianne had missed the mark many times before, most without even trying. "I respect that they've kept us safe, but I wouldn't want to use one myself. That's too much responsibility for someone like me."
Lysithea was silent for a few seconds before looking at Marianne and nodding, a small smile on her face. "I agree, it's a lot of responsibility. I also think that it's unfair that certain people are given that responsibility because they happened to be born with a Crest."
Lysithea mumbled something else that Marianne didn't catch, but Marianne got the gist that Lysithea wasn't fond of Crests. Or more specifically, how the nobility treated people who had one like they were more special than anyone without. That day, Marianne had a newfound respect for her studious classmate.
Through her worry, Marianne couldn't help but think that it always went back to Crests when it came to world issues. The people with Crests were put into positions of power, and those without were left to fend for themselves. And then having a Crest that people saw as rare could put you in danger.
Such was the fate of Flayn, who was suspected to have been kidnapped by the Death Knight because of her Crest. Marianne shuddered to think of what could be happening to the poor girl, which only made her searching for clues as to her disappearance more desperate. She and the rest of the Golden Deer had seen the Death Knight in the Holy Mausoleum, and he looked dangerous. There was no telling what might become of Flayn if she really had been taken by him.
After spending a couple of hours searching with no results, Marianne got tired and headed to the cathedral. If she couldn't find anything useful to lead them to Flayn, then she could at least pray for the girl's safety.
As it turned out, her brother had the same idea. Marianne cowered a bit when she noticed Seteth was present, but as she got closer she saw that he was steadfastly praying for Flayn's safety. Comforted by his devotion, Marianne walked until she was adjacent to him, sparing a glance and flinching when she noticed his appearance.
The man was openly weeping, tears streaming down his pale face. and his hands, clenched tightly together, had turned white. It was alarming, to say the least, to see the Archbishop's right-hand in such a vulnerable state. Marianne turned, not wanting to interrupt or embarrass him.
"You don't have to leave because of me," Marianne flinched again when he spoke. She turned to see that he was looking at her with red-rimmed eyes. As she stared, he produced a handkerchief to dab at his eyes.
"I'm sorry to have bothered you. I came here to pray for Flayn since I couldn't find anything…" Marianne explained. She was surprised when he put a hand on her shoulder.
"Thank you. That's all I can ask for from anyone. Please, feel free to pray. I'll take up the search once more," Seteth replied, attempting a smile at her before he left. Marianne watched him go, and she wondered what it would be like to have a brother like him to protect her or care if something happened to her. Being an only child, Marianne had always been alone to suffer under the burden of her Crest. Maybe it would have been easier if she had a brother, or even a sister, that she could confide in.
Marianne turned to face the last rays of sunlight filtering through the stained glass. Maybe one day she would find someone like that for her. For now, she had the goddess to listen to her troubles, and that had to be enough. Marianne bowed her head and closed her eyes, bringing her hands together.
"Dear Goddess, please look after Flayn and keep her safe…"
If Marianne was being honest with herself, she was scared out of her mind. But, surprisingly, they were doing well so far.
Byleth had sent a small team composed of Claude, Raphael and herself to take the center hill, and they had forced Bernadetta to retreat after avoiding her fire. Now Claude was manning the ballista and Raphael was watching their left flank for attackers from the Blue Lions. Lorenz, Leonie and Ignatz would be coming from that direction, and Hilda, Lysithea, Flayn and Byleth himself would be attacking the Eagles on the right. As part of her studies, Byleth had taught Marianne how to use the Physic spell, and from her vantage point on the hill she was able to keep an eye on her classmates and heal them as needed.
Raphael and Claude had fended off Ingrid already, Marianne doing her best to stay out of sight of the Pegasus Knight and healing Raphael, who had taken the brunt of her attacks. Lorenz's team had faced off with Ashe, and on her right Byleth's team had dealt with Ferdinand and Petra. Claude reported that Dedue and Annette were about to clash with Hubert and Dorothea to their north, and that's where he was directing his arrows.
"Once Lorenz's team convenes with us, you should all go attack to the north as well. I see Mercedes from the Lions and Caspar from the Eagles preparing to enter the fray as well," Claude finished his report, returning his focus to adding his firepower to the combat.
"Roger that!" Raphael replied, axe at the ready. Marianne nodded silently, her eyes currently trained on Byleth's team, who looked to be trying to flank behind Edelgard's position. "Incoming!" Marianne turned at Raphael's shout to see Sylvain and some other cavalry charging their position, lance in the air. As Raphael braced himself for the assault, Marianne began to sling Blizzard spells at them in order to halt their momentum, silently apologising as the poor horses they were riding on were hit by her attacks.
During a pause in her assault to catch her breath, Marianne picked up the sound of footsteps close to her and turned just in time to see Felix sneaking up on them, crouched close to the ground and sword drawn. A jolt of panic sent her into action, wind billowing from her hands as she fired a Cutting Gale at him, a cry of surprise bursting from her would-be attacker as she knocked him off his feet. Raphael, distracted as he was by blocking Sylvain's attacks, couldn't help her, but quick as lightning Claude was in front of her and pointing his bow down at Felix.
"Time to surrender," Claude told the Lion, who dropped his sword and held up his hands in defeat. Claude put away his bow and offered Felix a hand, and Felix took it to get to his feet.
"Thanks," Felix said, nodding at Claude before directing his attention to Marianne. "I'll admit you caught me off-guard. I wasn't expecting you to turn when you did. Well done." Having said his piece, Felix picked up his sword and began to walk off the battlefield.
Marianne was pleased at the praise. She'd become good at detecting quieter animals back at home, and certainly wasn't expecting to put it into practice at the academy to stop an ambush. And to defeat someone as skilled as Felix, who she knew frequented the training grounds daily… It was unexpected.
"Nicely done, Marianne. You really saved our backs there. I don't think I could have reacted fast enough if you hadn't noticed him approaching us," Claude said, smiling at her, and Marianne flushed at the further praise.
"Oh, um, thank you… I got lucky, I guess," Marianne deflected, shaking her head slightly.
"Seriously, he probably would have forced you and I to surrender while Raphael was occupied, and then helped Sylvain finish him off. Speaking of Raphael… Ah! Just in time." Marianne looked in the direction Claude was facing to see Leonie and Ignatz surrounding Sylvain, forcing him to surrender. Marianne and Claude joined the other Deer, Marianne's hands glowing white as she treated their injuries. "What happened to Lorenz?"
"He was defeated because he rushed ahead and we didn't get to him in time. I don't know what he was thinking," Leonie explained, shaking her head. Marianne felt a pang of guilt; because she was dealing with Felix's ambush she had forgotten about her role as the main healer and Lorenz had fallen because of it.
"I'm sorry, that's probably my fault," Marianne apologised, bowing slightly to Leonie and Ignatz. "I should have been healing him."
"What Marianne is neglecting to mention is that she just defeated Felix pretty much all by herself, which is probably when Lorenz was being a fool. So I don't think you're to blame, Marianne, that's all on him," Claude told them, casting a smile Marianne's way.
"No way! Nice job, Marianne! I certainly wouldn't have been able to do that!" Ignatz said before Marianne could protest, offering her a large smile.
After awkwardly accepting their praises, Marianne was thankful when Claude returned their attention to the battle, where Hubert, Annette and Mercedes were exchanging spells with each other, Dorothea and Dedue having been defeated already. As a unit they intercepted the battle, quickly overwhelming the two mages and forcing them to retreat. Claude then split from them to help Byleth's team with the remaining Eagles, and the rest of the Deer went to confront Dimitri, who had an honourable duel with Leonie and Raphael before eventually surrendering.
It was a relief when the Golden Deer were declared the winners, but Marianne was forced to endure the praises of those who hadn't seen her feat once again, shyly trying to wave it off.
"Excellent work, Marianne. I'm very proud of your performance today. The Blue Lions very well could have overwhelmed us if you hadn't defeated Felix," Byleth told her after all her classmates had dispersed. "You're looking much more confident in battle now."
"Oh! Um, thank you, Professor," Marianne replied, sure that her face was bright red. Maybe her victory against Felix was more important than she realised if Byleth had something to say about it. Once Byleth had left, she allowed herself a smile at her achievement, unaware that the same event was being used as fodder by Sylvain to tease Felix.
Marianne found it hard to keep herself from being sick, the stench of death and smoke prevalent around her.
Remire Village, as Byleth and Jeralt had described it, had been a lovely place to live. But now… Marianne could only watch in horror as some of the inhabitants of the village ran amok, warped into mindless beasts intent only on destruction. Their mission was to save as many unaffected villagers as they could as well as finding a cause to this madness.
Byleth had placed them into small groups to cover as much ground as they could, Marianne having been paired with Ignatz for this mission. With Ignatz' keen eyesight thanks to his glasses and training as a sharpshooting archer, Marianne was to rely on him to point out if any of their classmates needed to be healed.
"It's so awful… Why would anyone want to do this to innocent people?" Marianne was brought out of her thoughts by Ignatz's lamentation.
"I can only hope the goddess will help the villagers' souls find peace," Marianne replied, having no answer for her classmate. She could find no logical answer to why anyone would do this outside of truly wicked people. As they fell into silence, they were suddenly alerted by a scream nearby. The duo turned to see a crazed villager beating on a piece of wood which appeared to be held in place by someone on the other side. As they approached another scream confirmed this, and they hurried to save the victim.
Ignatz drew his bow and fired an arrow, the attacker groaning as it connected with his back. When the villager turned to face Ignatz, he shot another arrow, this one sprouting just below his neck. "Your turn, Marianne!"
"Right!" Marianne stepped forward, hands seeping frost, and fired a Blizzard at the villager, freezing him in place before the ice shattered, sending him to the ground, where he twitched for a few seconds before ceasing movement. Marianne got closer and, after confirming he was dead, bowed her head. "May the Goddess receive your soul, so that you can find peace…" Once her prayer was done, she nodded at Ignatz, and the two went over to the trapped villager, who cast aside the wood they were using as a shield.
"Thank you so much! I hate to think what could have happened to me…" Ignatz directed the villager towards the center of the village, where the Knights of Seiros would protect the survivors.
"Okay, let's keep going!" Ignatz said, and the two headed deeper into the village, where they were sure to find more horrors waiting for them.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Marianne said, looking at her professor with disbelief because she must have misheard his request.
"I'd like you to represent the Golden Deer in the White Heron Cup," Byleth repeated, and Marianne's eyes widened. Oh no, she did hear him correctly.
"Why me? We have much more capable dancers in our class," Marianne protested, beginning to panic. She would make a fool of herself in front of everyone.
"Because I believe in you, Marianne. Not only that, but I think you're capable of more than you think you are. The Battle of the Eagle and Lion, and how you handled Remire, have certainly proven that for me," Byleth responded, putting a stop to Marianne's thoughts as she processed this information.
"You… think I'm capable?" Marianne said quietly. She knew the Golden Deer had her back, and that included her professor. He was always ready to answer any question she had, and reassure her worries. "Okay, Professor. I'll do it. Um, but I'll need lots of practice. I tended to avoid the balls my father threw…"
Over the next few weeks, Marianne would do a lot of dance practice in preparation for the White Heron Cup. Hilda, who had been disappointed when she wasn't picked but thrilled when she learned that Marianne was the representative instead, was more than willing to come along to assist Byleth's teaching and help Marianne perfect the steps. Marianne was very grateful, because she was sure she wouldn't have gotten them right without her help.
All too soon, it was time for the White Heron Cup. She stepped up onto the stage that had been set up for the occasion, and she instantly felt nervous when she saw that her competition was Dorothea for the Eagles and Annette for the Lions. Competing against a famous songstress in dance… It felt like she was being set up to fail.
Even so, Marianne could hear her classmates cheering for her, so when it was her time to dance, Marianne put her all into it. When she was done and she was being applauded for her performance, Marianne felt a mixture of relief, disappointment and pride. She was happy that she got through it without making a fool of herself, but she felt like she could have done better.
"You were great out there, Marianne!" Raphael exclaimed when she joined her classmates while Annette was performing.
"I agree, you were elegant up there," Lorenz commented with a nod.
"You really think so…?" Marianne asked, and as the others chimed in, Hilda grabbed her hands and had Marianne face her.
"You were amazing! I think you'll win!" Hilda said excitedly.
"While Dorothea certainly danced well, I think that your performance was more memorable," Lysithea commented. Marianne flushed at that; a compliment from Lysithea was rare.
"Um, thank you, everyone. I'm glad I made you proud." Just as Marianne said that, there was an announcement for her and Dorothea to return to the stage for the judging stage. Nerves firing back up for a completely different reason, Marianne headed back on stage and stood to Annette's left, Dorothea on her right.
Zoning Alois' prattle out, things got quiet as the judging began. She looked to Manuela, the first judge.
"I'm going to give my vote to the Golden Deer. It was inspiring seeing Marianne give such a confident performance," Manuela said, and Marianne's heartbeat sped up. As the Black Eagle's teacher and with the same background as Dorothea, Marianne was sure the former songstress would vote for her student, so this came as a huge shock. Her eyes drifted to Shamir, looking like she'd rather be anywhere else, who was the next to cast her judgement.
"I'm voting for the Black Eagles. Dorothea is the most experienced dancer of the three, and her performance demonstrated that," Shamir said, arms crossed. Marianne nodded, that was fair. But that left the deciding vote to Alois, unless he really liked Annette's performance.
"And that leaves my vote! I can declare that we have a winner!" Next to her, Marianne saw Annette deflate, and Marianne felt bad that she didn't get a single vote. However, her heart was also racing as she waited for the news as to whether she won or lost. "And the winner is…" Marianne glanced to her right to see Dorothea looking confident, which had her wilt a little. She looked to Alois anxiously, urging him to reveal the answer.
"The Golden Deer!" Marianne could swear her heart stopped as the gathered crowd cheered, some of them shouting her name. She looked to her classmates to see them celebrating too, Hilda and Claude both waving at her with beaming smiles. Next to them, Byleth nodded at her, a smile on his face too.
"Congratulations! Your performance was so beautiful!" Marianne heard from next to her, and she looked to see Annette smiling at her.
"Oh, thank you…" Marianne replied, distracted when she noticed Dorothea coming up to her from behind Annette.
"Marianne…" Dorothea started. Marianne could see that she looked disappointed, but it was soon replaced by a soft smile. "If I didn't know better, I would have thought you were also a trained dancer. You earned the win today, congratulations." Dorothea offered her hand, and after some hesitation, not out of ill will but shock, Marianne clasped it and the two shook. The cheers got louder and Dorothea released her hand. "Now enjoy your moment in the spotlight!"
Dorothea urged Marianne to the front of the stage. Slowly, the shock began to wear off, and it was replaced by warmth. She could feel the corners of her mouth turn upwards, something she hadn't felt in a long time. Timidly, she waved out at the crowd. Maybe her professor was right, and she really was capable of more than she thought.
The next moon started off badly. They had to merge classes with the Blue Lions because Byleth was grieving, and while Hanneman was a good teacher, it wasn't what Marianne was used to.
Losing Jeralt had hit Garreg Mach hard. Everywhere Marianne went, it felt sullen and cold. The cathedral, her favourite place to pray, was full of people mourning Jeralt so she had been avoiding it, instead praying while taking care of Dorte. Even the dining hall, one of the most lively places in the whole monastery, had an air of sadness over it, so Marianne tried to take her meals as quickly as possible so she could leave.
The greenhouse was the sole exception, where Marianne could be among the plants, full of life and the warmth of the sun. Marianne found herself coming more and more often as the week dragged on for comfort.
Eventually, Claude called a house meeting and they gathered in the Golden Deer classroom after dinner.
"I think we should throw a party to cheer Teach up," Claude told them, eliciting a variety of reactions from his classmates.
"A party? Sounds fun!" Raphael exclaimed excitedly.
"But we just had the ball…" Leonie groaned.
"Is a party really going to make our professor feel better?" Lysithea asked, looking annoyed.
"That is a good question, Lysithea! And that's why I gathered you all…"
Marianne soon found her time after classes occupied with helping set up for the party. If she even tried to sneak away for some time alone, it seemed that someone was always there to steer her towards the classroom. Not that it mattered that much, Marianne was just as dedicated to making their professor feel better as the rest of them were, and she was eagerly anticipating the party.
Finally, the night came, and the Golden Deer were gathered together in the classroom, waiting for Claude to bring Byleth and kick things off.
"Do you think this will help cheer up the professor?" Marianne asked the closest person, who happened to be Leonie.
"I think so! After hearing what Claude was planning, I was certainly cheered up a lot," Leonie replied, giving Marianne a thumbs up. Coming from someone who was especially upset about Jeralt's death, Marianne felt reassured and went back to her thoughts while she waited for Claude. Fortunately, that wasn't too long, their house leader walking in with Byleth, who looked surprised to see them all.
"You're all here?" Byleth asked, and Marianne noticed how out of it he seemed. Usually stoic and hard to tell what he was thinking, Marianne could tell that he was depressed and grieving by the way he stood. It made her feel sad to see her professor, who had led them confidently into many battles, looking so down.
"That's right! We wanted to have this party to help you cheer up," Claude replied, a smile on his face. "So I gathered all the Golden Deer, who were happy to help out, to reassure you that we're here for you, in any capacity you may need. If you want to go after the ones who killed Jeralt, we would follow you without another word. Even if it meant going against Rhea's orders. Right, everyone?"
"That's right! I'll use the full power of my muscles against our enemies!" Raphael declared.
"I've learned so much from you, Professor. If you want revenge, I will help you get it," Ignatz said, nodding at Byleth.
"You will have the aid of Lorenz Hellman Gloucester!" Lorenz said confidently.
"It will be a lot of work, but it's for the professor, so I'll do it!" Hilda said with a smile.
"For Captain Jeralt, I'll fight whoever I need to!" Leonie exclaimed.
"It won't be easy fighting these people, but I won't back down, Professor," Lysithea said with a nod.
"The professor saved my life, so I'll do my best!" Flayn exclaimed, smiling at Byleth.
"I'll help, too! You've done so much for me, Professor, so I'll fight," Marianne added, looking at her professor with determined eyes. Now wasn't the time to back down. She was going to fight to prevent more tragedies like Jeralt's death from happening, no matter how hard it would be.
Once again, Marianne felt herself in awe of her professor. Just when all had seemed lost, he had cut a hole in time and space itself with the Sword of the Creator to come back to them, appearance changed dramatically. Lady Rhea said it was a blessing from the goddess, which meant that Byleth was a very special person indeed.
They also eliminated those that had been involved in Jeralt's death, but it was also clear that their fight with those people was not over yet. They had simply struck a blow thanks to their professor, so their enemy had disappeared to lick their wounds.
The first day of classes for that moon, Byleth had informed them that there was to be a ritual in the Holy Tomb in order for him to receive a revelation from the goddess, and as his students and trusted companions, they were allowed to attend as well. Marianne had been shocked to hear that; she never thought she would be allowed into the sanctum where the goddess and her children slept. As well as that, it would be amazing if the goddess appeared to give her revelation.
However… Marianne felt that it was strange. After all, the professor had already been given power, hadn't he? What would the revelation be about, then? When she observed her professor during class, he looked wary, as if something bad would happen, and it didn't soothe Marianne's worries.
"What's wrong, Marianne? You're looking a bit down," Marianne's thoughts were interrupted by Hilda, who was giving her friend a concerned look.
"Oh, nothing's wrong. I'm just thinking about this revelation that our professor will be getting," Marianne replied as Hilda sat down across from her with a plate of crumbed fish.
"It's kind of weird, isn't it?" Hilda asked, cutting into her fish. "Our professor gained power and transformed, but Lady Rhea thinks he needs a revelation as well? I feel that any revelation would have been received when he got his new power."
Marianne felt relieved that Hilda had the same concerns as her. "That's what I'm thinking. Our professor looks wary of this ritual as well, and it's making me nervous."
"It'll be okay, Marianne. If anything, the revelation might just be a reminder to use his power for the good of Fodlan and that's it, and we'll have worried about it for no reason. Or maybe the goddess did already speak to him, and nothing will happen at all." Hilda shrugged, taking a bite of her fish. Marianne looked at her sweet buns, which she had barely touched because she had been so deep in thought. "You should eat, Marianne. You don't want to go to bed hungry."
"You're right, sorry," Marianne replied, taking a bite of one, and even though it was a bit cold it was still delicious. "I'll try not to worry too much about the revelation."
"That's the spirit! It'll all be fine," Hilda replied with a smile, and the two girls fell into silence, completely unaware of what would happen.
Marianne was in the cathedral, eyes firmly squeezed shut as she fervently prayed. To her surprise, her prayers were less about herself than they usually were. She was praying for the safety of her friends, the safety of her family and those in service to House Edmund, for a quick resolution to this war.
Marianne was terrified at the prospect of war. Many times she had considered just running away back home to wait out the war, but every time she had gotten close, she had lost her nerve when she saw how scared everyone else was as well. Just last night she had accidentally witnessed Mercedes and Annette in the cathedral here, the latter crying in the former's arms as Edelgard's threat overwhelmed her. Marianne had fled, skipping her prayers that night to come this morning, the day that Edelgard's army would bear down on Garreg Mach.
"Dear Goddess, please guide me. Should I run away, or should I stay…?" It wasn't too late to run away. Edelgard's army was a few hours away, it would be easy for her to grab Dorte and ride away to the east, evading the battle and reaching safety. There were much more capable soldiers than her, her absence wouldn't be noticed. Lady Rhea, Seteth, the Knights of Seiros, her professor… She couldn't compare to any of them, she would be useless.
But her friends in the Golden Deer might see her leaving as abandoning them to die. She couldn't live with herself if any of them died and she wasn't there to save them. There were healers that could tend to the wounded, though. She was only one girl. Would her impact really be felt?
"Here you are, Marianne." Marianne gasped, turning around as a voice broke through the thoughts swimming around her head, putting a hand to her chest when she saw that it was only Byleth, who would never hurt her.
"Professor! I'm sorry, you startled me," Marianne apologised, bowing her head. She couldn't make eye contact with him. He had taught her for these many moons, training her to be a proper healer able to defend herself, and here she was, considering running away. He would be so ashamed of her, she was sure.
"I can tell that you're troubled. Can I help?" he asked, prompting Marianne to look up. She was still adjusting to his changes, but the earnest look on his face made her feel guilty. She straightened up. He had helped her so much, it was only fair that she put her trust in him.
"I'm scared, Professor. Terrified," Marianne said, finding her voice. "All I want to do right now is run away. Edelgard… She's coming to the monastery with a whole army behind her as the Emperor. Can we really win, Professor?" Byleth was silent for a moment, and as Marianne's eyes filled with tears, he spoke the words that changed everything.
"We can't win if you run."
Marianne froze as the words washed over her. If she ran away, her professor believed that they couldn't win. Was she that important? Marianne looked at him, eyes wide, and he nodded. He believed in her. He'd always believed in her, even when she didn't believe in herself. And it wasn't just her. It was everyone in the Golden Deer. Hilda had grown into a mighty warrior, confident in the face of danger. Ignatz's eye for detail had been transformed into deadly accuracy with a bow. Even Claude, who had been very secretive when they had first arrived at the academy, was more open and trusting of them as their house leader. Taking them into account, her professor felt that she was needed.
"Okay, Professor," Marianne made eye contact and nodded. "I won't run. Not anymore. I will fight with you and everyone else!" Byleth smiled at her, and that meant the world to her. It was the right choice. The Golden Deer needed to be unified, and she was important to maintain that unity. "Let's go join up with everyone else. I'll be fine now, Professor." He nodded, and together they went to join with the final preparations, ready for whatever the Empire could throw at them.
I wanted to write a story about Marianne, and this was the result. I love her dearly, and getting into her headspace was a lot of fun. I hope you enjoyed!