Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Superman & Lois. If I did, I wouldn't be waiting until July 13 to air the next new episode

Summary: In the aftermath of episode 11, Lois reflects on her life, and thinks about what she has to do to fight for her family. It's a companion to "He Wonders"

Spoiler Alert: Season 1, episode 11

Title: She Wonders

Lois stood at the doorway of the living room and watched Jon sleep. Jordan was tired enough after his confrontation with Edge that he went straight to bed. Jon talked for hours with her, about what happened that night, his dad, his brother's powers, their life in Metropolis. It was only when she'd sat down beside him, and lifted his feet into her lap that he relaxed enough to fall deep enough into sleep that she could lift his legs and go find herself a blanket, and some more comfortable clothes.

She watched his chest lift and fall, and she wondered at her own naivete. She couldn't believe she ever thought that keeping Clark's secret would eliminate the possibility of nights like this. The only excuse she accepted was how much she loved her sons, and would do anything to protect them. And even that one felt thin at the moment, thinking of Jordan's powers. They were only just starting to get over the shock of their father revealing himself as Superman.

She poured herself a mug of coffee and settled into the chair next to the couch, and put its footrest up. She wondered at their relationship at all sometimes. Clark's open, trusting, good nature attracted her was so different from the guys she usually dated. But there were times when he had this… weariness about him; it was a mystery she was driven to figure out. When he told her his secret, she was surprised, and a little betrayed. But after that faded, she realized she loved him more each day.

She wondered what it would take to get him back. How much of her husband will they be able to recover? Will he be too far gone to remember her, and the kids? Being back in the house he grew up in should be a comfort. So should being surrounded by the people who love him the most, but you could never be sure with this kind of thing. Clark feels things deeply. Edge would be the type to realize that, and manipulate it to his advantage.

She wondered at family ties that bind. Thinking of her brother-in-law as Morgan Edge gave her leave to imagine the satisfaction of putting a kryptonite dagger straight through his heart. The shock of living your life as the last son of a planet, and then finding out that you're not must have been mind-blowing for Clark. And then there was her father; another man Clark never quite trusted 100%. She would need to have a talk to him about building weapons that could kill her husband and son.

She wondered about friends that became family. How many of them would she need to rely on to bring home? John Diggle? The Martian Manhunter? John Henry Irons? Not quite a friend, but has proven himself not to be an enemy. The close-knit small town she found herself a part of was growing on her, and the friendship with Lana Lang was a pleasant surprise. Does she know about Clark's identity? Lois hadn't asked him, and by her behavior with him in the suit Lois would assume she didn't. Was it up to her to bring Lana in on it? Would she be compromising Clark's privacy?

She looked out at the farm, wrapped in a lightening sky. On any other night, she'd hear his footsteps on the stairs up to their bedroom; feel his arms creep around him after a night of saving people, and averting disaster. But instead a new day dawned, that left her wondering what it would bring.